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 playtime80
Joined: 7/16/2006
Msg: 1
Why do women just stop talking?Page 1 of 1    
I was conversing with a young lady on here for the last couple of months. I thought she was very interesting. We talked about all sorts of stuff. She is very quick with returning messages but sometimes it took here a while because she works, like almost everyone else. That's not the problem.

The problem occurred about 3 weeks ago right after Thanksgiving when she suddenly stopped answering my messages. I sent her usual messages telling her how my day went for a while but still got no response. Finally she sends me a message and states:

"I don't want you to waste your time. I see that you're on many favorites lists, so I'm sure plenty of girls are after you."

Even though I told her it's not true(and it's not! NOBODY is after me!) and asked her what she meant I still have not gotten anything out of her. As a matter of fact I have only received One message from her after the one above, even after sending messages telling her how my day was and even asking her what I did wrong.

Women, why do you decide to shut a guy out and not tell him why? Is there some sort of female pride issue involved in not telling a guy why you don't want to talk to them anymore? Even when the guy didn't do anything wrong? Is it not common courtesy to tell someone WHY you don't want to talk to them anymore?
 Mafiachixrule
Joined: 5/4/2007
Msg: 2
Why do women just stop talking?
Posted: 12/18/2008 10:57:46 PM
She found better prospect or may be playing games. Who knows on the internet. Women usually stop talking when men stop listening. If you really want the cold truth.

It's not about common courtesy OP. Something either went wrong between you or she may have found someone else. She seems a bit insecure and childish, IMO. Don't get too upset over it until you speak with her directly. If she refuses to make time to talk to you, she isn't worth YOUR time. It's that simple.
 playtime80
Joined: 7/16/2006
Msg: 3
Why do women just stop talking?
Posted: 12/18/2008 11:05:51 PM
I kept searching the messages: I don't recall not listening. I'm just baffled I guess. I'm a nice guy and it always seems to happen for no reason at all - women will act like the plague is around them or something.
 Schneizel
Joined: 8/26/2008
Msg: 4
Why do women just stop talking?
Posted: 12/18/2008 11:07:32 PM
it's over, let go.

Maybe in time you'll realize that this is just how women are and won't take it to heart. Hopefully you enjoyed your penpal relationship on the internet with her cuz if you didn't well all is lost. :(.

There are things in life you will just never understand, yet will be forced to accept them.

GL

To grive not getting closure and grive the fantasy of the what if's of the relationship continuing. I understand it. It's not a good feeling. :( You'll get through it :D

 The Brunette Bombshell
Joined: 11/24/2008
Msg: 5
Why do women just stop talking?
Posted: 12/18/2008 11:13:45 PM
Maybe she wasn't looking for a penpal and decided to stop writting to you and go meet men out in the real world. Don't take it personal, some of us women just know what we want and deserve; a man who will spend time with us, rather then just emails us.
 playtime80
Joined: 7/16/2006
Msg: 6
Why do women just stop talking?
Posted: 12/18/2008 11:15:12 PM
I asked her for her number before and even wanted to meet up somewhere. She read every single message I sent her. I checked.
 Woodstar
Joined: 2/16/2006
Msg: 9
Why do women just stop talking?
Posted: 12/18/2008 11:27:56 PM
So...you "conversed" for several months. hmmmm.

Well, I have several friends here (on several fav lists)...and I have an internet friendship with many (but not all) of them. We will probably never meet. Distance is the issue.

What's yours?

Did you ever try to meet her?

The internet is a strange world. People make decisions on few if any details.

Maybe (like some said) she moved on. Or, maybe she gave up.
 Mafiachixrule
Joined: 5/4/2007
Msg: 10
Why do women just stop talking?
Posted: 12/18/2008 11:30:33 PM
I asked her for her number before and even wanted to meet up somewhere. She read every single message I sent her. I checked.


OP~ the biggest reason IMO is they doubt sincerity. It isn't your fault either. It's called life experience and the weirdness of the internet that came before you. You may very well be a "nice guy". Don't take it personally if you can help it. She may be even be bombarded with emails. Give it one last try and move on. Don't beat yourself in the head over it.
 Slashmonkey
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 11
Why do women just stop talking?
Posted: 12/19/2008 1:33:10 AM
I was wondering this too. I've had it happen at least half a dozen times in the last few months alone, some woman will email me here, I'll try to start a good conversation with them, finding out what they like, etc. and they suddenly stop messaging me back after only 2 emails?? or sometimes they just reply with 4 or 5 word emails not even really acknowledging anything I said in my last reply, and sounding completely disinterested. wtf? If your not going to reply why message me in the first place?
 Kelley-1989
Joined: 11/20/2008
Msg: 12
Why do women just stop talking?
Posted: 12/19/2008 2:21:53 AM
She is not going to give you a reason because she knows from experience that if she tells a guy the truth, he will get ugly and call her names.

The truth is, she found someone better. Chicks are like that. They hang on to a bf until they are certain of someone better then they pounce.
 Bellydanza
Joined: 11/25/2007
Msg: 13
Why do women just stop talking?
Posted: 12/19/2008 4:16:16 AM
You talked to her for months? were you close in distance? At that time you should have met by then. Otherwise she's not going to take your interest serious and will move on and find someone who does indeed want to move forward with a meeting and possibly more.

Men and women both do this...and usually it's because someone else sparked their interest. Some men (and women ) are just too slow to go after a good thing...then someone else recognizes it, pounces, and they leave the other person behind usually scratching their head.

It's the nature of the internet. If you dont want it,someone else will.
 kornbluth
Joined: 12/25/2006
Msg: 14
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History
Why do women just stop talking?
Posted: 12/19/2008 4:32:46 AM

"I don't want you to waste your time. I see that you're on many favorites lists, so I'm sure plenty of girls are after you."

Anyone can put you on her Favorites list with no action on your part at all. You have the option to remove that person, but that may strike you as a rude thing to do without cause. The woman in your case may not understand this, and I think it's rather a murky area too. A lot of people have had to ask about it, so I can see why she may be thinking "WTF?" too.
 afashionlady
Joined: 4/19/2008
Msg: 15
Why do women just stop talking?
Posted: 12/19/2008 4:56:51 AM
OP

For the same reason that men do it as well...they are just not that into YOU. I don't know if you lived close enough to her to visit or not, but if you do live close--a couple of months of talking and nothing else gets old. A lot of us are like you guys--we don't need months of chit chat with nothing coming out of it!!!

And as other people have said, she's moved on. It happens all of the time. Don't generalize and think that just women do this--there are posts everywhere where women are whining about the same thing (and yes...it's whining SORRY).

As adults, we need to be more responsive to those inner signals that show us someone isn't that into us instead of being wrapped up in the infatuation of it. Please remember that you can't just talk to someone for months on end with no idea of when you'll meet. Most women and men aren't interested in that. If they want a pen pal, they can get those easily.

And if you are on all of these favorites, who are these women? Perhaps that's what she was wondering as well. If a guy has me as a favorite, it's someone I've spoken to numerous times and they've asked. If they don't ask, I remove them--you don't need to "bookmark" my profile and not speak to me. Perhaps go say hi to these ladies--one of them may be even more interesting and into you!!!
 zombie_chik
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 16
Why do women just stop talking?
Posted: 12/19/2008 6:05:51 AM
Your question was why do you decide to shut a guy out and not tell him why. IMO, she did tell you why, and you quoted her directly,
I don't want you to waste your time. I see that you're on many favorites lists, so I'm sure plenty of girls are after you.
She didn't like you being on a bunch of people's favorites list. Sounds like jealousy to me. Take it at face value. Would you want someone to remain in your life if either:
1) They were that jealous prior to meeting?
2) It had nothing to do with the favorites list and they simply lied about why they didn't want to talk to you anymore?
Why pursue this and beat yourself up about it? Let it go, grasshopper.
 chatte
Joined: 6/7/2008
Msg: 17
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History
Why do women just stop talking?
Posted: 12/19/2008 7:11:29 AM
Ditto to all of the above but I'll add one more.

I have abruptly cut off "talking" with someone because of something they said in an email. I recently stopped chatting with someone because he said something in his email that was a red flag to me. Honestly, I just didn't respond to him again, I didn't feel like explaining myself. Maybe that was wrong and I should have just emailed back with a thanks but we're not a match but after exchanging several emails that didn't seem to make sense either. Maybe I spook too easily.

It could have been all the reasons above or simply that you said something that made her walk away. And you can go back and read all your emails and feel that's not the case and everything you said seems innocent enough. The person I was emailing referenced my business but I hadn't given him any personal info about me. It may have been a completely innocent reference on his part, but for me? POOF I was GONE.

It's the internet. Get used to it.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 18
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History
Why do women just stop talking?
Posted: 12/19/2008 7:20:01 AM
I'm with Chatte on this. I have done the same. It's usually something that throws up a red flag but is sort of something they are unaware of or is part of who they are. Telling them will only make them defensive, or try to change or hide something that they probably can't.

Example: a comment that denotes racism, thinking animals are disposable, having no sense of humor, I sense a controlling or entitlement attitude, etc. It's something that can't be mistaken, and just makes us a non-match, but some other woman won't care about or be bothered by.

Outside of that, maybe she thought you were a player, maybe she got back with her ex, maybe she met someone else, maybe she never intended to take the chats anywhere, maybe she started looking forward to talking to you and didn't want to be emotionally involved before meeting. Who knows. It happens a lot around here with men AND women. Get used to it.
 PassionatePoly
Joined: 6/22/2007
Msg: 19
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History
Why do women just stop talking?
Posted: 12/19/2008 7:40:43 AM

Maybe she wasn't looking for a penpal and decided to stop writting to you and go meet men out in the real world. Don't take it personal, some of us women just know what we want and deserve; a man who will spend time with us, rather then just emails us.


I was going to say I agree with this comment, and that maybe you were just spending too much time as a penpal when she wanted to know someone in real life. But OP claims he asked for her number and suggested meeting. Maybe you took too long, in her opinion, to get to that point, allowing her time to meet someone else...someone who wanted to DO THINGS with her, rather than just write about things. I don't know your situation, of course, but that's my best bet.
 Mr.Clean0u812
Joined: 9/18/2008
Msg: 20
Why do women just stop talking?
Posted: 12/19/2008 7:50:10 AM
I'm willing to bet money on it that the reason she stoped talking is that she knows your a great guy and that maby a lot of other wimen would like you too and she might have a problem with that.A bit of insecurity maby?Its tuff to convince them otherwise once they get this notion in thier head.The only thing i've found to work is to just keep talking and being around them or to let them see how you are around other wimen that show an interest in you.If she sees you keeping them at bay yet still talking and showing an interest in her she can put her insecurities to rest.If you like her a lot you should meet and start a real life relationship of some sorts,not this net stuff guessing bullchit.
 ALOHA_CUTIE
Joined: 10/15/2008
Msg: 21
Why do women just stop talking?
Posted: 12/19/2008 11:18:57 AM
Why the prolonged contact without meeting much sooner????

The longest you should wait is a few weeks...the longer you wait,more likely you won't meet at all or the other party will meet someone else.

If you told her no one else was after you, why didn't you prove your genuine interest by asking her out right away???

I think she met someone else. towards the end. She was probably corresponding with other men along the way. It sucks things ended this way, but since there was no relationship in process yet...just think things could of been worse.
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