bllll
| | Joined: 11/24/2008
Msg: 1 | |
| | newly seperated..............Page 1 of 1 | For the life of me I cannot understand why people who are newly seperated are even on here!
OK you can argue that they want to meet new people,but come one,the amount of baggage attached to them is HUGE.
To all of you recently seperated people,I suggest you take a year off to deal with your issuses and then by all means,try and meet someone,the impact you have on those of us who are truly trying to find a long term thing is immense. | |
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| newly seperated..............
Posted: 12/19/2008 12:11:13 PM | What? For real yo?
I'm single, no kids, never married .... doesn't mean I don't have baggage.
Instead of ragging on the newly seperated why not focus on the 'not single' or 'married' men and ladies that are REAL HONEST AND TRUSTWORTHY, yet their partner doesn't know that they are on a dating site.
Everyone has baggage.
Why don't all the blonde haired people that are actually a brunette take a year off to deal with their issues? That would seem reasonable too. Or how about the girls that like to do male orientated activities such as watching UFC, they must have baggage. Lets not even get in to the men who are in touch with their feminine side and don't mind watching chick flicks. Wow, what baggage they must carry with them, it's totally unreasonable I would think.
I just looked at your profile, loved the naked pictures, but shoot, the baggage behind a person that would post something like that is totally off the chart that I can't even fathom what your therapist bill must be like on a weekly basis. You wonder why your single eh? | |
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| newly seperated..............
Posted: 12/19/2008 6:56:43 PM | i agree with the op, the first year of separation shouldnt be used to get laid or secure a piece of ass to get your ex jealous.
it should be used to get the current issues with your current marriage cleared away
newly separated people arent in any way shape or form ready or able to start a new relationhip with a current marriage pending
it is a proven fact that most relationhip that arise during this period are rebounder and ends up just hurting more people in the long run
before you start to date someone else. make sure you are free and clear to do so.
how can one married person openly date someone new, and pretend they are committed to the new person , when they are still legally bound to wedding vows? wedding vows, like them or not, are legally binding and a contract entered into by two people. if one doesnt at least end one contract before they start another one, what does that say abouth this persons character??? | |
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| newly seperated..............
Posted: 12/21/2008 6:40:17 PM | | LOL, I liked reading everyones comments to this subject. lol. Dont really do this forum thingt but I just had to comment. Separated, divorced whatever it is. Everyone here is talking like they have never been broken up out of a relationship before. We have all been in relationships im sure. Some are easy to get over then others. So that amount of baggage that goes with that is all dependant on the person thats on this site looking again. And just like me and you, we all expect the best out of everyone and the truth when it comes to meeting new people. And if theres baggage thats to much to deal with it, its up to you to notice what you can handle and what you cant and either be in or in the way. | |
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| newly seperated..............
Posted: 12/21/2008 6:41:17 PM | | Oh and I forgot to mention I have never been married or engadged. Nore do I have any children. lol | |
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bllll
| | Joined: 11/24/2008
Msg: 6 | |
| newly seperated..............
Posted: 12/22/2008 3:16:54 AM | Ok , first I will start by saying I am NOT NAKED in my pics....I am wearing a tube top,just cant see it.
Secondly,I am only saying that I believe that people who are freshly out of a relationship,should not come on dating sites looking for long term,when they are clearly not ready for it.I have met a few people on here who are in the early stages of seperation,and were looking for somekind of ego boost or attention,and confused that with love.I appreciate and accept with all that has been said,but I will stand firm on my beliefs..... | |
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g 04
| | Joined: 11/29/2008
Msg: 7 | |
| newly seperated..............
Posted: 12/24/2008 4:23:22 AM | OP:
Sounds to me that you are speaking on personal experiences, I think that you may want to consider the simple fact that everyone is different, and therefore has different intent and motives. I have friends on this very site that are recently seperated, one of them is simply looking to expand his social circle as he has been married for five years, with two kids and a career, so he has no socila life. His goal is to begin a social network in anticipation of the pending divorse. Maybe he'll meet somebody that he'll start a romantic relationship with and maybe he'll just meet some cool people to hang out with. Point is, it's his business. Everybody has baggage, I've never been married, don't have any kids and I have just as much baggage as the next person. It's how well the person carries that baggage that matters. | |
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| newly seperated..............
Posted: 12/24/2008 4:59:39 AM | | i think mexican midgets that are trained to be waiters at book launch parties shouldn't be able to come on here either, they can't concentrate on love when they have duties to attent to. Ban them too for a year or so. Also anyone that has ever gone Unicorn riding, it's absolutly rediculious that they would want to find love. Let us be reasonable on who we let use this site! | |
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g 04
| | Joined: 11/29/2008
Msg: 9 | |
| newly seperated..............
Posted: 12/24/2008 5:07:53 AM | mexican midgets that are trained to be waiters at book launch parties ?
Where can I find some of these little mexican waiters? I want to dress them in tuxedoes and have them cater a formal dinner party. That would be AWESOME! | |
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g 04
| | Joined: 11/29/2008
Msg: 10 | |
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| newly seperated..............
Posted: 12/24/2008 11:16:15 AM | | impossible! they will look like a mariachi band because they will have giant sombreros filled with tacos. duh. | |
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g 04
| | Joined: 11/29/2008
Msg: 12 | |
| newly seperated..............
Posted: 12/24/2008 11:42:56 AM | | Dude..........mariachi penguins! Now that is a brilliant concept. Or maybe I just really really need to get some sleep... | |
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| newly seperated..............
Posted: 12/30/2008 7:15:16 AM | i think she is referring to the liars. ie the married people who are cheating, and in so doing, mislead the other person by saying they are separated or divorced etc
i guess the best way to make sure the other person isnt lying , is to ask for thier home phn number or make sure you go to their home and see for yourself .
theres no sure fire way to figure out if they are full of crap tho , at least not until they crap on you, but you can try to take all the steps you can | |
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| newly seperated..............
Posted: 1/1/2009 5:21:34 AM | | I do agree that people need to give themselves some time to regroup. What's a reasonable period of time? who knows I've found that some people can let the past go fast than others and then, there's some who can never let the past go at all. If you feel that newly separated people arent 'ready' then I'd suggest it's something you will watch in meeting others. It's still a free world and suppose we're all here for some reason, it's like the saying "buyer beware". | |
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| newly seperated..............
Posted: 1/18/2009 9:14:45 PM | | Everybody has previous baggage from other relationships, it's whether they carry it into the next one is the important part. Take what you can from your relationships and start fresh with an open mind and an open heart. | |
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| newly seperated..............
Posted: 1/22/2009 6:05:03 PM | Hey - we all have baggage - it is our experiences in life that make us who we are. The trick is, to keep most of the baggage neatly packed away where it can't interfere with the rest of your life.
As for whether or not "newly separated" is too soon? Well, some of us (me, for example) stayed in the relationship for years while it was already basically dead, so when we finally did separate, I was totally READY to jump on the datin' train!! | |
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woops
| | Joined: 4/12/2005
Msg: 17 | |
| newly seperated..............
Posted: 8/26/2009 11:18:21 PM | | question if you are newly seperated what are the risks with the divorce ? can someone seperated legaly date ? | |
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| newly seperated..............
Posted: 12/7/2009 9:37:26 PM | | Really now. I am newly separated and I think its great to meet some new friends. I am certainly not dead. Yeah there are alot of things to deal with in a separation/divorce but i dont think you can say a person shouldnt come on POF for a year. In fact I met alot of people who dont even know my before life and its kinda nice you dont have them barking at ya about hows the separation, how ya doing. You get sick and tired of that. Old friends mean well but to make new ones is really quite refreshing. My opinion. | |
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| newly seperated..............
Posted: 12/7/2009 9:39:56 PM | | I dont think everyone on here is just out to get laid or start a relationship. There are all kinds of different situations. Think outside of the box. We shouldnt generalize everyone. | |
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| newly seperated..............
Posted: 12/27/2009 10:14:42 AM | In October a fellow on this site contacted me. He seemed nice, and we moved to MSN and then to the phone. He asked me out for supper the following evening. Then . . . I asked him how long he had been "separated". Turns out that his wife of 27 years had left him on Wednesday. This was Friday . . . 2 days later! I tried to explain to him that it was a "spat with the wife" and NOT a true separation! But . . . I see he's still on here. We chatted on the MSN a few times, and on the phone, BUT . . . I would never agree to actually going out. It was just TOO fresh, and being on a dating site 2 days after a separation was NOT the place for this man.
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| newly seperated..............
Posted: 4/18/2010 8:48:57 PM | Maybe the separated want to date other separated.
Here is my advice to the OP and others that think the same way. If you don't want to date separated people...... DON"T! I just wouldn't rule out possible great mates on the chance that dating them could become complicated. | |
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| newly seperated..............
Posted: 8/31/2010 2:20:17 PM | | Everybody deals with separation differently and it's nobody's business to judge how an individual deals with their personal situations. If you don't want to date someone that is just newly separated because of their personal baggage, then that is your choice to make. | |
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| newly seperated..............
Posted: 7/18/2012 12:14:16 PM | How do you define "newly separated"? Who has the right to judge another for their actions or motive?
Personally, open, honest, transparent, and following "The Golden Rule" is the way I prefer to live my life, and that excludes judging another person. | |
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| newly seperated..............
Posted: 3/7/2013 8:26:32 PM | elle-bee-jay on 1/23/2009 2:05:03 AM
Subject: newly seperated..............
Message: Hey - we all have baggage - it is our experiences in life that make us who we are. The trick is, to keep most of the baggage neatly packed away where it can't interfere with the rest of your life.
As for whether or not "newly separated" is too soon? Well, some of us (me, for example) stayed in the relationship for years while it was already basically dead, so when we finally did separate, I was totally READY to jump on the datin' train!!
Yup i agree with this comment ^ | |
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