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 OOhMeeOhhMy
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 1
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Pictures of Previous Sexual Encounters......Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
I was having this conversation with a friend tonight.... he was saying how his boys wife saw some pics on his phone of naked women.... and broke the phone in anger.... so the conversation progressed where my friend said that he has pics of previous sexual partners and him engaging in sex acts.... and he doesn't think there is a problem in that.... and that his girlfriend should be fine with him keeping these mementos.... I was thinking he was/is crazy..... and if you did keep them it is something you probably don't want the current girlfriend to see or find on accident.... he stated that he had several "action" pics on his phone from the past.... and that his girlfriend doesn't look through his phone to see them....

I was creeped out by this for some reason.... and thought that I would be not a happy camper to know that my boyfriend was keeping pics on him of his past.... it would be one thing for them to be in the bowels of his hard drive.... still questionable.... but less yucky then knowing he still has them on his phone to look at....

is this normal????
 Viho
Joined: 9/22/2008
Msg: 2
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Posted: 12/21/2008 9:54:15 PM
Well..past is past and some people keep mementos just for fun...and i don't see anything wrong in having your ex pictures as longer as you don't look at them 24/7 but if just kept somewhere then there's no harm done.Now when you start showing off your ex pics then something is not going well in your relationship.
I do keep pictures of my exs, but when i meet someone i don't show her my exs pictures because she's a new chapter in my life so no need to drag something past out.Your friend's wife she's right to brake the phone because I'll not keep my ex pic on my cell special if i'm married.
 OOhMeeOhhMy
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 3
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Posted: 12/21/2008 9:56:42 PM
Thanks VIHO.... I told my friend that I didn't blame the wife.... I would not be all to happy to see pics like that on my boyfriends phone.... I can see keeping vacation pics and pics from holidays and things you did.... but you lose me at sex pics.... and naked pics.... to me that eluded that there is still some interest..
 Viho
Joined: 9/22/2008
Msg: 4
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Posted: 12/21/2008 10:02:53 PM
I agree that naked pics are a different story special when their in your phone.His wrong , having naked pics on the phone and i hope his wife wont brake nothing else.
 BigDaddyJinx
Joined: 11/4/2006
Msg: 5
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Posted: 12/21/2008 10:04:30 PM

I was having this conversation with a friend tonight.... he was saying how his boys wife saw some pics on his phone of naked women.... and broke the phone in anger.... so the conversation progressed where my friend said that he has pics of previous sexual partners and him engaging in sex acts.... and he doesn't think there is a problem in that.... and that his girlfriend should be fine with him keeping these mementos.... I was thinking he was/is crazy..... and if you did keep them it is something you probably don't want the current girlfriend to see or find on accident.... he stated that he had several "action" pics on his phone from the past.... and that his girlfriend doesn't look through his phone to see them....

I was creeped out by this for some reason.... and thought that I would be not a happy camper to know that my boyfriend was keeping pics on him of his past.... it would be one thing for them to be in the bowels of his hard drive.... still questionable.... but less yucky then knowing he still has them on his phone to look at....

is this normal????

Well that'll teach them for snooping. There's a lesson to be learned from all this, if you don't like it, don't go lookin' for it.

Someone owes someone a new phone too.

Snoopy people suck.
 OOhMeeOhhMy
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 6
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Posted: 12/21/2008 10:10:37 PM
lol@Big Daddy.... so I take it you are fine with keeping sex pics around.... and that if your woman had videos of her going at it on her phone you would be fine with it??? as long as you never saw it... which you wouldn't because you don't snoop......

this isn't a topic about snooping.... we all know no good comes from that... it is about keeping sexual mementos and if that is acceptable and if a current partner has the right to be upset over it......
 Pixy Dust
Joined: 9/6/2006
Msg: 7
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Posted: 12/21/2008 10:30:19 PM
It just goes to show you that there is one more thing to worry over... nekked pics in cell phones.. man.... I'm for one thinking twice about sending a nekked pic of myself to a man .... it's gonna be there for all time and eternity.... no tearing the pics up with a breakup... my ex husband & I did just that..... but it was a lifetime ago....
 prurire
Joined: 5/3/2008
Msg: 8
Pictures of Previous Sexual Encounters......
Posted: 12/21/2008 10:49:19 PM
Of course it's about snooping. How else would a current partner even know about the kept mementos to be upset over them if they didn't snoop in some way to find them?

Acceptable in a relationship is defined by the two people in one. It doesn't matter what the general consensus is.

As an adult it should be assumed that the person you are in a relationship with has a past. "The right to be upset" doesn't sit well with me. It isn't a "right" that you are born with, being upset is a choice. Your friend chose to snoop and then chose to be upset over what she/he found. In a loving and healthy relationship I would only choose to be with a partner that chooses to love and accept me and not be given to fits of pettiness and insecurity.

Personally, I would be more upset that someone felt the need to snoop through my stuff and it would absolutely be a dealbreaker for me. If you want to know ask. However, if you don't really want to know the answer... don't. Which is what snooping is - someone afraid of the answer they will get if they asked directly.
 Autumn Marie
Joined: 7/11/2007
Msg: 9
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Posted: 12/21/2008 10:52:28 PM
I can understand keeping love letters, photos maybe, like physical ones or on a disc that is put away maybe, because I guess people do this? So I've read. But sexual stuff like that shouldn't be kept, I don't think.

Especially not on something you use, every day. WTF.
 ISSGOD
Joined: 10/12/2008
Msg: 10
Pictures of Previous Sexual Encounters......
Posted: 12/21/2008 10:53:26 PM
Any man who keeps pics of his ex's IMO is not serious about his current relationship. If I were in a relationship with a woman who did this I would dump her on the spot. As a man when I am with a woman, I am totally devoted to her. So why would I need naked photos of an ex. If I have a woman and want to see some skin, I will just disrobe her where she stands and pounce on her!
 OOhMeeOhhMy
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 11
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Posted: 12/21/2008 10:53:26 PM
ok... prurire.... what if they weren't found that way..... what if your boyfriend just said hey... look what I have.... it would be ok????


I understand we all have pasts.. but a past is gone..... time to live in the present.....
 BigDaddyJinx
Joined: 11/4/2006
Msg: 12
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Posted: 12/21/2008 10:56:35 PM
lol@Big Daddy.... so I take it you are fine with keeping sex pics around.... and that if your woman had videos of her going at it on her phone you would be fine with it??? as long as you never saw it... which you wouldn't because you don't snoop......

this isn't a topic about snooping.... we all know no good comes from that... it is about keeping sexual mementos and if that is acceptable and if a current partner has the right to be upset over it......

To answer your first question, yes it means I'm okay with keeping sex pics around. It'd be stupid and naive of me to assume that they didn't have some manner of life before me. If that life involved risqué pics, so be it.

To answer your second question, yes it means I'd also be fine with my woman having vids of her sexual prowess and escapades on her phone. For the same reasons as above. Face it, if we could all take pics and vids of our first "good" encounter with the opposite sex (kiss or sex) we would. We think about it all the time, so what's the diff in having pics/vids of such things? It may not be their first, but does it really matter? Kinda makes me wish my ex fiancé had recorded some "moments" as she was one Hell of a lover...mm mm damn.

It's not like she's gonna flash it to everyone, or me for that matter. I'd have to assume that she'd have more respect for me than that. It's not like she has it as her wallpaper on her computer, or a mural painted on her wall. Her private life is her own, as mine is my own.

Anyone that would get fussed about snooping and finding stuff like that just reek of control freak. So to answer your last question, to ME, it's not acceptable for the current partner to be pissy about it. We all had a life before we met each other, people need to come to grips with that.
 cdn-iceman
Joined: 11/23/2008
Msg: 13
Pictures of Previous Sexual Encounters......
Posted: 12/21/2008 11:03:00 PM
First thing is I would think that the guy keeping his sexual pics on the phone unless not all his dogs are barking??? why would you keep naked pics and sexual acts from former lovers on his phone? to me thats creepy and down right stupid.

Second the guy is probably one of ....whats the word???? voyeurs ? im not sure the correct spelling and he is obviously very selfish, lets flip the script for a second, if his current girlfriend had pictures on her phone of her ex's showing their fun bags, and other sex acts, you can be sure that your " friend" would lose it on her and call every name in the book, kick her ass to the curb end of story.

Third I think he probably keeps the pics on the phone and uses it to slam his ham /spanking his monkey for excitement , cause I cant think why he would keep pics like that on his phone?
I would think most of his " ex's" have no clue he has those pics on the phone, if they did the brass would be so far up his ass, his ass will be humming the star spangled banner by this time next week.
 OOhMeeOhhMy
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 14
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Posted: 12/21/2008 11:04:03 PM
Fair enough Big Daddy..... I have never been one to snoop.... but I Have always trusted that my partner would never do anything that would disrespect me.... I know that everyone has a past..... and the expectation for me is that he isn't reliving it from videos...... but..... it would have to be something he told me because I have never even touched his phone or computer...... not on my list of things to do when we are together...


lol@iceman.... I really don't even know if I would want to know what someone was taking care of business with.... I would hope that people would think still fantasizing about an ex would be a problem.....
 Viho
Joined: 9/22/2008
Msg: 15
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Posted: 12/21/2008 11:05:12 PM
ok... prurire.... what if they weren't found that way..... what if your boyfriend just said hey... look what I have.... it would be ok????


If your boyfriend said that its because his not happy in a relationship or there's something wrong that you doing.Because no one in is good mind going to show his ex naked pictures to his wife.
 prurire
Joined: 5/3/2008
Msg: 16
Pictures of Previous Sexual Encounters......
Posted: 12/21/2008 11:07:32 PM
Haha, it would be okay with me. I'm going to make a leap here and say if it was shown to me in such a manner it would be because I asked. I have yet to date a guy, casually or seriously, that needed to show off just for the sake of it.

Living in the present can also be about sharing pasts. It can even be a fun and sexy way to learn about what your partner likes and dislikes. Of course, if one is insecure in either themselves or the relationship it could be something that ate away at them... and again, that is not someone I would be attracted to or want to be in a relationship with.
 BigDaddyJinx
Joined: 11/4/2006
Msg: 17
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Posted: 12/21/2008 11:11:28 PM

but I Have always trusted that my partner would never do anything that would disrespect me.... I know that everyone has a past..... and the expectation for me is that he isn't reliving it from videos....

Like I said, if she (or he) was flashing it around to me and others, or putting on their desktop wallpaper, or painted murals or lifesize standees of the vid/pic...that's a line that got crossed. Keep your private life PRIVATE. To do otherwise runs the risk of yes, you guessed it, disrespecting someone.

However, what you also mentioned about reliving past glory...a pic or a vid is merely a physical representation of a mental image/memory. To think that your mate is NOT or has NOT thought about his or her past glory is fallacy at its finest. They ALL do. We ALL do. The pic/vid would be just a physical representation of something we ALL already do. Still not enough reason to get one's knickers in a twist.

JMO.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 18
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Posted: 12/21/2008 11:12:54 PM
Okay, keeping naked picture and sex videos on your phone, for what, sped dial masturbation? Just EEWWWWW! If I thought I was on a ex's phone I'd be mortified. I know, to each his own but really...eewwwww!
 gottalight
Joined: 12/15/2005
Msg: 19
Pictures of Previous Sexual Encounters......
Posted: 12/21/2008 11:36:26 PM
I suppose preemptive Murphy's Law might be applicable to the phone breakage. The buttons were going to get sticky anyway.

I heard of this one guy who made lot's of money by snapping naked photos of his girlfriends, and then built a magazine around the pictures. It might just be an urban legend. Some people say that it objectifies women, but I suppose their are so many other psychological problems in today's society, it is just one more, and the public usually votes with their wallets. Services don't sell very well if they don't fill a need. There are so many other forms of abuse to tackle, I think of that one as small potatoes.

I don't know about keeping actual sex acts. I know I wouldn't keep them.

I like Pruries comment:


Acceptable in a relationship is defined by the two people in one. It doesn't matter what the general consensus is.


Most people find snooping and destroying personal property to be unacceptable.
 Pair O Docs
Joined: 10/20/2008
Msg: 20
Pictures of Previous Sexual Encounters......
Posted: 12/21/2008 11:43:43 PM
(and in walks ole stodgy, backward ass, judgmental BUZZKILL of a guy who is going to completely throw a cog into every man's supposed RIGHT to archive all of his prior conquests.....)

You know...I realize that I'm on a site in which the vast majority of people on here live their lives by having 'intimate encounters' or month to month......'relationships'...yeah...that's the word....'relationships', in which they switch sexual partners faster than a passenger in a new york subway station, but I'm actually on the side of the woman. She might have supposedly 'snooped'. But that doesn't mean that she isn't entitled to know the CHARACTER of the man she is with if she's wanting something 'long term'.

As a guy who has had only four long term relationships in his life, who hasn't had any short term stops in between to 'tie me over' until somebody worthy comes along.....the LAST thing I ever want to see is a photo album of the guys SHE chose to hold her over until I came along. I'm also not in the mood to hear somewhere down the pike of her 'crazy, crazy days when she was in a PHASE'.......I want a woman, whom I want to know in that regard, RESPECTED herself before she got to ME. And I think it's safe to say that most women looking for 'long term' in a guy don't need to be slammed with the guys archives of all the hos he had before he got to her.

To this day,I still don't have a picture ONE of any of the women I was with in various 'compromising positions'. That's because I always believed what was between a man and a woman should STAY between a man and a woman. Besides.......if I can't remember every minute detail of the women I was with before merely in my MIND (and I do), then something is very wrong. The only reason I would need something like that around is to 'show it to my equally perverted friends who have NO RESPECT for the sanctity of sex between a man and a woman' as some sort of trophy contest to see who did better.........

OP....I don't blame her for being upset......
 Carrie Bradshaw™
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 21
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Posted: 12/21/2008 11:47:47 PM
I think it is very unspiffy and kind of creepy. As you stated, it is one thing to have vacation pics of you and your ex tucked somewhere in a box for memory sake but to have sex photos of you and half your ex's on your phone still. That to me implies he wants easy access to them and what for? to get his rocks off? Blackmail? Do you women even know he took the photos?

The photos he should not have kept and if he did, why the frak are they on the phone?

As for me, I do not snoop on purpose but if something just happens to fall into my lap, what am I suppose to do? There is a reason I walk lightly...:)

~Carrie
 Frau Blücher
Joined: 8/27/2006
Msg: 22
Pictures of Previous Sexual Encounters......
Posted: 12/22/2008 12:04:54 AM
I don’t care if my man has pictures of past loves or exes, but naked pictures, or snaps of them together in compromising positions----no freakin’ way. There is ONLY one reason to keep and view these types of photos-titillation. I would also seriously question the character of a man who would carry such photographs on his person. Is this something he shares with his drinkin’ buddies? Does he like to keep lewd photos handy for some self-handiwork? *Shudder*
 ~SparklingRose~
Joined: 10/20/2008
Msg: 23
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Posted: 12/22/2008 1:41:00 AM

Carrie~ : ...it is one thing to have vacation pics of you and your ex tucked somewhere in a box for memory sake but to have sex photos of you and half your ex's on your phone still. That to me implies he wants easy access to them and what for? to get his rocks off? Blackmail? Do you women even know he took the photos?

That last line: I wondered the same thing... Was it consensual? ... Even: Did he upload them to the net, God knows where? etc..... Bleehhhhh...

Yep... it all flies like a lead balloon for me too, OP. Even the snooping. ( but, daaang )

Iceman: too funny! ... I agree with it though!

I understand she must of snapped in rage, but she shouldn't have destroyed the phone... should even replace it; although I wouldn't bet two cents that she will. LOL
 gottalight
Joined: 12/15/2005
Msg: 24
Pictures of Previous Sexual Encounters......
Posted: 12/22/2008 2:09:40 AM

hat last line: I wondered the same thing... Was it consensual? ... Even: Did he upload them to the net, God knows where?


D'oh! I just slapped myself on the forehead.

Was this a camera phone? Now I think I know why it was broken. If she found pictures of herself, she should have saved the evidence for......

I can see the sickness if there was no consent.
 ~SparklingRose~
Joined: 10/20/2008
Msg: 25
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Posted: 12/22/2008 2:23:20 AM
Gottalight ^^^

Well, shoot... don't know! LOL (dang ass u ming thing)

She does say cell phone, although could be non-camera type, snapped it all from a different source, and sent them to his phone.... ? Even so... he could still be uploading... For all we know, it coulda been his ex's phone.... (yep, more ass u ming )

Still... just all doesn't bode well to me, which ever way it went.

Just plain Bleh!
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