Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Guy  > Boss/supervisor attracted to the new employee...      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 girlygirlforyou
Joined: 3/23/2007
Msg: 1
Boss/supervisor attracted to the new employee...Page 1 of 1    
I am a fairly new supervisor of a new employee who was recently hired by our company. He's the same age as I am (30's) and after getting more acquainted with him over the past few weeks realize we have a great deal in common etc. Recently, we were at a company Christmas party and we we were all laughing and joking. After a period of time, he made a joke with sexual overtones (sexual innuendo about masturbation) and smiled at me with this coy expression on his face. I was caught off guard and just laughed along with everyone else.

Here's the dilemna ...I find myself to be very attracted to him but I know that, as his supervisor, I should keep work and personal life separate. I get the sense that he is attracted to me as welll and it's starting to feel a little awkward. I'm wondering if any of the guys were in a similiar situation with a new female employee and how they handled it?
 Jim978
Joined: 7/15/2008
Msg: 2
Boss/supervisor attracted to the new employee...
Posted: 12/27/2008 11:07:02 AM
Been there. Luckily, it never went beyond a little harmless flirting mostly because I made it clear that there wasn't going to be anything more (even if it killed me! lol). Many people will tell you that dating the boss or subordinate can work but IMO, you just open yourself up to more problems than I'd ever want to deal with. Even if you and he can keep things separate you'd also have to deal with other co-workers/subordinates who may try to use your relationship against you (or him) if they become aware of it.
 eyes_never_lie
Joined: 8/30/2008
Msg: 3
Boss/supervisor attracted to the new employee...
Posted: 12/27/2008 11:11:37 AM
^^^^ I agree with the above poster.

As the old saying goes for guys: "Don't be dipping your pen in company ink."

I think that sums it up clearly. Even if the chance of a great relationship is there.
I guess the alternative is that you could always quit your job and then pursue the new found interest?

**Edit** I had another idea! You could fire him, then have make up sex! No?
 forallintents
Joined: 12/16/2008
Msg: 4
Boss/supervisor attracted to the new employee...
Posted: 12/27/2008 11:47:51 AM
If I am the new employee, it's OK, but otherwise it's a bad idea.

There are lots of threads in this forum asking the same exact thing from slightly different angles.

"Is it OK to do what I know is wrong anyway, since I am me and not someone else?"
 KarmaSuitsYa
Joined: 2/4/2007
Msg: 5
Boss/supervisor attracted to the new employee...
Posted: 12/27/2008 11:51:31 AM
Woulda, coulda, shoulda...

Life's too short. If you like him, and he likes you then go for it. Nothing wrong with a bit of fun. Just don't let it interfere with your work life eh? There's no reason why two grown adults can't keep it real is there?
 maxxoccupancy
Joined: 2/5/2007
Msg: 6
view profile
History
Boss/supervisor attracted to the new employee...
Posted: 12/27/2008 12:13:51 PM
To me, true love is more important than work... of course, in my line of work, you can always leave one ship for another, so no big deal.

The principle is that you don't mix business with pleasure. If you two develop something between you, the consequence is that you now have to turn it all off for 40 hours a week.

The worst are relationships with married bosses who are having an affair with one of your coworkers. When the wife/husband comes by, you're expected to act like nothing is going on. When you refuse to lie for them, you are the one on the s***-list. I have to lie and not even get sex out of it? Do I have to be complicit with adultery?
 lsmatrix
Joined: 11/11/2008
Msg: 7
Boss/supervisor attracted to the new employee...
Posted: 12/27/2008 12:30:54 PM
If you are gonna pull something like this you better make sure the person is into you, it would be ashame if you pulled something and that person wasn't.. :/
 WhiteWaterRogue
Joined: 4/3/2007
Msg: 8
Boss/supervisor attracted to the new employee...
Posted: 12/27/2008 12:36:07 PM
How important is your job to you?
 DaveB951
Joined: 4/12/2008
Msg: 9
view profile
History
Boss/supervisor attracted to the new employee...
Posted: 12/27/2008 1:29:44 PM
I should keep work and personal life separate.

Your words and I could not have said it better myself.....


 Mafiachixrule
Joined: 5/4/2007
Msg: 10
Boss/supervisor attracted to the new employee...
Posted: 12/27/2008 1:55:59 PM
Assert professionalism OP. Dare I say~ don't let your hormones cost you the paycheck. It isn't worth it.
You have the control. If he is that damn interesting~ make HIM get another job.

Be the boss without fail.
 scorpiomover
Joined: 4/19/2007
Msg: 11
view profile
History
Boss/supervisor attracted to the new employee...
Posted: 12/27/2008 2:12:28 PM
What happens when the relationship ends? Could you stand it working with an ex, and telling him what to do? Could an ex of yours not mind being told what to do by you?
Why do you think that it is worth risking your job? Is it that hard for you to meet someone else?

Doctors have this problem with patients. They can date their EX-patients. So either get a new job, or find someone else to date.
 sing625
Joined: 11/28/2008
Msg: 12
Boss/supervisor attracted to the new employee...
Posted: 12/27/2008 2:47:09 PM
yes my bother went through it. however they had a policy that you do'nt date people that work for you. he did so anyway. his boss found out and said he could'nt do it. he said that you ca'nt tell me what to do with my time and whom i do it with. his boss said then i will have to fire you. my brother said go right ahead and i will be in your chair very soon because it's against the law. he married the girl.
 fun_tall
Joined: 11/3/2005
Msg: 13
Boss/supervisor attracted to the new employee...
Posted: 12/27/2008 5:26:51 PM
Another question, no different than the one's being posted in here regularly - just with a different set of words! Kinda boring reading these now but..........if at 34 you don't know what to do and how to differentate between work and play...........then....sigh!!! Weren't you ever told NEVER to mix business with pleasure?

Another one bites the dust.....
 guitarguy10
Joined: 11/24/2008
Msg: 14
Boss/supervisor attracted to the new employee...
Posted: 12/27/2008 5:56:43 PM
Don't shit where you eat. And if you do, don't tell anyone about it that also eats at the same table..
 dickwaad
Joined: 12/15/2008
Msg: 15
Boss/supervisor attracted to the new employee...
Posted: 12/27/2008 6:28:34 PM
I owned a restaurant back when i was 24 years old, and i took the verginity of a 20 year old waitress who worked for me right on my office floor. We dated for 2 years after that.
Where am i going with this you ask? well i'm not sure.
Oh yeah!

You're the boss so who cares, just do it!
 NJBubble
Joined: 11/28/2008
Msg: 16
Boss/supervisor attracted to the new employee...
Posted: 12/27/2008 7:47:52 PM
Miss this is my opinion, okay. I have worked with alot of men because of my profession. If you are not a woman that is going to continue to put out at his whim or the other guys in the office. Don't even start doing it.

It will give you a bad reputation and once that line has been crossed. The guy will feel that he can be unprofessional with you at all times. You will not only become an emotional sponge for him but you will have to do your work twice as hard.

If you cross that line you are no longer an employee at the company. It becomes personal, everything will be evaulated on a personal level. The professional blanket will be pulled from under you. It may not work out between you, or he might be some crazy whinny non-commital type. He will keep his professionalism around other employees but with you again he will be personal.

You will personally have to deal with his B.S. He might even pursue other women in the company, but you will have to keep your mouth shut. He will probably still want sex from you as well as the other women at the same time.

I have never slept with any men at my job. Most of the guys I work with are married and I use to observe the behaviour of the women who sleep around. It was a tough position to be in, just my opinion.

Something else you said that bothered me. The man made a sexual comment to you. Think about it, sweetheart. That's a big No. If you were smart, you would go in there with a tape recorder. It sounds fishy to me. He is probably looking to get laid.



I
 NJBubble
Joined: 11/28/2008
Msg: 17
Boss/supervisor attracted to the new employee...
Posted: 12/28/2008 9:40:00 AM
Listen Piscecoda! She asked my opinion I gave it to her. The owners might even look at her as a liablity if and when this information gets out. The fact is, she likes the guy and it's clear from his gestures to her, he is interested in sex. She is asking for a double whammy!

Yes, I said sleep around. She starts with one guy and a year later maybe another. It builds a reputation for a man or woman. It is better just to not go there at all. People have long memories and this type of situation might even follow her to the next job.

There is always water cooler banter about the new person, where they've worked and who knows them from the old company.

I would not do it, plain and simple.
 NJBubble
Joined: 11/28/2008
Msg: 18
Boss/supervisor attracted to the new employee...
Posted: 12/28/2008 10:16:27 AM
P{iscecoda seeing that you look around 40, you should understand where Im coming from.
 big_teddie_bear
Joined: 9/19/2007
Msg: 19
Boss/supervisor attracted to the new employee...
Posted: 12/28/2008 10:33:52 AM
I am a Senior Manager of Human Resources. If you enjoy your job you need to have a talk with this guy and let him know it's professional at that's it. Here's why I say this because if you were to hook up and things went bad and the delima was brought to HR the first thing I'm going to do is TERMINATE your employment especially if I have a sexual harassment policy. Now I've negated the liability. Oh and by the way he can sue you which means you pay your legal fees out of pocket.

Don't mena to be blunt but in this case someone needed to be.
Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Guy  > Boss/supervisor attracted to the new employee...