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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > New Year's Resolutions:if we haven't changed by NOW, will we ever?      Home login  
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 GreenEyesBlondeHair
Joined: 11/5/2007
Msg: 1
New Year's Resolutions:if we haven't changed by NOW, will we ever?Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
By the time a person is middle aged, they are pretty much set in their ways...or are they??? Do you think making promises to yourself this time of the year is a good idea OR a waste of time?

Ok, we can always change, but should we get real & just spend our energy on self-acceptance???
 Bryan_Iso
Joined: 10/23/2006
Msg: 2
New Year's Resolutions:if we haven't changed by NOW, will we ever?
Posted: 12/27/2008 6:26:51 PM
Resolutions are just asking for trouble. Bad juju.

I similarly don't observe birthdays or anniversaries as an arbitrary line of demarcation on a calendar. I choose to observe them by recognizing some key milestone that occurred within the peoples lives, Ya know? Like the day daughter was actually comfortable driving a car rather than her 16th birthday 2 months later.

As to self acceptance... if you are happy then the question shouldn't even be in your mind. If it is in your mind then I'd say there is *something* you should be working on and perhaps a lot more seriously than just going through the motions of a resolution to deal with it.

"Argue for your limitations, and sure enough, they're yours." -Bach
 tallyover
Joined: 3/8/2008
Msg: 3
New Year's Resolutions:if we haven't changed by NOW, will we ever?
Posted: 12/27/2008 6:28:44 PM
New Years Day is a time of renewal for me. I enjoy walking in solitude along the lake shore taking time to reflect and re-focus. No major changes planned but always room for self improvement. Serious resolutions aren't my style but I find value in re-evaluating my self. Perhaps 2009 will be the year I learn to make the perfect martini.
 ankkka
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 4
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New Year's Resolutions:if we haven't changed by NOW, will we ever?
Posted: 12/27/2008 6:32:09 PM
You mean...I have to change my personality?

I'm real too... just carpe diem...no planning for tomorrow...
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 5
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New Year's Resolutions:if we haven't changed by NOW, will we ever?
Posted: 12/27/2008 6:40:58 PM
Nope g/f! No self acceptance here! That would mean I have finished growing! Of late, I have spent a lot of time with myself. Not bad company! lol
I have things in mind for the New Year darlin. Lose that nasty 15 lbs, take a couple of law courses just for interest sake. Maybe work in some sex if I can! lmao.
All in all, in other words? No way will I ever accept myself cuz as long as I live I am going to keep learning, living and loving!
Happy New Year!
 redarcangel
Joined: 1/12/2007
Msg: 6
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New Year's Resolutions:if we haven't changed by NOW, will we ever?
Posted: 12/27/2008 6:43:09 PM
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^.................................

Than you tally... that'll be ti martwoni's pleeees!



Oh.. I too take a bit of time for myself to re-cap the good.. bad.. ugly.. kind.. caring.. and loving from the year before. Then.. I file it all into the lessons learned department in my brain. I'll be doing the same this year.

I would like to just help my son get back on his feet completely this year. He's slowly been recuperating.. and.. I think helping to support him in getting a good job.. is the best thing I could do for him at this point. It's what he's setting his own sites on this year.

Other than that.. I plan to take a bit more time in looking for Mr. Right.. instead of being a bit too cavalier on finding that man of my dreams........

Good luck to all.. and have a very Happy New Year!
 Feather Sandwich
Joined: 11/1/2008
Msg: 7
New Year's Resolutions:if we haven't changed by NOW, will we ever?
Posted: 12/27/2008 6:43:22 PM
A couple of years ago, my friend & her husband set some goals to be accomplished in the new year.

Not resolutions, exactly, but things to do, partly to keep them from getting set in their ways.

For example, they resolved to spend 2 nights in 2 cities neither of them had ever been to, to mend 3 broken relationships, to spend 2 nights under the stars, & other things like that.

She said it was really hard and not something they would take on every year, but a great experience and they will do it again.

I think that's an excellent idea and a wonderful way for them grow individually and as a couple.
 MY OH MY
Joined: 10/11/2007
Msg: 8
New Year's Resolutions:if we haven't changed by NOW, will we ever?
Posted: 12/27/2008 6:58:36 PM
I think the New Year's resolutions give you a date to actually start something, to commit yourself to bettering yourself. In my case, I am planning on cutting down on drinking soda. I rarely do soda that has caffeine and figure this is the next step. I have heard that the unnatural processing of sugar can be hard on your body, and I know I don't need the extra salt. I will start doing more water and natural juice. If it doesn't work, I have only myself to blame. No one is hurt by resolutions...usually.
 forallintents
Joined: 12/16/2008
Msg: 9
New Year's Resolutions:if we haven't changed by NOW, will we ever?
Posted: 12/27/2008 7:09:09 PM
There wasn't much room for improvement to start with. I think 1981 was the last year I had anything to resolve to do better. Since then I use the occasion of the New Year to bask in an admiring retrospective, and to wonder at the luck of the wide world to have coming yet another year of me.
 Lil Brooker
Joined: 6/17/2008
Msg: 10
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New Year's Resolutions:if we haven't changed by NOW, will we ever?
Posted: 12/27/2008 7:09:23 PM
A resolution to make a positive change in your life can happen at any time of the year and at any age. Self-acceptance is not the issue when unhealthy choices are being made.
 Taking Chances81
Joined: 11/8/2008
Msg: 11
New Year's Resolutions:if we haven't changed by NOW, will we ever?
Posted: 12/27/2008 8:59:54 PM
If a person has the motivation to change, doesn't matter how old they are, the sky is the limit to what they can do. I've never understood why some individuals would choose not to better themselves, knowingly, even though it would only improve their current state. Whether the reason being due to laziness, stubbornness, defiance...whatever the reason, some make a conscious choice not to, but doesn't mean they can't or won't later. I think it's purely individualized from person to person.
 CompletelyDone
Joined: 8/12/2007
Msg: 12
New Year's Resolutions:if we haven't changed by NOW, will we ever?
Posted: 12/27/2008 9:11:04 PM
I have never been one to put much stock in making New Year's resolutions but this year I sure am... I spent 2008 doing an inner transformation and I am a very different woman than I was as 2007 turned into 2008 in many ways... In 2009, I plan to get into peak condition... I'll be a new old me by the time I'm finished. The dates don't mean much really but January 1 is as good as any time, I figger.

I think much of whether or not older people can change rests on whether or not they feel they've lived life as fully as they have wanted to... I haven't...
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 13
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New Year's Resolutions:if we haven't changed by NOW, will we ever?
Posted: 12/27/2008 9:57:11 PM
I am not chained to a calendar. Growth comes when necessary, but when there is a change in the calendar year.
 cdn*guy
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 14
New Year's Resolutions:if we haven't changed by NOW, will we ever?
Posted: 12/27/2008 11:07:39 PM
I make 'em every year -- it's become a tradition with me for the last few decades. This year, I got 11 of 16 -- a fairly productive year. I've made 8 so far for next year, with 4 days to go.

Change ?? ... I'm always changing. I have to, to keep up with the changing world around me. There's always something about me that I don't like. And I've always liked starting out the New Year with a 'plan of action'. It helps focus me and gives me personal things to conquer. I love it -- but not so much when I succeed at less than half of what I set out to do. But that doesn't happen much anymore.

Which reminds me ... I just thought of another one for my list. There's 9 for next year, now.

cdn guy
 rustytraveler
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 15
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New Year's Resolutions:if we haven't changed by NOW, will we ever?
Posted: 12/28/2008 12:42:41 AM
I'm putting the house up for sale, does that count?
 Merrylass
Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 16
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New Year's Resolutions:if we haven't changed by NOW, will we ever?
Posted: 12/28/2008 12:56:37 AM
I don't believe there ever comes a time when one ceases to require improvement. New Year's is a handy marker. I have made some changes that stuck and others that need another few whacks before they become good habits. I restart often - I'll have another go this coming New Year. I don't think it has anything to do with self-acceptance. Accepting one's imperfect self does not mean one ceases to develop!
 Brownlady1953
Joined: 12/12/2008
Msg: 17
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New Year's Resolutions:if we haven't changed by NOW, will we ever?
Posted: 12/28/2008 5:16:36 AM
Those who want to make changes in their lives, no matter how difficult, start the process when they are ready, irregardless of the date on the calendar.

Those who don't want to make changes just sit and stagnate. And we all know how something smells when it's "stagnant"........it STINKS!
 professora
Joined: 7/28/2008
Msg: 18
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New Year's Resolutions:if we haven't changed by NOW, will we ever?
Posted: 12/28/2008 5:44:39 AM
People can change at any age...if they want to change.

At 61 I received my masters in Nursing allowing me to teach at a University. The studies were so rewarding that I entered a doctorate program and love it!

I keep a list of goals. Every year or every month (depending on circumstances) I check my goal list and see how I am doing. New Year's resolutions are a nice challenge and fun to put in place.

Peppie
 sing625
Joined: 11/28/2008
Msg: 19
New Year's Resolutions:if we haven't changed by NOW, will we ever?
Posted: 12/28/2008 9:01:19 AM
i believe that you continue to learn something new every day of your life til the day you die. and if you are receptive enough to learn something about yourself. then by all means you can change for the better. my father was one of eight. and he being the youngest. now he was'nt spoiled but he tended to get his way quite often. so he was a my way or the highway kind of guy. when we four kids grew up. we did'nt always go with what he said. we loved him , but just did'nt always agree. over time my father changed. an accepted that there is more then one way to do something and it did not have to be his way. he changed and i do'nt think that he even knew it. but we all loved him even more for that.
 Kay9876
Joined: 6/28/2007
Msg: 20
New Year's Resolutions:if we haven't changed by NOW, will we ever?
Posted: 12/28/2008 9:55:44 AM
By the time a person is middle aged, they are pretty much set in their ways...or are they??? Do you think making promises to yourself this time of the year is a good idea OR a waste of time? Ok, we can always change, but should we get real & just spend our energy on self-acceptance???

Self-acceptance is necessary for intentional change. People cannot purposefully change a habit or characteristic unless they first recognize the thing to change. (For example, I accept that "x" about me is true, and I want to change that.) The more we accept about ourselves, the more we are able to see opportunities for growth. In general, the more we accept ourselves as we truly are (positive and negative), the more we like and respect ourselves enough to put energy into improving ourselves and our circumstances. In other words, self-acceptance increases the probability of keeping a resolution to change.

I don't see New Year's resolutions as making promises to myself. I think of resolutions as goals, which can be set at any time of the year. Making resolutions (goals) at the start of a new year is a nice tradition, and it's sometimes helpful to have a deadline to begin a new way of being.
 winernotreally
Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 21
New Year's Resolutions:if we haven't changed by NOW, will we ever?
Posted: 12/28/2008 10:08:14 AM
I WANT to continue to grow and change! And I'm the only one who can do that for me. To be 'set in my ways' and never have any movement (whether physical and/or mental)= STAGNANCY!
This is not the same as 'self acceptance'. That is my reality.

Having 'self acceptance' means that there are certain 'limitations' within my life. (Are you telling me I can't become an Olympic athlete?!) Though, fortunately, I do have a creative imagination, plus humor, that keeps me setting goals and dreams for myself.

Besides, shouldn't it be New Year's "Intentions", rather than "Resolutions"? Think the change in wording allows you to take the blinders off and walk a bit away from the 'beaten' path? Of course, that's just me.

Hoping everyone has a Happy, PROSPEROUS and Abundant New Year's!
 Runs With Wolves
Joined: 1/19/2006
Msg: 22
New Year's Resolutions:if we haven't changed by NOW, will we ever?
Posted: 12/28/2008 10:46:40 AM
I am a sap for rituals….because I live in a city full of diversity…recapturing a sense of self and MOVEMENT, or the idea of, is quite symbolic. I definitely have goals I need to play ‘catch-up’ with.

I think the hardest thing I have done this holiday leading up to resolutions is accepting some decisions I’ve made when it’s come to love and forgiving myself for not changing some beliefs….

I am looking forward…
…to this New Year…
 Yankee again
Joined: 1/26/2008
Msg: 23
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New Year's Resolutions:if we haven't changed by NOW, will we ever?
Posted: 12/28/2008 2:49:40 PM
I constatnly remake myself. Many people do. I make changes for me. Where my life is at this point and where I want it to go. Like a car, we need tune ups from time to time. This year the changes are radical to me. Kids have been gone over 4 years. I have made many descisions in my life concerning the care of others. I am taking a page out and taking time for me. I will be traveling a lot this year. And hopefully finding the missing part to who I am. I never knew my father and I will be meeting with his family this year for the first time in my life. I have no questions, but my curiostiy will be solved.

As I ventrure down the highway of life. I find the slow speed and shifting gears slowly agrees with me much more then when I was younger. I am enjoying the adventure. More now then when it was fast paced. I have time to stop and smell the roses.
 blonde by Design
Joined: 4/7/2006
Msg: 24
New Year's Resolutions:if we haven't changed by NOW, will we ever?
Posted: 12/28/2008 3:10:52 PM
I consider myself to be a constant work in progress.. learning, changing and growing... and ....sometimes new years resolutions are a starting point for changes in my life... and other times life events are the catalyst for the changes I make.. am I sucessful in making the changes I would like to?.. not 100 % of the time.. but I continue to try and be a better person.
 Blytzed_60
Joined: 12/7/2008
Msg: 25
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New Year's Resolutions:if we haven't changed by NOW, will we ever?
Posted: 12/28/2008 3:38:09 PM
Hi GreenEyes:

Depends on the promise!! Just be realistic. I am 60 years YOUNG and raised my 3 sons, so I never had an opportunity to "get set in my ways". LOL. The boys kept me hopping all of the time and now that they are grown and I am by myself, I have a much younger outlook on life than many my age.....which poses a problem sometimes for friends of mine.

A promise is an indication of a successful future. What do you want for a future??

Good Luck! Oh, and Happy New Year!!!
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