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 xsentricity
Joined: 6/18/2008
Msg: 1
The Perfect TimingPage 1 of 1    
I've recently met a wonderful guy on this site, and I can see it going somewhere... Heres the question, when is it right to stop replying to emails and delete my profile/change my status entirely? Should I wait until he formally asks me out or is it ok if I just change my status if things heat up? Would you guys freak if a girl did that to you, or would you take it as a sign she was ready to get more serious with you?
 shangman
Joined: 9/8/2008
Msg: 2
The Perfect Timing
Posted: 12/28/2008 2:29:19 AM
I am assuming you guys have already met. So I would definitely wait until things get serious (3 dates or more), you shouldn't jump the gun and delete the account just yet, always good to keep your options open I suppose should things go sour. Talk with him, see if hes ready to move to the next level. If its meant to be, things will flow naturally and you will know when to change your status. But I would definitely talk to him first. Never a good idea to assume anything.
 RickFury
Joined: 12/21/2008
Msg: 3
The Perfect Timing
Posted: 12/28/2008 2:39:20 AM
Congratulations on the new man in your life. It gives us all hope, but back to your question. You should go out on a few dates and see where things are leading first before you make the decision to delete your profile. When you feel that you two are a monogamous couple, then feel free to go ahead and delete it. Again, congratulations!
 Thunderer1973
Joined: 11/26/2008
Msg: 4
The Perfect Timing
Posted: 12/28/2008 4:50:58 AM
It sounds like you definitely want to remove your profile, so I would hide it so that way no one can see it. But I would also talk to the new guy in your life and ask him what he thinks you two should do. If you're going to remove your profile, he should do the same. And vice versa.
 weezygirl
Joined: 11/15/2007
Msg: 5
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The Perfect Timing
Posted: 12/28/2008 5:06:40 AM
yes whatever you do..don't jump the gun..you may wish to remain hidden for awhile until you know for sure how things will go...i made the mistake sometime ago to delete mine and i shouldn't have even though it lasted 3 mnths..won't do that again.
 CharlieBianco
Joined: 12/2/2008
Msg: 6
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The Perfect Timing
Posted: 12/28/2008 5:44:24 AM
Original Poster - That time would be when you both would agree that it's that time. I think it's that simple. Being as how the both of you are on this website, you both have the same problem...stop it from being a problem by mutually tackling it.
 Heptone
Joined: 6/28/2007
Msg: 7
The Perfect Timing
Posted: 12/28/2008 6:21:13 AM
Exclusivity for me begins with a kiss. If you're still waiting for him to formally ask you out, I wouldn't go so far as deleting a profile just yet.
It's odd to say so, but some may even see it as a sign that you've jumped too fast if you erase a profile immediately. Then again, if you met him on this site chances are he can find this topic and is now reading my reply, which is very odd to think about -- hey, dude, how's it going? Mind if I ring her up if you don't? Just kidding. (She is very photogenic, though, for a Canadian, that is, eh?)
 surely im shirley
Joined: 6/14/2008
Msg: 8
The Perfect Timing
Posted: 12/28/2008 6:34:10 AM
I agree that you should simply hide your profile temporarily if you don't feel that you can continue responding to others at this time.
 Phantom Fish
Joined: 7/21/2008
Msg: 9
The Perfect Timing
Posted: 12/28/2008 7:16:59 AM
You could change your profile to "not looking", and continue writing people that have become friends, participating here in the forums, etc.

Keep in mind that the wonderful guy you've met may not want to move in that direction, or at least not right now. Your choices should not have the intent of his doing the same thing at the same time, unless you've spoken to each other about it.
 WhiteWaterRogue
Joined: 4/3/2007
Msg: 10
The Perfect Timing
Posted: 12/28/2008 7:45:58 AM

I've recently met a wonderful guy on this site, and I can see it going somewhere... Heres the question, when is it right to stop replying to emails and delete my profile/change my status entirely? Should I wait until he formally asks me out or is it ok if I just change my status if things heat up? Would you guys freak if a girl did that to you, or would you take it as a sign she was ready to get more serious with you?



...Should I wait until he formally asks me out ....


My interpretation of this is that you have not "met" this wonderful guy yet.

If that is true, I think you need to wait before you think you "...recently met a wonderful guy on this site, and I can see it going somewhere..."

It is ludicris to think about changing your status having never been in his physical presence. And sure, if things heat up, AFTER you are in his physical presence, then sure, think about changing your status. But think about this first. Are you changing your status to send him a signal? Are you changing it "because i date only one guy at a time" and think he must also think the same way. If you change your status at all, I suggest you do it only after you two decide, together, that you are going to see each other exclusivly.
 sing625
Joined: 11/28/2008
Msg: 11
The Perfect Timing
Posted: 12/28/2008 8:08:54 AM
first i would ask you how long you to have been together. then as long as you both are on the same page. then broach the subject of the status of both your profiles. and that could be something you both do together. just an idea.
 Silver$Surfer
Joined: 10/28/2008
Msg: 12
The Perfect Timing
Posted: 12/28/2008 8:14:37 AM
I would agree with Thunder...Hide the profile, so your able to give your undivided attention to this guy you are interested in.
Happy New Year,
AM
 Schneizel
Joined: 8/26/2008
Msg: 13
The Perfect Timing
Posted: 12/28/2008 8:59:56 AM
Don't delete it unless he deletes his or brings it up in convo.

It would be wierd if i found out that the girl i went out with a few times deleted her profile.. Especially if I asked why and she goes because I met you. I'd be like OMG, your crazy.

Now you're not really crazy, your excited and happy u met this prospect, but dont' come off as that :D.

Just keep it and change it to hang out or something
 happyrebel
Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 14
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The Perfect Timing
Posted: 12/28/2008 9:17:38 AM
Ummm...I'm with WhiteWaterRogue and Schneizel on this one. It sounds like you haven't even met him yet....or if you have, you haven't been seeing him for long. Deleting your profile before you are even a 'couple' might send him the wrong message.

I only date one at a time and when I'm actively dating one, I send a message explaining that to any new emails that I might receive. Most don't have a problem with it and appreciate the courtesy.

However, you could just change the 'dating' to 'talk/email' or something until you know for sure how its going to go. It should be a joint decision when the time comes. There's nothing worse than one of you deleting a profile only to have the other still be actively looking.

HR
 Cardia
Joined: 12/12/2008
Msg: 15
The Perfect Timing
Posted: 12/28/2008 12:10:48 PM

I am very independent, and the last thing I need is a second mother to tell me what to do, my own did that just fine when I was 12. I am quite capable of taking care of myself, and do not need a man to do that for me.


Cut off all contact with other friends you made on this site and remove your profile immediately. Nothing says "independent", or for that matter "stable", like letting your life drop as soon as you get butterflies to the stomach.
 DefenseEngineer
Joined: 12/7/2007
Msg: 16
The Perfect Timing
Posted: 12/28/2008 1:38:27 PM
After a successful third date.
 Mafiachixrule
Joined: 5/4/2007
Msg: 17
The Perfect Timing
Posted: 12/28/2008 1:44:28 PM
IMO~ DO NOT delete your profile. Unless it's been mutually discussed.
This is a tough one. I guess it all depends on how comfortable you both are with giving and/or receiving freedom and trust. Being loyal to each other. It's a free site and the forums can be entertaining. I'm not seeing the issue unless it becomes obvious someone isn't being truthful.

Unless you are advertising as looking for men or interested in dating. YMMV. Be a straight shooter and communicate with him OP.
 jdawg4876
Joined: 8/22/2008
Msg: 18
The Perfect Timing
Posted: 12/28/2008 1:45:16 PM
lol at Cardia. I remember when I went on a couple of dates with a girl maybe 2 dates, nothing serious and she got upset that I didnt take my profile down.
 Chiwrtr72
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 19
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The Perfect Timing
Posted: 12/28/2008 8:22:29 PM
I'd wait until you've met and gone on at least two dates. If you want, perhaps change your profile to Friends right now...
 jomcgr
Joined: 11/29/2008
Msg: 20
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The Perfect Timing
Posted: 12/28/2008 10:23:21 PM
It's a nice gesture of sincerity. But it's also like a test, right? You want to see how he'll react to the news.

Tests are good and tests are scary. They're good because you find out, and scary because you don't want to find out. Take the freakin test. Hide your profile and tell him you did and that you did because you have expectations. Judge his reaction. Based on the results of this test, decide what to do next - now that you're informed.

There's nothing wrong in knowing things.

Best luck!
 Ralleac
Joined: 5/17/2008
Msg: 21
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The Perfect Timing
Posted: 12/28/2008 11:49:07 PM
There's no rush. Hide it if you feel like it. Change the status when it's official.


My interpretation of this is that you have not "met" this wonderful guy yet.


Formally asking someone "out" usually implies asking them to be in a relationship, or something along those lines. Given the context, that is probably what she meant. I would hope they've already met if she's considering that possibility.
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