| Dealing with Fetal Death
Posted: 12/31/2008 4:44:38 AM | I am sure I am not the only one that as delt with this issue. How would you or did you deal with the loss. Either by miscarriage, still born or unpreventable abortion.
I was pregnant only once, due to extensive heart problems I could not carry the baby to term. I am sure there are other own out there that are dealing with the same thing. How did you cope?
I am sure there are men out there that are going through this with their SO. Does it hit the man just as hard?
Do you think it is harder to lose a child in the fetal stage and wonder what their life could be. Or losing a child after birth?
This are things I am curious about.
I did not take it very well. I had MAJOR post-pardon depression that I did not get out of for about 8 months after the loss of the baby. I am cooping with it better now, sometimes I get weepy when I hear someone just had an abortion because they wanted one.
 Julya | |
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| Dealing with Fetal Death
Posted: 12/31/2008 5:37:33 AM | I don't believe in abortion but in your case of heart problems this is something I can sympathize with. You have the right to your life too and no one expect you to let yourself die . I know it must of been tough but it was either that you die , the baby dies or you both die. In this case your choice to abort the baby was the only choice you had. In all likelihood you would of died before the baby could of survived on it's own and you deserve to live too.
Like you I have heart problems and can never carry a child. So you see why I can sympathize with you. Take care of yourself.   | |
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| Dealing with Fetal Death
Posted: 12/31/2008 6:27:58 AM | The greater your emotional connection to the loss, the more you feel it...
My wife had a miscarriage at 3 months several years ago. We had spent 3 months thinking of baby names, how to decorate the room, imagining our lives with a new baby. We were pretty wrapped up in it so when she miscarried it hit us pretty hard.
I would say it hit her harder because it was her body that miscarried the fetus. Not trying to blame her, it wasn't her fault, she was taking care of herself. I'm just saying that in addition to grieving the loss, she also felt a certain amount of guilt that I did not have to deal with.
Likewise in your case, it is not your fault, the health issue forced the decision. I'm glad you are coping better. I hope you continue to do well. | |
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| Dealing with Fetal Death
Posted: 12/31/2008 6:41:28 AM | Julya13,
I really feel for your loss! Knowing there is a child growing inside you is such a precious feeling, and to have to deal with the loss because of your medical condition is like a double whammy! However, I lost a 2 1/2 year old child. So, I guess it's hard to say. I had that precious time with my son that can never be taken away and I'll always have my memories of him. There are days I've wondered if it would have been less painful to lose him while I had been pregnant, but then I wouldn't have my memories. Oh, and by the way, you still wonder how things might have been. Don't give up hope. There are other alternatives like adoption or foster care. Just because your body is not able to carry a child does not mean that you can't have one to love. | |
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| Dealing with Fetal Death
Posted: 12/31/2008 7:24:02 AM | Hambone...I carried until the day before my 3 months. So I know exactly what you are talking about. We thought it was going to be a boy. We were certain, we named it even though we didn't have him/her. If it was a boy we were going to name him Chevelle Reign, and then we figured it would work for both a boy or a girl. We didn't want him to go without a name.
Julya | |
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