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| Liars, cheaters and teasers are alive and well on POF
Posted: 1/1/2009 5:26:56 AM |  I joined POF for one reason and one reason only, to search for a "single" man who is interested in dating. After all this is a dating site, isn't it? I know it's free but that does not give anyone the right to lie, cheat or tease?
For those of you who need an explanation, and I doubt many of you do, I'll explain.
Liars - People who misrepresent themselves on their profile. "I care what's on the inside, looks do not matter to me" is almost always a lie. You know you look at the profile pictures and choose the pretty/handsome people. Why? Because you lied.
Cheaters - Married or already involved users. Not much explanation needed here, just some advice....get a hobby or better yet, get a life!!!
Teasers - You search the profiles, choose a victim and send them a message. The emailing begins and you chat back and forth, soon you IM that person, next you say, "Let's talk on the phone". The conversation is usually quite long and ends with plans to meet. Then it happens. He/she is too busy or going out of town right now but they really would like to meet you "sometime". Well sometimes they do but most times you never hear from them again. Funny thing is they know we can see that they are still on line.
Before I end I want to apologize to all you POFers who are serious and not guilty of these dating site sins. This ranting of mine was not meant for you. I wish you all the best in finding whomever you are searching for and encourage you to never give up. I may be naive but I still believe that the good will out weigh the bad. At least I hope so. Tell me...what are your thoughts? | |
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| Liars, cheaters and teasers are alive and well on POF
Posted: 1/1/2009 1:17:13 PM | Is this a "Poor me" thread?
I object your honor!
Liars - People who misrepresent themselves on their profile. "I care what's on the inside, looks do not matter to me" is almost always a lie. You know you look at the profile pictures and choose the pretty/handsome people. Why? Because you lied.
So when I do actually live up to the "I care what's on the inside, looks do not matter to me" Ok yeah it is a lie. If you look like you joined the circus with all the makeup painted on with a paintsprayer, or enough piercings to make Pinhead from the He!!raiser movies jealous, then looks matter.
Ummmm............Teasers do show up in the form of both genders, since I don't look for males and have females do that to me.
Too many uptight people these days. | |
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| Liars, cheaters and teasers are alive and well on POF
Posted: 1/2/2009 4:21:45 PM | Sure it's a ROYAL pain in the arse to sort out these people and their stuff,
still, not everyone lies, and not everyone is running as scared as the people
you're talking about.
--- And that's what it is, think about it;
If the emails and IMs were good, and the conversation wasn't forced,
then WTF is happened with meeting in Reality?
Think about it:
Either you are fooling yourself about how well you got along in the "prelims",
---- or ------
They are insecure, afraid you will reject them, so they waffle about meeting.
All you can do is keep your chin up, and keep on keeping' on.
It's a numbers game, go out with enough people and one of the will be right.
It might take 10, or 20, or 30 dates w/different people, who knows? Then again, it could be Bachelor #3.
You throw enough spaghetti up against the wall, some of it will stick.
.:peace: | |
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| Liars, cheaters and teasers are alive and well on POF
Posted: 1/3/2009 1:55:37 AM | Hey Rick! I love your analogy with the spaghetti
Thanks for not thinking I posted this as a "poor me", I have had a great time playing around on POF. In fact, I have had many very nice dates and made some "REAL" friends.
I'm going to keep on keeping on, but I'm not sure about 30 dates. Even I may give up after that
Funny...I haven't had many replies to this post, I wonder why it doesn't bother others to be lied to. What makes that acceptable behavior?  | |
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| Liars, cheaters and teasers are alive and well on POF
Posted: 1/3/2009 9:04:03 PM | I'm sorry, didn't mean to be mean with asking if this was another Poor Me thread.
But, as far as haven't had many replies to the post, it doesn't bother me to be lied to!
So they lied!
It will catch up to them. When it does I won't be around! | |
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| Liars, cheaters and teasers are alive and well on POF
Posted: 1/5/2009 3:39:54 AM | Thanks. Guess I should be more like you and not let things as small as lying bother me.
Truth is....it will never happen. Maybe a little white lie not to hurt someones feelings Other then that I'm going to remain honest.
Seems you're correct since there haven't bee too many replies, most people just don't care. | |
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| Liars, cheaters and teasers are alive and well on POF
Posted: 1/17/2009 10:55:14 PM | The wolf in Sheep's clothing comes to mind here (both men & women)
According to the fable, a hungry wolf came upon a sheep's fleece lying on the ground in a field. The wolf realized that if it wore the fleece, it would look like a sheep from a distance. That would enable the wolf to sneak up on a flock of sheep and steal a lamb for its supper, before the shepherd noticed his presence.
The wolf put on the fleece, and went off in search of a flock of sheep. It spied a flock of sheep just as the sun was setting, and approached the flock. Just as it was about to pounce on a lamb, a shepherd came by, looking for a sheep to slaughter for supper. Thinking the disguised wolf was a sheep, the shepherd quickly grabbed and killed the wolf.
An alternative version is, another wolf is sneaking around looking for a sheep for dinner, and pounces on the wolf in sheep's clothing, killing it and eating it for supper instead of a real sheep.
The intended lesson was, "Frauds and liars are always discovered, eventually, and pay for their actions accordingly." The moral is sometimes also told as "The evil doer often comes to harm through his own deceit".
That would be why I have keeping people honest as an interest on my profile!
<img src=http://www.plentyoffish.com/smiles/icon_201.gif border=0> | |
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| Liars, cheaters and teasers are alive and well on POF
Posted: 1/18/2009 4:13:38 AM | You will find that many people can't be honest with themselves...........how could you, therefore, expect them to be honest with others?
It does bother me, but many times the profile lie does not become apparent until the in person meet.
I dated a man for 6 months; it took that long to figure out he was not 'internally' the person he had appeared to be.
............and so it goes. here fishy, fishy. | |
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| Liars, cheaters and teasers are alive and well on POF
Posted: 1/19/2009 12:18:37 PM | I absolutly agree with Rick. Once burned, one can sit at home and 'curse the darkness', or pick up the pieces and get back out there. Wisdom comes with practice. Above all, don't do anything you're not comfortable with and that goes for both men and ladies.
Chemistry has to be felt by both sides. Thinking that if a guy doesn't feel it, it is easier to just fade into the woodwork rather than have 'the conversation'. Yes, it is rude, I can't defend that. But it is reality. | |
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| Liars, cheaters and teasers are alive and well on POF
Posted: 1/22/2009 3:47:37 PM |
Yes, it is rude, I can't defend that. But it is reality
I don't disagree, but would rather get a dear Jane email then the big IG........just my opinion. When I have dated someone and I did not feel the vibe, I usually sent an email and said that they were a nice person, but I did not think I was truly what they were looking for and the men were cool with it. Of course, there could always be the one that won't be. On the other hand, I dated a man who was going out of town and said he would see me on Sunday, never heard from him and I was worried something had happened. There was activity on his profile, so apparently he was alive and well. A short note or text would have been preferred. | |
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| Liars, cheaters and teasers are alive and well on POF
Posted: 3/28/2009 6:55:03 AM | Hi Justcallmelola...
I just fell upon your thread...I haven't read any forums in a while, but really wanted to respond to yours...I think it is a good thread and I am sure we have all been a victim to Liars, cheaters, and teasers on POF...
My advice is:
When I find a man who lies on his profile about anything, I move on... because if they lie about something on there...how would I believe anything that they have to say.
And the teasers/game players really crack me up...do they really think we are all still in high school playing little kid games??? LOL
And as for cheaters...can't stand cheaters...
So to sum this up...you who are quilty of any of these things on POF....shame on you for going out of your way to really hurt another human being...to all the normal sincere adults on here, just keep looking and don't give up...good luck!!
Hey, Lola...you think there might be a sight for these losers, LOL.... | |
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| Liars, cheaters and teasers are alive and well on POF
Posted: 4/7/2009 2:48:46 PM | I was dating a man from POF, almost ready to move in with him and then found out he still had an active profile on here (among other things). I confronted him on it and he said it was because he could not delete it. I have had previous profiles on here and deleted them in 2 minutes. Not only did he have the profile active and not hidden, he was on it 2-3 times a day, supposedly trying to delete it, uhuh, right. I'm sure he was emailing women, leading them on, lying about whatever.
For starters, his profile states hes not a smoker and doesn't do drugs. The truth is he is a total stoner at age 58 and nothing will change that - hes been smoking pot since he was 21. His profile also states he is single and looking to date. So either he was cheating on me or leading others on - either way, he's a loser. His photo is from 12 years ago when he was still a fireman. I wonder now what I ever saw in that jerk.
He was emailing his ex girlfriend every day, many times a day for months and I asked him to think about not having her in his life anymore now that he had me. But he said he just wanted to golf with her since they use to win so many tournaments a few years ago. The emails were not just about golf, in fact they rarely were. He told me he was "playing" her and going to get back at her for dumping him. Nice guy huh?
I don't want to control others and I don't want others manipulating or lying to me. I wish I had never met that guy and I regret having him meet my son (who is 22). I knew something was wrong when I first met him, but I listened to his words (telling me he loved me on the 3rd date) instead of listening to my heart.
I now listen with my heart and make my decisions wisely. I don't let others rush me into anything and I pay attention to the small details. It's all there for us to understand, if we listen carefully. When you spot one of the jerks, turn the other way and don't look back. They are not worth another second of your time. | |
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| Liars, cheaters and teasers are alive and well on POF
Posted: 4/8/2009 8:11:47 PM | being new to internet dating you learn the hard way that people do lie, and totally mirepresent themselves. your guy, mblady just sounds like a complete waste. I have met some ladies here also wo need to reconsider what the"average" body type is, but I am sure guys do that to. I just don't understand why someone would mis represent themself if they ever intend to meet some one. while I am at it people are way too uptight about meeting in person anymore. everyone is here to meet someone for something. just do it for goodness sake, if you don't like it don't do it again!  | |
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| Liars, cheaters and teasers are alive and well on POF
Posted: 6/3/2009 10:46:48 AM | Dear Lola,
I think I know what you feel. I have been there several times, worrying and worrying if my significant other would be cheating on me, and to every strange move he made I would question only within me - about his move, but one day I noticed what I was contemplating was a projection of my worries (fears, insecurities, everything else, but loving myself), and therefore not under my control.
Eventually my ex-husband cheated on me. Eventually, again I have been cheated, until I learned my lesson. We came naked and alone into this world, and naked and alone we will go. This is the only thing that is under our control and responsibility, and the only thing that realistically belong to us, this is only our own lives.
If we worry about cheaters, we are living someone's else lives from our worriesome perspectives, and sometimes we get so much immersed in the thrill that we forget about taking care of the most important thing of all, our well-being.
I think I found out a bit of this formula to be true: Don't worry, be happy... and hapiness will follow, most probably. It is the power of attraction, and our brains are thoughts processors, and will eventually turn into action...
Based on that, I believe in being honest with myself and making educated decisions. It will save me from the holly cheaters... said that, who cares what their motives are or are not???
Just move yourself away from the fire if you do not want to get burned... and as soon as you notice the heat or the flames or red flags... There is no such thing as staying bc of kids, what the priest said, what God and whoever said, or worse, what you project on them through fantasies and not realistic facts... only you know how it is like to feel the pain, and ask yourself, do you want to feel the pain? I think no, then go away, and do not say that is "not so easy"... bc it is harder to go this way.
The truth is easier, and it is a good shortcut to save great time and fabulous energy.
I hope my little share blink you a great light inside.
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