| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex?
Posted: 1/1/2009 2:22:16 PM | | Reading many of the threads over the last few weeks I get the impression that most women would prefer if a guy goes through the charade of acting interested in a long term relationship with them, taking them out and not broaching the subject of sex instead of saying right out that he wants to have sex with them. Is this what women really want? Why? I don't think I could lie like that whatever women say, but I'm interested in your thoughts on this. | |
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex?
Posted: 1/1/2009 2:33:15 PM | Are you seriously asking women if we want to be "played"?
Do we want a man to wait a few weeks before using us for sex and then dumping us??
Yes, I am actually asking if women prefer to be played. I'm as surprised as you are, but the point stands out in several threads I've read (e.g. the outrage expressed in response to the thread about the guy who broached the subject of sex not long after the start of communication). | |
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex?
Posted: 1/1/2009 2:43:43 PM | I guess.......we'd at least get a few dinners first!!
this woman......prefers honesty.
If you're only out for sex.....tell me that......I'll decide if that's all I want.....or not and let u know accordingly!
some women......prefer to have something to b!tch about! | |
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex?
Posted: 1/1/2009 2:44:15 PM | OP, don't be silly. Women neither want to be lied to nor to be played. Nowhere --even in the Forums-- has any woman ever said she likes to be used or played or treated like crap. Women mostly DO prefer discretion, however.
<div class="quote">Man, to woman, right way: "I am very attracted to you, and I was hoping you'd like to take our relationship to the next level." (you may paraphrase as you see fit) Kiss neck.
<div class="quote">Man to woman, wrong way no.1 : "I wanna marry you I love you so much but first let's prove our love by having sex right now on this first date-- in my car !" Kiss neck.
<div class="quote">Man, to woman, wrong way no. 2 : "I wanna fcuk, how's about it?" Grab hair.
See the difference?
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Edit: I guess I didn't read the OPost as being guys *just* wanting to have sex, I saw it as a couple out on a date. Once the date has been established, then either the guy has ALREADY lied about wanting only sex, or he *doesn't* want only sex. I'm sorry, but I just do not believe that MOST decent men want ONLY sex, they may not want long term, either, but they want a nice medium. | |
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex?
Posted: 1/1/2009 2:48:16 PM | We want the men who just want sex to go and find women who just want sex, and we want those same men to not annoy the women who are looking for longterm so they can find a man who is also looking for longterm.
If you know a woman is looking for longterm and you're not... Don't go there. Then you won't have to lie..!! Tricking a woman into thinking you want a relationship just so you can get laid is not cool. | |
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex?
Posted: 1/1/2009 2:54:50 PM | I like it when they wait at least 2 minutes after meeting before broaching the subject...
Actually, I see your point... reminds me of my kid when she's being nice to me, I know she wants something... hmmm, here's a thought - follow the logic. We're suspicious when guys are nice to us 'cuz we know they want something... and we get mad when they ask for it upfront 'cuz we don't think they've earned it yet... how 'bout you just buy it from us? Oh, wait - that was dinner?? Frig - ho's get paid better... toss in dessert... drinks too... couple after dinner mints while you're at it... cheapo - $40. for heads/$80. for tails - make it lobster...
Seriously Man, you're screwed and not getting any... you can't win for trying and we haven't even covered PMS yet.... | |
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Sushiq
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Joined: 12/28/2008
Msg: 12 | |
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex?
Posted: 1/1/2009 2:59:20 PM | CassaGo I hate to say it, but if a man is truly just looking to get laid, then he best be upfront about it (at least with me). I don't buy into all those games guys try and play. I will never truly understand why a man just can't speak his mind, shit I know I do!!!
As for OP's concerns....women do not like to get played or be lied to and I must warn those who do:
Better make sure you know how to "play" well because you can't always win and you will one day meet your match (hence the saying "can't play a player").
I honestly thought the nice thing about this site was that everyone that wanted to would be able to openly and honestly say they are "looking for an intimate encounter" =SEX!!!
However, it appears as if the majority of people on here would much rather fool themselves and attempt to fool others and say they are looking for "friends" "hang out" "dating" (get the point), but they will not openly admit that they are looking for sex!!!
I personally think there is nothing wrong with someone admitting that this is all they want, as long as they say it upfront! It is only human nature to want to have sex and who's to say that it can't turn into something more down the road???
JUST BE HONEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  | |
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex?
Posted: 1/1/2009 3:00:40 PM | | I am looking for an intimate encounter - 80% of people who contact me are married or in the dating/long term section. What does that tell you? They think we can't read, and I am definately LESS likely to entertain the idea of starting something with someone in the dating/long term area. Married, no problem. | |
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex?
Posted: 1/1/2009 3:02:40 PM |
We want the men who just want sex to go and find women who just want sex, and we want those same men to not annoy the women who are looking for longterm so they can find a man who is also looking for longterm.
If you know a woman is looking for longterm and you're not... Don't go there. Then you won't have to lie..!! Tricking a woman into thinking you want a relationship just so you can get laid is not cool.
The thing is very few women are upfront about looking for just sex so guys may try to expand the pool by broadening their search and trying their luck.
Another thing that I've noted is that women must realize that the more they reject upfront sexual advances the more men in general will lie about sex. If men think it is almost completely useless to be honest about just wanting sex (because being upfront almost always leads to rejection) many men will continue to be dishonest about what they want. They shouldn't, but many will. And yet women in general continue to automatically reject men who are upfront about wanting sex. | |
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex?
Posted: 1/1/2009 3:50:40 PM | As a human being, I want the right to make decisions based on facts, not lies so yes, I would prefer that a man who was interested in only sex with me would be honest about what he wanted. The problem is that these type of people (not gender non-specific) don't much care about much else beyond getting what they want, even if it is at the expense of another human being's feelings.
Perhaps the reason why some women might become hostile is that they want more than a romp in the hay....oh well, I guess that is a good reason to lie to people then...avoid the drama...leave that for them when they realize they just got played..... | |
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex?
Posted: 1/1/2009 3:54:01 PM | And yet women in general continue to automatically reject men who are upfront about wanting sex. Well that would be because they don't want "just" sex.. They want a relationship to have sex within, if the guy doesn't want to do that of course they are going to get rejected. A woman does have the right to decide if she wants casual sex or not. The guys who lie to her are taking that choice away. (Then some other guy who wants a relationship will reject her because she's had "too many" partners)
Can you tell me why "those men" think it's ok to lie to trick someone into thinking they want a relationship so they can get casual sex. That's a pretty selfish attitude, unfortunately there are a lot of people out there that don't give a damn as long as they are getting what they want..
And then later on they find a girl that they do want to have a ltr with and wonder why the woman has issues about trusting men!!!
And this isn't a bitter rant, i am in a very happy relationship. But we hear this happening to other women so many times. It's just wrong... | |
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex?
Posted: 1/1/2009 4:48:26 PM |
Another thing that I've noted is that women must realize that the more they reject upfront sexual advances the more men in general will lie about sex. If men think it is almost completely useless to be honest about just wanting sex (because being upfront almost always leads to rejection) many men will continue to be dishonest about what they want. They shouldn't, but many will. And yet women in general continue to automatically reject men who are upfront about wanting sex.
Please speak for yourself and not men in general!
Something I've "noted" from what you wrote is that it doesn't matter what a woman says she wants. You will lie to get what you want. So why ask the question at all?
The idea that a woman should put out just because a guy is honest about his intentions is fecking asinine.
Somewhere in some small village the people are out in search of their idiot! | |
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex?
Posted: 1/1/2009 4:48:38 PM | Oh, please, please, please, please LIE to me....you would be doing me such a big favor by lying...come on OP....honestly, you had to ask this question?
As a woman....I would want a man to be up front about it....the man has to realize though that I am gonna be just as up front and say no thank you if I am not interested in having sex with him. Honesty and sincerity are the priority in my dating life! The truth hurts less then a lie!  | |
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex?
Posted: 1/1/2009 4:51:16 PM | I think the following excerpt from the movie "When Harry Met Sally" is the quintessential answer to your question:
Harry: What? Can't a man say a woman is attractive without it being a come-on? All right, all right. Let's just say, just for the sake of argument, that it was a come-on. What do you want me to do about it? I take it back, OK? I take it back.
Sally: You can't take it back.
Harry: Why not?
Sally: Because it's already out there.
Harry: Oh jeez. What are we supposed to do? Call the cops? It's already out there!
Sally: Just let it lie, OK?
Harry: Great! Let it lie. That's my policy. (They get into the car.) That's what I always say. Let it lie. Want to spend the night in a motel? (She glares at him.) You see what I did? I didn't let it lie.
Sally: Harry -
Harry: I said I would and I didn't...I went the other way...What?
Sally: We are just going to be friends, OK?
Harry: Great, friends. It's the best thing...You realize, of course, that we can never be friends.
Sally: Why not?
Harry: What I'm saying is - and this is not a come-on in any way, shape, or form - is that men and women can't be friends, because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally: That's not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.
Harry: No, you don't.
Sally: Yes, I do.
Harry: No, you don't.
Sally: Yes, I do.
Harry: You only think you do.
Sally: You're saying I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?
Harry: No, what I'm saying is they all want to have sex with you.
Sally: They do not.
Harry: Do too.
Sally: They do not.
Harry: Do too.
Sally: How do you know?
Harry: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally: So you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive.
Harry: No, you pretty much want to nail them, too.
Sally: What if they don't want to have sex with you?
Harry: Doesn't matter, because the sex thing is already out there, so the friendship is ultimately doomed, and that is the end of the story.
Sally: Well, I guess we're not gonna be friends, then.
Harry: Guess not. | |
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex?
Posted: 1/1/2009 4:53:24 PM | | yes please lie to me so that after you are done I can feel used and lied to.. instead of being upfront and being able to make the choice to continue or not. sometimes it is what it is you know.. tell me I have 3 weeks and I will make the most of them, then if its over its over but I knew going in and wont be hateful after. | |
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex?
Posted: 1/1/2009 4:56:37 PM | Please speak for yourself and not men in general!
Something I've "noted" from what you wrote is that it doesn't matter what a woman says she wants. You will lie to get what you want. So why ask the question at all?
The idea that a woman should put out just because a guy is honest about his intentions is fecking asinine.
Somewhere in some small village the people are out in search of their idiot!
First off, you're way off base if you think I lie to get sex. I don't. It's just not me. I'm just describing what I see happening.
Second, no one said "a woman should put out just because a guy is honest about his intentions". What I said was that if enough women don't "put out" when men are honest many men will lie to get what they want. That's different. | |
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex?
Posted: 1/1/2009 6:57:46 PM | | The real problem isn't that men want women to lie. The real problem is that these men who just want sex don't like getting turned down for such, so they lie to get what they want instead of finding someone whos desires are compatible with theirs. | |
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex?
Posted: 1/1/2009 7:03:59 PM | Well it depends what wavelengths the two of you are on
if she's looking for a relationship and you string her along because you're looking for a quick screw, that's pretty bullsh*t.
if you want a quick screw, there are plenty of girls willing to provide, do the bar circuit and be merry. no need for charades or to make a mess in someone else's life. | |
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| Do women want men to lie, or to be upfront about wanting sex?
Posted: 1/1/2009 7:07:28 PM | I read OP's profile and like a lot of pictureless profiles they want the intimate encounter with minimum involvement. You should add a picture to truly say that you are honest about what you are after...
If men would be more upfront about what they define dating as.. then maybe it would cut down on the broken hearts threads by women wondering why guys poof after the first time they get laid... | |
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