| Why won't he call when he says he will?
Posted: 1/1/2009 4:20:21 PM | | I went on a first date with this guy. We had lunch, did some shopping, and then at his suggestion went out for coffee. The date ended up lasting for six hours. At the end of the date he dropped me off and gave me a hug and said that he would call me later in the week and never did. We had chatted and sent some txts back and forth. Later that night he msgd me and told me he had a great time and would like to see me again. So I made the next move and we ended up going to a movie the following Friday night. I had met him at his house and so after the movie he invited me in to watch another movie and I ended up staying the night. I slept on the couch (nothing happened) and he decided to sleep on the couch with me. The next morning he made the move and kissed me before I left, just some pecks. He said that he would call me again and never called. Since then we have exchanged messages online and txts. I sent him a msg after our last date letting him know i had a great time, was thinking of him, and wanted to see him again. He always responds to my txts and inquires about what i've been up to. I have since invited him out for coffee but to no avail. He sometimes makes comments like he is tired or just relaxing. Are there some signs I'm missing? Should I just leave him alone for a week or so? I don't want to seem to anxious because he seems to be very independent as am I, but I really want to see him again. Is it out of line for me to make the move and call him or do I just keep waiting for him? How long should I wait to call? Is it unreasonable for me to ask him on the third date in a casual way where this is going and if he is seeing other women? It is now going on two weeks since our last date. I don't want to waste my time. Pleeeese Help!! I would love to hear from anyone who can shed some light on this for me. | |
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| Why won't he call when he says he will?
Posted: 1/1/2009 4:25:04 PM | | Looks like you need to wait at this point to me. He might be seeing other women, and there is nothing wrong with that, you don't have a commitment do you? So date other guys while you wait. | |
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| Why won't he call when he says he will?
Posted: 1/1/2009 4:33:34 PM | | No we are not exclusive, but I would not mind if we were. I guess this is something I'm looking to find out if he is dating other women. Is the 3rd date an appropriate time to bring that up? | |
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| Why won't he call when he says he will?
Posted: 1/1/2009 4:42:27 PM | | The two of you have not been out in a couple of weeks, nor have you been intimate; no, its not time to bring this up, nor is it time to inquire as to whether he is dating others. This does not sound, from what I can see, very intense yet. If you bring these sorts of things up now, it could be construed negatively, and you can fill in the adjectives for that. So be patient, and don't close down other options that you can, and probably should pursue at this point. I know it sucks wanting someone, but wanting something too much can be percisely the reason you don't get it. | |
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| Why won't he call when he says he will?
Posted: 1/1/2009 4:51:25 PM | | thanks for bringing up some good points that i didn't necessarly want to hear... i think i will pursue other options. Unfortunately for me patience is not one of my dominating qualities! | |
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| Why won't he call when he says he will?
Posted: 1/1/2009 5:01:32 PM | I hate this question, there could be so many answers. Some guys play the "I don't want to look desperate, so I won't call exactly when expected", while other guys just have too many fish to deal with, while other guys hope to get the call rather than receieve, while other guys are just too shy to do so, a very small percentage may actually somehow lose the number too.
..ugh.... | |
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| Why won't he call when he says he will?
Posted: 1/1/2009 6:54:47 PM | | He doesn't call when he says he will. He hasn't agreed to go out on another date when you asked him to. He might be dating other women or he isn't that interested in you. | |
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| Why won't he call when he says he will?
Posted: 1/1/2009 6:57:53 PM | If he has an interest in you it's not a lot. He likes you but maybe not willing to put much effort into it. When a guy says he will call and doesn't he isn't feeling the relationship at a very deep level at least not one that he wants to commit to. I am sorry because it hurts when that happens and I can assure you it happens to us all.
Stop calling him, your absence will make he either chase you or will allow the relationship to die a natural death. Erase his number if need be, I do this and it helps resist the urge to call or send text messages. | |
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| Why won't he call when he says he will?
Posted: 1/1/2009 7:45:22 PM | | i think it is his turn to make the move. you have done it enough. and if he is interested then he will contact you. and if not then let it go. it should be a 50/50 should'nt it? | |
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| Why won't he call when he says he will?
Posted: 1/1/2009 7:51:31 PM | I can think of only one thing here...........the man's got a big appetite and he enjoys tasting all kinds of food. You are the burger.....his own home provides for a peanut butter sandwich and then for ice creme and coffee (cuz he could have a sweet tooth too), he likes to go places. Like honestly, how many burgers can you eat at a stretch day after day? PING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Red flag!
Here's an option - ask your gf to call him up from another number and ask him what's up! You will be surprised...... | |
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| Why won't he call when he says he will?
Posted: 1/1/2009 10:21:28 PM | Greetings, Survivorbuff22!
I was just pondering the very same question with similiar circumstances when I came across your post. I'm new to the dating scene, and things have certainly changed in the last 20+ years!
I wish I had some words of wisdom or encouragement for you. The best advice I can give you is that if he's really interested, he'll make the time to meet you for coffee or anything else that strikes your fancy.
I'd like to keep in touch with you from time-to-time, if that's okay. We can compare notes. 
Blessings,
Kelley | |
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| Why won't he call when he says he will?
Posted: 1/2/2009 1:19:24 AM | op
At some point I got tired of hanging out waiting and wondering about guys I dated much like you are doing here.... I wouldn't even try to guesstimate how many men I had a great time with that I'm still waiting to hear from. Eventually I said f-that and went on with my life by doing things alone, with my girls and dated other guys.
I generally make sure they know I'm interested and if a guy is interested in me enough he generally makes it very clear he wants a piece of my time and life. If he doesn't there is so much else going on I barely notice or care about the uninterested enough men that slip into the past. | |
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| Why won't he call when he says he will?
Posted: 1/2/2009 4:52:27 AM | | Hello, I am no expert, that is for sure, men think so different than us women do. You sound like me, I get attached, now though, I try and not have expatations, trust me, this is very difficult, this last weekend I had 2 coffee dates on the same day, one in the AM and one in the PM, both men did not call, runed my day because I have better things to be doing than waiting for someone to phone me, I was up and dressed early in the AM for the first coffee date, not even a phone call, with this perticular person this is the second time, no more, move on if you can, if you flirt with someone else it makes it easier. My second coffee date in the PM did call, but hours after the time of the date, he did say sorry and that he would call me later, he has not called, and I am not waiting for him. Different than you, you had some very intament moments with this man, so it is difficult to move on sometimes, he could be dating others, or just a player, or perhaps the closeness with you frightened him, as he is attracted to you and not ready for the things you are, we could be here all day and try and figure out the reason. In my past experiences with men, if hes not calling,hes not that into you, sorry, I know it hurts, but dont let this person hurt you any more.Try not to take it so personal, he might be out of town, or just working hard, Dating is tough love as they say.Best of luck! reply if you wish paulette | |
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| Why won't he call when he says he will?
Posted: 1/2/2009 6:03:38 AM | He's either dating other women or he is just simply being a lazyass.
Either way, both show that he is really not into you as much as you're into him. He likes you and thinks you're nice but as of now, you're not the number one woman he wants to commit to. It must feel crummy and not exactly feminine to be doing all the work here....does it?
Find a respectable gentleman that will do his share of calling and going out of his way for you. There should be no reason why you should be doing all the chasing and planning..keep this up and he will quickly grow tired of you....guaranteed. He is not worth your time. | |
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| Why won't he call when he says he will?
Posted: 1/2/2009 8:22:21 AM | Personally, I just plain ol' don't believe it when a guy says he'll call. I think to myself, "yeah, right!" and move along. That way if he DOES call, it's a nice surprise!
I've decided that it's the "new strategy" for men - to feign interest (usually, they're just DYING to meet you), wangle your number out of you, be all enthusiastic about calling you and then never do.  | |
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| Why won't he call when he says he will?
Posted: 1/2/2009 3:25:52 PM | I'm with the "he's just not that into you" crowd personally.....since from the way that "I" understand things (now granted I'm no expert by ANY means....this is FREE advice remember....& you get what you pay for sometimes!), a man is a hunter.....they don't like it if their deer just comes to them....up & shoots themselves & then lays down at their feet. Now...that having been said....if he doesn't call & he has said that he will....he won't even if you prompt him to. Since to be honest...if a guy REALLY REALLY wants something badly enough....he'll make sure that the object of his attention KNOWS it in one way shape or form.
Now, I think that it's time for you to A) lose his number.....don't call him...he'll call you kinda thing B) get your favorite indulgence to give yourself a day of rest.....C) get back up on the dating horse & start all over again.....as much as this SUCKS & I know that it does.....you can't let this ONE guy screw up your sense of well-being....and if you are truly wanting to be with that "special someone" then you have to talk to MANY special someones to get to that ONE that will be there for you!
Good luck darlin'! | |
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