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Show ALL Forums  > Single Parents  > Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?      Home login  
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 Reelax
Joined: 11/14/2008
Msg: 1
Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?Page 1 of 34    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34)
It's disturbing to me at least to see so many single mothers so young on this website and they seem perfectly content being a mother at such a young age. Maybe it's just me and my old fashioned views of having kids after say 25. What do you people think?
 Carol27
Joined: 1/25/2005
Msg: 2
Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 1/2/2009 7:59:45 AM
I don't really see what your point is. Thing is - there are just as many young single fathers out there....
 Reelax
Joined: 11/14/2008
Msg: 3
Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 1/2/2009 8:09:48 AM
My point is why are so many young women having kids at an age where they aren't fully adults yet?
 psssst
Joined: 6/4/2007
Msg: 4
Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 1/2/2009 8:15:56 AM

My point is why are so many young women having kids at an age where they aren't fully adults yet?
I was 21 when I had my daughter and by the age of 22, I was a single mother. Does that make me any less of a mother simply because of my age?

I think that it's a narrow point of view to judge someone and feel they have that right simply based on a circumstance...

At that age, I was a mature adult that was fully supporting my daughter and myself... so a few years did not make a difference in how I lived my life...

Cheers...
 Mom-to-2C
Joined: 1/14/2008
Msg: 5
Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 1/2/2009 8:18:31 AM
they had sex young... lol..


i had my son at 23 and it all depends on how mature you are. Some women are 30 and immature. All depends on how you see things and what you have lived. I am not saying 14 is ok.. no way but young adults is not that big. What counts is if she can take care of the child or not.
 TeresaP1020
Joined: 6/30/2008
Msg: 6
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Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 1/2/2009 8:21:28 AM
Nothing wrong with your old-fashioned views! If more people had them, there would be less of us supporting them. Because, let's face it, most single mothers in that age bracket do not hold full-time jobs and live off the system. Part of it is a learned behavior and what kind of morals kids grow up with. However, on the flip side of that, I was 20 when I had my first child, but things were different 20 years ago. Not everyone went to college right away. Now, every person needs to go to college in order to be able to have a career. I went back after I got divorced...and yes, I was working full-time and part-time, but I was a little older. I'm glad to say, my daughter, a mid-teen, has declared she will remain pure until she gets married and wants a purity ring to symbolize that. She and I are very close and I told her if/when she decided to have sex, hopefully it will at least be after she gets out of high school, she needed to talk to me first so that I can make sure she remembers to use protection.
 marknbaltimore
Joined: 12/10/2007
Msg: 7
Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 1/2/2009 8:27:48 AM
women have sex early on in life partly because of us men you know, it takes to tango, they are more single mothers because most guys bale on them, did u ever think of that? my ex had our daughter when she was 20 and i was 21, we obviously arent together anymore but i always supported my kid and she needs no help from the system. if more fathers would step up, less women would need the so called system!
 Jaxi_2008
Joined: 8/16/2008
Msg: 8
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Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 1/2/2009 8:34:02 AM
Actually you've contradicted yourself and gotten some facts wrong. If you truly had "old fashioned views" than you wouldn't be surprised at all at young women having babies (18-22) because it was extremely common at that age in "the old days". Having children after the age of 25 or 30 is a modern thing.......women are more prone to wait NOW then they were years ago. Most women were finished with childbearing by the age of 30, not just getting started.

The reason that they're "single mothers" is that there is far less pressure to have a "shotgun wedding" due to the birth of a child. That's all that's really changed I imagine.
 freetime2bme
Joined: 1/16/2006
Msg: 9
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Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 1/2/2009 8:50:05 AM
"My point is why are so many young women having kids at an age where they aren't fully adults yet?"

I was in the Army at 18 as were most of my friend at the time. Adult or the attitude need to be certain thing is something some people will never have and others have it in their teens. As to having kids it takes more then wanting to do the right thing for them it takes the resorces to do it and lot of men and women should not be having kids before they are ready to provide for them also.
 cleansed 2.0
Joined: 6/28/2008
Msg: 10
Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 1/2/2009 8:51:28 AM
No offence but "it takes two to make a baby" and the " he should have kept it in his pants thing" is getting very tired as an excuse to actually bring children into this world when you are really unprepared. We know that sex could result in a child and unless you screw around with your BC methods that no BC is 100 % effective but after talking with my sister this morning over coffee, my opinion is even more affirmed.
She is the head administrative asst. of a small catholic school and because of her nature many of the young kids seem to go to her when they need a little help or advice.
Most times it is about the fact they were late and they weren't fed breakfast and are very hungry.
What she hears alot of is mom wouldn't wake up or there nothing in the fridge or cupboard to even muster a breaky or a bag lunch.
Sure you could argue that the men who buggered off should be there but how many times does it take to get it that there are many men like that?
See men because of the fact that they can't get pregnant can in no way be able to really fathom what it means to be in the family way and alone but you do have options as a woman.
Sure there are emotional reprocussions from having abortions or giving children up for adoption but how is that any better or worse then not being able to feed that child you couldn't muster the strength to make a tough decision to not carry that child to full term.
For a school of 150 kids to have even a handfull of them not properly dressed or fed decently does in no way justify not exercising that tough decision.
A little cold you could say but come on, if you are not ready you are not ready yet when the topic of either option of abortion or adoption is mentioned there is this emotional justification that you think you are making the right choice to have those children.
These are tough economic times we are in so where is the compassion that women are supposed to naturally have when faced with those moments?

For some reason Old Yeller comes to mind and it was a man who shot the dog in the end because it was the right and humane thing to do. Maybe a bad analogy but to struggle and have a child suffer through a life of poverty and the missing of the guidance of a decent father ( yes there are some) seems to be more cruel.
 justmeandmax
Joined: 6/4/2007
Msg: 11
Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 1/2/2009 9:08:12 AM
Oldfashioned values? Well Mom was 23 when she had my brother and almost 27 when she had me. She didn't have anymore because she did it right the second time. JK

I think the reason for more single moms in your age range is because of sex in the media being such a prevalent "source of entertainment". Back when I was a kid you had The Brady Bunch, The Partridge Family, The Waltons, ect. Now you can't find a prime time show that doesn't have sex, violence or a combination of the two and people wonder what happened to the morality. Well DUH!!!!
 freetime2bme
Joined: 1/16/2006
Msg: 12
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Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 1/2/2009 9:31:41 AM
http://micpohling.wordpress.com/2008/01/30/us-teenage-pregnancy-rate-birth-rate-and-abortion-rate-1972-2005/


Teen pregnancy rates are down significantly since 1972 in fact they have gone down almost every year since then. Must be all the sex and violence on TV lol. The morality police need to get the facts right.
 TeresaP1020
Joined: 6/30/2008
Msg: 13
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Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 1/2/2009 9:40:08 AM
Hey, Justmean...

Those were the "good old days", weren't they? Was a faithful viewer of those shows too. I think the raciest show we had back then was "Happy Days," and Fonzie only kissed the girls, but that was a big thing.

Guess we are showing our age.
 cleansed 2.0
Joined: 6/28/2008
Msg: 14
Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 1/2/2009 9:43:06 AM
True the rates of teen pregnancy have dropped because they actually preach safer sex while you are ther but the rates of those women rise when they leave the school system.
Maybe it's like algebra you memorized it and could repeat it for the test but it is forgotten without use and repitition (sp) and I don't think the OP was refering to teens.
 LonestarStar
Joined: 12/14/2008
Msg: 15
Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 1/2/2009 9:46:00 AM
Old fashioned views? There's nothing old-fashioned about that! Waiting to have kids until late twenties to early 40s is a purely modern thing brought on by women's desire to be career oriented.
I can't wrap my head around this actually being a real question, so I'm not going to waste my time giving a real answer.
 DreamDancer44
Joined: 10/24/2008
Msg: 16
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Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 1/2/2009 9:54:54 AM
To the above poser, I honestly don't believe those stats.
When I first entered high school there were no pregnant teens. After graduation there were quite a few of them. It's obvious if you look around that the rate has gone up significantly. Now, I do believe it MIGHT have dropped since maybe 2001. But it is still a huge problem.

OP, It is VERY alarming, I agree. But the problem with your thread is instead of saying, "why are so many 18-22 year olds single parents". You said "why are so many 18-22 year olds single MOMS". As others have said, it takes two. I'm not a parent but reading it rubbed me the wrong way too. Don't point fingers at one gender when the other is just as much at fault.

As someone else said also, nowadays many young single parents are feeding off the system as a college education is needed nowadays. When years ago a high school diploma was good enough. Today the problem is young people are selfish enough to have children when they aren't stable.

A lot of young people are ignorant enough to see nothing wrong with being a teen parent or a young single parent living with mom and dad with little education and little money.

I still hear a lot of people saying there needs to be more sex education. Adults need to stop hiding behind that. Most of those kids have had sex ed. Teens aren't stupid they know how to get pregnant and they definitely know how not to. There is something else going on in their lives to make the so troubled.
 freetime2bme
Joined: 1/16/2006
Msg: 17
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Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 1/2/2009 10:01:14 AM
"To the above poser, I honestly don't believe those stats. "


LOL do you think the earth is flat too. Google it and look the rates up. They are down, it's a fact. Crime is down too. Look up the facts, it is not hard.
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 18
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Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 1/2/2009 10:09:53 AM
^^^^Stats will be verified in numerous sources. Ever age thinks their time is worse than earlier eras when the truth is that things stay the same or tend to get a bit better in most areas. When one really goes back and examines different eras in history, we find that the Victorian era was more like that painte by Dickens than we like to remember, that the 1950s were characterized by heavy use of valium and other mind altering substances including alcohol and the kids were made a part of the collusion to keep up the front that behind those middle class homes were families without dysfuncion, which could not have been further from the truth.

Dreamdancer there were no pregnant teens because they were not allowed to attend high school and many fewer actually earned their high school diplomas as a result. It bothers me frankly that my daughter attends school with numerous pregnant kids every year but it would bother me more if the school system did not provide an opportunity for them that would truly make the system the only choice these girls have if they decide to keep their babies.

My great uncle was born in like 1890 something and "had" to marry his wife. Many more young women are keeping their babies with the help of caring families that are no longer embarassed because their child provided proof that they engaged in premarital sex. Kids have been having kids when they were unable since the dawn of time. Men tended to stick around at least for a while when dad was standing there with a shotgun and generally, for every young single mother there is a single father or a father that has chosen to abdicate his rights and responsibilities.

It is a shame that many kids are losing their virginity at 12 or 13 but this is what happens when people want to wait until that age to actually talk to their children about sex, if they ever do. People who confuse being safe with giving their children permission when they will make the decision regardless of the consequences is a parent that doesn't really care about preventing the unwanted/unplanned pregnancy.
 DreamDancer44
Joined: 10/24/2008
Msg: 19
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Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 1/2/2009 10:12:05 AM

LOL do you think the earth is flat too. Google it and look the rates up. They are down, it's a fact. Crime is down too. Look up the facts, it is not hard.


LOL, seems you believe it's flat considering you're gullible enough to believe everything you read. It is not a fact. YOu can google pigs lying, you'll find a site that says it exists.
 DreamDancer44
Joined: 10/24/2008
Msg: 20
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Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 1/2/2009 10:25:20 AM

Dreamdancer there were no pregnant teens because they were not allowed to attend high school and many fewer actually earned their high school diplomas as a result.


I am not from that time, there were no pregnant teens at my inner city high populated high school because it wasn't a "popular" thing to do. It's like what was said in dangerous minds. One teen gets pregnant then another, it's like an epidemic. It becomes a trend. Pregnant teens back hen were sent away to other schools. So many did receive their high school diplomas.


My great uncle was born in like 1890 something and "had" to marry his wife. Many more young women are keeping their babies with the help of caring families that are no longer embarassed because their child provided proof that they engaged in premarital sex. Kids have been having kids when they were unable since the dawn of time. Men tended to stick around at least for a while when dad was standing there with a shotgun and generally, for every young single mother there is a single father or a father that has chosen to abdicate his rights and responsibilities.

Those are two other problems Kids can't make the responsible decision not to have sex but people think they can raise a child. Another thing is families who are excepting of their child having a child. There ARE parents out there who put their oot down and tell their child that the baby will be put up for adoption. Because they AREN'T responsible enough to care for a child. They can't even care for themselves. We live in different times. It's not about sex but the child who is being raised by a child. Because people had to get married along with the cost of living back in the day it was a completely thing to have a child at a young age hen it is today. Today most child parents are living at home, barely have a job, many except their families to care or heir children while they go off with their friends, etc, etc.


It is a shame that many kids are losing their virginity at 12 or 13 but this is what happens when people want to wait until that age to actually talk to their children about sex, if they ever do. People who confuse being safe with giving their children permission when they will make the decision regardless of the consequences is a parent that doesn't really care about preventing the unwanted/unplanned pregnancy.


I agree. I think open communication often does prevent such things as unwanted pregnancy.
 LonestarStar
Joined: 12/14/2008
Msg: 21
Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 1/2/2009 10:38:23 AM
Dream Dancer, I find it interesting that you won't believe a statement backed by statistics, but you have no problem throwing around statements backed by nothing but your limited perspective.
Not in good form.
Losers will always be losers. If someone is determined to be uneducated and live off welfare, they're going to do so at any age. In fact, the only people I know who perpetually bleed the system are well over 40...raised in your glory days.". I'm not saying that there are no young parents who do the same, but I'd rather my taxes go to someone who needs a leg-up, than someone who waited until she was 30 to have kids and can't even claim ignorance.
I also don't think you're qualified to say why young women are getting pregnant and how they were sexually educated - do you?
 DreamDancer44
Joined: 10/24/2008
Msg: 22
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Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 1/2/2009 10:42:09 AM
http://womensissues.about.com/od/datingandsex/tp/Teenpregancy.htm

I think what is being confused is teens getting pregnant as opposed to teens actually going through with the pregnancy and trying to raise the child. THAT is what is the problem is. THAT is what has increased.
In my search, it says it's on the rise again. So while "stats" show it dropped NOT from the 70's but from the early 90s. It's going back up again. If you look up individual areas of the country, it seems to be a lot different then what national stats are reporting. Localized stats that I found seem to say it's on the rise an has been.. Again, I don't always believe stats that is just what I'm finding online. Sorry, I don't have more time to sit here and debate that teen pregnancy is obviously wrong nor do I to search the web about teen pregnancy, lol. But there were enough pages that all said the same thing. Look up teen pregnancy rising so others dn't have to for you, lol.
 DreamDancer44
Joined: 10/24/2008
Msg: 23
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Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 1/2/2009 10:46:43 AM

Dream Dancer, I find it interesting that you won't believe a statement backed by statistics, but you have no problem throwing around statements backed by nothing but your limited perspective.
Not in good form.
Losers will always be losers. If someone is determined to be uneducated and live off welfare, they're going to do so at any age. In fact, the only people I know who perpetually bleed the system are well over 40...raised in your glory days.". I'm not saying that there are no young parents who do the same, but I'd rather my taxes go to someone who needs a leg-up, than someone who waited until she was 30 to have kids and can't even claim ignorance.
I also don't think you're qualified to say why young women are getting pregnant and how they were sexually educated - do you?


If you search the web you will find that depending on what site you go on, stats are different.
I never said the only people living off welfare are young parents. We are discussing young parents in this thread, not parents on welfare or parents in general. I would rather my taxes go toward someone who fell upon hard times then someone who has a child or children knowing they can't afford them.
I'm no less qualified then the next person.
 LonestarStar
Joined: 12/14/2008
Msg: 24
Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 1/2/2009 10:49:07 AM

And your posts show more and more how little you know and how much you talk.
No one can put their foot down and demand adoption. You can't force it any more than you can force abortion, and once again , I hardly think you're qualified to even endorse the idea that adoption is mire beneficial than other options.
And I KNOW you have no idea what "most" young parents do in any situation, so even using that phrase ignorant.
Why is it that people who know the least are the ones who act like experts...

And yes, you are less qualified than MANY people. You're less educated on the matter then every single parent between the ages of 18 and 22 on this forum. But people who don't know what they're talking about don't have to pretend like their limited perspective is fact.
 Golfer38
Joined: 12/17/2008
Msg: 25
Why are there so many young single mothers aged 18-22?
Posted: 1/2/2009 11:29:23 AM
Why exactly is it your business anyways. Things happen and I am sure that these people do not appreciate you looking down at them. Condoms break, birth control can fail and people are making the best of it and moving on.
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