Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Ever been asked,"Why aren't you married?"      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 NORTY01
Joined: 10/5/2008
Msg: 1
Ever been asked,"Why aren't you married?"Page 1 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
I was with some friends last nite (they're all married-to each other!) The women started asking me/grilling me on why I'm not married. I've known the men for 20 years. Have any of you good fish ever had this occur? The men just kind of sat back and chuckled (occasionally rolling their eyes.) It became uncomfortable after about an hour of my "interview." I just thought it odd that they would take such an interest in my personal life. Both of these couples have been married for 29 and 42 years respectively. How should I handle our next meeting? I see them 3-4 times a week at the beach. What say you?
 bearwoman1959
Joined: 8/25/2006
Msg: 2
Ever been asked,Why aren't you married?
Posted: 1/6/2009 12:18:29 PM
I've only been asked by my mother, LOL!! Sorry Mom, ain't happening again.
 strollinbella
Joined: 6/30/2007
Msg: 3
Ever been asked,Why aren't you married?
Posted: 1/6/2009 12:23:38 PM
I have been asked so many times that if I had a nickel for every snoopy question I would be one very rich woman. I used to tell people that I simply hadn't found the man I could see myself living with for the rest of my days, but now I simply say that it just hasn't happened yet. Truth is, if it never does, I can't say that I haven't had a complete life without it. Being single actually has a lot of positive points.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 4
view profile
History
Ever been asked,Why aren't you married?
Posted: 1/6/2009 12:25:02 PM
I say why get married and make one man miserable when you can date and
make many men miserable? The trick is to say it in a way that they can't figure
out if you're kidding or not.
 forumeow
Joined: 1/3/2008
Msg: 5
Ever been asked,Why aren't you married?
Posted: 1/6/2009 12:55:42 PM
I had one friend that used to constantly ask me that... I got tired of telling her that I didn't really have any plans for or against it, so I just started answering her with equally rude questions. The last few inquiries went something like this:

She: So why haven't you remarried?
Me: How much did you make last year?
She: Why would you ask me that?
Me: Ditto.

She: So why haven't you remarried?
Me: Do you like oral sex?
She: Why would you ask me that?
Me: Ditto.

She: So why haven't you remarried?
Me: How many abortions have you had?
She: Why would you ask me that?
Me: Ditto.

We don't hang out much any more.
 SweetSmartNSassy2
Joined: 7/17/2008
Msg: 6
Ever been asked,Why aren't you married?
Posted: 1/6/2009 1:56:51 PM
forumeow, you rock, girl! I love the answers!

yeah, I've been asked countless times why I've never married. funny, it's always the married friends who ask. jealous, maybe? when I asked that question, the quick response was "Why would I be jealous?"

well.....maybe, just maybe now, they would be jealous of my unlimited freedom, the ability to come and go as I please, not being accountable for spending any money that I earned on whatever I wanted to, being free to explore new relationships with new men and the list can go on and on.

I do, however, love forumeow's answers! I'm going to have to use that technique next time I'm so rudely asked about my marital status. isn't it interesting how single people just don't ask such probing, personal questions of their married friends? for myself, I figure why they decided to have/not have children, decided to have one child/numerous children, live in a huge/little house and other personal matters are none of my business.
 MrRational
Joined: 12/30/2008
Msg: 7
Ever been asked,Why aren't you married?
Posted: 1/6/2009 2:43:01 PM

I was with some friends last nite (they're all married-to each other!) The women started asking me/grilling me on why I'm not married... The men just kind of sat back and chuckled... I just thought it odd that they would take such an interest in my personal life. Both of these couples have been married for 29 and 42 years respectively... What say you?


Don't be surprised if the next few times you see these people that these ladies have managed to have an "extra" single and available woman there *just for you*. If it happens be good natured and positive about it.

They mean well and on occasion such things can work out very, very well. They know both of you and have some sense of what each has to offer and what each needs.
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 8
view profile
History
Ever been asked,Why aren't you married?
Posted: 1/6/2009 3:20:26 PM
There are some that think that just because we are "alone", that we certainly must be "lonely", so they think of ways to make sure that we are as happy and married as they are.......

I get asked that question quite often when at places where there are many married couples, or some of my old friends that have known me for years and years. It becomes the topic of discussion at times, and then the never ending statement of......"I know this single woman that would be perfect for you"!!!.......

To many think that just because I choose to be alone, that I am deprived of companionship, and must be very very lonely. They do not see me often enough to know that I am not lonely, even tough alone more times than I can think of, and I have made a conscious decision to remain single, even though I have had significant relationships over the years.

I see no need to be married unless I plan on raising another family, or raising the family of the one I am with, which for the most part, is not even a consideration. Now, if they want to discuss why I do not have a significant other in my life right now, that would be much more pertinent to the situation, and could lead to other discussions comparing dating to a serious relationship.

It does get comical at times when I hear thoughts on this by both genders, that know me, how "I am to nice not to be married"...... If only they knew......

Just my opinion.......
 *Sanscheyle*
Joined: 10/16/2008
Msg: 9
Ever been asked,Why aren't you married?
Posted: 1/6/2009 3:29:06 PM
I have this happen to me repeatedly from my "married friends." I think what's funny is each and every one of them at one time have pulled me aside privately and told me "Sans, you don't know how dang lucky you are to be single!!"

Maybe the women think you're too good of a catch to be single would be my guess. If it were me, next time the women start to "grill" you on the beach about whether you're married or not, I would make goo-goo eyes at the next man that walks by and say to them "Did you see the tight little a$$ on that guy?!?!"

Bet that'll shut em' up. LOL

Sans
 starstuff942
Joined: 6/26/2008
Msg: 10
Ever been asked,Why aren't you married?
Posted: 1/6/2009 4:21:52 PM
Somewhere here already had the right way to deal with it. Just ask, "Why would you ask that?" Or "Why do you want to know?" It is amazing that people would ask things like that and expect an answer.

I do wonder if it's a jealous thing. They want everyone to be like them. Someone "out of the norm" is threatening to what they believe is the "right" way to live.
 breath~
Joined: 1/13/2008
Msg: 11
Ever been asked,Why aren't you married?
Posted: 1/6/2009 4:28:13 PM

Yep.. and I say "3 strikes are supposed to put you out, aren't they"?
 spacetolet
Joined: 12/30/2008
Msg: 12
Ever been asked,Why aren't you married?
Posted: 1/6/2009 4:28:25 PM
Only by teenagers who could not believe that someone of my advanced years wasn't married with a house full of kids.
 ~charmed~
Joined: 4/9/2008
Msg: 13
Ever been asked,Why aren't you married?
Posted: 1/6/2009 4:37:39 PM
I get asked that... by my friends (who are all married) or they ask me why I don't have a boyfriend.

People mostly assume I am married or have been... these are people I have just met.

My family has stopped asking.

This past summer I was on a "girls weekend" and this discussion came up. It turned into a "Why would you want to get married?". One turned to me and said "do you think being married is some sort of club?". I answered with yes... I asked her when was the last time she invited a single woman to a dinner party... never...

I only get invited to girl weekends...

~Charmed~
 Levi501s
Joined: 6/26/2007
Msg: 14
Ever been asked,Why aren't you married?
Posted: 1/6/2009 4:44:09 PM
Good question OP.

I've had it asked of me more than I care to count and in my experience 95% of the 'askees' are married women.

My tounge-in-cheek response is:

"Why is it when a married woman sees a guy single and happy, she just can't stand it???"

My more serious response is:

"Well, I'm open to the idea. Why don't you help me find a good woman?"

just a couple thoughts I've come up with
 Fifi47
Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 15
Ever been asked,Why aren't you married?
Posted: 1/6/2009 4:55:11 PM
I have several answers "I have not found the appropriate man who appreciates the treasure that I am"

If I were to get married, then the married men who have thin, flat chested, passive wives (the opposite of me) might stop flirting with me all the time and that would be so
boring..( this seemingly always said to a thin, flat chested, passive woman)

The way married people talk, married sex is predictable, boring, and rare, I like sex to be spontaneous, exciting and plentiful.......
 Brownlady1953
Joined: 12/12/2008
Msg: 16
view profile
History
Ever been asked,Why aren't you married?
Posted: 1/6/2009 5:24:43 PM
All the time....I respond with, "I was, once, for 21 years", and the next time, if there IS a next time, I'm going to do it RIGHT!
 wdb2064
Joined: 6/7/2008
Msg: 17
Ever been asked,Why aren't you married?
Posted: 1/6/2009 5:36:37 PM
I've been asked......the answer, "I'm not willing to settle on anyone, I want the right one.".
No one asks a second time.
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 18
view profile
History
Ever been asked,Why aren't you married?
Posted: 1/6/2009 6:35:27 PM
...I've forgotten how many times I've been asked that question....I have also noticed that it's the more mature individuals that ask that particular question....it doesn't seem to matter to the younger generation.

I had to fly back home for a funeral in September and after the service everyone was invited back to the community hall for refreshments...you know how it is? Anyhow, out popped * the question* from one of my Aunties not five minutes into the conversation. "I just haven't met the right guy I guess" was my reply. And the strange thing is, the way she looked at my and patted my hand...I actually got the impression she felt sorry for me.

Why is it that so many people take for granted that if you're not married or at least in a committed relationship you're unhappy, or lonely? And they look at you like you have two heads when you tell them you're quite content with your single lifestyle?


...maeflowers
 Brownlady1953
Joined: 12/12/2008
Msg: 19
view profile
History
Ever been asked,Why aren't you married?
Posted: 1/6/2009 6:37:22 PM
Maeflowers, I was once in a "committed relationship", but then I started responding positively to the psychotropic drugs, and they released me from the institution.......
 *~*ChardyGirl*~*
Joined: 6/29/2007
Msg: 20
Ever been asked,Why aren't you married?
Posted: 1/6/2009 6:48:59 PM
Some very funny answers here............(must remember them for future reference.....)

And,isnt it 'funny' that we never ask THEM why they're MARRIED.......???

Ive said in the past that i haven't met anyone "worthy of me".........

And,other times ive just responded that ive been lucky to have avoided it........

I dont want/need a husband or marriage & have always thought this way.
But,for some obscure reason,married people just dont geddit,LOL !!

 theuncommon1
Joined: 11/27/2007
Msg: 21
Ever been asked,Why aren't you married?
Posted: 1/6/2009 7:01:41 PM
I have more people ask me why I'm divorced since I'm "such a nice person" and "any guy would be lucky to have" me...
either way... it's just an awkward question--I always wonder if they really want an answer.
 abby156
Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 22
Ever been asked,Why aren't you married?
Posted: 1/6/2009 7:10:35 PM
I have been asked that a number of times. Its really no ones business. I usually tell them my personality sucks.
 gammarey
Joined: 5/10/2008
Msg: 23
Ever been asked,Why aren't you married?
Posted: 1/6/2009 7:40:46 PM
found a forum that begs an opinion.
If you are in your 20's-30's to get your life together b4 venturing out to convince the world 'you made it'. don't let too many people know you are at home and haven't married yet. it was very popular to be branded 'homo-sexual'.
NOW....
venture out get married with the 1 you were looking for, happy then divorce. still happy cuz that is out of the way,... but looking for something younger to start over and try it again (no children still). branded "undesireable". is there something at work the '40 somethings' need to know about?
might be better to answer ......'yeah...5 times' when asked if you are married. atleast you might get a conversation out of curiosity. better than a reply.... 'read/deleted' ...or.... 'not accepting messages....'
hey dudes,...you see the stuff coming out of Canada? Looks to me that is where the party is at....whoa! the Canadian females are burying the Hens here. But they all seem to be hitting the****ails.......Looks like here in the 80's. 90 percent of the ones i like are swimming in alcohol. wrong waters for me....so is a toilet. But whose reading the fine print...nobody!. Who has time?

And found out the americans males are labeled "seppos" in Australia. 'what's that' you say...? answer: short for 'septic tank'. interpretations abound...!!
this midlife crisis stuff is for the birds. good site for venturing out for awhile,..but the results aren't paying dividends. good place to talk,....just don't say where you live. or with who.
 Ahoytheredave
Joined: 8/29/2006
Msg: 24
view profile
History
Ever been asked,Why aren't you married?
Posted: 1/6/2009 7:58:18 PM
I was asked a lot starting by the time I was 18. Most asking were older women who thought I was much older because of the job I had. When they asked why not, I told them I didn't mind the shacking up, it was the contract that got in the way. After a while, I made them try to guess my age and none ever got down to 18. The banter was fun. In my environment, there are very few available women. Still, the married women ask.
 Bright Delight 4 U
Joined: 12/29/2004
Msg: 25
view profile
History
Ever been asked,Why aren't you married?
Posted: 1/6/2009 8:18:57 PM
I ask myself that question everyday !!

The 'grilling' you got may have been to enable these ladies to 'sell' with some details about you to another lady they know now or later......
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Ever been asked,"Why aren't you married?"