| Do women in Oregon ever mail first
Posted: 1/9/2009 12:12:13 PM | I am just curious if women in this state ever send a message first. Yes, I have spoken with a few people on here, but onyl after I have initiated the contact. Do I need to have my shirt off a take a picture with my phone in order to get contacted first or what. I guess I am somewhat surprised by the lack of contact.
Correct me if I am wrong, but this is a dating/meeting website. Why bother being on here if your not truly looking for conversation.
Sure I understand that society dictates that men make the first move the majority of the time, but do any women take the lead in contacting someone? | |
|
| Do women in Oregon ever mail first
Posted: 1/9/2009 12:18:11 PM | Yes they do.
I don't have exact percentages but in my experiences most of the women I have chatted with here contacted me first. And, there is nothing special about me nor my profile.
Just got to give it some time, let em brouse. Imagine women shopping for shoes. They can go in for one pair and be there for hours. HOURS! really! and we men- we are almost as important as shoes. | |
|
| |
| Do women in Oregon ever mail first
Posted: 1/9/2009 12:38:45 PM | Yes, women on here message first quite often.
But it takes two so get out there and go to them, women just like guys like to be contacted first. It is a great compliment and gives them a choice to continue the conversation. People love choices in life! | |
|
| Do women in Oregon ever mail first
Posted: 1/9/2009 12:39:17 PM | Hey you guys don't want to bring up the shoes. I mentioned something way back in my independent women thread about women tossing men out like an old shoe. Seemed like everything I said got me in trouble.
But I like your comments. I agree with Aceman. I've probably been contacted as much as I have contacted women, or close to it. | |
|
| Do women in Oregon ever mail first
Posted: 1/9/2009 12:59:30 PM |
But it takes two so get out there and go to them, women just like guys like to be contacted first. It is a great compliment and gives them a choice to continue the conversation. People love choices in life!
I am not saying that I haven't initiated conact with people. I have done most of the contacting. I was just curious if women ever have...and it seems they have. | |
|
| Do women in Oregon ever mail first
Posted: 1/9/2009 4:33:30 PM | | Give it time. I'd say my ratio for messages to responses is 2:1 and then of that maybe a third of those stick around. But keep at it. | |
|
| Do women in Oregon ever mail first
Posted: 1/9/2009 4:45:38 PM | I have never contacted anyone first.. I think it may be my particular age.. I still feel funny about contacting the man first.. Not being willing is punishment because, at times there is a severe lack of action.
Do men really like the woman to contact first?
Peace,LS | |
|
| Do women in Oregon ever mail first
Posted: 1/9/2009 7:04:41 PM | I've probably contacted first just as many as have contacted me first. I get discouraged, because I'll send a nice note or something, and get back a one or two word email. Kinda makes me feel like the interest isn't mutual, so I don't bother anymore. I have gotten a few nice thoughtful non-emotional tard emails, where I can really tell that the person was considerably thoughtful about their wording. Those are the ones that peak my interest.
Generally, I personally appreciate the email from the guy first. | |
|
| Do women in Oregon ever mail first
Posted: 1/9/2009 7:11:09 PM | Oh, of course women email first sometimes! And sometimes men email first!
I grew up in a household with four brothers (yes I was an only girl) and it always amazes me how quickly we rush to put the genders into rolls, whether they fit or not!
The reality is that whoever makes first contact puts themselves out there and runs the risk of rejection, or simply being ignored! Wouldn't it be nice if we all took the time to send a pleasant opening email to anyone whose profile peaked our interest, and to reply to every email we receive! No matter whether we are male, female, young, old, fat, skinny, etc. etc. etc.
What a world that would be! | |
|
| Do women in Oregon ever mail first
Posted: 1/9/2009 9:23:05 PM |
Wouldn't it be nice if we all took the time to send a pleasant opening email to anyone whose profile peaked our interest, and to reply to every email we receive! No matter whether we are male, female, young, old, fat, skinny, etc. etc. etc.
that is a discussion for another topic. I wasn't going to go there, but since you did, well then. I don't understand being polite...perhaps I was just raised to reject in a politeful way, or considering I deal with rejection on a consistent basis for my career, I think a response is appreciated.
Heck I am even nice to telesales people. I understand that they are just doing a job. | |
|
| Do women in Oregon ever mail first
Posted: 1/11/2009 8:18:38 PM | | I do! Just not very often. Mostly, it's because I get quite a few messages from men, and because I do believe in responding to all of them, I tend to not have lot of time to browse and respond to appealing profiles. | |
|
| Do women in Oregon ever mail first
Posted: 1/12/2009 6:06:37 PM | Yes, I have...but not very often. I've met some friends that way because of what they have said in the forums and it prompted me to write them.
When I was first here, I did the cruise thing through the profiles. Wrote a couple. Some wrote back. Most just faded away as we had nothing really in common. There are those who have continued writing and we are now on each others fav list.
However, the fellow I am seeing wrote me first. I responded...then didn't hear from him for a couple of months. He thought I wasn't interested but decided to give it one more go....glad he did. | |
|
| Do women in Oregon ever mail first
Posted: 1/13/2009 10:29:24 AM | | I see this particular site as a interest in the forums. Profiles are slim on this site for my area - Central Oregon. On another site, there are more choices. I see it as an active tool. I put my profile out only when I see someone that catches my interest, I make contact. Almost all contacts I have received first, were turned down. | |
|
| Do women in Oregon ever mail first
Posted: 1/15/2009 6:57:04 PM | | yay, pessimist time. I've never been contacted first by someone. I prefere to only say hi to local people, (unless they commented in a forum) because locality can lead to common interests. Good Luck. | |
|
| Do women in Oregon ever mail first
Posted: 1/15/2009 10:03:12 PM | Dear Nerdy,
You have only been here for less than a month AND you are twenty fivish...give it time.
Time is of the essence. | |
|
| Do women in Oregon ever mail first
Posted: 1/16/2009 1:05:48 AM | | As soon as I read this post I saw that I had a couple...Go fig. Maybe it takes gettting out there and being seen in forums. Exactly like real life, lol. You gotta be out to be seen. | |
|
| Do women in Oregon ever mail first
Posted: 1/16/2009 8:50:11 AM | Right ON!!!
It is the BEST way for women to notice you. We rarely go out looking at profiles and then write someone. We do do it...but rarely.
It is more likely that, if you frequent the forums, women can come up with something clever to write you about besides..."uh, hi."...or "gee, you're cute"...etc. | |
|
| Do women in Oregon ever mail first
Posted: 1/16/2009 10:10:59 AM | I guess I am going to have to scan the forums and post my little fingers off.
Thank you, this was probably the best suggestion I have heard. | |
|
| Do women in Oregon ever mail first
Posted: 1/16/2009 11:43:22 AM | | I have found that some of the women who contacted me first were women whose profiles I had viewed. I know that I look at the profile of each woman who views me. So viewing women's profiles alone should get some of them to view yours and possibly contact you. | |
|
| Do women in Oregon ever mail first
Posted: 1/21/2009 4:54:59 PM | In my opinion, I think women do just as much initiation as men do. ;]
Especially, if we see them as attractive and then have lots of things in common with.
As for the rejection, I would personally reply with a polite message saying
I am not interested. It's better that way.. then to leave the other person hanging
and wondering what the heck went wrong..? =]
There's my two cents. | |
|
custis
|
Joined: 3/16/2005
Msg: 22 | |
| Do women in Oregon ever mail first
Posted: 1/23/2009 7:17:32 AM | | Whether or not women initiate contact does not concern me. Whether or not they answer if I initiate contact does. If they are not interested I would rather not get a reply than have to read a paragraph about why I do not float their boat. If someone does not answer, it is pretty clear that they are not interested. Just my opinion. | |
|
| |
| Do women in Oregon ever mail first
Posted: 1/24/2009 12:59:10 PM | Apparently they do as I seem to get quite a few. My problem is responding in a timely manner. Also how do you say "I am not interested" without hurting feelings. I was never good at this when I was younger....still seem to be a bad at it.  | |
|
| Do women in Oregon ever mail first
Posted: 1/24/2009 3:10:01 PM | | well then I need to figure out what I am doing wrong since I have hardly ever been contacted first. Any help would be appreciated. | |
|
Home
login 
