| What should I do
Posted: 1/9/2009 2:22:34 PM | | Ok here is the story I have been talking to a girl for about two months now. She has two kids witch is no problem for me i love kids. The problem I am having is i know she is intersted in me but is scared to get hurt so she is being very distant. I have asked her out two times and both times she had last minute issues that stopped us from going out. Should i give her another chance? What can i do to show her im not like 90 percent of guys that are ***holes? | |
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| What should I do
Posted: 1/9/2009 2:24:53 PM | | Tell her you are interested and would like to see her. Ask her how she feels about it. If she keeps giving you the brush off, honestly there is nothing you can do. She may not be interested, or she truthfully isn't ready for a relationship. Either way you'll have to move on to find someone who is. | |
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| What should I do
Posted: 1/9/2009 2:39:32 PM | | Beware of someone who comes out and tells you like that they're scared of getting hurt. It's the warning shot she can always fall back on. Plus, she's being distant and has canceled two dates. Step back for a second and think about things. She has you under her thumb. Get in any deeper and you're the one who's going to get hurt. You've already been talking for two months without a physical meetup. That's a big time red flag right there. You have her up on a pedestal without even knowing what she's like for real in person. Tread very carefully. | |
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| What should I do
Posted: 1/9/2009 4:19:59 PM | All you can do, is ask her to set a date when she is free and to see if she cancels that one. That way, you are giving her the time to get mentally prepared.
Although, after two months, it is a bit strange that she is still not wanting to meet. She could in all honesty be keeping you as the 'back up' while she is playing the field. | |
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| What should I do
Posted: 1/9/2009 4:25:44 PM | | There's an old saying "Don't put all your eggs in one basket." Maybe you should meet other women, don't be so available. | |
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| What should I do
Posted: 1/9/2009 4:28:58 PM | | 2 months is a long time to set and cancel plans....I think there is more to here story than just what she tells you. | |
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| What should I do
Posted: 1/9/2009 4:39:57 PM | (I don't mean this to be disrepectful) Reading your profile, you are 28 years old with a 7 year old son...You even go on to state
Im to old for high school games. ...Play games with your son and go find someone who is emotionally stable - you have your son to consider now... | |
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| What should I do
Posted: 1/9/2009 5:59:13 PM | talk to her. tell you you want to meet/go out. if she's not going to or she's going to bail again, then you need to bail. jump ship!
EDIT: i changed my mind.
MOVE ON!! NOW! | |
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| What should I do
Posted: 1/10/2009 10:06:26 AM | It would seem that after 2 months of talking with you, she'd feel comfortable enough to go have a lunch or something even less casual such as a cup of coffee. But, there's not much you can do about the trust issue and fear of being hurt.
Have you discussed this with her?
My suggestion would be that you approach the subject with her; how you feel about things and just ask her if she's willing to take a small step with you. Meaning, small steps are aligned with taking it very slowly and she needs to feel secure while taking those steps. Don't plan anything big or she might feel overwhelmed. Find out where her comfort level is. It might be just meeting and going for a half an hour walk. You will need to be patient.
If you find that she's unwilling to take the risk, then you'll have to make your own choice based on how long you're willing to wait for her to come around. | |
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| What should I do
Posted: 1/10/2009 10:52:05 AM | Of all the things I have struggled with and learned ..... you absolutely cannot change anyone or force them to act in a manner they aren't ready to act in.
I have been in this situation before and honestly I've just basically decided that ultimately if that person wants me ..then they'd be out there showing that they want me.
If I get turned down by someone twice then I let them know that I won't be asking again and that if they want to ask me then they are more than welcome to ... If I'm still available I will consider their request.
:-) | |
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