| Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/9/2009 5:27:58 PM | I'm probably too old to be on a dating site but live under the assumption, "one is as old as one feels". I feel lots younger than I am but have a hard time attracting the older men. Seems most of my emails are from much younger guys and I refuse to go out with someone younger than my children.
As men age do they just give up wanting the company of a woman? The few I've met are only interested in someone taking care of them. I've been there and done that and am ready to just have fun.
Any thoughts on this? Happy New Year.......Shirley | |
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| Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/9/2009 5:38:02 PM | | I like your attitude, Shirly! I firmly believe that older single men are single for a reason. They started out as jerks to begin with, and just got jerkier with age. That explains why they're still single! Perhaps you should go for the younger guys. I'm not saying the ones younger than your children, but someone who still likes to have fun and isn't a miserable old, self-loathing coot! | |
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| Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/9/2009 5:40:20 PM | OP I can't speak for the men, but as a senior women I have given up dating men unless I find that person extremely attractive to me, and interesting. I have seen anyone to fit that bill in quite a few years. I find it gets really boring going out on meet and greets just to realize that I as right when I thought that the emails we exchanged showed me that we wouldn't really enjoy each others company.
I am a widow of 16 years, and I started quite a few years ago to create a single lifestyle for myself that I really enjoyed, because I realize chances of meeting someone for a relationship at this point in life is slim.
Some may thing that to be a negative, but I believe in turning reality into a positive. | |
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| Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/9/2009 5:48:55 PM | "I started quite a few years ago to create a single lifestyle for myself that I really enjoyed, because I realize chances of meeting someone for a relationship at this point in life is slim."
Moraima: wouldn't you create that lifestyle for yourself in order to realize yourself? In the process you would make yourself more attractive to everyone. You wouldn't do it as Plan B because there was no hope of realizing Plan A, meeting a new Mr. Right.
OP: You're a gorgeous lady. Keep living your life for you, maybe throw in some new interests and you never know who you will attract....maybe think younger than you because I know what you mean about grumpy old men.
SARL | |
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| Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/9/2009 5:52:00 PM | Shirley, you look like a great catch for any guy. That said I don't believe older guys are giving up - no way. Far as I know they mostly keep trying as long as they can.
Probably not online though - seriously. I meet guys in their 50's - some successful blue collar business owner types - they don't know how to use a computer. Never had to learn. Up that age a bit to seventies - hell no, lots of men just don't use them. Sure some do , but not all of those "some that do" are free to date.
If I were you I would stay on here and look but not use your online experience as the yardstick for all men in your age group. Get out do activities and all that good stuff too.
PS I just re-read your profile and see you are in a small town and that dating pool is limited........on that note I a know of a widow who met a keeper while on a cruise.. There's also Vegas (if you are so inclined) etc etc. You just may meet someone in your travels OR here, with a little patience.
HG
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| Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/9/2009 5:55:46 PM |
I firmly believe that older single men are single for a reason.
Ummm... Well yeah!  And so is everyone else that is single! "Divorce", "death" and "never got married" are reasons after all...  | |
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| Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/9/2009 6:01:04 PM | All of the answers are good and I appreciate them. At 74 (just had a birthday) so many men do not take the time to find who you really are. I'm a happy person and have a ton of friends but it would be nice to be cuddled every now and then.
Some one said so many older guys could not use a computer. I guess that thought had not entered my mind but maybe that is why there are so few.
I enjoy the forums anywayjavascript:smilie(' ') | |
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| Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/9/2009 6:24:13 PM | Older men are scared of relationships. If they've been in one or two and now divorced or widowed. Keep looking you'll find the right one. We have our hopes and dreams at any age so don't give up on them.
I'm with a 58 year old well sort of, more like friends with benefits but it's cool with me. I'm 48. I'm liking the benefits very much.
I'm looking for a relationship but in the meantime having fun. My guy just got out of a relationship; on a rebound so doesn't want to get right back into one.
Patience is still a virtue.
It can happen at any age. My grandma is 85 and just started dating a man her age, they are dating and just starting out. Very happy. They are so cute together.
It's nice to know it can happen at any time, any age. | |
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| Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/9/2009 6:44:00 PM | Ms. Shirley? OP ..........You're never too old to be on a dating site!
As men age do they just give up wanting the company of a woman?
Be forwarned, most men on dating sites want to email forever! They aren't interested in meeting in person. Mostly because of their own insecurities. | |
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| Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/9/2009 6:48:05 PM | No, they're dead... Kidding.... Seriously, guys whine about the ratio of women to men online, but the reality of it is that after a certain age the ratio reverses with more women than men being available. Older men - retirement age or greater, are scarce. Ones in good health with prostate intact are even more scarce. They often do not suffer from lack of companionship.
OP maybe you should consider younger men... and to those younger men - take care of yourself, eat well, don't smoke and when you retire - you can be the "beau" of the ball.
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| Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/9/2009 6:50:12 PM | *They aren't interested in meeting in person. Mostly because of their own insecurities*
Not so sure about that, Phoebe. I heard from one older man that he wasn't interested in meeting any more women, online, because so many of them came across as self-centered and bitter. I don't think it's gender specific. There are quite a few people of all ages who don't know what they want because they have no idea who they even are.
SARL | |
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| Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/9/2009 7:03:23 PM |
I firmly believe that older single men are single for a reason. They started out as jerks to begin with, and just got jerkier with age. That explains why they're still single! Perhaps you should go for the younger guys.[/qoute]
So, better to latch onto a young jerk than an old one, but a jerk nonetheless. Cuz all men are jerks. With that enlightened approach, that's what you will find indeed, and I suspect those would be the ones here who do not bother to read your posting history. Although you are not unique. Another poster thinks that older men are afraid to commit, and another has determined that we "older men" are afraid of commitments.
I talk online with a number of women pofers. And have for months. My experience is most prefer unending emails, sometimes IM or camming. Very few seem interested in a meet. My profile, from the get-go, makes it clear that I need it to be real, and "drive-by's don't count".
There are more jerks posting on this thread than any to which the posts refer, imo.
OP, YOUR attitude seems healthy to me, and that will serve you well. If all you have attracted so far is younger "jerks", take some of the offers, see it first-hand rather than seeking or, god forbid, accepting the views of the women who have volunteered to advise you (save an evident few), and decide for yourself. If you attract younger men, roll with it, and bully for you! | |
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| Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/9/2009 7:09:45 PM | | Ms. Shirley, you look FABULOUS! You will definitely attract someone very nice. Going off topic for a moment: why do some people say they aren't in a relationship when they are friends with benefits. Is that not a relationship? It's not necessarily a "committed" one, but a relationship nonetheless. | |
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| Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/9/2009 7:10:44 PM | I didn't say ALL men were jerks, learned counselor. On the basis of your posts on this forum, I would say that YOU are a jerk, (not to mention presumptuous, condescending and a curmudgeon to boot), and YOU don't seem to like women very much. | |
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| Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/9/2009 7:24:24 PM |
I like your attitude, Shirly! I firmly believe that older single men are single for a reason. They started out as jerks to begin with, and just got jerkier with age. That explains why they're still single! Perhaps you should go for the younger guys. I'm not saying the ones younger than your children, but someone who still likes to have fun and isn't a miserable old, self-loathing coot!
I disagree Kitten, the reason we are single is we didn't want to end up with women like you. That's why i go for the younger gals. | |
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| Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/9/2009 7:37:11 PM | At the risk of being labelled ageist, the OP was talking older men - older, not 40's, 50's, or possibly even 60's.... and when I referred to her checking out younger men - I meant men in their 60's... as she said she doesn't want men the age of her children.
Edit: vvvv Forallintents - not fair... some of us still don't bash. | |
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| Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/9/2009 7:47:28 PM | I have given up meeting anyone using this kind of dating personals ad site service thing. Reading the forums here did that. Having read the thoughts of so many women I realized two things. First, animosity, antagonism and plain old dislike on the part of woman towards men generally is epidemic in my age group and above. I think if women my age could get away with it they would have all the men (but one) dig a big trench and fall into it, then pull the dirt over them and suffocate. Then the women would dance on the mass grave and forever after it would be a communal cat box for their legendary companions. That one guy they spared? He's for opening jars. Second, and this baffles me, but when I compared and cross referenced and analyzed all of the qualities women idealize, compared to the ones I have, none match. So, giving up in my case was both in deference to a trend and in recognition of my particular unsuitability. Thanks for asking. And, Happy New Year to you, too.
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| Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/9/2009 7:48:14 PM | i am sure there are miserable people of all ages, and not just confined to this site!
in my experience i have found that some people, male or female, are not all all happy unless they have something or someone to whinge about. very sad!
keep positive, there will be someone wonderful for you......i am sure. | |
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| Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/9/2009 8:01:24 PM | | I don't think they have all giving up... but perhaps found a different media to meet new people that is more favorable or comfortable. I'm not old but starting to believe there must be a better way too! LOL But will NEVER give up! Don't you either... your match is out there! | |
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| Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/9/2009 8:16:09 PM | I think you are missing my point SARL. Part of the reason I have given up is because I haven't seen anyone in several years of interest, and part is because I now prefer my single lifestyle. I won't be giving up what I had built just because a partner doesn't approve. My lifestyle certainly isn't typical of a NA women my age. I am quite used to hearing from men that figure women give up their lifestyles and take on the man's lifestyle. In my case, I have no interest what so ever in doing that.
ps There aren't too many men who would be interested in coming to the third world with me, or on animal rescue missions. None of this will I be giving up. Chances of find a man who would enjoy that are next to zero. Add the need for chemistry and zero is the final answer which is ok with me.
Both men and women can find that being part of a couple isn't all it is cracked up to be especially when they have had a good marriage, and now look around and know a good marriage isn't going to happen a second time.
"Keep looking you'll find the right one. " ................. maybe not - if people check the stats they will see the figure is about 5%. It is a shame so many people feel that they must find a mate. I hope people with enjoy life whether they are single or part of a couple, and be happy either way. | |
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| Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/9/2009 8:28:28 PM | OP, you are fabulous!!! I agree with what one person said about men in their 70's maybe not being internet savy, and that could be the problem. I doubt that they have given up...you just don't see that many on this site. Maybe you could try to get to know some people who live in retirement parks? (Even women, as they can introduce you to men) Maybe take some vacations in FL, where many can be found?
You are scaring me...if a beautiful woman like you is having trouble, what does that say for the rest of us as we get older? There ARE more available women than men as we get older, but that doesn't mean that they aren't out there...you just need to try harder to find them.
My mom was having trouble finding men her age too, when she was your age..then she retired to FL...and there they were!
Good luck..and I'm sure there is a man somewhere just looking for a woman like you!
~DC~ | |
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| Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/9/2009 10:03:03 PM | [animosity, antagonism and plain old dislike on the part of woman towards men generally is epidemic in my age group and above.]
Whoa there (Message 17) from the rest of your thread it sounds like you might be talking about yourself for those feelings and attitudes. Surely it isn't all that bad. There has to be hope and some faith that can be that one person that clicks. I have tons of hope and faith and I wish the same for you. | |
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| Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/9/2009 10:08:05 PM | | You look absolutely wonderful and have such a refreshing smile that lights up your whole face. No wonder the younger guys are hitting on you. A lot of people in the mid 60's and over either don't care for computers or don't know how to use them so your chances on any dating website are slim. The good news is go to VolunteerMatch.com and register, it is free, and they will help match you to places and things to volunteer with and it will give you a chance to meet your interests and meet new people and increase your odds. I have been a member of that volunteer site for almost five years now and love it. Check it out and best of luck to you! | |
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| Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/10/2009 12:16:22 AM | I don't think they have all given up or they wouldn't sit around and watch we women (older) doing water aerobics every week, now would they. My only question is, why do they leave when the class is over and never speak to a woman. Maybe they're just there for the free style....: ????????  Well, I too seem to draw very young men who are not afraid at all to approach. The only thing is....I prefer a seasoned man near my age give or take a few years either way. This whole thing seems a bit crazy to me or maybe I've been in my hole too long. | |
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| Have all the really older guys given up?
Posted: 1/10/2009 1:04:54 AM | | Shirley, you're the exception as most of the older girls I get to meet are more interested in guys that are the age of our children and figure that older guys are too slowed down for them. You're a refreshing girl to read about. | |
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