| "poker after dark" and my brother, "the ass"
Posted: 1/9/2009 11:43:55 PM | it's my own shit...for sure. but, there, on tv, is my brother, whupping ass on this tv show. in the final three, and doing the talk, like he is better than the other players. and,yeah, maybe he knows how to play poker, but he knows ****-all about being a brother.
i have often watched this poker show, and often seen his best friend, howard lederer, win prizes, and thought - "geez, god bless, he has talent, because, in person, he is sooo much a loser." and, now, here i am, watching it play out on tv, and looking at this stranger winning, and wondering...why is gambling and pseudo-notoriety more important than maintaining a relationship with your sibling?
any thoughts appreciated; not that i think they will make any difference... | |
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| poker after dark and my brother, the ass
Posted: 1/9/2009 11:47:32 PM | so you wanna play poker with me or with your brother???? i would say me cause strip poker with your own brother would be kinda weird. but then again in your situation of distance between the 2 of you it would feel kinda normal.
nothin like a siblings love or lack there of | |
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| poker after dark and my brother, the ass
Posted: 1/10/2009 12:15:01 AM | I can't really get this, because my brother and I like each other very much and he would never abandon me for anything, nor I with him.
But I can get how much it hurts if that happens.
I'm so sorry you're going through this. | |
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| poker after dark and my brother, the ass
Posted: 1/10/2009 12:17:50 AM | no, he lost.
and he has failed his brotherly obligation in every manner imaginable. i don't even fault him for crap that happened when we were teens, but... lots of stuff happened after that, and, with no parents, it all slid downhill. perhaps to an irretrievable level, as evidenced by the events at his wedding, in the pricey 4 seasons w/in the mandalay bay. a trip that was best avoided... | |
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| poker after dark and my brother, the ass
Posted: 1/10/2009 12:25:03 AM | Third position is not a loss, unless it was a very small tourney. I would be proud to take a third place in many of the tourneys I have played.
I am sorry you have such issues with your siblings. I don't have much difficulty with mine. We rarely see each other. | |
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| poker after dark and my brother, the ass
Posted: 1/10/2009 12:38:51 AM | wow sorry to hear that humor especially the with no parents part ( that's gotta be rough)
more than I could imagine. I do know a little about the sucky brother part though. I've got one that is in an assisted care facility and another that I support. I find that the best thing for me is when I forgive them for who they are to me and do what I need to do regardless. | |
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| poker after dark and my brother, the ass
Posted: 1/10/2009 1:02:39 AM | | There are some votes to delete this. I disagree. I think that sibling relationships are every bit as important as romantic relationships. | |
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| poker after dark and my brother, the ass
Posted: 1/10/2009 1:14:28 AM | | Understand the relationship. My sister and I share an oft-times strained relationship. I truly believe that if the other members of our family were still alive that we'd probably never see or speak to the other. But in losing our dad and our brother within years of each other, we both realized that there wasn't anyone else that could understand why we both are the way that we are, except each other. Luckily, when she had her son, the little bugger waited until it was my birthday before making his grand entrance! Bonding over things like this has strengthened our relationship, but there's a long way to go. Truly, I hope that you and your brother don't have to lose someone dear to realize that the best friend that they could have is the one that they are related to.... | |
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| poker after dark and my brother, the ass
Posted: 1/10/2009 3:53:58 AM | ...........................................................................................................................
You can't choose your family. You Can choose to free yourself of the negativity though. It's just a waste of your time, holds you back and keeps you from being fully happy.
It sucks when family aren't who we want them to be .. I do know that. I have 'siblings' .. somewhere out there. We are 'toxic' to each other so after being hurt and/or angry with each other because we just can't get along we went our separate ways. We are each others history now.
I have a few very good friends who are my Chosen Family now. We encourage and support each other and we look forward to and enjoy the time we share. Just like family's supposed to.
Not saying it was easy, but it's gotten easier. There are still times I reflect and wish things had turned out differently, however; I am much happier today. There is less stress, more peace, happiness, laughs ..
I hope you make peace with this, be it with your brother or without. Life is too short to get p'd over some guy in a TV Poker tournament .. ((I'd be happy for my siblings if I saw any of them on TV - unless it was America's Most Wanted!! lol - it isn't impossible! lol)) | |
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| poker after dark and my brother, the ass
Posted: 1/10/2009 4:04:48 AM | | Without the context of relationship one can only judge. With relationship one can understand. With compassion one can accept. I come from a very broken and dysfunctional family. While i would want to have a relationship with my family it is impossible. I feel i've missed out on so much because of how my early life unfolded but i'm making up for it now, unfortunately without my family of origin. | |
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| poker after dark and my brother, the ass
Posted: 1/10/2009 5:05:21 AM | You mad he is on tv , mad he is winning or mad he isnt much of a brother????
IN reality, get over it. Not everyone has the greatest relationships with their siblings. Just be glad you can see how he is doing at this point in time 
Just because you are siblings doesnt mean everything will turn out great, we still all have our flaws. Coming on here and bagging him wont improve your relationship | |
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| poker after dark and my brother, the ass
Posted: 1/10/2009 5:30:21 AM | Ive never met the OP but I have seen her on the poetry forum and perhaps even exchanged an email with her.. She appears from her postings to be a fine person , so I will give her the benefit of the doubt..
If i only had one sibling perhaps i would like him/her better than the ones i have.. liking your family isnt the same as loving them (ones a choice the other an obligation)
and seeing the potential of being close to anyone, wasted in a series of selfish acts can be frustrating..but without a common vision of what might be..it ain't happening..ever
Sorry | |
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| poker after dark and my brother, the ass
Posted: 1/10/2009 5:58:09 AM | There is no real question here. This is just a pity post. That being said, I have no problem with pity posts and doling out a little sympathy. Here are some definitions for the word pity:
# commiseration: a feeling of sympathy and sorrow for the misfortunes of others
# feel for: share the suffering of
# compassion: the humane quality of understanding the suffering of others and wanting to do something about it.
The world could use a little more pity.
I am sorry your brother was not there for you. That sucks.
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| poker after dark and my brother, the ass
Posted: 1/10/2009 6:16:44 AM | Yes it hurts, and if your parents are gone can be very hard to accept. My siblings and I had went our separate ways until the death of both our parents. Some how that has begun to bring us together after 20 some years. We still aren't your model family lol but we work on things that can make our relationship better.
You might try accepting him for who he is first then talk to him about how you feel. Just like any relationship communication is key. Just having that history sometimes makes it hard to forgive and accept the person for who they really are. Just like anyone you can't change them but you can accept them. | |
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| poker after dark and my brother, the ass
Posted: 1/10/2009 6:30:31 AM | know when to hold em
know when to fold em
Know when to kick em in the balls to the curb.
Little brothers learn big lessons early in life.
Or....
Not. | |
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| poker after dark and my brother, the ass
Posted: 1/10/2009 7:07:19 AM | | Brotherly obligation? What the hell is that?What makes you think your brother has any obligation to you? Are you not responsible for yourself?What ever it is get over it! | |
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Kixxie
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Joined: 12/4/2008
Msg: 21 | |
| poker after dark and my brother, the ass
Posted: 1/10/2009 7:24:54 AM | OP, I'm sorry to hear that the relationship between you and your sibling is strained.
2 things pop into my head while considering your question.
1...... What is his side of the story?
2..... What purpose is served by slamming your brother, other than just to vent? | |
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Kixxie
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Joined: 12/4/2008
Msg: 22 | |
| poker after dark and my brother, the ass
Posted: 1/10/2009 7:32:14 AM | A brotherly obligation? My brothers are not obligated to me in any way, shape or form......nor am I to them. We are individual people who live our lives the way that we see fit.
I'm not trying to be judgmental here.......you are throwing this info out for us to..... I guess sort out for you? JMO, but it seems that you are jealous of any success that he might have. You have mentioned seeing him on tv, as well as the comment about his wedding in the "pricey" 4 seasons within mandalay bay.
My brothers and I still have our little sibling rivalries from time to time.....I think most siblings do, as we do, after all, know how to piss each other off better than anyone on the planet lol. But, it seems that with this situation, there is alot more going on than one or the other being a PITA from time to time. | |
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| poker after dark and my brother, the ass
Posted: 1/10/2009 7:34:51 AM | ok...we have no clue exactly what your brother did or didn't do to facilitate this rift between the two of you. i don't get the 'brotherly obligations' thing.
i do recall my pride at seeing my own brother on the history channel's series about historical occupations. they featured him prominently in a segment about whaling.
he seems to have lost the arrogance that plagued him earlier in his life. marrying an oxford grad will do that, i suppose.
anyway, your brother needs to walk his own path. someday, it may join yours. or it may not. you certainly have the right to the way you feel, but it may make you happier and more at peace to put some positive energy around the relationship. you can't really influence his behavior, but you can put yourself at peace with it, knowing that, on some level, things will balance out. the universe loves harmony and it will settle events in a manner conducive to your evolution. | |
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| poker after dark and my brother, the ass
Posted: 1/10/2009 8:16:21 AM | As his sister you should feel happy for him. Instead you complain and try to gain sympathy for what? Your brother isn't a loser?
Hard to feel for you OP. Your post screams pettiness and jealousy. This takes the term sibling rivalry to new lows. | |
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| poker after dark and my brother, the ass
Posted: 1/10/2009 8:25:12 AM | Without knowing more about your relationship and all the things that have gone on then none of us can really know which of you is at fault for the breakdown of your relationship. I will say this though that very very rarely in life is the breakdown of a relationship ever the fault of only one person.
Perhaps try to take an objective look at your fault in all of this mess. I have a feeling if we were to ask your brother then we would get a very different view of this situation. | |
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