| she used to have unprotected sex when she was younger
Posted: 1/13/2009 12:33:07 PM | I just got back from eating lunch with a co worker. She brought along a friend to introduce her to more people as she is having trouble meeting people. Not a big deal t me at all, but while we were talking about things I have read and posted to on this site I suddenly wanted to through a glass of water in this woman's face.
As we are talking she said something to the fact that she used to have unprotected sex when she was younger, but was very careful now. Didn't even phase me that she had unprotected sex because I wasn't going to have sex with her so who cares, but then she continued on to say that she had 8 abortions from this practice. I literally thought I was going to throw up and then felt so angry that I wanted to punch her. I am very vocal and asked her WTF? She said she didn't know what the big deal was because at least she wasn't bringing an unwanted child into this world................That was it. I shoved my chair back and walked out as I threw a $20 down on the table for my meal.
Now, I don't want this to turn into an abortion being murder thread. I am very prochoice as to what a women does with her body. I myself got pregnant after 7yrs and left him and thought long and hard about whether I could handle being a single parent, but figured I could do it. I have no ill will for anyone that makes that choice.............BUT, I do have issue with someone using abortion as a form of birth control.
I am so pissed right now that I would just like to hear what others think. Could you ever be friends with someone like that? My friend called me and said she was sorry and such, but I wonder how could a person be friends with someone who has so little respect or even a little bit of guilt for her actions. She spoke of it like it was taking out the garbage or something.
What do others think........am I just being prudish or would other handle it better than I did? | |
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| A serious sexual question for men and women
Posted: 1/13/2009 12:36:07 PM | Call me judgemental......but I'm right there with ya Kirota.
Abortion being used as repeated birth control......just shouldn't even be allowed.
Yes.....I'm prochoice......but that's just ridiculous. | |
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| A serious sexual question for men and women
Posted: 1/13/2009 12:38:38 PM |
I do have issue with someone using abortion as a form of birth control.
Abortion being used as repeated birth control......just shouldn't even be allowed.
Yes.....I'm prochoice......but that's just ridiculous.
I don't need to reply.. you both have said what I think and feel about this subject. | |
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| A serious sexual question for men and women
Posted: 1/13/2009 12:39:44 PM | I'm not going to go into a rant about my opinions on this as it is a deep and touchy subject and will most likely get into a ROE vs. WADE thread anyways, but will say that would be a red flag for me for dating purposes. That's careless history I don;t want to personally be involved with. However, she would be unlikely to divulge that history to a prospective mate, at least up front. People are unique aren't they!  | |
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| A serious sexual question for men and women
Posted: 1/13/2009 12:44:46 PM |
how well do you know your co-workers?
Pretty well...............I will say she had a look of disgust on her face as the words were being said. I'm not sure if she knew until that moment or if she knew this girl very well. I don't think she would try to piss me off...........we eat lunch together at least 3-4 times a month and our kids play together. I will say that if we had been out at night in a club or something and she told me that I would have beat the hell out of her.........not just for what she did, but her "so what" way of talking about it. I honestly don't know if I can even allow myself to see my co-worker in the same way if she hangs out with this women.
I guess if they were trying to piss me off it worked, but why would anyone say something like that to just piss someone off. Wouldn't they worry that this kind of thing could get around and cause trouble? I tell you what | |
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| A serious sexual question for men and women
Posted: 1/13/2009 12:49:23 PM | ^^
not just for what she did, but her "so what" way of talking about it.
yeah, and a lot of people claim that 'women are the kind, caring, nurturing, compassionate gender..'
obviously not ALL Of them.. | |
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| A serious sexual question for men and women
Posted: 1/13/2009 12:49:40 PM | Sounds to me like she has no respect for her unborn babies, her partners or for herself.
With practises like that .. pregnancy would've been the least of my worries. 
Rather odd topic of conversation for an initial meet don't ya think ???
Any questions now as to why she has trouble making friends ???
Edit: Being kind, caring, nurturing, compassionate is not gender specific. | |
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| A serious sexual question for men and women
Posted: 1/13/2009 12:50:32 PM | This person needs to learn how to keep personal things personal......She needs to get fixed if she wants to play with a loaded gun and then hurt a child 8 times!!Holy cows...I can't believe how some treat their bodies.
You have said how I feel....I'm trying very hard not to lose controll and type what I really think of someone like this.
I would NEVER be friends with someone like this.As I would have no respect for them.
Going to  away now!! | |
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| A serious sexual question for men and women
Posted: 1/13/2009 12:55:20 PM | No surprise really that this woman is "having trouble meeting people" if she is so upfront and candid with people she's just been introduced to.
"am I just being prudish or would other handle it better than I did? "
You say in your post that you are "very prochoice" but your reaction to this person doesn't really show that. There could be any number of reasons why she had 8 abortions....maybe she was raped or sexually abused, maybe she didn't have an older person to whom she could turn for advice and guidance, maybe she wasn't the sharpest pencil in the box. She doesn't come across now as being very on the ball because she suffers from divulging TMI. I wouldn't have flounced out on lunch. I would probably have asked her about her past life. But that's me.
"Could you ever be friends with someone like that?"
Well, perhaps I am. I tend to judge people on their present actions towards me and I don't care what they did in the past so long as they have turned over a new leaf and learned from their errors.
SARL | |
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| A serious sexual question for men and women
Posted: 1/13/2009 12:59:04 PM | Rather odd topic of conversation for an initial meet don't ya think ???
I guess I was the one who brought sexual things up at the table because of a thread I was posting in and was asking my co worker about it and the conversation just kind of stayed there...........
I didn't find talking about sexual things with another woman that I didn't know to be odd as I am very sexual and very open, but the way she said such things was a bit shocking.
You say in your post that you are "very prochoice" but your reaction to this person doesn't really show that. There could be any number of reasons why she had 8 abortions....maybe she was raped or sexually abused, maybe she didn't have an older person to whom she could turn for advice and guidance, maybe she wasn't the sharpest pencil in the box. She doesn't come across now as being very on the ball because she suffers from divulging TMI. I wouldn't have flounced out on lunch. I would probably have asked her about her past life. But that's me.
If she has said she had an abortion I would have said I am sorry.........but telling me that she had 8 abortions because she didn't always practice safe sex pretty much said it all. I didn't need to ask her if she had been abused or raped..........Hell, I might even be okay with someone making a mistake twice.........but not 8 times. That to me says..........I would rather get an abortion than take my butt to the doc and get some kind of birth control or have my man wear a condom.
OMFG.........QUIT FORUM POLICE. HOW IS THIS OFF TOPIC TO THE FORUM?
I guess I should have put something in here about penis size or her vagina size........ | |
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| A serious sexual question for men and women
Posted: 1/13/2009 1:03:00 PM | I think as soon as the child is conceived, it's no longer just "her body"...it's another's (the child's), and that abortion should not be used as a form of birth control. That's what I think.
It's a woman's right--I just hope she doesn't make a habit out of the practice like that woman did. | |
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| A serious sexual question for men and women
Posted: 1/13/2009 1:06:37 PM | I think you overreacted. Before I get jumped on, I agree that abortion as birth control is wrong, and having 8 abortions is, well, let's just say over the top. But, you don't know anything about this woman other than what you learned at lunch.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say she has some emotional issues that go WAY back. First off, you don't have 8 abortions unless you have some other issue going on. Second, you don't tell people you've had 8 abortions unless you other issues. That I know of, only one of my friends has ever had one, but I'm guessing I've known or know a number of others that have, but they choose to keep it private.
And then, for you to say you don't even want to be friends with someone that would be friends with that woman? If I was your friend, and you told me that you didn't want to be friends with me because of who some of my other friends were, well I'd politely show you the door. | |
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| A serious sexual question for men and women
Posted: 1/13/2009 1:08:56 PM | ^^^^ you wouldn't need to.........I would not associate with that type of a person. I am not going to be quilt by association. Whether she has issues or not..........there is enough mental health places to go to get help.
vvvv I'm sure I probably did over react...........but I was totally disgusted and couldn't have enjoyed my meal anyway.......so why stay? I'm not pissed that she had an abortion or even so much the 8 (which is high by any way you look at it) but the way she acted like it was a normal thing. I would like to comment more but don't want to make this a abortion debate........
It is your choice to do as you please sexually with your body...........I guess I must be still living in the world where a person needs to learn from a mistake. Not just go to the doctor and have it removed. Same goes for STD's in my world. | |
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| A serious sexual question for men and women
Posted: 1/13/2009 1:11:50 PM | Kirota - take a chill woman! Why are you so pissed? This woman was nothing to you. She made decisions that you didnt agree with, even though you are pro choice. Luckily our country allows us to disagree and allows women to choose what to do with their bodies. The woman was pretty stupid, but she has a point about unwanted children
I don't like the idea of abortion=birth control, but to storm out of a lunch because a stranger thought differently? You surely over reacted... | |
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| A serious sexual question for men and women
Posted: 1/13/2009 1:12:56 PM | I would have been pissed off too! I've heard of women having numerous abortions as if it's some sort of birth control, lack of respect for human life I tell ya! I'm very repulsed by the idea. I try not to be judgmental but NO, I cannot be friends with a woman who has had an abortion (depends on the situation). I remember meeting this woman a while back in college my junior year and we became somewhat close, she told me that she has had 2 abortions in the past because her "b/f told her to." My blood boiled after I heard that. I told her why not just use some sort of contraception OR keep your legs closed! Ugh. That's a human life. If you cannot respect that, I cannot respect you. She spoke so nonchalant about the whole situation as if she was talking about getting rid of a lingerie her man despised 
Anyhow, I am in total agreement with you. I would have done the same thing and walk out that restaurant, I'd have no appetite left. You handled it well. | |
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| A serious sexual question for men and women
Posted: 1/13/2009 1:14:40 PM | | Associate with what type of person? You liked your coworker before, thought they were a nice person, and now because of her friend, your coworker is suddenly a bad person? | |
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| A serious sexual question for men and women
Posted: 1/13/2009 1:15:26 PM |
. Luckily our country allows us to disagree and allows women to choose what to do with their bodies. The woman was pretty stupid, but she has a point about unwanted children
I don't like the idea of abortion=birth control, but to storm out of a lunch because a stranger thought differently? You surely over reacted...
LOL..isn't this post a little ironic?
why doesn't kirota then have the "FREEDOM" to leave if she wishes? to disagree vocally?
I'm wondering about the costs..how much does an abortion usually run?
I have no idea..$500? $1,000? more?
doubting that she paid for it herself..those costs alone might be a deterrent?
guessing that taxpayers paid for this through Medicare/Medicaid, etc.? | |
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| A serious sexual question for men and women
Posted: 1/13/2009 1:19:02 PM | Doesn't sound like she had problems meeting people before...
There' s so much wrong with that woman that I don't know where to begin. Okay, Emily Post might have a thing or two to say about how you handled it, but sharing information like that in mixed company the first time you meet people? Dear Abby would have been driven to using the F word at her. EIGHT TIMES!!!??? What a waste of skin this woman is.
For the record, I'm pro choice and disgusted. | |
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