| How do you deal with a loud talker????
Posted: 1/14/2009 7:17:57 AM | | Not sure if the title is exactly what i am asking but here goes the story. I met a girl from POF at a public place for our first meeting. as we sat and had some interesting talk, she always kept her voice loud enough for people on the other side of the place could here what she was saying. it wouldn't have been a problem for me except for the fact that she was making bad referances to people of different races. i am no racist and i am not sure if she is but she constantly made what i thought were bad statements about them. i wanted so bad to tell her to shut up or keep her voice down but being it was our first meeting i dealt with it knowing it would be our last meeting. should i have said something to her? asked her to keep her voice down?? not sure what to do. i liked her and if it wasnt for this i would ask her out again but i like to keep things low key and not draw attention to myself in such a way ( in almost everyway actually) | |
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| How do you deal with a loud talker????
Posted: 1/14/2009 7:23:10 AM | | She may be a hard of hearing racist. I would not hesitated to tell her to keep her voice down. But would have left the table after the first bad comment anyway. | |
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| How do you deal with a loud talker????
Posted: 1/14/2009 7:24:26 AM | ......................................................................................................................................
Boistrous people don't bother me - BUT - Racists do! If I were out with a guy who was loud, that would be one thing - However; if he were making comments - Hate comments about Any group of people - I would Just as Loudly let him know that "I do Not go for that crap - This date is over." I expect More of my friends and Dates. Racism is a huge deal breaker for me.
Period. | |
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| How do you deal with a loud talker????
Posted: 1/14/2009 7:24:53 AM | Volume... can be difficult. I am a fairly direct kind of person and if they don't respond to me looking around at other people reacting to their loud voice then I would probably say: "I think we should talk a bit more quietly -- I think we're disturbing other people here".
Racist comments... I've reached the point where I'll just say, "You can't talk like that. I'm not going to sit here with you/walk with you if you're going to talk like that". My dad (not actually racist but very un-PC in his comments) got this reaction from me over Christmas when we were out walking and he shut up and changed topic. Using a soft-smiley-but-firm tone of voice probably helps too. You may need to repeat yourself to make it clear that despite the warmth and smile in your tone, you are quite serious about finding those comments unacceptable.
If they don't stop, leave. | |
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| How do you deal with a loud talker????
Posted: 1/14/2009 7:26:09 AM | every time she starts to talk, stick your fingers in your ears. if she's brighter than a 40 watt bulb (doubtful in this particular instance), she'll soon take the hint.
i wanted so bad to tell her to shut up or keep her voice down but being it was our first meeting i dealt with it knowing it would be our last meeting.
oh i would have said something, alright. "excuse me, but are you aware that not only is your voice intolerably loud, but the words coming out of your mouth are retarded?" just think of the potential that has for cutting a heinous date mercifully short. | |
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| How do you deal with a loud talker????
Posted: 1/14/2009 7:42:22 AM | When she started yelling,sorry,i mean talking.......I think id pretend i was deaf and start mouthing my words and cupping my ear with my hand to indicate i couldn't hear her.......................maybe she might get the hint ??
Actually,if she was being racist,i would've left
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| How do you deal with a loud talker????
Posted: 1/14/2009 7:48:47 AM | How about whipping out a ball gag, perhaps the message would have been clear...lol
Personally, and especially on a first meeting if someone is racists, I would have said well thank you for meeting me but there is no chemistry and stood up and walked out. I will not put up with BS, at the age we are, we truly do not have to be the subdued little school boy or school girl that just makes due and waits til it is over. However, to each their own.
Good call on NOT meeting her again, imagine that was your first encounter...lol | |
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| How do you deal with a loud talker????
Posted: 1/14/2009 7:57:50 AM | How about whipping out a ball gag, perhaps the message would have been clear...lol
that was funny. i wish i would have had one but then, what if she liked it?? LOLOL | |
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| How do you deal with a loud talker????
Posted: 1/14/2009 8:06:20 AM | | First off, I'm with you on anticultureism (if you're racist you hate humans, we are all from the same race) If it would have been me in that situation I would have finnished my drink quickly and said "It was nice meeting you, but not that nice" C'Yaaaaaaa! But that's just me. I have no time for ignorance of that caliber. | |
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| How do you deal with a loud talker????
Posted: 1/14/2009 8:31:34 AM | | Ha ha, I have a friend who is really loud, too. At our last lunch meeting, she was describing how her BF is having fertility problems and kept talking about HIS BALLS HIS BALLS. People all around were trying to have a nice lunch, and she's talking about HIS BALLS AND HIS BRUISED PENIS. I actually found it amusing, but had I been one of the other lunch-goers, not so much. I do not try to change her, but I would not be comfy dating her. | |
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| How do you deal with a loud talker????
Posted: 1/14/2009 8:32:02 AM |
i am no racist and i am not sure if she is but
Not sure huh? does she need a piss-stained hooded robe and burning cross to make it clearer to you?
should i have said something to her
Well duh.. when you listen to racist lo rent trash slathering on , your silence equals non verbal approval.. I know you liked her but hell you cant be that desperate to hesitate to *flush* a person who is a brazen racist piece o shyt..
It shows no matter how cute a person may be, doesnt take long for them to look real ugly real fast after they open their yaps..
I dated a guy once who was a real hottie, witty charming etc..We were smitten bigtime with each other...Then only 4 hours into the date, he starts yammering about how lesbians are "sexy " and wonderful but gay men are a "abomination" and how gay men are sick twisted etc.... I mean he morphed from cool guy to jimmy swaggert.. Even though I am not gay or bi, I was clearly offended and disgusted by his vitrolic hatred/bigotry and I told him so...I *flushed* him and the date..and never looked back..
You indeed would have been wise to say something to her to show your disapproval of that disposable douche then step.. | |
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| How do you deal with a loud talker????
Posted: 1/14/2009 8:35:00 AM | She's a frigging racist. Why would it matter how loud she talks? Are you planning on dating someone like that?
It reminds me of one of the greatest songs ever...
This is where the party ends
I can't stand here listening to you
And your racist friend
I know politics bore you
But I feel like a hypocrite talking to you
And your racist friend" =========== THEY MIGHT BE GIANTS
If you were just talking about LOUD TALKERS in general. . . I used to be one, so I can give you some perspective. Loud talkers don't know they are being loud and don't especially WANT to be loud. I probably started talking loud because when you live in a loud family, it's how you get heard.
My ex-wife broke me of that behavior in the very beginning of our relationship long ago... she would simply say 'talk quieter'; it took less than 10 reminders to accomplish this.
JAMES! I mean, James, Port Orchard, Washington, USA, Earth | |
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| How do you deal with a loud talker????
Posted: 1/14/2009 8:35:03 AM | | You should get together with your short, balding friend, the tall, insane friend, and the ex-girlfriend friend and ridicule this girl until you are forced by peer pressure to dump her. | |
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| How do you deal with a loud talker????
Posted: 1/14/2009 9:23:26 AM | ~OP~ I have a relative that simply has to be seen/heard/noticed and stared at constantly. She didn't enter a room, she BLOWS in. BLECH.  I finally had to just stay completely away from her. I found myself wanting to plug my ears, shut my eyes and scream "lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalaallalaalla" ~ EWWWWWWWWW.
As for the racists comments. Shame on her. Get rid of her. Those things are deep-seated and a dead end unless you are of the very same mindset. I severed ties with my "grandfather" person when he said that a black man I've known for my entire life was a "lazy N*****." Screw that. I don't care what blood lines exist, that goes completely against my grain and spoke so loudly of his ignorance that I find no valuable qualities in him any longer (amongst a few other disgusting traits, but that was the finale for me personally!!) Better luck next time. Loud talker and racist? Oh dear me ~ recipe for embarrassment and disaster.  | |
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| How do you deal with a loud talker????
Posted: 1/14/2009 9:31:18 AM | | i have to say that the advice i got so far has been wide ranging. i am not a person that likes to hurt someone just because and like i said. i knew that it was going to be our first and last meeting but i didnt want to go away feeling like some kind of ass because i said something to her that she would have certainly took as me being an ass. i know this plan of action is also going to be met with some harsh critisism but it is who i am and like it or not it is me. i still talk with her in emails and did tell her that i didnt feel a spark. what she is is what she is and i am not out to change someone into what i want. they have to be that and by changing them, they will eventually go back to it at some point. | |
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| How do you deal with a loud talker????
Posted: 1/14/2009 9:36:33 AM | And yet, she had no problem being an ass and insulting anyone within her loud voice. Yeah, I'd be really worried about hurting her feelings.  People get away with such behavior because so many other people let them. | |
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| How do you deal with a loud talker????
Posted: 1/14/2009 9:43:49 AM | IME, experience, there is most often an INVERSE correlation between the value of what someone is saying and the volume with which they say it.
stupid, ignorant, know-nothings often have the loudest voices..
it sounds like that is the case with your 'friend'.. | |
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| How do you deal with a loud talker????
Posted: 1/14/2009 9:47:04 AM | It wasn't so much as her being a loud talker for me, as it was her saying completely offensive things that would have made me tell her to be quiet. That would have been at about the same time I was removing my napkin from my lap, and standing to my feet to leave.
This is intolerable for me. I would have known as soon as she opened up her mouth and spewed that kind ignorance out of it that we were, in no way, shape, or form, gonna have anything in common. | |
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| How do you deal with a loud talker????
Posted: 1/14/2009 9:57:52 AM | Racist comments.. How are people in this day and age still so ignorant to think it is OK to make those kinds of comments? I have had more then my share of "closet" racists to stop at my profile and finally ended up putting a "disclaimer" at the bottom of my profile. Nothing worse then to have someone make a comment and when you comment on it have them say "Oh I didn't mean it that way." Then why did you say it??? 
As for loud talkers.. *looks around* Oops got a little loud didn't I? *picks up her soap box and returns to her chair*. Sorry.. I guess you can't reform a loud talker.. Good luck OP.
Arp | |
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| How do you deal with a loud talker????
Posted: 1/14/2009 10:00:56 AM | | I don't deal with really loud people often, not when dating anyway - but hearing anything I percieve as racial or discriminatory isn't my bag, so I wouldn't want to talk to them or see them again, which basically solves the problem. | |
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