BFU
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Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 1 | |
| Is It Bad For A Man To Need A Woman ?
Posted: 1/14/2009 4:54:35 PM | Good Evening Ladies. I have read here that a guy appears desperate if he seems to "need" a woman. That it's a huge turn off as well. I don't understand. You don't want to feel needed ?
I work 6 days every week , take care of myself , maintain MY home and Car. Put some $ in the bank , cook , clean and get along fine. Believe I've got things well at hand , but YES I DO need a woman. How does that make me "desperate" when I have everything else ? Also , since I do have everything else , how is that a turn off ?
Thanks for your comments in advance because between my work and my music I have very little time for dating and am trying to make the most of it.  | |
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| Is It Bad For A Man To Need A Woman ?
Posted: 1/14/2009 4:57:14 PM | Personally, I dont think it's bad for anyone to need someone. Everyone views things differently though.
Edit: I guess I should rephrase that. It's not bad to want someone in your life. But, you have to be able be happy with yourself as a person. It sounds like you are....... and are wanting someone to share your life with. And, there's nothing at all wrong with that. | |
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| Is It Bad For A Man To Need A Woman ?
Posted: 1/14/2009 4:57:30 PM | It's semantics.
Using the word "need" sounds too Needy. Go figure.
Say you're looking for some great company instead.
Say it's more fun to do certain things when there are two people involved...
Etc... | |
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| Is It Bad For A Man To Need A Woman ?
Posted: 1/14/2009 5:03:59 PM | | Well here's my opinion for what it's worth. With everything you already have including happiness I don't think you really need a woman you want a woman. It may feel like a need but will you die without one? We want things, need them, love them, and like them. You want the happiness a woman can bring to your already complete life, you crave it, you desire it. You need water and air to survive. See the difference? Needing means you feel you can't live your life well without someone. You seem to be living your life just fine. I want to need someone so badly because I want them, not want someone so badly because I need them. I hope some of this makes sense? | |
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BFU
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Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 5 | |
| Is It Bad For A Man To Need A Woman ?
Posted: 1/14/2009 5:13:45 PM | I don't know. To me "want" and "need" are the same thing. Why do I have to be so different ?! I'm a one of a kind !
"KYOSEI" (Japanese) means "living and working together for the common good" so yes , you do live better with someone else.
I have also read in the Bible that woman was created so that man would not be lonely. Was this how life is supposed to be ? | |
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| Is It Bad For A Man To Need A Woman ?
Posted: 1/14/2009 5:26:32 PM |
I have also read in the Bible that woman was created so that man would not be lonely. Was this how life is supposed to be ?
Umm, no. If you are projecting that attitude towards women, it is a huge turn off and a big red flag. No one wants to think they exist simply to please someone else or cause them not to be lonely. You should be able to live alone without being lonely. Getting involved with other people helps alleviate loneliness.
People get involved in relationships because they are attracted to someone who provides romanticism and eroticism as well as friendly companionship and the pleasure of their company. All that together creates love and that is a state where your partner's happiness is just as important than yours. Being a loving person creates attraction whereas being a lonely person repels. | |
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BFU
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Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 7 | |
| Is It Bad For A Man To Need A Woman ?
Posted: 1/14/2009 5:37:50 PM | | I only quote the bible here on this post because there is some relevance. I do not project that attitude towards women. It's not about being lonely. It's about when the night time rolls around and a guy simply wants a girl for everything that you mentioned (romance , erotica, friendship ) yet we are labelled as "desperate". I don't understand that. | |
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| Is It Bad For A Man To Need A Woman ?
Posted: 1/14/2009 5:48:55 PM | | People seem so afraid of being labelled "needy". I'm the first one to confess to it. No, it is not bad for a man to need a woman. And vice versa. It's the most natural thing in the world. | |
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| Is It Bad For A Man To Need A Woman ?
Posted: 1/14/2009 5:50:03 PM | | Wanting and needing are two different things. As for me, having a man in my life is a want, not a need. I also work, go to College and take care of my life. I want to meet someone that does the same thing. But to say you "need" may come off as "needy". I have met many men who have all that you say you have, but emotionally cannot function alone. Which in turn means they will SETTLE for anyone, because they "need" to have a woman in their life. I myself will not settle, and I do not want a man who will settle. Be picky. Care about who you are with. To me it just sounds so....not so good! Be with me because you WANT ME not just because you NEED a woman in your life. | |
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| Is It Bad For A Man To Need A Woman ?
Posted: 1/14/2009 5:54:57 PM | I don't want to be with a man who wants or needs a woman. I want to be with a man who wants ME because I am absolutely wonderful. Enjoying the perks of my woman-ness should just be a bonus.
I realize that's living in Lala-land... but there it is. | |
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BFU
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Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 11 | |
| Is It Bad For A Man To Need A Woman ?
Posted: 1/14/2009 5:56:55 PM | | I hope that my profile does not come off as needy but wanting instead. There is only so much that you can do with the words in a profile. Misunderstandings happen too easily. | |
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| Is It Bad For A Man To Need A Woman ?
Posted: 1/14/2009 6:02:58 PM | Sounds to me like you want to fill a "slot." You have a wife or girlfriend slot open and need someone to put in there and you have a pretty good idea of the roles that person would play. But in reality, relationships evolve and they may evolve into something totally unexpected and that is what makes them special. If I sense that a man is wooing me for any other reason than he thinks I'm wonderful and wants to spend time with me, or if I sense that he's looking for a girlfriend unit to fill a need, I run as fast as I can.
I want to be with a man because I think he's fabulous and I want a man to be with me because he feels the same. I don't lie in bed at night thinking I need a man to be with me, but instead search for men that I feel some attraction to and see what happens.
EDIT TO ADD: I have someone in my life, but I don't "need" him. He's cute, sexy and funny and I enjoy spending time with him. I don't want to be with him 24/7. | |
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BFU
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Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 13 | |
| Is It Bad For A Man To Need A Woman ?
Posted: 1/14/2009 6:04:00 PM | I don't want to be with a man who wants or needs a woman. I want to be with a man who wants ME because I am absolutely wonderful. Enjoying the perks of my woman-ness should just be a bonus.
Ma'am , you are the " woman " that he will "want". You contradicted yourself. | |
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BFU
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Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 14 | |
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| Is It Bad For A Man To Need A Woman ?
Posted: 1/14/2009 6:35:28 PM | OP its natural to have a need.
But more than that it is unnatural for a woman not to see that need and fulfill it.
Atleast whenever I felt a need, I never had to ask anyone, out of the blue relationships started with women I was not even thinking about.
Yes, running after women is desperation, don't do that, its best not to give them importance, the more importance you give to them the more desperate they will think you are.
Believe me, watch the movie "The Secret" and you will understand what I said.
If i go out contacting every woman on this site then I am desperate, but if I just be myself then the chances of getting laid are far far more. | |
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| Is It Bad For A Man To Need A Woman ?
Posted: 1/14/2009 6:39:37 PM |
I have also read in the Bible that woman was created so that man would not be lonely. Was this how life is supposed to be ?
I also have often pondered over many such things you mention.I do agree with poster that brings up the concept of it being somewhat of a matter of semantics...need/want
I will share with you a small part of a poem I had once written to answer your question as to how I believe it was possibly intended to be.
I am soul,I am woman;
secure enough to make you weak at the knees
and be your inner strength that helps you stay on your feet.
Yet this does not mean I am the curse and the cure
when you can't find your own balance and harmony.
As for the semantics of it all...just trade out the word,need and replace it with the word,desire and I think you'll do just fine. | |
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| Is It Bad For A Man To Need A Woman ?
Posted: 1/14/2009 6:52:39 PM | Want and need are two entirely separate things. You need water or you die of dehydration. You need food or you starve.
I want a Mercedes, but I don't need it. I can get by without one. Same thing with female companionship. Yes, I would like to have someone in my life. But I make do quite well without one, thank you. And I don't want a woman to "need" me either.
People who "need" just become an emotional drain. Been there, done that. Thanks but no thanks. | |
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| Is It Bad For A Man To Need A Woman ?
Posted: 1/14/2009 7:59:41 PM | OP......don't EVER EVER EVER be in 'need' of a woman! That's not cool.
Remember the Garden Of Eden? Remember Eve? Remember Adam? Remember THE apple? There ya go...............Adam the fool.....ONE bite...all he 'needed' was one bite of that apple and look where we are today.....in POF!! Eve 'wanted' us in POF. | |
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| Is It Bad For A Man To Need A Woman ?
Posted: 1/14/2009 9:26:00 PM | The way to not need women is to have been hurt badly by them. That will set you free. Now you feel a sense of detachment. The umbilical cord is severed. You cannot fake this.
You can love and appreciate them for who they are (whoever that is!). You got more space and so does she.
Re: needy profiles. My profile is basically one long f*ck you. But it's funny. | |
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| Is It Bad For A Man To Need A Woman ?
Posted: 1/14/2009 9:35:39 PM |
OP its natural to have a need.
But more than that it is unnatural for a woman not to see that need and fulfill it.
Atleast whenever I felt a need, I never had to ask anyone, out of the blue relationships started with women I was not even thinking about.
Yes, running after women is desperation, don't do that, its best not to give them importance, the more importance you give to them the more desperate they will think you are.
See, I though this guy was all introspective and insightful, too, and then he goes and tells a woman that he digs her boobies in some other thread.
I'm onto you forexlion. | |
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| Is It Bad For A Man To Need A Woman ?
Posted: 1/14/2009 9:51:31 PM | Saying you "need" a woman, sounds as if you are "needy".
Wanting a woman or wanting companionship is similar but doesn't so dependent. | |
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