| What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/14/2009 4:57:57 PM | I just read a post where a man admits he is bitter. I thought good.
He said it maybe the kiss of death to admit it.
I think we all need to taste a little bitter to appreciate what's sweet.
You just can't stay that way forever. But a good bit of bitter never hurt anyone.
I think we learn from it just like any other emotion.
I've had some unsuccessful relationships and I needed to be a bit bitter for a bit.
I got over it with time.
So NOW .. I don't jump in so fast. I don't believe in infatuation anymore. I've learned a few lessons along the way...and sometimes I am a little weary. I don't think it's such a bad thing. Sometimes I think good.
What's so wrong with being jaded? | |
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| What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/14/2009 5:12:01 PM | Jaded, as a way to describe, feels permanent to me.
Where bitter is a stage one can move through.
I don't see them as one and the same.
Someone jaded would be difficult for me because I would perceive the condition as terminal. Whereas someone who is bitter, will recover. | |
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| What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/14/2009 5:40:09 PM | Agree with red relaxed.
i think youre right OP, about being bitter. its a good learning tool, perhaps the best, it prevents repeating old mistakes,.. it makes you look at things, especially relationships in very real terms.. and it can act as a spur to motivate you to do things very differently. Bitter is an intense, but ultimately finite state.
Jaded, however, as red relaxed said, is terminal.
I have tried to deal with jaded and apathetic men, and found them to be joy suckers,.. who will not give a new person or relationship its proper due.
the jaded are selfish and self serving IME,.. and arent great to be around in the long term/
Bitter, I'll admit to being bitter quite a lot, cynical even... but thats because im an idealist deep down... but I hope I never go through so much crap in my life as to become jaded.
TDDx | |
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| What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/14/2009 5:41:33 PM | Who the hell wants to start a relationship with a person with a chip on their shoulder or one that thinks ALL men/women are the same?
Bitter=lonely. | |
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| What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/14/2009 5:43:40 PM | ^^^^^^^^
I tend to agree with carolann once again...................LOL.
I have been accused of being jaded but I'm not. Just sick of some people not all men in general. | |
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| What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/14/2009 5:55:52 PM | | Excellent post. I'm having a bit of bitterness myself right now, it will pass, but I'm very honest about it. I'd like to kick a certain person but on the other hand I wouldn't ever want to see him again. However, I don't want to harbor this feeling for a long time, why poison the well of happiness. The passage of time generally takes away this feeling. Your point is well taken about learning from these things so as to avoid similar mistakes in the future. | |
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| What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/14/2009 5:56:24 PM |
Someone jaded would be difficult for me because I would perceive the condition as terminal. Whereas someone who is bitter, will recover. A little cynicism shows that someone is realistic. If you are not slightly jaded or cynical, you just are not playing close enough attention.
Jaded is not demonstrably different in definition relative to cynical. It bespeaks a level of exhaustion. You don't need to put any energy into being jaded, whereas bitter expresses a great deal more intensity or passion.
Webster's defines:
jaded
1 : fatigued by overwork : exhausted
2 : made dull, apathetic, or cynical by experience or by surfeit
You may be jaded, but do not have to be bitter... you can be bitter, and never jaded. | |
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10of6
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Joined: 8/27/2008
Msg: 8 | |
| What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/14/2009 6:05:26 PM | Nothing wrong at all. Like anger, which is considered one of the deadly sins in Christianity, it's much maligned by Western civilization control freaks.
Cynicism (being jaded) is as valuable as anger, which is as valuable as elation and despair. They are survival skills.
"Anger management" classes are offered to many who have been railroaded by a plaintiff or by the court itself. Seems like the plaintiff or judges need to attend "Defendant Manipulation" classes. No one offers "Happy Happy Joy Joy Management" classes, nor would anyone attend because of the silliness of it.
What the hell is so important about precisely labeling it as "jaded" or "bitter?" Why not mind one's own business and recognize that people are trying to muddle through life without an instruction manual--which they'd never read anyway--and with the abilities and graces that God bestowed on them?
It's all silly, and it's all good. | |
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| What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/14/2009 6:20:49 PM | Jaded is a state of mind wherein one can have an emotional shut down and insulate yourself from being hurt.. You are void of trust for anyone beyond yourself, not allowing yourself to be vulnerable, and closed emotionally to anyone..no matter how sincere the person is... Its kind of a state of emotional numbness....
Bitterness is often an immediate and brief reaction much like, anger, grieving and angst ..
It's a natural and I would say healthy emotion insofar that it is acknowledged expressed then released... When people bury bitterness inside and deny it, it often morphs into a person who is jaded.. Being jaded is a self destructive trait which ironically protects you from exterior heartache from others yet perpetuates interior pain nurtured from within yourself...
I do believe that some cynicism is healthy and balances out the naive aspects within our core, and protects us from emotional harm.. | |
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| What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/14/2009 7:16:45 PM | | You can be realistic and accept the way the world is without being jaded and bitter. Being jaded and bitter only attracts other people who are jaded and bitter. Being realistic is just seeing things for what they are. Being bitter and jaded are reactions. You can't change reality, but you can change how you react to it. | |
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| What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/14/2009 7:32:29 PM | I like what 10of6 had to say.
In my own opinion, we have become more concerned with aiming to please others, by appearing polite and politically correct.
I'm not advocating rudeness and ignorance, but I am advocating that we admit and accept that shitty things can and will happen to good people, and that good people have the right and a need to grieve, be angered, and perhaps a little cautious.
Life is not fair..nor should we delude ourselves that it is. I am neither a pessimist nor an optimist but a REALIST.
Although I feel I am the master of my own destiny by taking actions and making informed decision and necessary change, when CRAP happens, I get pissed, and I'll tell you when I'm annoyed. WHY? Because I'm human and I'm real.
BTW....I can also laugh at myself and others. | |
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| What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/14/2009 7:34:40 PM | I dont see anything wrong with being jaded , bitter , angry , hurt or sad ...
If we do not feel those things then the whole world would be like ppl on
H  ppy pills all the time ... lol ... After a while it would get on your nerves ... lol ...
Just a little humor there .. but seriously it is another human emotion that has been with man kind for millions of years so why not be human and allow yourself and others to feel a natural human emotion ... Maybe if ppl wouldnt try to cover up and hold in their real feelings then there wouldnt be so any ppl on happy pills during a bitter time or later on in life ... Let the feelings be known to yourself and others (Im not saying be a b*tch tho) and so you can get passed it sooner ...
AnglFLyn | |
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| What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/14/2009 7:47:09 PM | Op,hopefully 'jaded' is just temporary........a passing feeling,whereas,like another poster said,'bitter' implies a certain permanency which is NOT attractive.
I have a friend,whom i fondly called "Bat" = Bitter And Twisted ....now,sadly,she's been this way for years & is a constant reminder to myself that id NEVER wanna end up like her...................the she's not happy unless she's miserable 'type'.....
So,i remain pretty happy with life in general but with a big dose of Cynacism thrown in for good measure........!!
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| What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/14/2009 8:02:59 PM | to be cautious is one thing and may well keep you safe.
to be jaded is akin to being bigoted and may keep you from seeing something , or someone very special
bitter and twisted i have experience when someone thinks you will do all the awful things that their last bad partner did and suspects for no good reason thus cancelling out any oppportunity for something good to transpire | |
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| What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/14/2009 8:06:05 PM | To be jaded is to be bored by a repetition of an experience.
To be bitter is to be angered by no experiences at all.
You can guard your heart but, really, what else do you have to offer?
Remaining jaded or bitter requires a lot of energy and vigilance.
Attracting people who like people who are jaded and bitter are unpleasant. | |
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| What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/14/2009 8:16:45 PM | I like all the posts. Thanks.
I just think bitterness is just an emotion. People get all freaked out if they feel bitter about something. I think it's okay. I can't bury or hide my emotions. I have to walk through what ever I'm feeling. When I get to the other side I've learned something. Being bitter is what kept me dwelling in the experience long enough to learn from it.If I could have just let it go I wouldn't have given it a second thought.
Maybe now I have some apathy because I already know where some paths lead. I'm not willing to invest or place energy into something I can pretty much guess the outcome. It maybe cynical or jaded but I think it saves me some greif. Why repeat history. I've been bitter but it didn't make me stupid. | |
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| What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/14/2009 8:36:55 PM | perhaps its my own spin on "jaded" , but to me it means no longer responding to the same stimuli with the same energy.. novelty freaks not caring if something is new
If "Jaded" means you no longer seek a goal that now seems unworthy of your effort then there is a possibility that growth has snuck up unexpectedly and you have raised the bar but haven't become aware of it .. your next target has yet to be defined | |
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| What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/14/2009 8:59:31 PM | Who the hell wants to start a relationship with a person with a chip on their shoulder or one that thinks ALL men/women are the same?
Bitter=lonely.
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AMEN! to that. | |
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| What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/14/2009 9:07:45 PM | What's so wrong with being jaded? Well, it means you still harbor a form of baggage... anger, resentment, hurt, what ever emotion you can think of.
The problem with jaded... it affects your future relationships and is often the reason people find themselves alone.
Gosh is anyone had a reason for being jaded and bitter it would be me. My Ex decided to divorce me after a cancer diagnosis. The thing is... while it hurt me for a while, feeling jaded or bitter only hurt me. Not the person who caused the feelings.
So feelings of bitter or jaded only hurt yourself in the long run.... | |
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| What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/14/2009 9:09:05 PM | | There is nothing wrong with it IF that is the kind of person you want to attract. If you are angry, jaded, or bitter, you will tend to see more of that in your life. If you are positive, upbeat, and optimistic, you will see more of that in your life. This is evident everywhere. The office grouches tend to hang together and remind everyone how bad things are. The drama kings / queens know what is happening in everyone's life, so much so that it starts happening in their own. The optimistic crowd is the one that solves most of the problems, yet has time for vacation. Think about the kind of people you want to be around, and strive for that mindset. | |
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| What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/14/2009 9:10:45 PM | | Attitude is a direct reflection of personal experience. Positive results=positive attitude, vice versa. Direct relationship. | |
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| What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/14/2009 10:14:54 PM | I like to eat a raw lemon here and there. They're good and good for you.
However, I wouldn't like to eat nothing but lemons all day, every day, for the rest of my life.
Nothing wrong with having a sour taste in your mouth after having been scorned or wronged. It's natural and healthy.
So yeah, a little bit bitter from time to time is fine.
But to me, jaded says that you have bitter on continuous replay.
I would not be interested in a woman that is jaded by men that cheat.
Why? Because it tells me that she is expecting me to cheat.
So then, I have to feel the burden of proof that not all men are the same??
And if she's expecting me to cheat...why is she with me to begin with??? Self-fulfilling prophecy??
No thanks, I'll pass on all that.
I'd rather be with a woman that is happy, want to make me happy, and wants me to make her happy.
Because that's where I'm at in life. | |
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| What's so Wrong with Being Jaded?
Posted: 1/14/2009 10:17:15 PM | I was surfing the forums and SHAZZAM! I caught this one and guess what??? I'm the guy! The one who admitted I was bitter and that also it is the kiss of death. Yes! There is no mistake, it was me and also I said that women were born to lie, which got me into a world of sh1t.
Why do I say and do these things? I am childish and I crave attention. Yup. I'm a troll. Don't feed me.
I'm am no longer bitter. I am not jaded, I am cynical. Alright...I have a sense of irony.
I'm sorry I lied about women being liars.
Edit: Hey! Wait a minute DD, you're the one who slagged me for being bitter. Forgive me for my cheap shot on the ladies? Please?
msg 21 Hey! MY ex gave me the boot when I had cancer. What does that earn me in bitterness points? | |
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