| We Just Can't Let Go...
Posted: 1/14/2009 6:54:56 PM | I met my ex in May of 08 and then he moved away for a job which was 2 hours away. We tried doing the long distance thing but I absolutely hate long distance relationships! I hate the feeling that you have a special someone...but you can't HAVE them. They're not there...you only have technology or hear their voice and I felt lonely.
Anyway, we broke up twice but both times it was for a very short period. We just cannot let each other go, we couldn't even last 3 days without speaking to each other! Things even went wrong when we broke up; from both our grandmothers dying, having car trouble and my brother ending up in the hospital and he had problems at work, he almost got fired. Haha, I know that sounds kinda silly...but it's just weird. But I'm just really confused on what I should do....our relationship seems really complicated but ... maybe we belong together, idk.
Right now, I don't even know what we are. He's visiting this weekend and I'm really happy to see him. For some reason, we come back to each other and won't let go...
Any thoughts or comments would help.
--Confused. | |
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| We Just Can't Let Go...
Posted: 1/14/2009 7:12:00 PM | | Somebody's going to have to move. Sounds like it's probably going to be you. | |
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| We Just Can't Let Go...
Posted: 1/14/2009 7:35:58 PM | | Well, you can't let go because you two aren't finished being with each other yet. You need to see things through, however it progresses. I am in the same boat with a man who is two hours away....we are both established in our careers and have involved family lives that include children and parents. We broke up twice also, and couldn't stand not being together. We have had a one year meeting (one year last week) and we discussed many things and decided that since we love each other, we just want to be together as much as we can. The rest is, as they say, bittersweet. It's quite a connection that we share, and it is love. I just have stopped trying to fit it into a box. It is what it is and it lives, breathes, and grows. I hope you find the peace and happiness that I have found with my man. There will always be challenges in any relationship, no matter what the circumstances. I have decided to look at the sunny side of the street and that works very well for me. Peace and love to you. | |
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| We Just Can't Let Go...
Posted: 1/14/2009 7:38:34 PM | | When you think about the good parts of this relationship, do you see...what happens, or what could potentially happen? | |
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| We Just Can't Let Go...
Posted: 1/14/2009 7:51:31 PM | I suggest these things.
Have big long talks about where each of you sees yourself in the future.
I'm talking long term. What kind of work you want to have. What type of place you want. Money issues. Et cetera.
Kids? Pets? How to treat them?
Really be honest with yourself and take time to think about whether or not your future would match up.
Don't fall in love with the fantasy of what might be--- really think about what you want.
Don't be scared that they're the only one out there for you--- there are other people out there and sometimes you get caught up obsessing about past relationships cause there is no one new to think about.
Then if you guys see yourself together, you gotta be brave and move.
Well someone does.
If you don't see yourself together in the future for whatever reason.... then you gotta be brave and end it as best you can. Serious talks about why it won't work are good. Taking time to say goodbye is good.
Chemistry and love are sometimes the last things to go when a relationship ends but those are the things that might make you restart something that shouldn't be restarted. | |
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| We Just Can't Let Go...
Posted: 1/14/2009 9:48:21 PM | | It's obvious. You are in love. You don't need to be confused. It is hard to let go of someone you love, and it is hard to be away from them. I don't know if he feels the same way, but I am pretty sure I know how you feel. Jessko, right above my post, had some good thoughts on it with some practical advice. Somebody might have to move, or you might have to let it go. Sometimes letting go can hurt, but you end up with improvements that exceed the regrets. It is a serious decision. | |
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| We Just Can't Let Go...
Posted: 1/14/2009 10:05:05 PM |
Things even went wrong when we broke up; from both our grandmothers dying, having car trouble and my brother ending up in the hospital and he had problems at work,
Sounds to me like fate was stepping in trying to tell you that you were meant to be together.
Long distance relationships can be hard.... and if not being w/ him and seeing him each day bothers you that much, then move to where he is (providing you are able to). Otherwise, you are going to have to just deal w/ the long distance thing for a while till another solution can be made. Sounds like you two are into each other...why let that go because of a 2 hour drive?? If your heart says stay with him, then listen to it! | |
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| We Just Can't Let Go...
Posted: 1/14/2009 10:14:50 PM | Yep, you are in love...why not try to make some changes so that you can be together? Two hours away is little... I lived 3000km away from my love, he was on the other side of the country.
Didn't work out.
But it can for you! | |
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| We Just Can't Let Go...
Posted: 1/14/2009 10:21:13 PM | I'm going to have to agree with everyone else here. It's worth sticking in there to be together for now. It sounds as if you both need each other and have yet to discover what else is in store for you. In the big picture, 2 hours really isn't that far away! Appreciate what you have now and enjoy the time you're able to spend together. Yes, it can be lonely but think how difficult it would be for you if tech abilities didn't exist.
Hope it all continues to work out and be good! Best of luck.
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| We Just Can't Let Go...
Posted: 1/15/2009 6:24:36 AM | OP, I read your profile and see you are in school. Are you in a program? If not and you're just doing prereqs right now, I would finish the semester and go from there. In the mean while you can get in touch with a collage near him and see what credits can transfer. I know the weather has been bad lately (I'm in the same town) but if you take the time and effort, it could be worth it. Just follow the advice that JessOK gave you and see what the two of you want out of life. If there are enough simularities, I would keep persuing the relationship. If not at least you know now and can get too a place where both of you can move on.
Good Luck, Me | |
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| We Just Can't Let Go...
Posted: 1/15/2009 6:38:19 AM |
...Any thoughts or comments would help....
Get yourself a quarter and flip it. | |
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| We Just Can't Let Go...
Posted: 1/15/2009 6:41:46 AM | | Me and my ex were the same way. Dated for 8 months then i moved away for business. Its been almost 3 years and we are off and on its crazy. Im in love with her but im just not ready for the kids and all she has to offer.. Oh well good luck on your journey I feel mine is almost over. | |
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| We Just Can't Let Go...
Posted: 1/15/2009 8:27:47 AM | Two hours away? I agree with the poster who said that's nothing. I used to drive an hour to work each way.
Move to the middle. | |
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| We Just Can't Let Go...
Posted: 1/15/2009 10:32:35 AM |
Two hours? That's all?
Suck it up.
Yea, what she said!
It's 2 hours away. It's not like you have to travel clear across the country, or to the other side of the planet. Eesh, this is just another example of people not willing to put any real effort into a relationship because it's "too hard" when in fact, it ain't at all.
Sad. | |
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| We Just Can't Let Go...
Posted: 1/15/2009 10:42:02 AM | 2 hours is nothing, when you have something like that.....if you two want to be together, you will both be willing to make some sacrifices in order to make it work. Seems to me if neither one of you can close the book on this relationship, it's meant to stay open. Good luck to you!  | |
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| We Just Can't Let Go...
Posted: 1/15/2009 10:45:33 AM | "Two hours? That's all?"
"Suck it up."
Aza you made a boo-boo, the blow job thread is datta way --------------------->
And kudos to you for not getting lock jaw after 2 hours. | |
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| We Just Can't Let Go...
Posted: 1/15/2009 12:59:38 PM | I agree with Azaea too!
My stepson is two hours away and has been in court because of his kids a dozen times in the last couple of months. I can get my kids up for school, drive the two hours to be at court at 9, do the court thing and be back before they get home from school.
If the only problem is the distance, suck it up or transfer schools. It might be better for you two to be apart during the week to allow you to study and then spend your weekends free and with each other.
Otherwise suck it up and really break up. There is no such thing as you "can't" leave him alone. If he were beating you up, we would all tell you to leave him alone so you two need to decide whether you are in or out and then stick to it. | |
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