| Hi!
Posted: 1/17/2009 6:07:17 PM | Okay I would like a profile review please
one request- please pay attention to my written profile that is what I am looking for critique on
any suggestions and changes would be welcome, I think it's quite representive of me, but a little polish never hurts, right?
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thank you in advance | |
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| Hi!
Posted: 1/17/2009 8:21:46 PM | I don't get your headline.
It seems like you have a thing for mannequins, honestly.
How is you reading a book aloud to a woman on a date adventurous? I just don't see it. | |
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| Hi!
Posted: 1/17/2009 8:31:34 PM | I liked your profile. I found a few typos...
that's, reading, favorite
You lost it here...
The lady I am looking for, She is funny, openminded, easy going, enjoys the outdoors, yet is completely happy with a soft couch and good bowl of popcorn, she need not be a social butterfly, but ok if she is, she can be profound and wise beyond her years, also have a killer sense of humor, and willing to be silly on herself, and myself at times. I like ladies who are close to my height, with lovely shoulder length or longer hair, but not totally against short hair either. few extra pounds cool with that.
In your first sentence, delete: , She
and punctuate: popcorn. She
punctuate: ok if she is. She can be profound
punctuate: either. Few
Good luck to you. | |
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| Hi!
Posted: 1/18/2009 10:32:49 AM | ok made some changes
took out the adventurous part
is my sense of humor that bad that people misunderstand what i am trying to do there?
and made some changes to the punctuation hope that passes now if not please say so.
Yes i realize my punctuation is quite bad
hoping to have some help with that (gulp yes i need some help)
also the headline was meant to be funny, of course i am not ever close to being on the f.b.i.'s most wanted list, they dont even know i exist nor does any law enforcement agency
I am very well behaved! | |
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| Hi!
Posted: 1/18/2009 10:45:39 AM |
I am patient, hardworking, easy to get along with, enjoy travel, very easy to talk to, trustworthy, considerate, affectionate, socialable, warm, I have a number of hobbies that I enjoy. I also like the challenge of doing something thats new to me.
I love sitting down under a nice shade tree and read a good page turner,..some of my fav authors are, Clive Cussler, Tom Clancy,and Brad Thor. ( I love the characters in these books, funny, sarcastic, heroic, and the adventures that they go on, mostly around the world, and in different settings or scenarios.) The first thing that pops into my mind is: how is it that you are patient, easy going, trustworthy, etc. This is simply a list of words as it stands; because, if you don't provide evidence of these traits they are meaningless. For example, (and a bad one at that) I consider myself patient because I am willing to wait for... (spelling: sociable, that's or that is)
as for the list of your favorite authors, I doubt that she would be interested in reading that right off the bat. This is the sort of thing that you would include in a conversation, not in your profile. You're trying to see yourself as a product (hehe gigalo) so,spend more time describing yourself, rather than your interests. Besides, there is a section for your interests, so it is best not to clutter up your profile. Streamline it!
My favorite movies: Swordfish, John Travolta so evil, but oh so cool and in control. Faceoff, same evil but really unpredictable! Lonesome Dove the mini series, Robert Duvall as Augustus McRae, wow kind of scampish, a little bit of a philosopher, and mix in a little rough and tough will do anything to get the job done. Star wars geek! nuff said! see comment just above
Need not be a social butterfly, but ok if she is. try using, but it is alright if she is (sound better than your grammatical misuse of ok)
open minded is well, two words,
mannikins
mannequins | |
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| Hi!
Posted: 1/18/2009 10:58:50 AM | Hi there. ^.^
I'm not complete with a "Perfect-Profile", but it never hurts to have reviews from all types of people if you ask me. I must admit however, based on what I read, you are rather unique. Unique is interesting, so hopefully others will be able to get a good vibe from it.
As for the editing: You may want to slim down on what you are like. You have "patient, hardworking, easy to get along with, enjoy travel, very easy to talk to, trustworthy, considerate, affectionate, socialable, warm, I have a number of hobbies that I enjoy", which is 11 things. While it is good to let others know what you are like, you may want to consider the option that you might have too much about yourself. Some people may consider you being into your personality too much. Maybe it's just me? I try to stick with the basics about my personality, otherwise I could think of tons of things as you have.
Also; if you DO decide to keep it all, you may want to add an "and", after *warm*, so it's more like "sociable, warm, and have a number of hobbies I enjoy". If not, you kinda just ran it on into something different. With that being said, you may want to edit your spelling of the word "Socialable", into "Sociable". You have it spelled wrong. ;)
For the second part, you may want to possibly just remove this, or edit it into "My favorite movies are "Swordfish", starring John Travolta, who is evil but in control. "Faceoff", the mini series of "Lonesome Dove", and "Star Wars". This, if you ask me, sounds more thought out/organized.
As for the third part about what girl you're looking for, well that's your call. No-one on POF knows what type of woman you're searching for, other than yourself. I'm not really an expert in this area. Maybe a review from a lady herself, would be more appropriate. I hope this helped, and goodluck. ^_^ | |
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| Hi!
Posted: 1/18/2009 11:48:13 AM | ok once more into the breach, lol
I have made some more changes based on you kind folks that are helping me.
have another look and thank you again! | |
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| Hi!
Posted: 1/18/2009 12:00:29 PM | It looks alrite to me. ^_^
Goodluck. | |
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| Hi!
Posted: 1/18/2009 2:11:41 PM | thanks again for the help
much appreciated | |
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