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 misssexyprincess
Joined: 5/10/2008
Msg: 1
men who like to be dominant sexually and the women who like it Page 1 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
I am curious why men like to be "dominant" in the bedroom ? Does it turn you on to pull hair, spank , talk dirty , etc .....? what other things do u enjoy about it ?

On the other hand , why do women like it so much ?

Thanks for your input !!!!
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 2
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men who like to be dominant sexually and the women who like it
Posted: 1/18/2009 7:36:25 PM
I'm not sure I can explain why I like it.....
I just know that I do!

But I also like to be the aggressive one sometimes.....
wouldn't really call it "dominant"......it's about it being my turn to play!!
 EvilLolli
Joined: 12/7/2008
Msg: 3
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men who like to be dominant sexually and the women who like it
Posted: 1/18/2009 7:43:05 PM
The really simple answer............
Whether its the man or woman thats dominant, they like it because..........
IT'S FUN!!!
 misssexyprincess
Joined: 5/10/2008
Msg: 4
men who like to be dominant sexually and the women who like it
Posted: 1/18/2009 7:51:46 PM
I know its fun, im not looking for the simple answer, i want the deep down , gut wrenching reason you like it.

For me , it is becouse i have control over everything else in my life, so when in the bedroom, i dont want control.......
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 5
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men who like to be dominant sexually and the women who like it
Posted: 1/18/2009 7:56:56 PM
that would probably be the best answer for me as well.....
I don't have to think......just feel
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 6
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men who like to be dominant sexually and the women who like it
Posted: 1/18/2009 8:04:18 PM
People want what they want for various reasons. I'm just the opposite to you.. have no (or limited) control in my life, so want (need) it where I can get it. I have always been more sexually agressive than 90% of the men I've had relationships with. Being sexually agressive doesn't make you dominant tho.

I like my hair pulled because it feels good. Helps relief the tension in my scalp.. was actually suggested/recommended by my physio for my TMJ. In certain positions, doing it causes certain predictible reactions in other areas of the body... which 'causes him to react vocally.. which makes me squirm and pull against his hand in my hair... I like pulling his because it turns him into a giant puddle of goo right before me.. which makes me squirm.

I FEED off the reactions of my partner. I do things to make them react. When they react, I am a happy girlie. I can't get the same reaction unless I am in control of what happens.

There are physiological responses to pain or certain stimulation such as spanking or raking nails down the back. Each person will react differently... some shrink away from it, some crave it. I look for that reaction... because I want to make it happen again and again and again..
 pinlynch10
Joined: 12/16/2008
Msg: 7
men who like to be dominant sexually and the women who like it
Posted: 1/18/2009 8:20:01 PM
I think that control (self-control, indulgence, etc.) is a little overrated. I myself choose to be versatile in the bedroom, leaving her as much opportunity to "take the reigns" as I like to. I tend to leave the opportunity for more creativity for each of us. I'm not afraid of being the leader, nor do I fear following.

With the right person, a shared sexual experience can be absolutely hot!!

 Kevinc!
Joined: 8/28/2008
Msg: 8
men who like to be dominant sexually and the women who like it
Posted: 1/18/2009 8:27:21 PM
the answer is really quiet simple women in power like CEO or PRESIDENT of compianes or any other type of women in power like head nureses teacheres or some high up in power like to have the Domniate figure at home telling them what to do its like during day they have so much responsiblity when they get home they want some one to tell them what to do and not having to do for the m selfs i had one girl when she got home i could tell when we gonna be intamite she would do any thing i asked i mean she really like to be dominated as soon as we hit bedroom i mean pull hair talk dirty spank ass all that kinky stuff she would not even think of doing in real world
 nostate
Joined: 1/9/2009
Msg: 9
men who like to be dominant sexually and the women who like it
Posted: 1/18/2009 8:31:40 PM
GREAT! Like we all don't get enough Dr Phil on TV!!

NOW we're all wanting to play him in the forums.

I'm gonna shave a big old bald patch on my head now and get a beer gut.

...hold it! I've already got one. All I needs the cheesy mustache and a lobotomy.

 REDDRAGON.
Joined: 10/9/2008
Msg: 10
men who like to be dominant sexually and the women who like it
Posted: 1/18/2009 8:42:16 PM
no because I'm the one that likes having my hair pulled and getting spanked....
 DAVE632
Joined: 6/17/2006
Msg: 11
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men who like to be dominant sexually and the women who like it
Posted: 1/18/2009 8:58:20 PM
Don't forget that we are, on a genetic level, barely out of the stone age. Technically the thrill is probably very deep-seated ( ) in that it appeals to a woman's base instinct for survival and breeding with a similar human. A male who was aggressive and took what he wanted was likely a good provider back when grocery stores were a million years away still. It also meant that sexually your children would likely have the same characteristics and hence have a far greater chance of survival and continuing that (your) genetic lines into the future. The neeed to breeed is one of our highest priorities and anything we do that mimics our prehistoric aggressiveness will add a bit of a thrill to the mixture today - despite what some women's groups would have us believe about our brutish ways.


Does it turn you on to pull hair, spank , talk dirty , etc .....? what other things do u enjoy about it ?
On the other hand , why do women like it so much ?


If you want to just forget our genes the answer is simple. For SOME women / men / couples it is JUST FUN and erotic and HOT !!! It doesn't have to be a lifestyle choice. It can just be a variation to normal sex that is different from what you usually do and variation makes and KEEEPS sex fun.

 Shibari Man
Joined: 3/22/2008
Msg: 12
men who like to be dominant sexually and the women who like it
Posted: 1/18/2009 11:03:02 PM

am curious why men like to be "dominant" in the bedroom ? Does it turn you on to pull hair, spank , talk dirty , etc .....?


yes...yes it does. And I do much more than what's listed above.


what other things do u enjoy about it ?


what do I like about being dominant? I like being in total control. I really like providing intense stimulations (both pleasurable and painful). I get excited when I hear a submissive woman cry, scream, babble, and moan with pleasure and/or pain. I like the way a female body looks when wrapped up in rope, and the marks left behind when the ropes come off.


On the other hand , why do women like it so much ?


I haven't got a clue. But I like it when they do.
 tuezdaye
Joined: 12/11/2008
Msg: 13
men who like to be dominant sexually and the women who like it
Posted: 1/18/2009 11:38:27 PM

I know its fun, im not looking for the simple answer, i want the deep down , gut wrenching reason you like it.


"Like" is not the right word for me. I don't "like" it, even though I crave it.

I've made love without the rough stuff and the power games and it was good, very good even. But when I met a lover who handcuffed me to a sprinkler system atop a six foot step ladder and without a word palmed his keys, his sunglasses and left me there while he went to buy cigarettes I knew I had met my match. I finally had the experience of my partner manifesting for me in the physical world what I had experienced emotionally for my entire sexual history: that love, sex, desire, orgasm and intimacy are painful, that they're about control, restraint, power and pain. My internal/emotional world was finally being described and enacted by my body. I'd found a language to communicate to my lover what it felt like to love. And apparently he felt the same way too. I was held, controlled, mesmerized and enthralled by him. Throughout our relationship we had some very risky sex, communicating to each other and allowing each other to experience again and again that internal drama that love and sex are terrifying and dangerous, that we are at great risk because we love.

I haven't had ethical or moral concerns over my sexuality but I have wondered if I was scarred or broken or something since as far back as I can remember when I've discussed sex with people and described intercourse, orgasm and love as excruciating pain they've thought I needed a gynecologist and a therapist, but I've gone to both and gotten a clean bill of health. I think I'm just a very odd woman in some ways.
 molly_
Joined: 11/29/2008
Msg: 14
men who like to be dominant sexually and the women who like it
Posted: 1/19/2009 2:33:11 AM
Well sometimes its a release....job is stressful etc. Just nice to feel someone else controlling events at times. Having said that...theres times I want to be the one in control too. Its a need I have..some can cope with it some cant. Hey ho thats life.
 phillym30
Joined: 11/7/2008
Msg: 15
men who like to be dominant sexually and the women who like it
Posted: 1/19/2009 2:48:49 AM
sometimes its fun to dominate and sometimes i like to beg for it
 NInoodle
Joined: 11/20/2008
Msg: 16
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men who like to be dominant sexually and the women who like it
Posted: 1/19/2009 3:42:36 AM
from what i have done in the past, it is just a whole lot of being able to let yourself go and not be in control, everything we do in life is controlled so its good to let yourself go and let happen what will.
 Forumhobbit
Joined: 10/27/2008
Msg: 17
men who like to be dominant sexually and the women who like it
Posted: 1/19/2009 4:23:01 AM
Believe it or not, a lot of it can come from where they are in life. Someone who's a gopher or low man on the totem pole at work tends to be dominate at home and someone who's high up/executive/decision maker/controller in every day life wants to be submissive at home. Sometimes you just need a break from everyday life...as for the sexual aspect of it, both can be fun if w/ the right partner.
 sweet lady Lori
Joined: 3/19/2008
Msg: 18
men who like to be dominant sexually and the women who like it
Posted: 1/19/2009 5:40:22 AM
I am pretty sure not ALL men like to be dominant and ALL women like it so much. Perhaps the word "some" in front of each would have been more appropriate (?)

For I don't prefer one or the other...
...a healthy mix of both, by both, is more like it
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 19
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men who like to be dominant sexually and the women who like it
Posted: 1/19/2009 6:15:39 AM

the answer is really quiet simple women in power like CEO or PRESIDENT of compianes or any other type of women in power like head nureses teacheres or some high up in power like to have the Domniate figure at home telling them what to do its like during day they have so much responsiblity when they get home they want some one to tell them what to do and not having to do for the m selfs


This isn't limited strictly to women. I know a lot of men who are like this too.
 Incuubus2113
Joined: 12/8/2008
Msg: 20
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men who like to be dominant sexually and the women who like it
Posted: 1/19/2009 6:33:45 AM

the answer is really quiet simple women in power like CEO or PRESIDENT of compianes or any other type of women in power like head nureses teacheres or some high up in power like to have the Domniate figure at home telling them what to do its like during day they have so much responsiblity when they get home they want some one to tell them what to do and not having to do for the m selfs


Personally I don't think it's so complex. We think we're such an advanced society today in everything we do, and we are! However, there are still portions of our society today which can trace their origins back to our primal natural evolution. Women enjoy being submissive and men dominate from time to time because it's been that way for eons. Not so much to do with the fact that she may be in a position of power or he may be in a submissive position in work during day and more about primal, animalistic coupling to the nth degree.

Plus, there is the wonderful ability for some women after the fact to simply say, "I don't know why we had sex. It just happened," after a man persues and/or initiates sex himself sometimes. Women sometimes enjoy when a man knows what he wants and, for lack of a better term, goes out and takes it :)

This isn't for everyone, of course. I've only recently started experiencing and experimenting with it myself and used to be quite like what No1baby described, quite submissive in sex to the woman. Being raised by my mom I believe has a lot to do with it. Also, my thinking was, "She has the power of the pu$$y, it's up to her what we do, so I'll just go along." Having done so I have discovered some hidden powers of my sex. Some portions of which can, when the planets align, make some women squirm. It's awesome.

Don't get me wrong, I always enjoyed the hair pulling, the ass spanking, and the dirty talk (lol how can you go w/out that?) but now it's more about a "I am a man and she is a woman and let's see how THAT plays out" (which covers a LOT of different aspects of one's life) and attitude that is carrying me to different and exciting places I quite like to visit.

This is NOT about dominating a woman in ALL aspects at all. She still retains her sense of self, identity, and FREEDOM and you are CERTAINLY not being forceful, just more simply taking the role that evolution has provided you in the bedroom, to not put too fine a point on it.

No ALWAYS means no, gentlemen.
 DeagleNINja2
Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 21
men who like to be dominant sexually and the women who like it
Posted: 1/19/2009 7:05:05 AM

sometimes its fun to dominate and sometimes i like to beg for it


I've spent most of my life begging for it...not fun
 openminded87
Joined: 5/3/2007
Msg: 22
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men who like to be dominant sexually and the women who like it
Posted: 1/19/2009 8:57:55 AM
Why is it fun?

Because men have no control in a relationship, so when they get the chance they like to use it as much as possible LoL

Honestly though I have no idea why I like it so much, Men are generally stronger and like to show off by throwing the woman around or holding her down....Also I think we are conditioned a bit by the porn industry that shows sex as a male dominated situation. There are various reasons but the #1 reason is it feels good and it's fun. Remember that most guys will like to be the submissive one too sometimes
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 23
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men who like to be dominant sexually and the women who like it
Posted: 1/19/2009 9:15:06 AM
I have decided.......after reading many of these threads......
that I don't think nearly enough!!

Guess I'm just not one of these people that needs to know why I do things.....or why someone else is doing things.

Sure...I have times of reflection, especially after the end of a relationship.....

But when it comes to sex.......I don't need to know why I enjoy certain acts.....
I just enjoy them.
 Bagherra
Joined: 6/9/2005
Msg: 24
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men who like to be dominant sexually and the women who like it
Posted: 1/19/2009 9:46:55 AM
A big part of the reason for some men... certainly why I got into it, is because the reaction is so intense.
When it is positive.
Learning when it is likely to be a positive reaction has been the real education but I digress.

Seriously, take away the value judgements & look at kink dispassionately. If you were to evoke such a strong response from kissing in a certain way or by massaging feet, cooking dinner or sharing your feelings... wouldn't you want to do it more?

Ands that's the real reason that I enjoy non standard interactions... almost.
 mrtonks42
Joined: 3/31/2008
Msg: 25
men who like to be dominant sexually and the women who like it
Posted: 1/19/2009 10:29:15 AM
Depends on the moment, not to keen on the talking dirty or being slapped on the arse but like a bit of heat, but each to there own.
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