| | Age GapsPage 1 of 3 (1, 2, 3) | Do people on the site believe that when it comes to dating that age is just a number or do they think a 30 year old male/female seeing an 18 year old female/male is wrong?
Just throwing it out there | |
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| Age Gaps
Posted: 1/20/2009 5:28:57 PM | For the deleter who put this thread up for deletion....how is this thread redundant on a local forum where this aspect of age gap relationships up for discussion has not been discussed before ?
Do you think you could tell us why Mr. or Mrs. A. Nonymous ???
OT:..
I honestly wouldn't judge anybody or how they live but I could have a problem if my soon to be 18 yr old daughter suddenly started dating a 30 yr old man - I think I'd probably kill him unless he proved to be a good influence and a genuinely nice person...
With age..I do think it is just a number because many of us mature earlier or develop later depending upon our own personal experiences of life so I don't think that it's awful, sleazy or strange that in this scenario of a 30 yr old dating an 18 yr old have both chosen to date each other, it really depends more upon what stage of life both people are at and what they are hoping to get out of dating each other..
If it's just a casual thing, I'd encourage it because getting to know people from different walks of life is good for you...but if the older person was someone who was a parent/divorced/seperated I would question what they would get out of seeing someone who's life experience didn't match their own because I'd wonder how they could relate on an emotional level and how that relationship could evolve into a healthy one for both people concerned.
It's hard to say...I think people should be brave enough to do what their heart compels them to do and just enjoy what life has to offer and not bother about what other people think.
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| Age Gaps
Posted: 1/20/2009 11:16:15 PM | | age gaps it more so a prob at the young teens i wud have no prob if one of my friends was dating a 18 or a 50 year old as long as they are both happy | |
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| Age Gaps
Posted: 1/21/2009 2:05:32 AM | | Age is just a number, but ............................ personally I do have an age range. | |
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bam j
| | Joined: 1/4/2007
Msg: 5 | |
| Age Gaps
Posted: 1/21/2009 7:38:01 AM | 18 dating 30 ~?? would you comfortably date a 18 if you were 30 ?
there are acceptions to every rule ... but i do think as a rule a 10 age gap is not a prob once the younger is over say 22 ... personally i think that once your 25 you should have rulled out teens .
people are sure as sh it going to judge and you would be at least the butt of many a joke !!
it mite be abit sexist but i would find a 18 year old bloke dating a 30 yr old far less awkard than a 30 yr old guy dating a 18 ..... | |
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| Age Gaps
Posted: 1/21/2009 8:09:51 AM | thought id add my 2c worth as a 19 yr old who's been hit on by older guys,
usually, i must say, the thought of a guy in his thirties creeped me out a bit, as miss grundy said about the life stages etc i would usually say that theres no way two people at those ages could be compatible. i mean, if i was to start dating a 30 year old he would definitely be way more experienced in life than myself, and i would think (or at least hope, for his sake) that he'd had more relationship experience than me as well. i would be admittedly very naive to what he's been through in life. Especially if he's come from a serious long-term relationship - how would a 30 year old woman feel to be replaced by someone 10 years her junior?! i imagine it'd be hard for everyone involved, as bam j said, everyone would be getting a hard time. and thats just when there are no children in the situation.
saying that though, ive made friends with a guy hitting forty off of here and we get on very well, we've definitely clicked and i can see us being long-term friends. he doesnt pretend to be half his age, and i dont pretend to be at the same lifestage or level of understanding as him. but we do understand each others situations very well and while i make him laugh he's someone i can go to with anything i want to get off my chest. Its not impossible to click with someone twice your age.
But you have to make sure you dont end up like Ross from Friends and Elizabeth, one of his girlfriends who was a student in the university he lectured at (whose father Rachel was dating at the same time). He thought it was going well but ended up seeing vast differences in their maturity, especially as when he breaks up with her she attacks him with water balloons.
It seems like a big deal to us, but a generation or two ago it really wasnt. When my grandparents married, my grandad was 39 and my Gran was 21. Forty years on, theyre still the sickeningly sweet old couple you see holding hands on the street.
I think there's no textbook answer on this. It really just depends on the girl and the guy. | |
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| Age Gaps
Posted: 1/21/2009 8:25:01 AM | | With regards to sexual peak ''THEY'' say an 18 year old guy and a 30year old woman are matched, but really would an 18 year old guy have the know how or experience to deliver the goods? | |
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| Age Gaps
Posted: 1/21/2009 8:52:16 AM | | on that note. an older women trains the younger guy. the older guy trains the younger woman. Oddly enough my first wife was 8 yrs older than myself. My second one was a year older. Hopefully my next, never say never. is a lot younger. true i always heard that men are at their peak at 18 but with viagra and the so called 4 hr erection i don't think that part of it really applies anymore. If i could define and bottle the cause and effect of attraction i would be rich. All of my life i have mostly dated older women. I could not tell you the mystry of this but it just happened that way. In case you haven't looked i am 55. Love is ageless after all. | |
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| Age Gaps
Posted: 1/21/2009 8:56:48 AM | | An after thought, If you have looked you noticed. any age, religion, nationality, eyes, hair, height. We all have a basic idea of our ideal mate but i would hope we do not limit ourselves to just one thing. we might miss the pearl in the old oyster. | |
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| Age Gaps
Posted: 1/21/2009 9:27:30 AM | That's bollox, everyone has limits for a reason, certain people find other types atractive and thats just a fact of life. We cant control who we are attracted to so my limits are set to the traits that I like.
As I previously stated I have limits on age, I dont judge anyone who is in a relationship with an age gap but its not for me..........maybe it has something to do with the fact that my own Father is still only 47 so the thought of dating anyone around that age or over is a bit gross for me. | |
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| Age Gaps
Posted: 1/21/2009 11:24:29 PM | I can understand that. I don't have age limits only guidelines. And of course I am always flexible. You can't obtain all the information needed at a glance. There have been times when i didn't look for the things i could love but the things that i couldn't love. That is when i can be amazed. It's like give me a reason to leave you but you don't. You have to remember you only have one father. All others are fair game. Mind you i'm only talking about the ones that are single . The gap between us is as far as the distance between ireland and u.s. But that's ok. it's a small world after all. it's a small small world.  | |
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| Age Gaps
Posted: 1/22/2009 2:21:53 AM | | My own personal opinion would be that I don't really care about age, but I am generally happiest when within 10 years of my own age either way. | |
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| Age Gaps
Posted: 1/22/2009 4:30:32 AM | I've always seemed to go for older guys. Ever since I was 15 and had my first proper boyfriend it've always been with someone a wee bit older than me. I don't think its a concious decision I've actually made though.
It all cumulated with me in a relationship with a 40 year old guy when I was 24. 16 years between us. We were happy enough for a while but ultimately it was his mature attitude in life vs my general "I'm still young and a bit irrasponsible" attitude and desire to be out with friends and having fun and coming home at all hours that split us up. I had not long since come out of a 3 year relationship and really hadn't had proper chance to grow up.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, it's not really about your age, it is more to do with your mental maturity and whether the person you are dating is on a similar level as you. Some times age gaps don't make a difference and some times they do.
I'll be honest though, I'd personally think twice about getting into a relationship with someone 16 years older than me. However, if there was a real connection I wouldn't rule it out! | |
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| Age Gaps
Posted: 1/22/2009 7:09:48 AM | Yes I agree 10 years either side is grand but anything more is a bit a generation gap.
Malasam 26 and Zion 55............... yuck, D.O.M comes to mind, I dont think and young woman would like to be chatted up at a bar by someone nearly 30 years older, think about it, a woman hitting 40 and her fella hitting 70? | |
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| Age Gaps
Posted: 1/22/2009 7:18:13 AM | Well I have an age range like most people. I was contacted by a guy aged 20 who took the right hump because I said I wasn't interested - seemingly I wasn't 'mature' enough to realise that he was a mature 20 year old!! WTF
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| Age Gaps
Posted: 1/22/2009 7:36:05 AM | ^^^ oh the arrogance of youth you gotta love it sometimes haha.
Malasam 26 and Zion 55............... yuck, D.O.M comes to mind, I dont think and young woman would like to be chatted up at a bar by someone nearly 30 years older, think about it, a woman hitting 40 and her fella hitting 70?
I have a funny feeling that no matter how hard Zoion works at trying to persuade Malasam that he is perfect for her, he will never manage to convince her but it's fun watching him try.
I particularly enjoyed this line :
There have been times when i didn't look for the things i could love but the things that i couldn't love. That is when i can be amazed.
and the follow up line relating to Malasam's reference to her dad's age and how she couldn't possibly date a man of that age.
You have to remember you only have one father. All others are fair game. Mind you i'm only talking about the ones that are single .
I can't wait to read what else you're going to say on the subject Zoion.
What does D.O.M. mean ? | |
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| Age Gaps
Posted: 1/22/2009 7:43:35 AM | | Deluded Older Man | |
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| Age Gaps
Posted: 1/22/2009 9:22:33 AM | Hi justlittlestaryme,
Is this one of the random non-sensical rambling your say your good at. Then i would agree. Hugh Hefner might not agree with you. Nor would Demi Moore. Just to let you know I am not delusional. You didn't read where i said most of the women i have dated/married were older than me. That doesn't mean i'm totally blind or dead yet.
There is beauty in all ages. I wouldn't reject malasam as a friend because of her youth.
I know who i am and what i am and delusional doesn't fit. I also noticed you didn't add a photo to your profile. Leaves no question of delusion there huh. What do you have to hide? Beauty or the Beast. Oh I do see humor in all aspects of life. Have a great day. | |
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| Age Gaps
Posted: 1/22/2009 9:24:51 AM | Hi Miss Grundy,
There you go! 
Now she has me wondering if i'm a delusional lunatic. | |
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| Age Gaps
Posted: 1/22/2009 9:30:33 AM | I bet if I had a picture up as pretty as malasam's you would be alot nicer to me.
And yes I do think your deluded if you think she is interested, she has already said (although politely) thats shes not | |
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| Age Gaps
Posted: 1/22/2009 9:32:00 AM | | I forgot about Michael Douglas. I bet he's a happy man. Then there was billy bob thorton who was married to angelina jolie. Luckiest guy on the planet. I could do a random rambling but then i would sound like a 26 yr old woman from ireland . | |
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Posted: 1/22/2009 9:36:04 AM | | Gee, now i did it. Funny thing is being of Irish decent any of you could be my relation. Now you know why i hope you all have a great life. some have noticed the resemblance of me to others. It is funny but then again it isn't the first time. | |
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| Age Gaps
Posted: 1/22/2009 10:45:24 AM | Hhhmmmmm I maybe fame and money had alot to do with some of your examples, and the fact that the likes of Michael Douglus & Billy Bob are very sexy men.............
SMASH!!!!!!!!!!!!
Was that you falling back down to reality that i just heard? | |
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| Age Gaps
Posted: 1/22/2009 12:11:49 PM | Bleh, a bit late on this, but that's alright.
I am not too big on an age difference, but a big gap such as a teenager girl/boy going for a 40-50 year old woman/man may be a bit on the "uh oh" side, but that's just my take on it.
Hell there was a man that I had a thing for for awhile, and he was almost double my age at that time. Big whoop.
The only thing I can say is that you should use your best judgment and know what you're getting yourself into, that's all that I really got to say. After all, for all that could be said, that 40 year old guy may be your soul mate, despite you being 22. You just never know! :) | |
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| Age Gaps
Posted: 1/22/2009 12:38:37 PM | Well no that smash wasn't me you heard it was you having reality smacking you in the face. I could give you other examples but you would have never heard of them or believed anything i would be telling you, not that you are now. Age is just a date to mark time. just like the sun and moon mark days and yrs. If you think you are old at 26 then you are old. it's a state of mind and being. Take a look around at the beauty of the ages. It might suprise you. How many times have you met someone and found out they were older than you thought? Men and women. Did you imediately change your perception. I goes back to what i've said about 4 things that influence your life.
1. perception
2. timing
3. known facts
4. unknown facts
these can work indpendantly or in any combination. You can test them whenever you like. Don't take my word for it. It's only my perception. | |
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