| How do you deal with people like this?
Posted: 6/24/2005 8:49:31 AM | Has anyone had any experiences with critical and judgamental people who feel the need to criticize you and tell you what you should and should not do under the guise of being helpful? I just had an experience like that with a classmate of mine. She took it upon herself to criticize what I was wearing. She only speaks to me when she wants to tell me what I should and should not do. I try to avoid her and mind my own business, but she still seeks me out for this stuff and I can't figure out why. | |
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| How do you deal with people like this?
Posted: 6/24/2005 8:59:28 AM | Well you could start by telling her that you like what you wear and if no one else likes it then they should not be looking.
You could always ask her what makes her qualified as an expert.
If you want to get blunt you could tell her if you wanted her advice you'd ask but since you don't you really don't want to hear it.
My sister is like that at times and I politely tell her that I like it just as it is. She soon gets the hint. | |
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Mooks
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Joined: 6/1/2005
Msg: 4 | |
| How do you deal with people like this?
Posted: 6/24/2005 10:41:08 AM | Just tell her for what she knows and 25 cents will get you a cup of coffee at McDonalds
just sounds like a bit of a control thing..don't sweat it
~Mooks~ | |
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| How do you deal with people like this?
Posted: 6/24/2005 11:26:11 AM | just look her up and down then say "oh I'm sorry, by looking at your clothes and how you dressed i didnt realize you had a degree in fashion." then snicker and walk away. if she comments on your clothing again just say "well if you dont like what I wear then dont look and please keep your bully style comments to yourself."
but I do have to ask this question... soooo... what are you wearing... (winks) | |
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w82b
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Joined: 5/9/2005
Msg: 6 | |
| How do you deal with people like this?
Posted: 6/24/2005 11:54:24 AM | As you walk away from her simply state
"Thanks for your meaningless input"
Obviuosly she has self esteem issues of her own and must target someone for comfort. I would tend to think she is a "follower" and her misery seeks company. Let it go and continue being the wonderful person that you are. | |
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| How do you deal with people like this?
Posted: 6/24/2005 12:06:46 PM | Haven't encountered that much, but I would simply say' "Now why does that concern you so much?"
That way she has to explain her rude comments and usually puts a person on the spot.
Oh don't forget to give her that sweet smile :) | |
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| How do you deal with people like this?
Posted: 6/24/2005 2:19:48 PM | i think i would say "excuse me but i dont remember asking you for your opinion" and then walk off
i have a comment about it all....
have you noticed its always the people you want to make comments to but dont, that end up giving everyone else their unsolicited advice/opinions? | |
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| How do you deal with people like this?
Posted: 6/24/2005 2:22:42 PM | better yet...
pull out your gold plated .45 cal guns and point them at her and say "whats wrong with my clothing?"
something about a cute woman with guns does it for me... lol | |
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| How do you deal with people like this?
Posted: 6/24/2005 3:51:33 PM | I think Caressa has it perfectly..... "why would you ask?" or.... "why does it bother you?"
put it back on them without an attitude because otherwise you will get into an argument....you can make it known that when she gets personal you want to know why and so she will have to have a good reason.
or you can say, "well since we are commenting on personal things with each other...why are you so free with your advice? How could you think that I'd want to hear that?"
I would say I am wearing what I wear because I like it. Period. And walk away.
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| How do you deal with people like this?
Posted: 6/24/2005 7:05:19 PM | Thanks for your words of wisdom everybody I feel so much better after reading them. I just can't stand passive aggressive people like that. They really get under my skin. My response to her was to smile sweetly at her and say "suggestion noted" then I turned away and left it at that. Have a good night everyone! | |
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| How do you deal with people like this?
Posted: 6/24/2005 11:27:28 PM | unfortunately I do know people like that...
fortunately I learned how to deal with them... and thats to just ignore them completely...
if for some reason that doesnt work, they get told to get lost... if they continue they get told in no uncertain term what they can do with themselves... if they still continue, well unfortunately thats when I lose what cool I have and help them to realize that I really meant it.... something I always feel guilty about afterwards, but only for a couple of minutes and then I put them out of my mind... lol
sometimes its really good to have short term memory problems.... LOL | |
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| How do you deal with people like this?
Posted: 6/25/2005 8:55:02 AM | Hmmmmmmmm Well with some-one like that you can build up a big resentment. Which can let them rent space in your head, so you have 2 options.
1.) Totally ignore them and don't let them control how you feel. Your feelings belong to you, and you control your feelings. Use your own mind and walk on.
2.) Put your hand on their shoulder, look them right in the eyes, and say, "I really appreciate your advice, but I'm doing things my way, and I'm really happy with it". You might want to repeat it twice, so they clearly understand your words. I guarantee they will back off for good, and totally respect you from then on. End result: They leave you alone, and you have no resentment to carry forward. Plus you still remain friends.
I have used this method and it works. With both men and women.
Say what you Mean,
Mean what you Say,
And don't be Mean when you Say it!  | |
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| How do you deal with people like this?
Posted: 6/25/2005 9:29:40 AM | Try telling her this " You look great in two bit hooker garb, I just don't have the fat to fill it out like you do though. And that color highlights your double chin. It really makes it hard to tell where your body ends and your head begins. And at first I thought you might be to hot in this weather. But I now realize what I thought was sweat, is in fact the grease you need to spread all over yourself to get into that outfit. I'll be on the lookout for an outfit like that, when it comes in anything but burlap. Then we can get pictures taken together so we can send them in to "Im an adult ditch pig". Theres a first prize of a years supply of hog chow. Your such a great friend, thanks for the input"
If thats not your style, tell her to **** off. theres no comeback from either replys, Your choice.
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| How do you deal with people like this?
Posted: 6/25/2005 3:03:19 PM | | My mother is like that - sadly, myself and my siblings ignore her - maybe not the best method. I am used to it. As for a classmate I'd just say something..well..something that is too profane to write here, but it involves sex and travel. /Tom. | |
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| How do you deal with people like this?
Posted: 6/25/2005 7:16:10 PM | I've been known to deal with these situations in more of a permenamt fashion.
I'd be very kind and thank them very much for their advice and then let them know that the moment i actually gave a damn about what they or anyone else thought i would consider trying some of those helpful hints they just shared
...then smile and wait for a response
... don't expect a verbal one though
.... it's usually just a grunt and they leave | |
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