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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Would you give back an engagement ring if the relationship fails?      Home login  
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 fruitnut
Joined: 1/16/2009
Msg: 1
Would you give back an engagement ring if the relationship fails?Page 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
I would.

I had a discussion with a couple of my girlfriend’s about this and I was surprise at their response. Most feel the ring is theirs to keep.

An engagement ring is something a man purchase based on his love for his bride to be. In most cases the ring is expensive. So, why would I keep his ring if he is no longer part of my life?

Love to hear your thoughts on this.


 psssst
Joined: 6/4/2007
Msg: 2
Would you give back an engagement ring if the relationship fails?
Posted: 1/23/2009 4:06:18 AM
Legally, the ring belongs to the person that is determined to be the injured party in the event of the dissolution of an engagement.

If its the woman that does the breaking off... then it needs to be returned... if the man does the breaking off... then its hers to keep.

Cheers...
 tlm92
Joined: 4/5/2008
Msg: 3
Would you give back an engagement ring if the relationship fails?
Posted: 1/23/2009 4:15:36 AM
If you ever watched Judge Judy or any other court show on t.v. you would know that this type of situation has come up for discussion and in small claims court time and time again.

The decision by the Judge(s) has always been that they site this:
An engagement ring is given by the man to the woman with the intention of an impending marrriage. Should either parties decide the marriage will not take place and either/or breaks off the engagement, then the ring is to be given back to the man since the intention to marry is no longer there. END OF STORY, LIKE IT OR NOT. Seen it a million times over on t.v.-------same solution/resolution every time.
 Forumhobbit
Joined: 10/27/2008
Msg: 4
Would you give back an engagement ring if the relationship fails?
Posted: 1/23/2009 4:26:30 AM
Regardless of who broke up w/ who is irrelevant in my eyes. Personally, I'd give the ring back simply because it's the right thing to do. Besides, why would I want to hold on to something that's just going to remind me of what could have been and of him? Sounds like self torture to me!
 forum_froggie
Joined: 1/14/2009
Msg: 5
Would you give back an engagement ring if the relationship fails?
Posted: 1/23/2009 4:29:05 AM
Like other posters have said, who wants to keep an engagement ring that will only remind you of the past?

Let it go and give it back. Easy peasy.
 english lass
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 6
Would you give back an engagement ring if the relationship fails?
Posted: 1/23/2009 4:37:11 AM
yes, i'd give it back - i did at the end of our marriage too

to me it was a symbol of something that didn't exist anymore, so why keep it
 MrRational
Joined: 12/30/2008
Msg: 7
Would you give back an engagement ring if the relationship fails?
Posted: 1/23/2009 4:44:44 AM
So, if you ever take up with a woman who has kept an engagement ring... let this serve as a warning to you guys.
 ohthereugo
Joined: 2/12/2008
Msg: 8
Would you give back an engagement ring if the relationship fails?
Posted: 1/23/2009 4:48:35 AM
Pity we blokes dont get one .
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 9
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Would you give back an engagement ring if the relationship fails?
Posted: 1/23/2009 4:54:15 AM
If she breaks it off it should go back to the person that bought it. If he it mutual then it should be discussed.
 cubanguy
Joined: 8/1/2007
Msg: 10
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Would you give back an engagement ring if the relationship fails?
Posted: 1/23/2009 4:59:17 AM
The engagement ring has been redefined as "conditional gift", not a permanent one.

Marriage is not permament anymore and can be disolved by non-fault clause, so the ring, regardless who breaks up, is to be returned since marriage is not taking effect.
In somes cases, is also considered to be returned upon marriage dissolution since the marriage contract is terminated.

Check for legal issue in local jurisdiction.
 Spoken For
Joined: 12/26/2007
Msg: 11
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Would you give back an engagement ring if the relationship fails?
Posted: 1/23/2009 5:09:25 AM
Who legally gets to keep the ring varies from one state to the next. But I would give it back, there's no way I could keep it. He could buy a CAR with this thing.
IF I wasn't going to follow through with my promise to him, I'd give it back because it was the right thing to do. If he broke things off, I wouldn't want it anyway, because the love with which he gave it to me would be gone, and I wouldn't want a reminder of it.

It's a good thing I don't have to worry about that!
 brown_eyed_woman
Joined: 8/31/2008
Msg: 12
Would you give back an engagement ring if the relationship fails?
Posted: 1/23/2009 5:14:51 AM
I feel no matter how the engagement ended, the ring goes back. The ring is a symbol of a promise to marry, if you are not going to marry, then why would I want or need the symbol?
 actualizing
Joined: 5/2/2008
Msg: 13
Would you give back an engagement ring if the relationship fails?
Posted: 1/23/2009 6:09:05 AM
When I broke up with my lover of 15 years a year-and-a-half-ago, I gave him everything back: his mother's wedding band that I wore, his love letters to me, everything. He was happy to get them all back. We had a very civil break-up. It was harder on him though because he won't talk to me now. I miss his friendship but I understand. It was me who wanted to move on with my life. I did and I am happy. But I still dream about him.
 AlexSorel
Joined: 1/5/2009
Msg: 14
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Would you give back an engagement ring if the relationship fails?
Posted: 1/23/2009 6:13:03 AM
An engagment ring is a symbol of love and bonding to the other party,if that bond is dissolved then it is no surprise that any object symbolising this bond must be disposed of.In other words,the ring should be returned
 *~*ChardyGirl*~*
Joined: 6/29/2007
Msg: 15
Would you give back an engagement ring if the relationship fails?
Posted: 1/23/2009 6:13:35 AM
I got an engagement ring once.....................
Geez...........................what was *I* thinking......?

In the cold,bright light of day,i realized i didnt want to get married & be a "married" person...........offered the ring back........but,he wouldnt take it......

Ive still got it somewhere,thrown in the back of a drawer somewhere....havent looked at it in years........
But,it holds no bad/sad memories at all..................coz he's still a part of my life and most likely always will be,though we've BOTH moved on....
 Rocein
Joined: 1/14/2008
Msg: 16
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Would you give back an engagement ring if the relationship fails?
Posted: 1/23/2009 6:15:27 AM
I have been engaged and offered back the ring however the guy did not want it back he said he wouldn't be giving it to someone else anyway. I think if the break up is your fault or decision you should give the ring back its just respectful, but if he breaks it off then its up to you, personally I would probably throw the ring at him anyway, money means nothing in comparison to love so what would I do with it otherwise
 Ismene1
Joined: 7/25/2008
Msg: 17
Would you give back an engagement ring if the relationship fails?
Posted: 1/23/2009 6:20:38 AM
"Would you give back an engagement ring if the relationship fails?"

Yes. Same reasons others have given. No question. No second thoughts. If I want jewelry, I can buy my own.
 ladismile79
Joined: 11/10/2008
Msg: 18
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Would you give back an engagement ring if the relationship fails?
Posted: 1/23/2009 6:27:17 AM
LOL If he wouldn't have lost his job, therefore making me pay for my own engagement ring, yeah I would have given it back! Since I ended up paying for it, I kept it! lol I wasn't going to leave him a ring to pawn, when I'm the one who paid for it.
 GladIDidntGiveUp
Joined: 5/26/2007
Msg: 19
Would you give back an engagement ring if the relationship fails?
Posted: 1/23/2009 6:27:38 AM
Whoever bought it keeps it end of, unless you actually got married and it broke down then the ring belongs to the woman, have it converted into some earings or something
 Ismene1
Joined: 7/25/2008
Msg: 20
Would you give back an engagement ring if the relationship fails?
Posted: 1/23/2009 6:32:53 AM

Since I ended up paying for it, I kept it

Of course. That's makes sense. Didn't think of that!
 Jumbie564
Joined: 5/20/2008
Msg: 21
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Would you give back an engagement ring if the relationship fails?
Posted: 1/23/2009 6:34:05 AM
I'm a guy, so I'll turn the question around and ask myself whether I would expect it back.

Depends. In my case, I gave my wife an engagement ring that had been in my family for generations. It was a natural yellow diamond and she had remarked how beautiful it was when my sister showed it to her long before marriage was even an idea. Withoug any prompting my ex-wife returned the ring soon after our divorce was final. My sister was extremely relieved.

In just about any other situation I would not want the ring back. Why would I? For the money? It's not worth it to reduce something that once made me happy down to dollars and cents. Keep it, throw it away, sell it, I don't care - I just don't want it back.
 ripley65
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 22
Would you give back an engagement ring if the relationship fails?
Posted: 1/23/2009 6:36:24 AM
I was the one who ended our relationship and i gave him the ring back. It really was a beautiful ring, but i certainly did not want any reminders of him whatsoever.
 GladIDidntGiveUp
Joined: 5/26/2007
Msg: 23
Would you give back an engagement ring if the relationship fails?
Posted: 1/23/2009 6:37:11 AM

Depends. In my case, I gave my wife an engagement ring that had been in my family for generations. [/qoute]

in that case I agree, an heirloom should be given back UNLESS you had a child together and the intentions were to pass it to one of them when they got engaged....
 WiseVixen
Joined: 12/6/2008
Msg: 24
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Would you give back an engagement ring if the relationship fails?
Posted: 1/23/2009 7:18:09 AM
either way I would rather just hand it back over my self....but thats me....
I do agree totally with MSG2....that is the rightful and proper way.
 Wishes Granted
Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 25
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Would you give back an engagement ring if the relationship fails?
Posted: 1/23/2009 8:44:33 AM
Not only would I give it back.. I totally agree that if woman's lib is about equality then indeed as ohthereugo Msg 8 says:

Pity we blokes dont get one .


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