| Isn't Pride a wonderful thing?
Posted: 1/24/2009 11:20:07 AM | Most of us find Pride in one or many things. Like appearance, our homes, our cars our accomplishments, and the list goes on. BUT, how many of us have found our pride can be a stumbling block in relations?
Have you had a relationship fall apart because you had to much pride? Has it ever stopped you from reaching a goal? | |
|
| Isn't Pride a wonderful thing?
Posted: 1/24/2009 12:07:36 PM | | Yes, I have found sometimes that pride can get in your way of fully listening to another persons feelings. That is why it is called foolish pride. This usually happens when selfishness comes in and you worry about how you look to other people instead of communicating and coming to an agreement with the person you are in a relationship with. Sometimes pride and common sense are hard to distinguish. It all depends on each individual and what they are willing to accept in a relationship. | |
|
| Isn't Pride a wonderful thing?
Posted: 1/24/2009 12:17:08 PM |
Have you had a relationship fall apart because you had to much pride? Has it ever stopped you from reaching a goal?
No and no again. Reaching goals that I've set is a big part of my personal pride...far more than my appearance or possessions. Too many talkers in this world, not enough doers. | |
|
| Isn't Pride a wonderful thing?
Posted: 1/24/2009 12:23:45 PM | Venal sin, anyone? Pride has it's purpose in our biology. We're actually hard-wired for having it. The problems arise when it's not put in check. And of course, once that little monster is outta the bag, it's tough to rein-in without some type of massive reality check. Being proud and being prideful are two different things, to me. I'm proud of who I am, where I've come from and the things that make me the goofy person that I am. If I were to be prideful, I'd denegrate anyone that was different than how I turned out. So, to answer your question, pride hasn't impacted my relationships in a negative fashion...
Just proud to be humble! | |
|
| Isn't Pride a wonderful thing?
Posted: 1/24/2009 1:02:08 PM |
Most of us find Pride in one or many things. Like appearance, our homes, our cars our accomplishments, and the list goes on. BUT, how many of us have found our pride can be a stumbling block in relations?
Have you had a relationship fall apart because you had to much pride? Has it ever stopped you from reaching a goal?
OP -- Absolutely, pride has stopped me from reaching a goal with a former SO and I watched as it all fell apart in front of me. Pride in my words and conviction. Pride enough to be able to say that I felt it was better to be "right" than be together. Pride in that, it was claimed I had broken a promise previously so regardless of consequence I couldn't break the one I made to her to let her go if she threatened to leave me again. To have put my pride in my pocket would've given her another round of ammo to use against me at a later date.
At first, shortly after it all went to shit, I wondered if my pride was worth it, and in the beginning I thought no it wasn't worth it to be "right". After it all, it was well worth it to put my pride before all else. At impact it seemed the most horrible mistake I ever made...in the end, it turned out to be the best decision I ever made, saving me a world of misery and tripping over my own two feet.
Pride can indeed be a stumbling block in relationships...it can also, however, end up being the stepping stone you need to get out of that toxic relationship. Just depends on what your circumstances are. | |
|
| Isn't Pride a wonderful thing?
Posted: 1/24/2009 1:06:54 PM | | Pride can be a very good thing. But you have to know when to not let it get in the way. I think it can be a negative thing if you let it consume you. | |
|
| Isn't Pride a wonderful thing?
Posted: 1/24/2009 1:16:36 PM | If you have too little they call it low self esteem. If you have too much you are stubborn. Finding the middle ground is where it's at I suppose.
No I don't think pride got in my way at all - in fact I think I sold myself short in the past. I think not listening to my intuition is where I got into trouble. I think they call that being foolish. Yep, that's it. Not too proud to admit it. | |
|
| Isn't Pride a wonderful thing?
Posted: 1/24/2009 1:33:48 PM | Yep sure has, and if I ever came across the same situation again... It would then too. In my situation we had been seeing eachother for about two months. She wasn't treating me with respect and didn't want to make me a priority. Now I can understand if you've already made plans with friends, but when you've got to check with them first when no plans have been made and it's early in the week, that's a different story. Guess she just wasn't that into me. That's OK though, I'm not for everyone.    | |
|
| Isn't Pride a wonderful thing?
Posted: 1/24/2009 3:24:39 PM | I've let pride get in the way for other reasons; when I really needed help, I was way too proud to ask for it. I should have been less proud. I really, really needed support and assistance at the time but just couldn't bring myself to ask for it - even from my own family.
It hasn't interfered with my reaching goals or in personal relationships.
I think being proud is just human nature. It's something to balance and keep in perspective. Otherwise, it can become a large barrier.
I like to think and believe that I'm not too proud to behave in a human way towards others. Things like saying I'm sorry when I've really messed up, forgiving someone who's done the same, etc. , regardless of how difficult it might be. I hope I'm never to proud - empathy and understanding helps balance it out for me. Humbling comes to mind. I actually enjoy the learning experience and the feeling of being humbled. Keeps me on the right track. | |
|
| Isn't Pride a wonderful thing?
Posted: 1/24/2009 4:52:30 PM | Swallowing your pride is one of the hardest things to do. I have had to do it a couple times and it dont taste very good. Its always been when I screwed up tho...sometimes sorry can be the hardest word.
T | |
|
| Isn't Pride a wonderful thing?
Posted: 1/24/2009 4:55:50 PM | | To me , pride is more equivalent to Ego than it is to Self-esteem. My ego has always been the culprit, getting in the way of things I want most in life. | |
|
| Isn't Pride a wonderful thing?
Posted: 1/24/2009 4:59:38 PM | Pride stood in my way once when I want to ask him to stay, but in the end my pride saved me from looking like a fool.
Savona | |
|
| Isn't Pride a wonderful thing?
Posted: 1/24/2009 5:23:29 PM | I have not had pride get in the way of past relationships but it is stopping he from pursuing a new one.
I gave up the last few years to take on a teaching career. Politics got in the way and now I am back to a blue collar job. While I did not feel an excessive amount of pride in teaching I find I feel the drop in stature now. Where some would give me a measure of respect before all they see now is a guy that fixes things for them.
I meet a lot of women with degrees and PhDs now but I think they see me as only being skilled labour. Kind of hurts my pride knowing what my students thought of me. | |
|
| Isn't Pride a wonderful thing?
Posted: 1/24/2009 8:00:24 PM | In the Judeo/Xtian realm, pride is bad--we hear it consistently: be humble, pride goeth before a fall, etc. This is nothing new because many other cultures also devalue pride for one's self and one's beloved. The Greeks called too much pride "hubris."
But there is pride and there is false pride. If someone has "too" much, it oversteps merely being proud. I haven't found pride to be a stumbling block in my relations, but I can see where it could be a problem.
My father once said that he would rather steal a loaf of bread if he were hungry than to beg for a loaf, but that doesn't negate the ability to "swallow" one's pride and admit one is wrong. | |
|
| Isn't Pride a wonderful thing?
Posted: 1/24/2009 8:34:55 PM | I suspect I have had a relationship or two fall apart because of my pride. I demand certain things, and if they can't give them to me, I leave. I suspect others might stay in relationships longer than I do and get over the hump or talk about the problems or whatever people do, but I cut and run.
For example, I was recently dating a guy. I texted him on Tuesday morning about his availability on that Friday. Never heard from him, called him Thursday night to see what was up. He'd gotten my text, but was waiting to reply in case there was a better offer from a friend or something. WTF? I refuse to date a man who thinks there IS a better offer than ME. I dumped him on the phone, right there. He was quite surprised. | |
|
| Isn't Pride a wonderful thing?
Posted: 1/24/2009 9:31:50 PM | | Being proud is not encouraged in Hinduism or Buddhism. Nor in Christianity.....treasures in heaven not on earth. I find humble people much more interesting and enjoyable. My achievements(material and spiritual) have built my self-esteem and inner peace. | |
|
| Isn't Pride a wonderful thing?
Posted: 1/24/2009 9:54:15 PM | I recall a line from the novel "The Count of Monte Cristo" :
“I maintain my pride in the face of men,
but I abandon it before God,
who drew me out of nothingness to make me what I am”
Humility is knowing who you are behind all the facades. A proud person is therefore deceived. He does not know himself or or really care to know. Problems arise in relationships when the other person finds out who someone really is before the person himself does. | |
|
| Isn't Pride a wonderful thing?
Posted: 1/24/2009 10:31:15 PM | | What matters is if it's the right or correct, humble kind of pride. The kind that MOST (but not all) rich, powerful, wealthy, prominent, political, etc., people have is that they THINK that they are Sooooooo much better than everyone else and have the proverbial chip on their shoulder. This kind of pride is destructive and damageing. | |
|
| Isn't Pride a wonderful thing?
Posted: 1/24/2009 10:52:16 PM | towards the end of my first marriage, our counselor "made me" grovel. or so, that's how it felt. i later asked her: why? she said: "so in the future, when you look back, you will never ever doubt your decision or felt that you didn't try." amen to her! my pride would never have allowed it, but i followed her instructions blinded with tears, with great respect for her already proven wisdom. it wasn't about being right, it was about completing the journey and leaving no stone unturned and no feeling never expressed.  | |
|
| Isn't Pride a wonderful thing?
Posted: 1/24/2009 11:07:06 PM | | Yes, sometimes pride gets in the way of me simply appreciating what I've got. A humble, vulnerable heart is needed to rejoice in what is already before me. | |
|
| Isn't Pride a wonderful thing?
Posted: 1/24/2009 11:15:36 PM | Pride is a great attribute .. conceit especially condescending arrogant conceit is pride gone wylde.... and as for anyone loosing a relationship over being to conceitful... are you kiddin.. ? anyone conceited never reaches a goal nor do they take responsibility for killing a relationship unless they have eaten some humble pie..
Insecure conceit is genuinely attractive ... arrogant conceitful pride is a nasty bugger I would give a quick couple shot vocalized enema to and feel no pain... one thing me old man taught me was the energy of equivalency, and in the humble eyes of his wisdom now gone ... I feel pride.. Pride is a good feeling as we should all be proud of being human and practising the emotions of love .. anything else as to accomplishments within ourselves are to be shared with others as to teaching skills and making someone feel the love we felt in creating.paying via energy a motion forward... ... when you know pride as a feeling you can be nothing but generous with what you know and what you can express to give of any other kind of pride is false pride or conceit. The universality of connectedness to our universe and all energy is molecular pride... anything else is a person in a growing process or in stagnant suspended animation. | |
|
| Isn't Pride a wonderful thing?
Posted: 1/24/2009 11:31:59 PM | | I think those that possess this trait have a fear of losing control of whatever it is and or for being weak. | |
|
| Isn't Pride a wonderful thing?
Posted: 1/25/2009 6:07:54 PM | The "things" and accomplishments that bring us pride can be taken away from us at a moments notice. If one needs to feel a continued sense of pride then let it be of character building traits like honesty, loyalty, integrity, charity and good will.
I consciously work at not being proud, grateful - very, honored - yes, proud -no. | |
|
| Isn't Pride a wonderful thing?
Posted: 1/25/2009 8:38:08 PM | | It's great to have a sense of pride in good things you do for the people around you. It's also good to have pride in those things that mean a lot to you. But one should never be too proud to admit his mistakes or they will tear them apart. I along with a lot of people I know have learned this lesson. Pride can be a huge stumbling block in a relationship. It is a lot easier to admit that you're wrong than to suffer the loss of a quality relationship as a result of too much pride. You will be a lot happier with yourself if you're willing to admit your wrongs and seek some kind of personal healing from a source you trust. | |
|
Home
login 
