| Alcohol and clubs versus online dating
Posted: 1/26/2009 1:20:36 PM | Online dating has its drawbacks.
First, online dating is like catalog shopping, except that the commodities are people and romance often takes a back seat to customer demands, fussiness and indecision.
Second, some people treat the medium so casually that they'll load up their profiles with a list of what they don't want to the point that potential partners are put off. In a normal chance meeting, these couplings might have a better chance of success.
Third, a lot of online daters cheat on the photos and profiles the way McDonalds photographs its burgers. Disappointment is inevitable.
On the other hand, what about alcohol, nightclubs and the effect of diminished inhibitions on finding someone?
Alcohol is largely responsible for a lot of couplings that might never have taken place without it. As senses get dulled, fussiness goes out the window and people manage to go home with one another.
A whole lot of us are on the planet thanks to alcohol.
Will online dating be as successful as alcohol and the clubs? | |
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| Alcohol and clubs versus online dating
Posted: 1/26/2009 1:37:04 PM |
You mean will online dating be as successful as drinking is to one night stands?
Hmmm...I think it will be less successful. Unless you could combine the two. Say, people take a pledge to have two drinks and then go online.
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| Alcohol and clubs versus online dating
Posted: 1/26/2009 1:37:54 PM | Are you saying that alcohol and on-line dating are NOT compatible?
Sheesh...I assumed the ladies were drinking, otherwise why would they contact me?? | |
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| Alcohol and clubs versus online dating
Posted: 1/26/2009 1:38:56 PM | rouletiquette, I believe you have succinctly summed up the OP's post.
You have a future in writing abstracts for scientific journals if you should ever leave your present job.
No, OP whether it is clubs or online, you still must add alcohol.
I'll have mine shaken, not stirred and don't bruise the gin.
Edit: You've sold me Landra. Sign me up for ten lessons. | |
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| Alcohol and clubs versus online dating
Posted: 1/26/2009 1:41:54 PM |
You mean will online dating be as successful as drinking is to one night stands? Haha
Not knocking all women out there, but it's amazing how many women go from "eh" about a guy to wanting to form a RL with him after a drunken one night stand. Even seen women who seemingly only get with guys who take advantage of them when drunk. We can claim it's whorish insecurity, but it is funny how many times I'll see women try with a guy they aren't fathoming when he made that caveman move in a moment of vulnerability she had. | |
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| Alcohol and clubs versus online dating
Posted: 1/26/2009 1:44:51 PM | I don't drink or do the usual "clubs"
nor do I do the online dating thing.
What I do is ballroom dance.
Ballroom dancers seldom drink.
We are courteous and rarely refuse and invitation to dance (it's bad form).
We allow the men to lead.
We share a few minutes of time in a very intimate way (holding each other close, moving to the music, relying on each other to lead/follow).
There's no guarantee of romance, but there is a very lovely bond we develop with each other.
In my opinion, this is what online dating and alcohol-clubbing lack: the bond, the friendship, the intimacy, the caring, the courtesy, the connection.
There's something magical about doing a lively swing, or a close rumba or a fun salsa or a romantic waltz with another human being that makes you feel part of humanity again.
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| Alcohol and clubs versus online dating
Posted: 1/26/2009 1:50:45 PM | I go out to clubs all the time and have a few drinks once in a while too, but I don't go with the intention to find someone; I may enjoy the place, the music, the dance floor, laugh, hang out with friends, and talk to new people and then go home. I guess if the reason you go out to a bar or club is to meet someone seriously, then yeah it's gonna be frustrating.
Same online really. Making friends and being social is the key; not looking JUST online, but adding it to other types of social activities is the way to do it. Never expect to date anyone, but try to talk to and meet everyone.
Expectation is the thing that kills most of it. It's the mother of dissapointment. | |
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| Alcohol and clubs versus online dating
Posted: 1/26/2009 2:01:29 PM | Well, I can't say...
the majority of my significant relationships(even the recent ones) have come from neither source.
Not that I am anti club, or anti online. But there ARE other options besides bars and the 'net, yanno.
Cindy O | |
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| Alcohol and clubs versus online dating
Posted: 1/26/2009 2:32:08 PM | Online dating has become a futuristic version of the old-fashioned singles bar. Lots of lines, a litany of desperation, loads of lies and lots of people just looking to play games and/or get laid. The difference is, when you meet someone at a bar, at least you have some idea of what they're really like, at least what they look like. Unless you've had a few two many. Then all best are off!
We also have the equivalent of the cyber barfly out here. They are very much like the lushes and lotharios who always hang at the corner tavern. The only difference is, they don't have to leave the comforts of their homes to troll for dates! | |
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| Alcohol and clubs versus online dating
Posted: 1/26/2009 2:48:01 PM | Alcohol - Yes OP you are correct - the reason most people are here is because of alcohol... If there wasn't alcohol - I would have killed myself a LONG time ago....
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| Alcohol and clubs versus online dating
Posted: 1/26/2009 2:48:32 PM | Both bars / clubs and internet dating have their flaws.
Bar / clubs
drinking clouds your judgment
can't hear too well due to loud music
internet dating
people can be extremely picky
people can be dishonest about their photos and profiles | |
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| Alcohol and clubs versus online dating
Posted: 1/26/2009 3:08:03 PM | First, online dating is like catalog shopping, except that the commodities are people and romance often takes a back seat to customer demands, fussiness and indecision.
Yes... I imagine people are judging others based on "paper" much more than anything else. Many options around, and it's much easier to approach or respond when in the online arena.
Meeting someone from online is a different environment. It's -more- safe, with applicable common sense of meeting someone, than being tipsy at the bar and meeting someone else who is also tipsy.
I've met a woman at a bar, and online before, when I was out in Hawaii. In other words, I met the same woman for the -first- time, twice. She didn't realize it, but I did. I met her at the bar, first. Some women have their guard up about guys. I was playing wingman for a buddy of mine, and this older woman I could tell was not interested at all. Not a big deal. When I was working 2 months later, I found an older midwestern-looking lady on there, we emailed, and met (very few "mainland" type people in Hawaii). She seemed familiar. I found out it was the same lady late into our first date. She had no clue. We ended up dating for a while after that, and I never told her I was -that- guy from the bar. | |
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| Alcohol and clubs versus online dating
Posted: 1/26/2009 3:48:25 PM | Statistically, I think bars/clubs will continue to be/are more successful than online dating. Sure, we've all heard from a friend of a friend of a friend, (some of us may have 1 friend) who've met their mates online, but considering that MILLIONS of people who are on dating sites, compared to the AMOUNT of people you will meet at a bar/club, the averages are much better, imho, out there in the 3D world.
While alcohol definitely clouds judgement, it often gives one the ability to be more outgoing and sociable than otherwise. Yep, 2am beer goggles come into play, but I think seeing 'a shocker' is more the exception than the rule....people tend to 'hook up' with those on the same level as them, that is, level of attractiveness..an 8 with an 8, a 5 with a 5...
Right off the bat, you usually know if there is some level of connection or chemistry...
Online dating way more like finding a needle in a haystack....
You've got many people who will automatically deceive those with old picture, sudden loss of hair, sudden (overnight that is..) weight gain....thus being a fake right off the bat.
You've got a very good venue for 'cheating' with online dating...it's easier to fool people, for those who have that agenda (which MANY DO)
You've got people who are not at all sincere in their goals (those who go online to validate their need to be desired, but have no intention of ever meeting WHICH HAPPENS A LOT!!)
Online dating is much like a kid in a candy store....Pick and choose, almost like 'shopping' for a mate/lover (depending on what you're looking for) and negates the
human element. People will inevitably choose those who attract them physically first..(hence why most of us want to see PICS first) Out in the 3D world, you don't need a picture...it's already there....so the kid in the candy store element is eliminated...narrowing your choices to a more realistic choice for both.
Online dating doesn't offer the 'meeting via friends venue' like bars/clubs do....
E.g..often we will meet a friend of a friend, albeit in a bar or club....and we've got a good recommendation...and we are introduced! Not many people on dating sites will try to match up someone they may meet, but aren't interested in, with a single friend. Never heard of that happening...ON THE CONTRARY, people will often meet their mates in a bar/club BUT through mutual friends!
And, who's to say that those who are doing the 'online dating thing' AREN'T doing it while drinking! Only God knows what the other person is doing on the other end of that computer!
So, while you may have MILLIONS online, the actual chances of meeting those MILLIONS are slim....how many, and what are the odds, that someone from California, meets someone from Maine, and actually go on to have a successful relationship? My guess....SLIM TO NONE!
Just my .02 | |
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| Alcohol and clubs versus online dating
Posted: 1/26/2009 4:31:46 PM | | Well put uncle, i been saying this for ages and now have started mesaging woman back calling them ignorant cows lol. I actually might leave this site cos so far it a complete waste of time. The woman on here are rude arrogant and have no manners what so ever. In the real world i have woman that say hello to me and no they not drunk just happy and social people. On here they are not, i do get replies though when i do insult them, which is hysterical in itself. | |
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| Alcohol and clubs versus online dating
Posted: 1/26/2009 6:46:58 PM | are you talking about 'chemistry'?
Everything needs a catalyst.
Alcohol is probably the most underrated catalyst for romance.
It would be interesting to know what the planet's population was before and then after the discovery of alcohol.
It's also a pretty good disinfectant! :) | |
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| Alcohol and clubs versus online dating
Posted: 1/26/2009 6:51:36 PM | | Half the time i'm in an environment where alcohol isn't present. Would you also assume that the use of alcohol would create a more satisfactory result in a combat zone or just a night club. In general, I do not think alcohol is anymore a better solution than the use of cocaine to have a vitalized and enjoyable night. If people really do want to "click" together it shouldn't be through consumption of an intoxicating substance, but through consumption of intoxicating charisma and ideas. Let's be REAL for a minute here, Enrico. People who drink are not being themselves 90% of the time and people who don't have the capacity to be truely themselves. Personally, i'd rather pick up a date in coffee shop than anywhere else considering the lack of the presence of alcohol just to see the other person act in natural character and at their best, least inhabilitated capacity. | |
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| Alcohol and clubs versus online dating
Posted: 1/27/2009 10:43:29 AM | | Yea how do you know the mojority on here are not drinking? It one hell of prosumtion to think every one on this site is sober lol cos it ain't so. Also the facts about alcahol that dpends on the person and how much they consume. It not about the acahol actually it about the enviorenment and the atmosphere. You have none of that here just billions of people staring at a screen, might as well look through a littlewoods catalogue. As far as the coccain that really stupid and sounds like you are predicting class A drugs as a alternative to alcahol. Which is very bad in so many ways | |
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| Alcohol and clubs versus online dating
Posted: 1/27/2009 10:56:02 AM |
and now have started mesaging woman back calling them ignorant cows lol.
The woman on here are rude arrogant and have no manners what so ever.
Oh, I see. Messaging women back and calling them ignorant cows is of course the absolute epitome of impeccable manners.
In the real world i have woman that say hello to me and no they not drunk just happy and social people.
I say hello to lots of men(and women, and children) but that doesn't mean I want to go out with them.
On here they are not, i do get replies though when i do insult them, which is hysterical in itself.
Might I suggest that the biggest favor you could do yourself,with respect to dating,would be to let go of the mouse, step away from the computer, put down the ,get off the barstool and go someplace to learn a little maturity and depth of character? Getting into email insultfests is just...childish.
Cindy O | |
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| Alcohol and clubs versus online dating
Posted: 1/27/2009 11:10:28 AM | OP,
Online dating also has advantages:
-You get greater exposure to a greater number of people and also see a larger variety of people... especially people who are not into drinking or the bar scene.
-You save money because you can target people who you are much more interested in instead of going to a club only to find there is nobody there who is your type
-It's safer. Nobody can slip anything into your drink with online dating (safer for women). Also, you won't have to deal with bar fights (safer for men)
-It's more time-efficient... in that you can chat with someone ahead of time before deciding to spend the time and money on going on dates.
-Through the forums, you can see how some people really are rather than the 'front' they put up when you meet them in a bar. While people can't lie about their looks in a bar, they can still lie about everything else.
But in my view, it's really not a Club vs Online debate. The two compliment each other.
Just because you meet someone off POF or some other site doesn't make it any more or less likely someone will go to a club. And just because someone goes to a club, doesn't make it any more or less likely someone will go on POF. | |
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