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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Falling in love at my age? [CLOSED Thread]      Home login  
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 kissme1973
Joined: 11/11/2008
Msg: 1
Falling in love at my age? [CLOSED Thread]Page 1 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
What's the difference in falling in love at 50 something and falling in love at 17?

I keep thinking of the words to the song "Both Sides Now" and it's description of the dizzy whirling feeling of falling in love. Is that describing love at 17? Does it work for all ages? Am I ok with feeling that way at 53? Shouldn't I be feeling more reserved?

At 17 I'd have not given a thought to the next verse, the one that tells how to react when it goes wrong. At 53 I'm caught between the two verses. I have the urge to do pirouettes, to burst into song, to laugh for no reason. Then I have the other side. Don't say those three little words out loud, for Gods sake don't be the first to say them. Rerunning every conversation, hoping I didn't say something wrong? Rummaging through your baggage and wondering if the pile is too big to move into a new relationship? Wondering what you should lock away in your mental closet and what is ok to leave out in the open? Looking at his baggage and asking yourself, "Am I ok with this?"

I'm not saying I'm in love, it's way too soon for that, but I'm standing at the edge of the cliff, wings spread, ready to jump! Toes hanging over the edge, poised at the canyon's rim, ready to fly, or to fall. Ready to take another chance at love and living.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 2
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Falling in love at my age?
Posted: 1/31/2009 8:25:38 AM
At 50, hopefully we are no longer in love with falling in love. If not, we could be chasing our next bad relationship.
 Ismene1
Joined: 7/25/2008
Msg: 3
Falling in love at my age?
Posted: 1/31/2009 8:32:05 AM
This has been done. Did you do a thread search? http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts10598160.aspx
 Runs With Wolves
Joined: 1/19/2006
Msg: 4
Falling in love at my age?
Posted: 1/31/2009 8:58:36 AM
[quoteThis has been done.

Yeah but….but the OP has a personal slant on this one…lol
I like reading personal slants…lol


Does it work for all ages? Am I ok with feeling that way at 53? Shouldn't I be feeling more reserved?


‘I’ think because ‘I’ve had far more experiences of love then I did at 17, my feelings will be different. The questions I asked myself at 17 are far different from what I question of myself today…lol


I have the urge to do pirouettes, to burst into song, to laugh for no reason. Then I have the other side. Don't say those three little words out loud,


You forgot to say, “ going through the day I smile seeing through his eyes as well as mine” lol

If your going through the day questioning what to say what not to…and if…if….


hoping I didn't say something wrong? Rummaging through your baggage and wondering if the pile is too big …..Wondering what you should lock away in your mental closet and what is ok to leave out in the open….


Your not being yourself. Weeks later he will say “ shes’ not who I thought she was”
(excuses some use re: online dating…lol).

"Am I ok with this?"

Good question if asking about an experience your both sharing but……..

A good question if it takes you to a place where you question your feeling of “safety” (safety meaning surrendering all your baggage to be yourself).

It’s not about

I'm not saying I'm in love,[b it's way too soon for that,

or
“the way it’s suppose to be”.

IT is about if it feel right? Remember its how our experiences bring us to the conclusions and not others judgements….
 scottoliver
Joined: 3/27/2008
Msg: 5
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Falling in love at my age?
Posted: 1/31/2009 9:35:36 AM
Enjoyed reading op's post.

If one keeps there head together really I see no reason once you know it's not lust but a real love and caring why not fall like you described at 17??

Seems you've put a lot of thought into this and know yourself be confident and go for it.
 kissme1973
Joined: 11/11/2008
Msg: 6
Falling in love at my age?
Posted: 1/31/2009 10:09:31 AM
Runs with wolves: Seeing through his eyes yes I forgot to mention that. Yesterday I was shopping for lingerie, to wear when that moment comes along? And there were these bras and panties in day glow polka dots. Hot pink, glow in the dark green, you know the colors I'm talking about, we remember the 70s and black lights? And I had a thought or two about what his reaction would be if I disrobed and he saw me wearing those. ROFL!!! to be sure.
 SuchARealLady
Joined: 8/27/2008
Msg: 7
Falling in love at my age?
Posted: 1/31/2009 10:40:37 AM
*Does it work for all ages? Am I ok with feeling that way at 53? Shouldn't I be feeling more reserved?*

Be true to yourself, Kissme!

We have to allow ourselves these feelings again when and if they come along because they invigorate and empower. And if the "falling in love" is reciprocal, life has given both of you a new chance to be giddy and carefree.

You want glow in the dark lingerie? Buy it! He'll love it if he's returning the sentiments you are feeling. And nobody else is going to know except for the two of you.

SARL
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 8
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Falling in love at my age?
Posted: 1/31/2009 11:26:35 AM
I wrote this five years ago. The man it was written for agreed with me, lol!, but went and died on me nevertheless. And this time is NO different. . . .


Kiddles, listen up

Love at twenty is a piccolo,
pleasing and piercing.

At thirty-five, a string quartet,
sweet and mellow

Over sixty?
Full orchestra
Carnegie Hall
Toscanini
harmonics of a lifetime


 Sincerelady5
Joined: 7/11/2008
Msg: 9
Falling in love at my age?
Posted: 1/31/2009 6:31:58 PM
Falling in love does not have an age limit, not for me anyway.
You never get too old to fall in love.
 55Von
Joined: 1/26/2009
Msg: 10
Falling in love at my age?
Posted: 1/31/2009 9:41:20 PM
Falling in love at 17 ... what was it we were all looking fot at that time in our life ?
going to college and I hope thinking of a better futurn then our parents as we hope our children are looking for today .
Remember the song "Puppy Love" ... what did we know then ? not to much ..
So we found that guy we got married we had our children .. and did all of those things in the middle ...
Today we find ourselves on a dating site, divorced, over fifty , for some of us fighting our weight .. AND we are looking for that Spark again .. but today it's different .. our children are grown starting families of their own ..
Now it's time for us Again, this time we don't have to give birth , we don't have to deal with be a Team Mom, making appointments for doctors visits etc etc ..
So what is love like at this age ... BETTER ... why you ask .. because now we look forward to all of those things we didn't get to before.. We don't have to look at a man and think of what our children would look like ..
Falling in love comes from the Heart ... so don't let your mind work over time . It will happen .. he will know and and so will you .. for some it will be scary out there..
I was married for 28 years .. but here I am . Can I do it ??? OH Yes I can
WE are older and Yes We Can ...
 *mandrake*
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 11
Falling in love at my age?
Posted: 1/31/2009 9:54:34 PM
Falling in love and affairs of the heart, are not age exclusive. The days of puppy love are long gone, but the capacity to fall in love can happen to anyone, anywhere, anytime, and at any age. And it usually happens when you least expect it!

Love can, and will, penetrate the hardest of hearts, even the ones who try hard not to love, not to let anyone in. Love can touch someone in a prison, and someone on a mountain top, someone with baggage, and someone who has no baggage.

Love can touch you when you aren't ready, and love can touch you when you are ready. But if it does touch you....don't turn your back on it.
 OldFolkie
Joined: 6/8/2008
Msg: 12
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Falling in love at my age?
Posted: 1/31/2009 10:01:08 PM
KissMe, the last five posts have all spoken directly to who and where you are now.

At the midpoint in our lives, it's not about the hormones that raged when were Teens...it's all about finding and recognizing and responding to that mature love...the one that tells you, and believes it with all his heart just how beautiful you are in the psychedelic polka dots, that sees the world through YOUR eyes too, that believes with you that love is real. I wish you all the best on your journey.
 xzenobia
Joined: 4/24/2008
Msg: 13
Falling in love at my age?
Posted: 2/2/2009 9:47:28 PM
everytime I turn around ..back in love again..right back right back in love again
seems like seems like I'm back in love again
that song's from LTD~ you gotta be a hardcore R&B lover
or Jefferey Osbourne fan to appreciate this song..but does
that answer your question..ha-ha

everytime I turn around...yeahhh
that wld be...me
 867love
Joined: 3/16/2006
Msg: 14
Falling in love at my age?
Posted: 2/2/2009 10:20:54 PM
the feeling is pretty much the same whether your 17 or 97, -its just grosser catching old people making out

-and its easier for 17 year old couples to explain to the cops why they are parked naked in their cars
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 15
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Falling in love at my age?
Posted: 2/2/2009 11:33:55 PM
Falling in love is much more an act of children believing that love does exist, and can handle it.....

Falling in love at a much older age, is much more a matter of convenience, understanding, and tolerance of each other to the point that being in love far outweighs the pleasure and acceptance of not being in love.......go figure.....

Many of us know the difference, and even if we choose not to be in love, it does not mean that we do not love.....

Just my opinion......
 Renaissance Redneck
Joined: 12/2/2007
Msg: 16
Falling in love at my age?
Posted: 2/2/2009 11:38:31 PM
Kissme, one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen in my life happened about 30 years ago. I was riding my bike beside the river and saw a couple around 70 years old sitting on a park bench holding hands. It went far beyond just holding hands, it was love for certain. Their eye's sparkled as they stared at each other and I doubt they were at all aware of others around them. They looked like teenagers lost in emotions so intense that they did not understand. As I rode by that couple I thought "DAMN! I wish I had that in my life."

I very much doubt they are still alive but I imagine the love that they shared in those advanced years would have made many good couples envious.

If you don't give it a shot you may miss out on that kind of love. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. All the best to both of you! Now, go get him!
 GreenEyesBlondeHair
Joined: 11/5/2007
Msg: 17
Falling in love at my age?
Posted: 2/3/2009 12:13:12 AM
I think love is sweeter the older we get, but it is not as easy as when we were younger

enjoy the moment...

BTW, seems like we have a "forum nazi" among us

OP, enjoy the fun & don't let anyone rain on your parade
 oceanfront220
Joined: 9/2/2008
Msg: 18
Falling in love at my age?
Posted: 2/3/2009 12:53:50 AM
Just my sentiment, greeneyes, about the "done that" thread poster...This is a great subject for those of a who aren't 17..I cannot wait to fall in love again, and since I'm a bit older than dirt, and have ANOTHER birthday this month, I guess I'm still forever the romantic.. I've gotten a bit cynical about a few things in life, but never, never about romance..Its always, exciting, scary, exhilerating, sometimes heart-breaking but never, dull...I actually fell in love for the first time when I was 17, and still remember him, and his long, black hair, after all it was the 60's and that imistakable feeling when I saw him coming to pick me up...Butterflies, heart pounding, love..Now if I fell in love at my age, I'd have to wonder it its love or hot flashes..I fought the feeling for years, and like alot of my female comtemporaries shut down for a long time...Fortunately, for me I'm up for the challenge again, and am really looking forward to meeting a great man who has the qualities that make us click...I know he's out there..Timing, luck and forgiveness..Thats personal....Good luck, All..........
 ProcolHarem
Joined: 8/29/2008
Msg: 19
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Falling in love at my age?
Posted: 2/3/2009 4:57:53 AM
Grrrrr.
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 dysfunction_junction
Joined: 7/17/2008
Msg: 20
Falling in love at my age?
Posted: 2/3/2009 5:33:50 AM
hi kissme1973, interesting post. i really liked the closet analogy, lol! so in the end, it appears there is absolutely NO difference between falling in love at 50 or at 17. i'll consider that as fair warning ;)

oh yeah, congratulations & best wishes!
 PhotoRadar
Joined: 7/28/2008
Msg: 21
Falling in love at my age?
Posted: 2/3/2009 5:57:57 AM
There should be All the same Feelings!
But use Your 33 more years of life experience to balance
the influence of it.
 Gaddflye
Joined: 9/10/2008
Msg: 22
Falling in love at my age?
Posted: 2/3/2009 6:56:51 AM
I am very happy for you, OP. This sounds like love, at least as I know it. A brain scan would no doubt confirm it. Isn't chemistry wonderful? To me, at 66, it still feels the same as it always has and you are "only" 53. Enjoy!
 TallWillow
Joined: 11/5/2008
Msg: 23
Falling in love at my age?
Posted: 2/3/2009 7:32:06 AM

Kissme, one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen in my life happened about 30 years ago. I was riding my bike beside the river and saw a couple around 70 years old sitting on a park bench holding hands. It went far beyond just holding hands, it was love for certain. Their eye's sparkled as they stared at each other and I doubt they were at all aware of others around them. They looked like teenagers lost in emotions so intense that they did not understand. As I rode by that couple I thought "DAMN! I wish I had that in my life."


This reminds me of my grandmother, who didn't let age stop her from falling in love. She was widowed in her late 50's and after a few years, started dating again. She eloped at 70 and stayed happy until she was widowed again. She finally died at 80, from complications of an auto accident she suffered while running around Mexico with her boyfriend. I can't say I always appreciated it; there was one Friday night when I was about 18 that she and my other widowed grandmother both had dates and I didn't.

Now she's an inspiration to me. Kissing on a mall bench in your fifties is even more fun than in your teens, at least for me. Then I was so shy, I'd have been mortified by the scandalized look a young man gave us. Now, both of us just laughed.

That increased confidence means that I will insist on being treated well and not put up with junk just to have a lover in my life as I did then. The downside is that I know too much about love and worry that he might be in love with his own image of me, not with the real me and vice versa. Nonetheless, I'm enjoying being in love. It's great to think of him and smile, to sing as I'm puttering around the house and to look at something interesting and think, "oh, he'll like that."
 english lass
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 24
Falling in love at my age?
Posted: 2/3/2009 8:22:49 AM
that's wonderful

i hope that the feeling continues and deepens

why second guess it, just enjoy

 kissme1973
Joined: 11/11/2008
Msg: 25
Falling in love at my age?
Posted: 2/3/2009 8:26:50 AM
Would you believe we haven't even met in person yet? That happens this Friday, unless we have a tsunami, or an earthquake!! It's been all IMs and phone calls. Lots and lots of phone calls, when I pick up the phone to that oh so sexy voice saying "Hi Babe" all my worries and cares just melt away. We have so very much in common it's like I've known him for years instead of just these few weeks. We're being cautious, and careful and have spent these past weeks getting to know each other building a deep friendship, along with our attraction to each other.

Am I nervous? You bet! My stomach is getting butterflies right now just thinking about it. What am I going to wear? What if I have a bad hair day? I have an 80 mile drive to meet him half way, my make up won't be fresh, I'll have had an hour+ on the road before we meet? Will I live up to my pictures? Will I live up to our conversations? What if the weather is bad? It is winter here, and it has been a bad one!! What am I going to say? What if? What if? What if? I'm driving myself crazy aren't I? This last paragraph makes me sound kinda high maintenance. I'm really not, in fact I'm a very low maintenance woman, I'm very self assured, capable, and independent. But one would never guess it by the state I'm in right now!!!

Oh and for those of you who might be interested I'm not going to be wearing day glow undies. In fact that step of our relationship is farther down the road this is the first meeting, for in person conversation and lunch. And to make all those virtual hugs and kisses real!

If anyone has a mind to suggest a quickie in the back seat of my car, I'll give you some info why that's not about to happen. First he's 6' and weighs 200# and I drive a Neon!!! Also it's winter here, and the meeting is taking place in broad daylight in a public place. And we're taking it slowly and cautiously, one step at a time.

Wish me luck!!!

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