| do average women with numerous emails even try to get to know a man on pof?
Posted: 2/5/2009 6:06:54 AM | in one thread a guy wrote something that made a lot of sense to me:
{quote]" Women who get lots of email are always looking towards their next email ...Not taking the time to let someone make an impact on their life."
i see two categories here: (#1) the aware and (#2) the unaware.
(1.) are any of you ladies experiencing this and then making the above revelation in your own mind that you should select a good one from a large bunch and explore him with a weeks worth or more of back and forth emailing?
()2.are you getting so many emails that you just keep reading them for the entertainment value and then complain you can't find anyone?
comments from both camps to these questions please and will you in the #2 question consider changing your ways? | |
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| do average women with numerous emails even try to get to know a man on pof?
Posted: 2/5/2009 6:18:21 AM | (1.) are any of you ladies experiencing this and then making the above revelation in your own mind that you should select a good one from a large bunch and explore him with a weeks worth or more of back and forth emailing?
Definitely not. I would trade in every single email I get for just one that I feel matches me enough to want to get to know him.
My main goal is to get off this site. I know what I want and what I'm looking for. It gets very disheartening when 99.9% of the emails you recieve are from men that claim they have so much in common with you, only to find that they really don't have one interest that matches yours..
I also get a lot of men outside of the age range I have specified in my "about me" section...not just by a few years, but way off.
Many times when I feel they may be a good match for me, you find after a few emails that they're really just pretending to be what you want. I really don't want to waste anyones time, or mine.
()2.are you getting so many emails that you just keep reading them for the entertainment value and then complain you can't find anyone?
If I showed you most of the emails I get, you would agree they are far from entertaining..
Look..I'm not knocking anyone, or making myself out to be better or worse then anyone else, but I know what I'm looking for. And believe me when I say, it really isn't "fun" after awhile. Which is why I stick to forums mostly 
EDITvvv Midnight...I have attempted to email some of my favourites, they don't write back. Initially I was deleting them only to find myself re-added. I figured, why bother? I don't know about your favourites list, but I speak to about 20% of mine, and they're all friends from the forums. You really shouldn't feel intimdated by that number..trust me when I say, it means nothing.. | |
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| do average women with numerous emails even try to get to know a man on pof?
Posted: 2/5/2009 6:18:31 AM | | I personally once had about 20 favorites and found it impossible to keep up with all of them, so knowing this I kept my favorites very short. When I have about 5 or less it's easy to get to know them and conversate on the site or by email. When I she a woman with about 40 plus favorites I question their ability to spread their attention enough to know that many equally or effectively. I know that some favorites just add themselves without even talking to the person, had it happen to me quite often but this site does have a delete option for that. | |
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| do average women with numerous emails even try to get to know a man on pof?
Posted: 2/5/2009 6:28:40 AM | | Now wait just one minute!! I enjoy the emails and I love talking to many different people. If I feel that I only want a friendship with them, I tell them so! If I am interested in someone above email, I will talk to them on the phone! I let folks know where they stand. Complain I can't find anybody? No...cause if I get bored, I will read a few profiles and tell people that interest me "hello". | |
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| do average women with numerous emails even try to get to know a man on pof?
Posted: 2/5/2009 6:33:50 AM | So, seeing that I'm an average woman...thought I would take a shot at answering this one.
(1.) are any of you ladies experiencing this and then making the above revelation in your own mind that you should select a good one from a large bunch and explore him with a weeks worth or more of back and forth emailing?
In my experience I try to answer all my emails from guys because I think that is polite. I have to say that I have been falling down in that endeavor lately due to life circumstances not due to an over abundance of emails though as I have a life outside POF . So, if I didn't respond to an email...sorry...I've been a little busy.
I have different types of men emailing me. The one's that just want to email a friend and are not looking to date me due to distance or whatever. The guys that are interested in dating me and that I am interested in dating but who tend to be easily distracted by bright shiny object syndrome.... . Then there are the guys that seem nice and who I will email back and forth with but who I am not really interested in anything more then online chatting. I try to be honest with all the men that email me regarding my intentions so that I don't hurt anyone....I am not on this earth to hurt others intentionally that is.
I would take the time to get to know just one guy if I felt that he was truly interested in me and I was equally interested in him!
()2.are you getting so many emails that you just keep reading them for the entertainment value and then complain you can't find anyone?
Nope, I don't consider anyone's email to me as entertainment....that is what the forums are for. Hey, does that mean there is something in my life I DON'T have to change....whew?  | |
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| do average women with numerous emails even try to get to know a man on pof?
Posted: 2/5/2009 6:39:38 AM | | First of all tomicbomb you are assuming that we all get a great many messages on here. That is false. Since I opened up my account I have maybe gotten 5. Of those 5 one I already knew and had no desire to have anything to do with and the rest were pretty much just tire kickers. They send you one message you send them one back and you don't hear anything from them again. | |
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| do average women with numerous emails even try to get to know a man on pof?
Posted: 2/5/2009 6:58:42 AM | | Omtwf I understand to a extent what you say but you can control who adds you as a favorite it's the delete option. People aren't intimidated by a person with alot of favorites, most people correspond with their favorites and assume that people don't leave people on their profile as favorites just because. They see that your busy enough and search for someone with less action going on. Oh and women can be interested in women so that makes no difference their gender. I delete my favorites because whats the point in keeping them if you don't correspond, that's not a (FAVORITE.) | |
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| do average women with numerous emails even try to get to know a man on pof?
Posted: 2/5/2009 7:17:39 AM | I really didn't consider emails from strangers anything more than entertainment until I met them in person or talk on the phone. Mostly I emailed back because I am interested in answering a question they asked or something in their pictures caught my interest. Occasionally its cause of a great profile.
and for question # 2 : I never complain that I can't find anyone. | |
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| do average women with numerous emails even try to get to know a man on pof?
Posted: 2/5/2009 7:30:39 AM |
(1.) are any of you ladies experiencing this and then making the above revelation in your own mind that you should select a good one from a large bunch and explore him with a weeks worth or more of back and forth emailing?
I don't get a bunch (how many is that?) of emails. The majority of them are gibberish that I have no idea how to respond to. I usually end up sending a thank you for your email and best of luck to you response.
()2.are you getting so many emails that you just keep reading them for the entertainment value and then complain you can't find anyone?
So many that you read them for entertainment? What an odd thing to believe of people. If I was actually entertained by an email I would continue to correspond with hope of a friendship if nothing else. Complain that I can't find anyone? Pleh. No complaints here. This is but another avenue to reach out to people I would never meet in real life. | |
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| do average women with numerous emails even try to get to know a man on pof?
Posted: 2/5/2009 8:09:45 AM | #1, I answer every email I get. I think if someone takes the time to write me, the least I can do is write back. All it takes is a minute of my time and with the exception of one person, I've gotten pretty nice replies back of understanding, etc.
#2, Unfortunately OP, yes some of them have provided a bit of entertainment. Yes those very emails told me to run for the hills, but I still thank the writer and wished him luck. Nothing wrong with my being polite...
No, I can't complain I can't find anyone. While I do hang out in the forums, do search profiles, date a few of the men I've corresponded with, I don't use PoF as the only means of dating... their is life in the real world too.... | |
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| do average women with numerous emails even try to get to know a man on pof?
Posted: 2/5/2009 8:14:19 AM |
(1.) are any of you ladies experiencing this and then making the above revelation in your own mind that you should select a good one from a large bunch and explore him with a weeks worth or more of back and forth emailing?
I respond to about 80% of the emails that I get. I don't keep track of who emails me unless they were memorable in a good way. If I don't even feel something through simple correspondence, you're going to get a "Let's be friends, I'm not interested” email from me.
If I check you out and I'm really interested in you, I'm not going to sit here and email you for a few weeks. I'm going to move it to real time reality as soon as possible within reason. You're going to know with surety that I am interested. If I am emailing you for months, that means you're not dating material to me and you're forehead has been slapped with a Friend sticker.
If there was one man that hit all the bells, then yes, I wouldn't just correspond with him exclusively, I'd be with him exclusively!
()2.are you getting so many emails that you just keep reading them for the entertainment value and then complain you can't find anyone?
I concur with OneMoreTimeWithFeeling's statement exactly. I'm looking for one person, not three, four, ten or twenty. | |
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Landra
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Joined: 9/10/2007
Msg: 16 | |
| do average women with numerous emails even try to get to know a man on pof?
Posted: 2/5/2009 9:46:43 AM | I reply to all, or most. If anyone follows up after that, I'll see how it goes. But most men don't bother with more than 1-2 emails before they move on. Seems they have short attention spans.
Believe me, 98% of the emails are far from entertaining. They're boring, poorly written, obscene in some cases, and time consuming to sift through. | |
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| do average women with numerous emails even try to get to know a man on pof?
Posted: 2/5/2009 9:55:26 AM | ^The favorites list has nothing to do with emails and dating. I post a lot in the forums and people add me to their favorites. You can't control who adds you. I don't even have a favorites list of my own. I only talk in email to a handful of the people who have favored me. It's funny to me that some men are intimidated by the favorite number. Most (not all) men don't read profiles but they care about the favorites number. Oh and get this...I have a lot of women that favor me.
I weeded that silly list down a year ago from some ridiculous number in the 450 range. I had NO clue who 80% of those people were. I had 28 left and now it is what it is. The list I generate is 31 people and only 5 are men. I finally added a blip in my profile about that silly number on the bottom of my profile. Good grief ~ using that as an indicator of someone's personal life is like looking to see if they've sent out one of those silly virtual roses ~ sigh......... 
~OT~ I reply to every first email and have since I joined POF. After the first email, it's subjective. I don't read email for entertainment value ~ I read it because that's what we do here and you never really know why someone is writing. I've made wonderful friends here ~ that wouldn't have happened had I not taken the time to read and respond. | |
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| do average women with numerous emails even try to get to know a man on pof?
Posted: 2/5/2009 11:29:09 AM | Uhm..
You are saying that if a woman doesn't write back, then we should expect multiple e/mail notes. The only hope of you leaving us alone is to reply to you the first time before you flood us with heaps of unwanted mail?
*whispers out the side of her mouth*
..--girls, this is a red flag.. look, do you see it? stalker potential--
So uh yeah.. Uhm..
*Backs slowly away from the post by Robert*
See ya!
*runs out of topic* | |
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| do average women with numerous emails even try to get to know a man on pof?
Posted: 2/5/2009 12:49:19 PM | I answer most my e-mails if they are nice and don't look as if they copy and paste them.
I have only met 2 off this site who were crazy stories and one nice man.
I am very selective on who I spend time with. I've been in a couple not so healthy relationships and won't do it again so I am cautious. In this crazy world of ours we should be. | |
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| do average women with numerous emails even try to get to know a man on pof?
Posted: 2/5/2009 1:16:49 PM | as a man (and the OP) i am led to believe you women are just inundated with emails. my female friend says she get 20 a day and sometimes more on pof.
i just don't know how you ladies deal with an enormous number like that. how do you remember any of the details of people's lives? if i get 3 or 4 different women emailing me i have look back to several of the letters to remember some of the bits and pieces they've told me. so what i like to do is just keep it simple and write to one at a time. then phone if there's a connection. i'm on here to find a girlfriend! kisses | |
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| do average women with numerous emails even try to get to know a man on pof?
Posted: 2/5/2009 2:01:24 PM | It is up to each individual as to how they manage their profile, emails, favorites etc.
There is no ((right)) way nor a ((wrong)) way...
for myself: the content of the email determines IF and/or how i respond...
would you like to have a threesome? = no response
damn your fine! = no response
i'd like to give you a body massage = no response
what cup size are you = no response
call, text, email me (complete with all three) = no response
i say thank you to a polite comment or compliment
i will converse with someone who peaks my interest (i can detect very early on in correspondence whether or not there is (compatibility)...i am not going to lead a man or or waste anyone's time on here...
NOR would i want a guy to humor me or lead me on...
and as far as entertainment value...?? hmmm.....i wouldn't necessarily consider the emails to be entertaining.....the forums yes, the emails mmmmmm Not SA much!!
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| do average women with numerous emails even try to get to know a man on pof?
Posted: 2/5/2009 2:28:42 PM | | I can't speak for other women but if I have been talking to someone for a couple of weeks and I think that they are interesting I will ussually meet them. It is my desire to find someone and I like this platform because it's definitely better than set ups or meeting someone in a bar. The problem is I like to talk to people for a couple of weeks first and I think some people look at that as dissinterest but it is more of a safety issue for me. I can usually read people pretty good and if I am still talking to you after a week or two it means that I feel more at ease . Yes I have been totally blown away by people who missrepresented themselves but that's life . | |
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