| Need some help here...
Posted: 2/11/2009 9:31:42 PM | I worked fairly hard on my profile to portray myself as me the best I can, but for some reason I'm a repellant for 98% of guys on here..  Can anybody help me out or tell me what I'm doing wrong? I can take the honesty.  | |
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Arsix
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Joined: 1/13/2009
Msg: 2 | |
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| Need some help here...
Posted: 2/12/2009 2:58:21 AM | Apparently the words "brutally honest" are a killer so maybe put something like "very genuine." Maybe take down the pics of you making funny faces and save them for a guy who feels some fondness for you. I'd say change your main image; your hair kind of blends in and it's hard to see you. I think the one in the sweatshirt is adorable.
Maybe put some more serious interests and try to avoid mentioning a love of children; guys probably run from that like bats out of hell. | |
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| Need some help here...
Posted: 2/12/2009 5:45:33 AM | Hey - As I'm trying to get feedback on my profile - It'd be rude not to offer some back.
First - and I know that I am not photogenic at all - the choice of photos. I reckon that the one in the grey top should be the profile picture. Lose the second one, the one with the kid, the one in the blue top, and the last one. The current pic is ok, but sporty college girl is hotter than the current one.
Second - and I'm still on asthetics, the photos that you've posted make you look overweight, which for the lazy reader could mean an immedite exit. Given that you're 18, that you work out and play softball - you're plainly trying to and will be able to sort this. Perhaps you could empasise if this is something you're doing often and how great it's going. We all want people to see our potential - and this would help.
For a girl - your profile is very long. It seems to be one rule for the ladies, one for the guys on this front.
You could probably trim your self summary into 2 paragraphs. You like to tell things like they are, and you're "not afraid to tell a few risky jokes - but never mean any harm lol" ....
Music - fine, films - ok, books - I'd say just cut it entirely. Reading is not an interest you can share. Food - WTF? Forget all about milk, and dairy products. Italian and chinese are great, and you'll get away with a throw away line about cheese!
You want to re-do the typical Friday night thing - it's a bit boring. Why don't you say what you'd like to do on a Friday - before saying you've got your head screwed on straight, and saying if you've neglected your work in the week you sometimes have to chop in the partying (even in sometimes means almost always!)
Don't plead for people to message you. Just say you pretty much always reply, and love chatting.
Job Done! | |
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| Need some help here...
Posted: 2/12/2009 12:04:50 PM | | The profile does a good job of explaining who you are. I wonder if you might have better luck meeting guys in real life at school? Have you had any luck with that? | |
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| Need some help here...
Posted: 2/12/2009 12:48:57 PM | Well thank you all, but with the criticism that 2 of you provided you're telling me to basically not be myself. I think I'm just better off leaving my profile as it is and waiting for somebody that likes me for me. I am always myself, no holdbacks, so why would I portray that any differently on my profile? The pictures are staying. The silly faces are because, well, my friends say I tend to do those a lot. The one of my little brother and I is very important. He is my world and anybody that's not accepting of him is obviously not accepting of me. As for my pictures making me look overweight, well, yes, they're me.. I AM fat. I do work out every day, but I'm still this size at least for now, so why would I only put up the pictures that I look great in? I have good days and I have bad. As Marilyn Monroe said, if you can't handle me at my worst you don't deserve me at my best.
Thanks :) | |
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| Need some help here...
Posted: 2/12/2009 3:08:55 PM | Ok first off your photos are all head shots, I see that and it sais "procide with caution)
I mean you are a very attractive woman and nomatter what your body looks like someone will find it attractive because us men like what we like, we just want to know if we like it before contacting you.
I know your profile says " A few extra pounds, and take this from a guy who actually likes women alittle on the thick side, not all women carry extra weight well, some women can be 100lbs over BMI and look great ( all boobs, hips and butt) and some women can be only 15lbs over BMI and look like they are 3 months pregnate hell I have sen really thin women who look like rocky the flying squirrel when they lift there arms.
Also you have 2 pics with a friend in the pic with you.
she is very attractive, on your profile its a no no to have other attractive people on your photos, and even through you are pretty evenly matched with her it does take attention away from you.
And now to the profile itself, I will respond as if I was reading your profile thinking about responding to you and my thoughts on what I would be in for if I contacted you.
I'm goal oriented, smart, brutally honest with a little twist of random and I know what I want.
Ok as a guy this tells me you will break me trying to keep up with the joneses
and brutally honest means you will nick pick every thing I do in a harsh way.
I am not afraid to tell people how it is
I'd be afraid you'd coach me during sex. or complain about the anniversery present I agonixed for weeks picking out for you..
although I am far from being a heinous b*tch.
Have people mistaken you for one?
I like to keep my world drama free,
This would tell me you would dump me after the first disagreement.
which is (not to go into stereotypes here..) probably the biggest reason that I don't hang out with many girls.
Have you heard the song "she said he's just a friend"? having a few gay friends is ok but having MOSTLY male friends is like having built in competition and alot of GOOD men
would avoid that like rabid chipmunks.
(having 5 brothers and only 1 sister probably had some effect on this)
So if we break up I'd have to watch my back for 5 angry guys looking to defend your honor? | |
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| Need some help here...
Posted: 2/12/2009 8:44:33 PM | | All advice has been considered, thought out, and changed if necessary. Thanks :) | |
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| Need some help here...
Posted: 2/12/2009 8:52:39 PM | The french maid costume doesn't do anything, delete it, put the orig. pic back.
Profile text is good but follow morts advice. | |
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| Need some help here...
Posted: 2/12/2009 9:04:54 PM | | I would suggest you definitely use the photo in the blue sweatshirt or the one in the leaves as your main photo - they are GORGEOUS! And NO you aren't FAT! BTW, would remove the caption on one of your photos that says "boobies". Good luck! XV | |
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| Need some help here...
Posted: 2/12/2009 11:00:15 PM | Your a good honest gal. Softball ROCKS!
There are boys who will find you attractive regardless of your weight. I would frankly take out all reference to it, leave the pics (except the really big smiley one, it's a little...much) and let them come to you. That isn't dishonest, that just says "This is me, *2 snaps, 1 headbob* this is who I am, if ya don't like it, bye sucka!
It's clear you're a big hearted gal as well, the right guy...maybe a shy one, maybe not the captain of the baseball team, will think you are all that and a cup of sugar! Go for him!
I can't see you honestly making it very far through college without SOMEBODY wanting a date with you.
And leave the kids bit, there are guys with them that appreciate seeing that, trust me! | |
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| Need some help here...
Posted: 2/12/2009 11:03:59 PM | | hey thanks :) really very very much! I love getting all this input.. it's definitely things to consider! it's nice to have other opinions! | |
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| Need some help here...
Posted: 2/13/2009 8:55:10 AM | ok your profile is 95% more apealing.
but this line might still scare away some good guys.
I'm goal oriented, smart, honest and genuine.
To many guys this translates to " I am a workaholic and wont have time for you"
you are trying to get a date and that is more like what you would put in a resume.
And unlike women most men dont give a crap about your goals or career we pick women based on attraction and stay with women based on how they make us feel.
so you might want to replace that line with:
I'm a loving, smart, honest and genuine.
And the next line I will speak about sounds kinda harsh.
I am not afraid to tell people how it is, but I respect their feelings as well. I am a woman that doesn't come with any drama and doesn't play games.
This translates to I will kindly put you in your place, and I'm passive aggressive .
this can be replaced with.
I will always be honest with you and respect their feelings. I am a woman that doesn't come with any drama and doesn't play games.
Hope this helps. | |
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| Need some help here...
Posted: 2/13/2009 9:21:40 AM | I really liked your profile, it's straight to the point, kind of like mine. I think alot of men are scared by strong independent women. There is nothing you can do to change that. You wrote in your profile who you are, and that's just who you are and you can't change that.
Best of luck and be strong, don't change for anyone!
-K | |
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| Need some help here...
Posted: 2/13/2009 9:32:38 AM |
I really liked your profile, it's straight to the point, kind of like mine. I think alot of men are scared by strong independent women. There is nothing you can do to change that. You wrote in your profile who you are, and that's just who you are and you can't change that.
Best of luck and be strong, don't change for anyone!
It is not about changing anyone its about how you word things,
many women confuse strong and independent with loud and emotionally distant.
so if that is not the case you have to use kinder words because the others have gotten bad press because of the femanazis. | |
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| Need some help here...
Posted: 2/15/2009 6:45:57 PM | | Change your main pic to any other. Honestly if I hadn't been viewing your profile to help you out with this forum I wouldn't have ever clicked on you. In thumbnail size it is horrible. You look adorable in all your pics, but you really should pic a different main pic. Try them out and find one that looks better shrunk down. The one in the blue velvet, pink top or the last one with that leaves all look great in thumbnail size. | |
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| Need some help here...
Posted: 2/15/2009 7:19:38 PM | hey thanks :D I always wonder if some of my pictures are crazy bad haha.. but then again they're all me, so I really can't help it.  | |
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| Need some help here...
Posted: 2/15/2009 8:01:32 PM | Profile looks OK (now, did not see if you had tweaked it)
Maybe it's the market.
10-12 years ago when I was a college student at GMI in Flint, we used to travel to CMU because the girl-guy ratio was much, much MUCH better in our favor. That and my roommate's sister had a spare finished basement we could crash in.
Maybe finding some friends to take a trip down to Flint when there is a big party going on at GMI (now Kettering) would not be a bad idea.
Can't give much more useful info on the profile than has already been said, but seeing that you are a CMU student, the reverse of what we used to do popped into my head as a general suggestion. | |
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| Need some help here...
Posted: 2/15/2009 8:23:24 PM | haha thanks. it could be the market.
or the fact that I'm not 5'3 and 104 pounds. | |
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| Need some help here...
Posted: 2/15/2009 8:33:23 PM | We guys had a similar problem at GMI,
If you weren't jacked and driving a nice car and wearing fancy stuff, you better have a GF elsewhere because you were not getting one there.
Maybe you are having the female version of that problem. Is CMU still 4 or 5 girls to every guy? I haven't been there in almost 10 years so I don't know if it had changed. From your profile you seem pretty and fun and if I was a college student again, I'd ask you out.
Don't worry too much about the weight, as long as you stay healthy. A good chunk of it seems to have gone to a place where most guys won't mind. | |
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| Need some help here...
Posted: 2/15/2009 8:54:31 PM | Definitely! I actually work on it quite hard, I work out every night 
I'm not sure what the ratio is.. I'd say it's pretty even, maybe more chicks. but yeah, central girls have that rep for being tiny and slutty. most people have gfs/bfs from another college, or home or whatever. | |
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| Need some help here...
Posted: 2/16/2009 5:47:09 AM | I like what you did with your interests because the non-underlined ones are really funny. You could try a profile along these lines:
I’m done with the party scene because I’ve got homework to do, but I’ll make time for you if you can play the piano. I know that ‘s very specific, and I’ll still make time for you if you can’t (you’ll just have to try harder). I also have a weird thing for braces, glasses, Asians and guys with kids, but again… I’m flexible.
I am very active - I’m a terror on the softball field and at the gym. I enjoy camping and the outdoors. I also love movies and music. With regard to movies, I love laughing at a well-made comedy or screaming at a gruesome horror flick. As for other types of movies, I just don’t want to be crying at the end when the credits roll. Two of my all-time favorite movies are Never Been Kissed and Eddie and the Cruisers.
When it comes to music, I can get into anything that puts a smile on my face or makes me want to get up and dance. But I really enjoy hip hop, ‘80s hair bands, and rock. I also tend to like more.. unconventional types. (One band I am excited about is NeverShoutNever!)
First Date
Dinner is fine, but [ice] skating is better. If you can’t think of anything unusual, then I’ll give you a list. | |
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| Need some help here...
Posted: 2/16/2009 5:53:04 AM | | I also could use some constructive criticism on how my profile looks to a woman,Is better than it was,but still not completely satisfied with it. chris | |
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