| The name is just to get thier attention...Hep me' Hep me'...
Posted: 2/13/2009 8:59:55 AM | Hey Guys and Gals,
Rarely do I get a response when I make first contact, so I have relinquished those duties to the ladies for now...Yes, yes I know all about chilvery and the like, but we all know that this site leans toward the ladies favor, and they can pick and choose to thier hearts content...That being said, I now turn the focus on the question at hand...what do you think of my Book? Content Heavy?...I know I have more than the average bear on my profile, but I have so much to say...
I get alot of traffic, and alot of " looky lou's", and even alot of messages saying how much they like my profile, but I'm not getting the attention of my core audience...There are some ladies that live very far away that "View me" on a constant basis that I am (or would be ) interested in, but NOBODY even bothers to say "HI" ...confusing...so I thought I would open the doors of Critique and see what you guys thought...so fire away! | |
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| The name is just to get thier attention...Hep me' Hep me'...
Posted: 2/13/2009 9:14:26 AM | Personally and this is ONLY my opinion. Your name screams immature, especially for a 44 year old man.
Next, I only got to the first paragraph and already had to close the screen. I think a man should make the first contact, and you're making yourself sound like a little kid stomping your foot saying " I don't wanna, and you can't make me".
That's all the farther I got and just thought I'd throw my opinion in there.
Good luck though!!
-K | |
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| The name is just to get thier attention...Hep me' Hep me'...
Posted: 2/13/2009 12:07:18 PM |
New EDIT 2009: Apparently I really suck when making first contact with someone here on POF, so I'm going to waive my rights and leave that up to you from now on...not being stuck up, just facing facts...so if you are interested, shoot me a message...otherwise we aren't ever going to meet, no matter how many times I look at your profile, or you look at mine...and unlike the uncouth of you out there, I do answer all emails and show appreciation whether I'm interested or not....OK! Rant over, now back to your regularly scheduled profile.....
This is NOT helping you. It sounds like you are saying "Oh, poor pitiful me, women won't respond. Whaaaaaaa". | |
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| The name is just to get thier attention...Hep me' Hep me'...
Posted: 2/13/2009 2:50:11 PM | Not a good profile.
First, your Interest List will run off most of the Women. Kissing, massages, caressing, and this one: Reciprocation. Oh, man, take that crap out. Laughing Babies is an interest? Girls and Goofy Girls would be an interest for a fourteen year old.
In the written part of the profile, you have an entire paragraph talking about the lady's body; then another paragraph about photos. None of this is good for a profile. I gave up reading after that.
My advice would be to check out the profile writing tips at the top of the profile review page. | |
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| The name is just to get thier attention...Hep me' Hep me'...
Posted: 4/2/2009 7:34:27 AM |
5...4...3...2...1...*click* moving on...The average person knows within the first 5 seconds whether they are attracted to someone or not, surprised? you shouldn't be, in today's society its all about the looks! A hard pill to swallow for some, but a Multi Billion Dollar fashion industry can't be wrong. Of course Personality is EXTREMELY important (notice how I put that all in caps) but you can't know how someone's personality is at first glance...that only comes with conversation, which will never happen if they aren't attracted to you enough to listen to what you have to say in the first place...kind of a vicious circle.
Bad opening. You have been defeated before you even get throught he 1st sentence bro? What is that?
This is the part where I'm supposed to sell you on what a Wonderful, Funny, Intelligent(E=Mc2), Honest, Caring all around good guy I am...which is all pretty much true, depending on who you ask, but your really not interested in all of that if your not attracted to me....However, if you have made it this far, and are actually reading instead of just clicking the next pic (yes, women can be shallow too) I'll throw out a few more selling points just for good measure.
You are not gonna have much luck in getting responses or contacts by throwing out broad judgements. Yes women can be shallow like everyone else, but what good will it do to put it in your text. Give me 1 example where this can help you?
*I only work three days a week, because of this I have a very active social life, I hang out with friends ALOT, I go out to eat ALOT (although I am a very good cook), While out with friends we go see Live Bands, go Dancing, and enjoy just hanging out in general which also includes going to movies ALOT. All of my friends are younger (I feel very lucky for this and have never felt like the old guy tagging along), so I have a younger outlook/attitude towards life. Because of this my tastes tend to be towards someone who lives an ACTIVE lifestyle and can keep up...IE no couch potatoes...Have your own interests and activities your involved in, and don't require us to be together 24/7 (We all need our "Me" time) which only makes the time your together that much better!
You could rephrase this to make it way more appealing. The way you frame it you make it sound like they should be grateful just to get to hang out with you! Yes we all need our 'me' time, I bet you can come up with a classier way to put this.
*Admittedly all these activities would slow down so I could divert all of my energies toward you, IF you and me became Us! Lets get a contact first! then maybe a date or 2 and then start with all the 'US' stuff. I simply want to meet someone I am attracted to, and that is attracted to me, we can work through the other stuff if the attraction is there...isn't that how it's really supposed to work in Real Life!? I mean come on, your really not going to go out with someone simply because they don't like the same music you do, have brown Hair or has Cooties...of course not... This is not going to help your cause and it is bordering on desperate. it almost sounds like you're saying, "look, I am really horny, if you can deal with me I will deal with you, even if you have a horn sticking out your butt, please email me!" I am not saying that you are desperate, but it sure sounds that way. Online, perception is everything. I have condensed my "book" down to these few paragraphs because I've come to my senses and realized in the real world you can't make people fit into the impossible list you make for yourself here, you either accept them for who they are, foibles and all, or you don't...Ideally (Prince Charming, your Soul Mate, and the One) are the imaginary, perfect people we all hope to one day meet...Reality (you and me) is the real life person standing before you willing to give it a chance and hope for the best...which is all we can really hope for in this mixed up, kooky world we live in... Here again, samething and you are stating the obvious. We all want to be desirable, and to be Loved ( who doesn't...Freak!). The only thing we fail to realize is that it takes a lot of hard work, determination, time, love and understanding to make any relationship work, and only after all those things fall into place will you come to see that The One or your Soul Mate has been right there with you all along. Not bad! great closing, not too sure how many people will make it this far but it is a good ending. It is like a really cold ice pack and a comfortable couch right after you got kicked in the nutz. | |
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