| Any single fathers (full-time) had success in dating/relationship?
Posted: 6/26/2005 2:35:16 AM | Probably not the place to ask (I wouldn't be reading this if Iwere in a relationship) but, anyone had success in a new relationship while struggling to support and parent your child?
(single full-time dad of 5 y/o girl, starting a relationship with a single mom of a 6 y/o boy) | |
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| Any single fathers (full-time) had success in dating/relationship?
Posted: 6/26/2005 7:16:52 AM | I have/had lost of issues. I WAS fulltime dad but now we are doing shared parenting. I have 4 boys, and just the number of kids is a turn off for most women.
I can understand the womens point, BUT I guess it bothers me still. Im not asking them to mother my children, just to accpet the fact they are around. Having said that,  I HATE BEING SINGLE AND GETTING REJECTED FOR BEING A RESPONSIBLE FATHER AND TAKING CARE OF MY KIDS.
Iv had several ladies tell me if I did not have kids, they would be all willing to go out, but they wont date guys with kids, or that have children in their lives. | |
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| Any single fathers (full-time) had success in dating/relationship?
Posted: 6/29/2005 6:46:30 AM | I agree with ICEMAN. I have talked t oa few "ladies" and most of them tell me the same thing. "If i didnt have kids' or "i dont want to start over again". Also i have read that some just dont want to deal wit hthe "EX". I dont have an "EX" . My wife died 2 years ago and still that dont matter. I do understand not wanting to start over.But if they want a decent guy ,somone dedicated to a "FAMILY" here we are!
I just figure sooner or later i should meet someone who is willingto give not only me a break but my kids. | |
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| Any single fathers (full-time) had success in dating/relationship?
Posted: 6/29/2005 12:28:20 PM |
Probably not the place to ask (I wouldn't be reading this if Iwere in a relationship) but, anyone had success in a new relationship while struggling to support and parent your child?
Nope. But then again, I never had any success before I became a single father either.
I think there are alot of insecure women out there when it comes to men with kids. We live in a society that just doesn't like the idea. The system tries to prevent it in any way it can. I think most women feel defeminized when they're around a man with a child. | |
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| Any single fathers (full-time) had success in dating/relationship?
Posted: 6/29/2005 1:07:54 PM | | Single moms have trouble because the guy doesn't want to be tied down, and even then there are many men who don't have a problem with it out there. Single fathers are doing something the society in general disagrees with. People want to see men doing the fist fighting and they want to see women raising children. When one group does the other activity people get uncomfortable. I could tell you stories. "Where's his mom? Oh, she only has him on the weekend, thats sad." Why is it sad? You don't hear too many people thinking a child is going to be destroyed when they tell you the dad sees him on the weekend, they usually think thats good enough. | |
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| Any single fathers (full-time) had success in dating/relationship?
Posted: 6/29/2005 1:24:53 PM | Tell me about it, it seems a lot of women, (not all) just think we are looking for a mother for our kids. I have been a fulltime single dad of two for three years now and one is now 4, so I went through the youngest most trying years. I do not want a mother, but on the same token I would want someone who would love my children and be a rolemodel, friend and care giver, that would be an expected thing if the person was interested in you. I had a horrible experiance when I had a relationship with a woman who had no children. She was great at first, but after moving her into our home the trouble started. I will no longer even date a woman who does not have kids. I am sure single women go through the same thing, but point of the matter is that not everyone are the same and there are men and women out there that do accept others kids as their own, problem is it seems they are all taken or in a relationship already.
Just My Two Cents
Hogan | |
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| Any single fathers (full-time) had success in dating/relationship?
Posted: 6/29/2005 1:29:21 PM | man that is for sure, the looks I get sometimes and the comments I hear make me sick! Then there is the factthat there is NO help for single fathers out here, no Denise House for men, no pregnacy help center, and god help if I take the kids to sallyanne to look at clothes or anything, the looks and the assumptions just show how society still believes that the woman should have the children, well in my case the mother is diagnosed schzophrenic, bi-polar and manic depressive,, does not pay support and is a danger to the children. People in general just do not see the whole picture.
Hogan | |
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*Em*
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Joined: 6/29/2005
Msg: 15 | |
| Any single fathers (full-time) had success in dating/relationship?
Posted: 6/29/2005 11:50:25 PM | men all over the world get judged or even questioned about being a full time single father.
women are not to blame for the stigma attatched..its simply society and a true sign that the world is not moving on with the times.
i myself have not met any single fathers. because i have 4 young children they tend to avoid me like the plague lol but belive me..i would love to! single men dont fully understand the demands kids put on you and your social life and in the end many of my relationships fail simply because they are too scared or cant handle the thought of my children.
i take my hat off to all single fathers and i think they should be respected and treated as equals to us single mums.
people seem to think you are seeking a mother/father figure..as has been said, many dont know or dont take the time to see the full picture.
so bring it on single dads..im here!!  | |
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| Any single fathers (full-time) had success in dating/relationship?
Posted: 6/30/2005 3:00:29 AM | [quote=Sasssy]men all over the world get judged or even questioned about being a full time single father.
women are not to blame for the stigma attatched..its simply society and a true sign that the world is not moving on with the times.
i myself have not met any single fathers. because i have 4 young children they tend to avoid me like the plague lol but belive me..i would love to! single men dont fully understand the demands kids put on you and your social life and in the end many of my relationships fail simply because they are too scared or cant handle the thought of my children.
i take my hat off to all single fathers and i think they should be respected and treated as equals to us single mums.
people seem to think you are seeking a mother/father figure..as has been said, many dont know or dont take the time to see the full picture.
so bring it on single dads..im here!!
I take my hat off to you. Four kids must be real tough.
Sadly, single fathers are not treated equally and the system discourages their existance. I could go on and on about this for ten posts. I take care of my child five days a week but his mother gets five hundred dollars a month in benefits for him, even though she is able to work full time and I'm only able to work on the weekend because I'm single and going to school. I get nothing and she's never offered anything. I almost lost him entirely once because she sued me for custody to fix a lie she stated in her FIA application that would have led her to a fraud conviction. Noone believed a thing I said, the whole government sided with her. It wasnt until my couter-suit which involved written testimonies of more than fourty people who had witnessed her do things you wouldn't even imagine that she settled.
When we go to one of my sons doctors appointment together, the doctor pretends I'm not even there, even though I'm the one who will be giving him the medicine or whatever and she only really spends about half a day a week with him because she choses to work even when he's at her home. He was hospitalized once with asthma and everytime a nurse came in the room she asked me when his mother was going to get there. When I said not till the weekend the woman would just leave.
When he was a baby I couldn't even stand having any women over. Every woman you know thinks she knows more about your child than you do. They see the child cry and they tell you he's probably hungry (assuming I don't feed him) even though he ate like a pig five minutes ago. "He's crying because he just had his bath and he likes me to read to him for a bit afterwards. He has child OCD." I'll say and she'll say "Oh, I'll go get him some baby food." AHHHHHHHHH! Makes me just want to tear her throat out.
I guess I did talk more than I said I would. I could say much more though. | |
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| Any single fathers (full-time) had success in dating/relationship?
Posted: 6/30/2005 3:09:49 AM | I don't know if this is a federa, state, or local thing but the FOC in my county actually has a POLICY that any child under age three should be with the mother more than the father. My son has never given a soiled diaper about his mother. He likes her, but he's never regarded her as any more important than his grandmother or his siblings.
Some scientist spread this idea about maternal pheromones and every Nanny magazine just ate it up. Even though the data has been questioned again and again, noone ever discusses it. Whoever takes care of a child more consistently and affectionately is who the child will bond with. I've seen this proven again and again. | |
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*Em*
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Joined: 6/29/2005
Msg: 18 | |
| Any single fathers (full-time) had success in dating/relationship?
Posted: 6/30/2005 6:03:50 AM | Adensdad..i take my hat off to you also..anyone raising a child alone/be it part time or full time must have nerves of steel!!
i have also had many b/friends who seem to think they "know" the cure to my sons crying..and then they have the audacity to applaud me when i do something they see as "correct"!! its extremely patronising to say the least and it doesnt suprise me when women do it too.
however..i can also symapthise with them.. the men i have dated dont seem to know what role to play. they naturally presume that im seeking a father figure for my babies or a disciplinarian (excuse bad spelling).
when will people (male/f) realise that us single parents are simply looking for a soul mate like the rest of the human race?
my ex husband has lost many women over our children...they hate the fact that his children come first with regards to a "date".
schools have discriminated him ie: when he goes alone to a parents evening/sports day etc, they seem to look at him in symapthy..he cant make a descision alone without my permission..same with hospitals and likewise doctors.
its a shame and it really is about time something was done about it. men can give children the same love and care as any woman. they can hug/kiss and sing lullabys like the rest of us.
they just need to be given the chance!
lol i think ive said enough  | |
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| Any single fathers (full-time) had success in dating/relationship?
Posted: 6/30/2005 9:02:55 AM | | I just recently became a single parent. I just turned 21 and have a 14 month-old son. The mother and I just separated and I don't really know what to do. Most girls my age really aren't looking for a guy who has a kid. I'm not asking anyone to commit to me and get married, but just have some fun for now. One good thing is girls will approach me or it's easier to approach them with my son since he's a cute little boy. But when it comes to actually attracting a girl myself and then telling them I have a kid, it really scares them off because, understandably, they don't want the "extra baggage," as I've heard it put. Any other young single dads out there with some advice? | |
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| Any single fathers (full-time) had success in dating/relationship?
Posted: 6/30/2005 6:42:04 PM | Hey Lonesomeknight:
You just don't look in the right places.....there are many women who are willing to date men who have kids......now in the same turn around it is just as hard for a women......every man looks at me like a baby makin machine just cause i have a daughter and have anthor on the way.......no tell where do you find a man who wants to be with a single mother of 2 kids......hunny i am not even 22 yet.......so women go through the same problem as men.
monika | |
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| Any single fathers (full-time) had success in dating/relationship?
Posted: 6/30/2005 11:42:05 PM |
Adensdad..i take my hat off to you also..anyone raising a child alone/be it part time or full time must have nerves of steel!!
i have also had many b/friends who seem to think they "know" the cure to my sons crying..and then they have the audacity to applaud me when i do something they see as "correct"!! its extremely patronising to say the least and it doesnt suprise me when women do it too.
however..i can also symapthise with them.. the men i have dated dont seem to know what role to play. they naturally presume that im seeking a father figure for my babies or a disciplinarian (excuse bad spelling).
when will people (male/f) realise that us single parents are simply looking for a soul mate like the rest of the human race?
my ex husband has lost many women over our children...they hate the fact that his children come first with regards to a "date".
schools have discriminated him ie: when he goes alone to a parents evening/sports day etc, they seem to look at him in symapthy..he cant make a descision alone without my permission..same with hospitals and likewise doctors.
its a shame and it really is about time something was done about it. men can give children the same love and care as any woman. they can hug/kiss and sing lullabys like the rest of us.
they just need to be given the chance!
lol i think ive said enough
How much one says is of little signifigance compared to the quality of what they say and your words have much quality. I further applaud your ability to empathize with your ex husband. It takes quite a person to come to that state of mind so easily. I am courteous and considerate with my sons mother, but to be honest, I find it difficult to wish her success in anything outside of helping Aden. I believe the woman has antisocial personality disorder. I cannot think of her like a human being because I've yet to see evidence that she is one.
I think the major issue with the world when it comes to fathers is what the kids miss out on. The government should be doing whatever it can in these situations to keep the courts out of the custody arrangements. Now there are too many procedures that actually require someone to sue someone else. The parents themselves have a hard enough time deciding in the single hour they have to file their complaints what is best for the child over the remaining fifteen or so years of their youth, that one cannot fathom how a court-officer can think he would know.
Now I'm not putting all the blame on social stigmas. Much of the stigma is based in reality, as most stigmas are. The virus of hyper-masculinity is rampant in modern america I am sad to admit, and too many men just don't have it in them to make the adjustments in their life and outlook to be desent parents. Children need affection, patience and a close watching eye. Too many men are trained to think those traits are expendable. | |
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| Any single fathers (full-time) had success in dating/relationship?
Posted: 7/2/2005 9:10:44 AM | | I know women have the same "problem". But i think we all need to give each other a break and try to get to know each other based on our qualities ( or lack of). Not by does he/she have kids arleady. I welcome dating a lady with kids. Even better if they are around my kids ages. This way i know we have something important in common. | |
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| Any single fathers (full-time) had success in dating/relationship?
Posted: 7/2/2005 3:57:58 PM | Just to let you know it is possible. I had a four year relationship with a woman that had no children of her own. She took mine in like it was hers. She shopped for him, took him everywhere with her, would bend over backwards for him. We seem to had a good life for the period of time we had together. Some times people aren't meant to be together so that is where that went to, but there are beautiful women out there that will except this. If not then it was never meant to be. Just my thoughts. | |
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khama
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Joined: 3/31/2005
Msg: 25 | |
| Any single fathers (full-time) had success in dating/relationship?
Posted: 7/2/2005 7:44:06 PM | NOT YET... They keep calling my kids 'baggage' so I get rid of them...
If I meet someone with kids it becomes too hard and becomes difficult
to earn their childrens respect from both sides of the fence. This has
ruined many great relationships in the past for me... But I soldier on.
ONE DAY SHE WILL COME MY WAY... | |
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welcome to a single mom's world buddy lol it's hard man men just don't wanna expect the child woman the same 
