| Is he 'into me' or not?
Posted: 2/15/2009 7:03:29 PM | Hey guys,
Okay, what's your opinion? Is this guy just a flake or lazy or not interested?
I went out on 2 dates with a guy I'm VERY VERY interested in. At the end of the 1st date, he said, 'text me or give me a call if you want to get together again. Hopefully I'll hear from you.' Immediately I thought, "oh, crap, red flag. He's not interested really b/c he didn't say a specific time."
The thing is, I was silly & decided to message him a few days later on msn telling him I had a good time & wanted to get together again. He messaged me back & suggested a movie for the next day. So then, about an hour before the date, he calls me, says his truck is broken and could I come pick HIM up! I was thinking, 'uh, dude! You're the guy here, not me! why are you asking me to do that?!' So, REALLY liking the guy, I said, ok & picked him up & we went to the movies. So then we hung around talking til 11 p.m. & he said, 'we'll have to do this again sometime' & I said, 'definately!'
Then I dropped him off & he goes to kiss me & I, being shy, hug him & kiss him on the cheek instead. Then, the next day, I kind of got worried, thinking he'd interpert my hug as a 'not interested' sign, message him on msn again & say i had a good time, i'm shy, blah, blah & then 3 days later, he messages me back saying, 'don't worry, things are still good here. let me know if you want to get together again. hope to hear from you soon!' I haven't messaged him back yet.
My question is - what should I do? WHY does he keep saying 'hope to hear from you' & then not asking ME for a specific time/date to get together? Is he simply not as interested in me as I thought, even tho he tried to kiss me? Any advice? Insights into a guy's mind? Lol. Thanks in advance! :) | |
|
| Is he 'into me' or not?
Posted: 2/15/2009 7:09:22 PM |
what should I do? WHY does he keep saying 'hope to hear from you' & then not asking ME for a specific time/date to get together? Is he simply not as interested in me as I thought, even tho he tried to kiss me?
Well...shit or get off the pot. You are 25 not 15. Sounds to me that he just does not have a clue what you want....so he is entertaining you ...but not putting any bets on your because you probably appear to be far too stiff and probably a virgin.
Next time you talk to him.....ask him if he wants to go out partying with you and after you two can catch a motel room and take care of your sexual fustration.
 | |
|
| Is he 'into me' or not?
Posted: 2/15/2009 7:15:58 PM | He sounds like he's definitely interested, but may be wanting to make sure that you're really interested. Keep texting and writing.
You might want to realize that peoples cars do break down and get off your high horse about that. What will you expect if your car breaks down? The same response as yours? | |
|
| Is he 'into me' or not?
Posted: 2/15/2009 7:17:34 PM | He is definitely not interested. :=( well not according to all the dating books I've got and only read bits of. 
Erm...regarding the post above,,,if his car was really broken down then he could have got a taxi....sounds like he was holding on to his purse tightly. | |
|
| Is he 'into me' or not?
Posted: 2/15/2009 7:19:24 PM |
My question is - what should I do? WHY does he keep saying 'hope to hear from you' & then not asking ME for a specific time/date to get together? Is he simply not as interested in me as I thought, even tho he tried to kiss me? Any advice? Insights into a guy's mind? Lol. Thanks in advance! :)
Tell ya what...line up another date and see if he's needing you to pick him up again,then ya might have your answer. Imo,someone that doesn't have a working and/or running vehicle possibly isn't really in the best position to suggest the next date. | |
|
| Is he 'into me' or not?
Posted: 2/15/2009 7:20:26 PM | I'd say go out on another date but make sure to have room for a conversation about what you want, e.g. you want specific times mentioned for when to go out and to know how he thinks things are going, as I don't think you should try to read too much into this.
He leaves things flexible for YOU. How should he know that you like that style where he specifies a date and time to get together? You need to communicate more here as he could be doing what he is for 101 reasons ranging from the "he doesn't really know how to date" to "he isn't well organized and really likes spontaneity."
Course that's, JMO. | |
|
| Is he 'into me' or not?
Posted: 2/15/2009 7:38:13 PM | | "What we have here is failure to communicate." He is most likely interested. From what you have said, you may be giving him some mixed signals. "Several days" for the next message he may interpret as you not being that into him. The move to the cheek kiss is a big one, that one sends red flags up all over a man's mind. The not setting a time can be him not wanting to be shot down, so he is leaving a more open end to it. | |
|
| Is he 'into me' or not?
Posted: 2/15/2009 7:47:05 PM | "I went out on 2 dates with a guy I'm VERY VERY interested in."
This quote from your post is what I want to address. Honey, you are not allowed to be VERY VERY interested this soon. The name of the site is Plenty of Fish. Cast a wide net and make those fishies meet your measurement. Have you decided what is okay with you and what is not? Is him having reliable transportation important to you? Is kissing on the second date too soon? You need to create your standards and if the guy isn't meeting them, it's a "catch and release" moment for both of you.
JMHO. | |
|
| Is he 'into me' or not?
Posted: 2/15/2009 7:57:17 PM | This is a definately "easier said than done" post.
Providing transportation isn't a big deal. Calling him isn't a big deal (within reason).
Put the ball in his court. Sounds like he could be a user. But bad things happen to good people. Make him "man up".
Don't call
Don't provide transportation.
.......Unless you want to do it for the rest of your life! | |
|
| Is he 'into me' or not?
Posted: 2/15/2009 8:47:23 PM | You asked for "insights into a guy's mind" Well here it is - first I am ok with him asking you to call him if your interested. We really can't tell. You have no idea how many times weather there will be a second date or not is based on how you say good night. After you let him know that you are interested he should feel better about putting the effort into it. It sounds like you made it pretty clear so I figure he knows how you feel.
Sorry to tell it to you like this but
He is not interested in anything more than sex. And if you keep calling him this will turn into one of those "he left me after we slept together" post.
edit: unless you know for a fact the car was broken - i suspect it was a tatict to get you to his place. | |
|
| Is he 'into me' or not?
Posted: 2/15/2009 9:13:24 PM | | From "this guys mind" nothing he has done is outside of the norm for a guy that likes you. I know ladies like confident guys that makes decisive plans and actions(makes is easy for you to know where he stands) but I know plenty of guys that don't want to put themselves out there for rejection any more than you do. I'll say this, I'd have to really want to see a lady to call and say my car broke down and put it on her to do the driving. My advice is take the physical stuff slow to make sure he's not in it for that, but communicate your interest in him and see if he hangs around. | |
|
| Is he 'into me' or not?
Posted: 2/15/2009 9:28:20 PM | Why are you stuck on the specifics. He has no idea when your available. He has to find that out from you. The specifics are something you BOTH decide when you make the date.
He keeps extending himself to you. He keeps telling you he wants to hear from you. What does the guy have to do? Hire a string quartet. Really OP. Give him a break. Call him or whatever contact you use and tell him when your good. Keep it simple! Your getting in your OWN WAY. | |
|
| Is he 'into me' or not?
Posted: 2/15/2009 10:13:43 PM |
I went out on 2 dates with a guy I'm VERY VERY interested in.
Let's see...you called him, asked him out, went on a date, had a good time.
Do that again.
If you want him, go get him - why are you fussing about gas money and who calls who? Are you some trained dog that can't eat until the master snaps his fingers? | |
|
| Is he 'into me' or not?
Posted: 2/16/2009 12:07:46 AM | So, I passed on this the first time, decided to come back to it. You say you're very interested. Run with it. He's telling you to give him a call. Jebus. Call him. The nonspecific time scare tends to come more with postponed get-togethers than undetermined dates in the future. And if you're that interested, grow some ovaries and see if you can tickle his tonsils.
Edit: Forget that whole "Who is the guy in the relationship here?" crap. So, you had to go pick him up. What happened to liberated women and equality? And dear gods, what are you going to do if he "forgets his wallet?" | |
|
| Is he 'into me' or not?
Posted: 2/16/2009 4:04:24 AM | | OP, it sounds like he is not as interested in you as you are in him. There could be any number of things wrong here, but unless you're leaving out some pertinent details, I'd move on. | |
|
| Is he 'into me' or not?
Posted: 2/16/2009 4:42:47 AM | I think it's one of these:
1. He's fairly shy and unsure and responds best to women who take initiative.
2. He's only mildly interested.
3. He's working you (and probably a few others).
So, are you OK with the dynamic that (1) generates? Are you willing to put yourself out there if it's (2) and he quits later? Can you tell the difference between (3) and 1-2 and be careful in how you progress with him?
If the answer to all three is Yes, then it's your move. If you answer No to any, then you'll have to think hard about the risks (including opportunity risk with regard to putting your energy elsewhere) and rewards. | |
|
Nyte7
|
Joined: 10/19/2008
Msg: 17 | |
| Is he 'into me' or not?
Posted: 2/16/2009 10:44:21 AM | Sounds interested but he's still gauging you. Just keep at it. If they don't give specific dates, it just means they are being nice and not assertive.
However, some guys WILL say that to feign interest but in reality it's really a blow-off. But since you mentioned that he went out with you AGAIN, then of course there is interest. | |
|
| Is he 'into me' or not?
Posted: 2/16/2009 10:52:00 AM | Your own profile reads ..."I'm looking for someone who wants to be friends in the beginning, then progressing to dating"
Now assuming that he read your profile ... it seems that he is trying to do just that .
I think you need to decide what you actually want . | |
|
| Is he 'into me' or not?
Posted: 2/16/2009 11:04:55 AM | | Jackal123 how is she giving mixed signal exactly in her responses to him? I really like to know. :-) | |
|
| Is he 'into me' or not?
Posted: 2/16/2009 11:07:39 AM | Why are you stuck on the specifics. He has no idea when your available. He has to find that out from you. The specifics are something you BOTH decide when you make the date.
He keeps extending himself to you. He keeps telling you he wants to hear from you. What does the guy have to do? Hire a string quartet. Really OP. Give him a break. Call him or whatever contact you use and tell him when your good. Keep it simple! Your getting in your OWN WAY.
Seriously, listen to this. So far we have the possibility he is a) a player, b) using you, c) a drug addict?!?!?! Holy crap, thats what you get when you ask for advice on the internet.
He keeps asking you to call him back, he is interested. You are acting like he is not following the "golden checklist that descended from heaven" that every male must follow to court you.
-He asked you to call him back
-He has gone on two dates with you, and is interested in a third
-He is answering your messages saying everything is just fine
-He tried to kiss you
-He even hung out with you for a few hours and said "We should do this again sometime"
Please, PLEASE dont make this any more complex than it is. Just because he didn't follow page 13, paragraph 4, subsection 23 of the dating rulebook by not making a specific time does NOT mean anything.
if his car was really broken down then he could have got a taxi....sounds like he was holding on to his purse tightly.
Or perhaps she had handy transportation to go out and, you know, DO stuff? Or are we still living in the 1960's where men are required to pick up the girl? | |
|
Home
login 
