| What does "it doesn't have to be complicated mean" ?
Posted: 2/16/2009 12:43:51 PM | I am wondering what it means when someone says that what they want doesn't have to be complicated?
To me as a woman it means they just are looking for a little desert once in a while do you guys agree? | |
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| What does it doesn't have to be complicated mean ?
Posted: 2/16/2009 12:49:55 PM | Not necessarily. It might be a roundabout way of saying that a guy just wants to play in the hay, but not wanting complication can also mean exactly that, that a guy doesn't want to put himself in a situation that he knows is going to get complicated. For example, a guy might not be interested in a girl with kids and a troubling ex because he might see this as a complication. A guy might not want to date a girl who is dating several men because he might see this as a complication.
Just ask the guy what he means by his statement. | |
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| What does it doesn't have to be complicated mean ?
Posted: 2/16/2009 12:50:02 PM | yup. well, no. ummm, kinda.
It doesn't necessarily mean that they are ONLY looking for a little "dessert". But it would definitely mean that they are not looking for a defined commitment type of situation. Dinner, music, playing in the park, movies mate, etc. are all cool, but don't "complicate" things by getting all serious and assigning labels and such... | |
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| What does it doesn't have to be complicated mean ?
Posted: 2/16/2009 12:56:20 PM | You hit it in one swing Karma. Sorry. Some guys are like that. It isnt good, it isnt bad, its who they are. Its when they get you in bed, and you hear this afterwards, that I develope an attitude. I have 2 beautiful daughters, and the thought of either of them having to deal with that sort of.....person, is distressing.
If all you want is mediocre sex (go ahead and disagree, but its true) then that is the guy for you.
The up side is, a man just said your right hehehe.  | |
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| What does it doesn't have to be complicated mean ?
Posted: 2/16/2009 1:01:38 PM | | Thanks Stilwater no this was not after a romp in the hay .I met this person once and he said this and I am thinking we are not on the same page but I wanted a guys opinion. | |
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| What does it doesn't have to be complicated mean ?
Posted: 2/16/2009 1:05:35 PM | Boulderdash.
First of all, it means as much about you as it does about him ... that is to say, it's a simple phrase and your reaction is to go public with worry.
That said, it could mean a lot of things. From his end (if you asked Freud) it would mean there are complicated things he just doesn't want to talk about right now. Those complications could be past guilty items he feels are emotionally relevant but may not be at all. He just feels they are.
He used the word complicated so, Freud would say, he's got complicated things on his mind. But, there are complicated things that we might call "baggage" that everyone has that aren't a big deal. Maybe he hasn't fully healed from them ... and maybe he never will. Maybe they'll never be worth discussing; they're just private issues of his own.
It maybe that he wants a change of pace ... from a highly charged, high in drama relationship to one in which he no longer wants to do that.
Your reaction is telling, too. A man who says there's something, but let's not discuss it seems to have raised your concerns, as it would with many folks. But, there are plenty of people who would say, yeah, heck, let's just have fun ... good game plan. So, it isn't necessarily good/bad/or whatever. There are ba-zillions of women who say "no drama, please ..." which says a lot about their past and their need for a mellower approach.
So, anyway, that's a few ways to look at it. Good luck. | |
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| What does it doesn't have to be complicated mean ?
Posted: 2/16/2009 1:17:55 PM | I don't want it to be complicated either.
To me (though not a guy) it means-- stop with the drama. Don't nag me. Don't question everything I say. Don't make an issue if I don't call you back immediately. Don't hassle me if I'm visiting my mother for 2 nights. Don't kvetch about your weekend plans or get pissy if I'm stuck in traffic. Don't twist my words, look for trouble, question my feelings, demand more and more of my time, let your insecurities cause anxiety. Don't start with the jealousy thing if I'm talking to a colleague. Don't demand I drop my friends or hobbies because you don't like them.
It (life) doesn't have to be complicated. And I sure don't want a relationship to be complicated either. | |
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| What does it doesn't have to be complicated mean ?
Posted: 2/16/2009 1:25:31 PM |
I am wondering what it means when someone says that what they want doesn't have to be complicated?
To me as a woman it means they just are looking for a little desert once in a while do you guys agree?
In effect, I think some men prefer to keep things simple as opposed to going on a date knowing the woman has just read "He's not that into you" and pasted the information on her blackberry to reference everytime he speaks.
In other words... don't bring that kind of stuff into a relationship - it's a deal breaker. | |
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| What does it doesn't have to be complicated mean ?
Posted: 2/16/2009 1:36:30 PM | | I don't have time or the inclanation to create drama with this person. It was one date but when I asked what it meant I got an answer that had nothing to do with the question. So because of that I drew some conclusions and didn't want to misjudge someone . On the other hand I have no intention of having a fwb relationship it is not who am or what I want. | |
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| What does it doesn't have to be complicated mean ?
Posted: 2/16/2009 2:14:19 PM | I don't want it to be complicated either.
To me (though not a guy) it means-- stop with the drama. Don't nag me. Don't question everything I say. Don't make an issue if I don't call you back immediately. Don't hassle me if I'm visiting my mother for 2 nights. Don't kvetch about your weekend plans or get pissy if I'm stuck in traffic. Don't twist my words, look for trouble, question my feelings, demand more and more of my time, let your insecurities cause anxiety. Don't start with the jealousy thing if I'm talking to a colleague. Don't demand I drop my friends or hobbies because you don't like them.
It (life) doesn't have to be complicated. And I sure don't want a relationship to be complicated either.
EXACTLY! Well said, Landra. That's what it means when I say it, and sadly I have had to say it a few times. NO DRAMA! Keep your emotions in check...
OT, from what you're saying OP you're probably right tho. Dude wants the payoff without any strings attached. | |
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