| Lesbian?
Posted: 2/17/2009 9:15:35 PM | Alright, I know this girl that claims that she is a lesbian. From the 1st day I meet her I told my friend that I think she just says that to keep from every Tom,****and Harry from flirting with her. Well me, her and my friend all went to where I work (I work in retail) for them to meet some of my friends. She sees a few girls and even points them out too me. For the most part I agreed.
Well just after that me and the girl exchange numbers. For the most part we text because we usually are both working and can text but not be on the phone while at work. Well weeks go by and we text from time to time and even had lunch together. After while we agreed had a great time. I wasn't stressed becuase I thought she was gay so just like a freind rather than nervous on a date. So after just last week I meet up with her and a friend again. She was telling the friend "I'm so fed up with women, everyone I get is crazy, I want a MAN." As she says man she looks right at my eyes.
Ok I'm not stupid, I'm 99 % sure she is interested in me. What is my problem is that in a way I'm the rebound and also the 1st guy she's dated in a while. Also there is a question in age she is quite a bit younger than me. More than my "limit" even though I believe that there are exceptions it still makes me wonder. I mean my parents want me to be happy, my mom is 16 years older than my stepdad and they've been together close to 20 years so its not something that is recent so the whole thing of people saying its "different" when both people are older. She was 38 he was 22 when they met. So she would know. So I got advice from her and she said just be careful its a different world than it was 20 years ago. But what do you guys think? Should I go for it? Thanks for all the advice. | |
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| Lesbian?
Posted: 2/17/2009 9:25:02 PM | Guess it depends how much younger is "quite a bit younger." Is she 18?
Sometimes women who are lesbians try out a guy just to see if they like it. If your friend is young and "mostly gay," be aware that this might be the case here. | |
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| Lesbian?
Posted: 2/17/2009 9:35:19 PM | | She was never a lesbian. Maybe bi. I dunno, to me it sounds like it's one big mind f00k. Ah hell, go for it(as long as she's legal)! | |
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| Lesbian?
Posted: 2/17/2009 9:45:21 PM | I might be a closet lesbian.
I like doing all the stuff lesbians like to do .......
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OP - I would be less concerned about the age difference (that is if she is legal) than the lesbian or bi part.
While some guys get a boot out of “it” ....... I would not want anything to do with it.
Do you really want to be the “test” - the test to “try a guy for awhile”? | |
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| Lesbian?
Posted: 2/17/2009 9:47:46 PM | I don't think you run any greater risk here of being rejected. She will discover whether she is really a lesbian and things will either work out or they won't. As far as the rebound, being disenchanted with men or women is normal but it doesn't necessarily mean that the woman is still mired in a past relationship.
If you are the first guy she has dated in a while that doesn't make you a rebound if she hasn't really been in a relationship for a while. What do you really have to lose here?
No one has a guarantee going in. | |
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| Lesbian?
Posted: 2/17/2009 9:52:33 PM | | My biggest concern wouldn't be whether or not she's a lesbian, I'd be more concerned that she's so obviously confused. Would you want to be involved with a straight confused woman? | |
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| Lesbian?
Posted: 2/17/2009 9:53:31 PM | Ron9 ~ That's my main concern I don't want to be the "test guy."
Thanks for everyone that replied, I'm looking for something that I've not thought of because quite frankly I'm flattered by being the interest of a younger woman. So with that in mind I'm not thinking as clearly as I normally would.
Thanks again its almost 1am on the east coast so I'm hitting the sack. | |
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| Lesbian?
Posted: 2/17/2009 10:00:52 PM | | Hmmm. Methinks the young woman in question is not the only one in a skirt, seeing how the OP just skirted the issues in his own thread. | |
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| Lesbian?
Posted: 2/17/2009 10:08:50 PM | And I thought People fighting cancer had it rough , santa lucia, and you want advice??
ok...1) dont they have sex education classes down there? when you attend one you may learn the difference between a lesbian and bi sexual.
2) this is a perfect scrip for Dr.Phil or Jerry, call the producers they are standing by | |
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| Lesbian?
Posted: 2/17/2009 10:53:56 PM | | How old is she? I think her age would make a huge difference, because if she's young enough to be confused, you should leave her the hell alone. If she's really just tired of women and wants to screw you then go for it, but yeah, she's either bi or just pulling your chain. | |
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| Lesbian?
Posted: 2/17/2009 11:04:56 PM | You're both good at texting, why not just have text sex?
Sequoyah | |
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| Lesbian?
Posted: 2/17/2009 11:14:59 PM | Iceman-hate to say it but I think they have been taking the education out of sex ed.
OP depending on how young she is she could still be learning/experimenting/discovering all of her sexual preferences. It's not like you wake up one day w/ a check list for life on sex. "Oh this morning I realized I only want (fill in the blank) sex"
As for being the "test" guy- do you mean you're afraid you might turn her off men completely? Is that it? That if she isn't 100% sure she's gay you will turn her that way? Not bashing-just asking. | |
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| Lesbian?
Posted: 2/17/2009 11:17:26 PM | | Go mom! LOL. Enjoy the ride it will probably be short lived but passionate. However, it sounds to me because you mentioned your mom that you are hoping for something more, but this girl is bi sexual and sounds a bit confused. I would hold back on putting a lot of you emotionals into her until she can show you that she is willing to whole heartedly commit to you. | |
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| Lesbian?
Posted: 2/17/2009 11:46:30 PM | If she's bisexual or lesbian, you can watch them go at it. After all, isn't that a man's fantasy? His high hopes of being able to join in at some point? Just make sure she's over 18 and legal.
I don't know what your parents' age has to do with your particular situation. Older men and younger women has been normal in society forever. But if you are wanting a 16 year difference, then that's dangerous for you since you are 32 and that would make the lesbian 16 and illegal. You aren't your parents so you have to think a hair differently in order to stay out of prison. | |
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| Lesbian?
Posted: 2/18/2009 2:29:57 AM | Interesting comment by last poster.... older men an younger women has been normal in society forever... her opinion... shame the same outlook of normality could not be bestowed on younger man, older woman in her case.
I think that confused or not, it will only end up with one person getting hurt in the end. Ask yourself if the outcome is going to justify the means | |
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| Lesbian?
Posted: 2/18/2009 2:42:49 AM | OP, this flat out does not have the makings of a long term relationship.
That seems to be what you want.
This won't be it. | |
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| Lesbian?
Posted: 2/18/2009 6:15:56 AM | I think it is obvious that this girl is significantly younger than you as you seem to feel the need to justify it with the analogy of your parents age difference. You say that this girl has decided that she is going to change her sexual preference based on the fact that her love life isnt what she wants. Well, that certainly shows her maturity level and how she approaches life. So lets say you and her hook up, because lets face it, you arent looking for long term with the girl, she decides you are "crazy", does she start to swing for the other team again? What happens when she gets any other conflict or difficult times in her life? Does she behave in the same way then? Does this sound like someone who is going to bring happiness into your life?
So I say go for it! But dont come back here in a few months when you have spent all your money, thought you were in love and start a thread about how immature and crazy this girl is and how she "took" you for everything you have. Because I wiould be willing to bet money that will be the outcome. And frankly I think you do too, but you are allowing your little head sway your better judgement... | |
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| Lesbian?
Posted: 2/18/2009 6:34:38 AM | | Give her time and space to grow up and figure out what she wants. | |
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| Lesbian?
Posted: 5/12/2009 8:23:08 PM | | I was involved with a younger woman( for 18 months) up until christmas, she was also very Bi sexual, this however does not mean that she was not monogamous, the difficulty is that once it is over you will be left never knowing......but how is that different from any relationship until you reconcile and understand. I also know a few older women that have younger male friends.....it could be the best thing in your life, it was for me for a while, but if you have kids it can be hard on them. | |
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| Lesbian?
Posted: 5/12/2009 9:04:50 PM | | As long she doesn't get in bed with the strap-on... I see no problem. | |
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| Lesbian?
Posted: 10/24/2009 5:46:13 AM | Im not gay but there was a ime when I did come across a situation when I was yonger but Im still not sure so I ask for your advice.
When I was younger I witnessd a lesbian situation but the question is WAS IT. ?
When me and my mother were at my mother freinds house for the night around mid night I herd mom's friend telling mom how great mom looked and how
outstanding she was and was aways tapping mom on her shoulders.
Was this a lesbian situation | |
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| Lesbian?
Posted: 10/24/2009 6:23:43 AM | It's kind of early in the morning for this thread...No aconrod, women touching each other is not necessarily "Lesbian". Touching is what women do. We are touchers. Lesbian in a sexual choice, plain and simple. You can't "accidentally" become Lesbian (as far as I know).
Have you told us the whole story, re: your mother? | |
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| Lesbian?
Posted: 10/24/2009 6:37:00 AM | I think there are Straight people, and Gay people. All those other in between's are just
bored : Just my opinion . God gave us a body, and brains. the brain tells you whether you are turned on by the same , or the opposite sex. Too bad, that some people were indeed born in the wrong bodies. But those so called bi's out there are just out trying to have a good tme ? As long as it's between two consenting adults, no problem.
But to me , someone saying they're bi, Is a joke. And not a funny one.  | |
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| Lesbian?
Posted: 10/24/2009 10:36:39 AM | | The sexual orientation part is interesting but what seems problematic is her exasperation at getting along with women. If she is interested in you, fine, but she's just frustrated with her girlfriends, and that makes you some man she can be with to figure herself out. I would not be expecting anything personal or meaningful with her, except as you can have moment to moment as her latest partner in self discovery. | |
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| Lesbian?
Posted: 10/24/2009 11:45:29 AM |
She was telling the friend "I'm so fed up with women, everyone I get is crazy, I want a MAN."
I would steer clear of anyone who so easily changes their sexual orientation. This woman has NO concept of who she is or what a loving, healthy relationship entails. Is this person truly your ideal? She is immature, confused and issue laden. How old is she, because she seems about 16, maturity-wise? | |
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