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Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Guy  > how do you tell when a good friend has more than feelings of friendsh      Home login  
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 gannauol1
Joined: 2/19/2009
Msg: 1
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how do you tell when a good friend has more than feelings of friendship for you?Page 1 of 1    
guys I woould like to know how you tell if your best guy friend is starting to have feelings for you? is there certian signs or signals? and if I am feeling it for him should I let him know ? I don't wanna lose his friendship.
 3980trip
Joined: 9/15/2008
Msg: 2
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how do you tell when a good friend has more than feelings of friendship for you?
Posted: 2/27/2009 10:01:56 AM
You just need to ask them. don't assume any thing when you are looking for love.
 pbear511
Joined: 11/22/2007
Msg: 3
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how do you tell when a good friend has more than feelings of friendship for you?
Posted: 2/27/2009 10:01:59 AM
if you're interested, maybe drop a little hint..something along the lines of you'd like to go to a nice restaurant instead of just out to coffee..or look into his eyes for an extra second when you hug..some guys are clueless and won't get it and you'll have to get the sledgehammer out but try this approach first

good luck
 gannauol1
Joined: 2/19/2009
Msg: 4
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how do you tell when a good friend has more than feelings of friendship for you?
Posted: 2/27/2009 10:07:33 AM
Thats the thing he calls me everyday, we go to dinner movies, out for drinks, we spend alot of time together with all his friends as well, am I just one of the guys? we have never been intimate and I have slept at his house often and he gets upset if I go out with another guy or friend instead of him
 safgjkadflgj
Joined: 8/17/2007
Msg: 5
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how do you tell when a good friend has more than feelings of friendship for you?
Posted: 2/27/2009 10:09:56 AM
sounds like a relationship
 trixsterjl
Joined: 7/11/2007
Msg: 6
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how do you tell when a good friend has more than feelings of friendship for you?
Posted: 2/27/2009 10:11:33 AM
You ask him. How can you tell? When he asks you out it's a good sign.

I hear over and over "I don't want to ruin the friendship". That's crap IMO the best relationships i've seen started as friendships.

joe
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 7
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how do you tell when a good friend has more than feelings of friendship for you?
Posted: 2/27/2009 10:19:56 AM
The signs will be there for you to feel and see, and somehow I think you already do.

When friends start to change to romance, the space between you lessens, the physical contact seems to happen more often with that space being lessened, and the mental banter will move from the general to the specific, and within those specifics romance and sex will be brought up.

You will notice the "dance" of flirting and desire, instead of the normal "walk" of friends connecting. The banter will change from talking about others, to talking much more about each other, and the line will be cast with hopes that you will nibble, and then
bite.......

If you do not want it, then you have to tell them that in such a way that there is no doubt that they understand, but also save face and keep your friendship alive and well.

If you are good friends now, there should not be a problem with communications and understanding where each of you stand.

Just my opinion.......
 serenityCW
Joined: 1/21/2006
Msg: 8
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how do you tell when a good friend has more than feelings of friendship for you?
Posted: 2/27/2009 10:29:18 AM
in light of the time spent together and the proximity, i would ask him. i'd also be prepared for it to be a yes or a no. i've had it work in both directions for me. but, i never spent that much time with only a best friend, nor did either get upset if one were dating someone else. for me, there is a reasonable space and time between me and a male buddy.
 HB_Beach_Bum
Joined: 7/30/2007
Msg: 9
how do you tell when a good friend has more than feelings of friendship for you?
Posted: 2/27/2009 10:59:38 AM
Ask him if he wants to stay in, get comfy and watch a movie with you, watch his body language when you guys are hanging out.
 Ron-burgendy
Joined: 12/22/2007
Msg: 10
how do you tell when a good friend has more than feelings of friendship for you?
Posted: 2/27/2009 11:17:15 AM
It's a dirty subject, play the wait game imo.

When he's ready, he'll do something significant.

But to be sure just look for the usual signs:

-compliments your appearance (and I dont mean like "ohhh girlll that shirt is so fab-U-LOUS" type of compliment)
-If he asks you an excessive amount of questions
-is watching you when you're not looking at him (that one's tricky :p)
-looks for ways to be in physical contact with you

But even still, wait for him to make a move that is clear of his intentions.
 jakeya99
Joined: 5/9/2008
Msg: 11
how do you tell when a good friend has more than feelings of friendship for you?
Posted: 2/27/2009 11:31:47 AM
I swear to you I never understood "developing feelings". Either you feel it when you meet or not. It may be that a dude feels like he's attracted and likes you but friendship is the only option at the time (other person is married, dating or not dating at the moment) but that doesn't mean that feeling just poof.... come out of left field.

I've never had a girl friend that I developed feelings for... ever. She's my friend because I'm not attracted to her or she's taken. Once she's not taken, then I act on my feelings I already had.

Guys do not develop feelings for a girl. It's in them or not.
 the.best.guy.ever
Joined: 11/11/2008
Msg: 12
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how do you tell when a good friend has more than feelings of friendship for you?
Posted: 2/27/2009 12:03:56 PM

Guys do not develop feelings for a girl. It's in them or not.


Wrong. I've had situations where I liked someone more and more as I got to spend time together.
 SingleGuy4912
Joined: 7/25/2006
Msg: 13
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how do you tell when a good friend has more than feelings of friendship for you?
Posted: 2/27/2009 12:11:57 PM
he gets upset if I go out with another guy or friend instead of him

Isn't that a sign?

Has he ever tried to set you up with other guys? Or discussed the idea? If he gets upset when you do even though it's his idea, then, yep, he's got feelings for you.

Does he get touchy-feely with you? If not, you get touchy-feely with him and see how he reacts.

Does he ever talk about or look at other women in a romantic way?

Does he do things for you that he wouldn't do for anyone else?

Does he remember things about you that other people would not?

When you're talking to him, does he look deeply into your eyes?

When you're out with groups of friends, do you catch him looking at you a lot?
 Heptone
Joined: 6/28/2007
Msg: 14
how do you tell when a good friend has more than feelings of friendship for you?
Posted: 2/27/2009 2:24:50 PM
Op,

So, here's my take on the "how to." And some commentary, 'natch.

The commentary is, I wouldn't take his going out with others as a sign of what he feels for you. You kind of know that already. Sounds like me might come running to your door to tell you how some date went and why not? You're his pal, are you not?

Anyway, how to approach without burning your bridge is to carefully separate the friendship from the possibility of a romance.

For example: Invite him on a special outing ... a walk ... a special dinner or something. Do something that is not directly associated with your friendship, something out of the ordinary, and ask him then or make a pass at him or whatever you have in mind.

You burn bridges when the romantic stuff bleeds into the friendship stuff, so the idea is to separate the two. If the evening goes poorly, you say, ok, I did this on purpose so we can keep this evening separate from our normal stuff and now, since it bombed, we can s go back to life as we knew it. Then give him a hug, kick him out the door and life goes on. If it goes well, then you can start mixing up the friendship/romance stuff. But, try to keep it separate until you know what direction you two might choose.
 gannauol1
Joined: 2/19/2009
Msg: 15
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how do you tell when a good friend has more than feelings of friendship for you?
Posted: 2/27/2009 2:41:13 PM
we do stay in n watch movies sometimes n he puts his head on my shoulder, when we talk and sometimes when we don't say anything he looks deep into my eyes and wont look away. he gives me long hugs hello and goodbye and gives me random kisses on the lips. we have known eachother about three yearsand one or the other of us has always had someone else but we maintaine dour closeness , but it has shifted at somepoint and like the other poster said i dont wanna lose the friendship or push him before he is ready. but he has also started making sexual jokes or inuendos that he never did before. so then do i try to put some distance between us for a short time and figure out my feelings and let him figure out his? should i wait for him to make the move ..he is kinda shy..or should i just come out with it and hope for the best.
 HappyFriday66
Joined: 2/5/2009
Msg: 16
how do you tell when a good friend has more than feelings of friendship for you?
Posted: 2/27/2009 4:11:05 PM
Quite a few guys develop feelings for someone after getting to know them better. Most of these types of guys view a girls personality as way more important that her looks, or what the "attraction" between you would be. I know, I'm one of them. Attraction is just two people who agree that the other person is physically attractive. Chemistry is envisioning a relationship, and day to day life. You can't determine this until you know each other for a while.
 curlygrl
Joined: 11/8/2006
Msg: 17
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how do you tell when a good friend has more than feelings of friendship for you?
Posted: 2/27/2009 4:23:51 PM
For the love of GOD MAN!!! He LIKES you.

Either that or you are just his fag hag- I dont know it sounds
more to me that he likes you-alot.

Ummmm.... Talk to HIM!!! Ask Him................ signs are all there
and you are missing them big time.

Okay wait..... Vince has something to say, well it is "ask a guy".

Hey, I normally stay out of Curly's business when she is posting, but I had to throw my $.02 in.

He hugs you. He puts his head on your shoulders. He gets mad when you go out with others. Hello??? Either you really can't see that he likes you, or you are using this thread as a way to find justification for what you do. If you blow it, you say "Well! I should not have followed their advice. If you lose your friendship... same answer.

All I'll say is this... as a guy.

Foreplay's over, hon... time to f*#k. Make your move.

^^^^thats a poker saying.
 BullMan54
Joined: 2/21/2009
Msg: 18
how do you tell when a good friend has more than feelings of friendship for you?
Posted: 2/27/2009 9:37:04 PM
Another wimpy symp who won't be man. It is clear that he wants you by his jealousy and actions.

Are you sure that you want a man that doesn't have the kahonies to tell you what he wants.

You don't have to worry about losing his friendship. He doesn't want to be a friend, he wants more.

Men: Do not pretend to be a friend when you want to be more. Look at all the time and energy you waste because you can't cowboy up and ask the important questions or move on.
 MrPlatonic
Joined: 8/25/2008
Msg: 19
how do you tell when a good friend has more than feelings of friendship for you?
Posted: 2/27/2009 9:54:41 PM
I have had several 'best friends' of the opposite sex. Who was I kidding? Nobody! In every case, there was chemistry and the potential for a serious relationship. Flirt more, or accept a future of buddies who only hug.
 taelus9781
Joined: 1/30/2009
Msg: 20
how do you tell when a good friend has more than feelings of friendship for you?
Posted: 2/28/2009 3:45:59 AM
I'm going to find that icon of the little guy beating his head against the wall somewhere.

I realize it's sometimes difficult to see things from the inside, being so close to it and all. But seriously, this one shouldn't be that difficult to see. He's jealous, he cuddles, he kisses you, he's making innuendos. Wait until the next time he cracks one of those and say something like, "Well, what are you waiting on? The rest of my night is free?" and watch the reaction. Make sure your night is free cause, chances are, you just made plans.
how do you tell when a good friend has more than feelings of friendship for you?
Posted: 2/28/2009 7:07:57 AM
you just ask them. and be prepared for whatever answer you get back.
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