| After the second date would you start to work on a women house.
Posted: 2/27/2009 7:09:31 PM | | I've tried this with women after the first or second date. My date needed help around the house and we got together and work on the house painting , fixing and getting the house to be live in. I've found out this is a great way to learn about my date and do something together to get things done. As we fix up the house. I got to know more about her in a relaxing manner that it better then a regular date. I feel this is good because it real can tell me about my date in a normal fashion. I feel better when I'm doing something constructive ( no pun intended) . It get me to know my date in a very different way. As things come to the finish line I'm had the best time of my life without the pressure of dating. Has anyone tried this before.? | |
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| After the second date would you start to work on a women house.
Posted: 2/27/2009 7:26:01 PM | And you're here on a dating site because? You've finished fixing up the woman's house? Seriously..I understand what you're trying to say, but I don't feel anyone should ever invest too much of themselves until they've been able to get to know whom they're investing in....
EDIT: LOL Reverb... sheesh I thought I was being mean! | |
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| After the second date would you start to work on a women house.
Posted: 2/27/2009 7:34:15 PM | | My date and I got together and built a new porch for Dad. Next week I'm going to have her put a new roof on the house. I wonder if she knows how to tar a driveway? This getting to know someone is working out real well. I might start a 2nd construction company with the money I'm saving on labor. | |
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| After the second date would you start to work on a women house.
Posted: 2/27/2009 7:44:52 PM | besides getting filthy and such how else did ya get payed Im sure u didnt do if for free " if ya did well cotractors will hunt ur ass down " be for real hell fire aint no one that stupid as to do her or his fixer uppers good god charlie brown]
wildman dear lord help us all this guy is gonna make us have to work on ppls houses for a date | |
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| After the second date would you start to work on a women house.
Posted: 2/27/2009 7:49:14 PM | In all seriousness, OP, I think this is a really bad idea. Funny you bring it up just now, as I just posted in another thread about a guy here who tried to get me to let him help with some things at my house without ever even having met him before.
Even if it was a sincere offer from someone I'd dated a few times, though, there is no way I'd go for this. For one thing, I just don't use people that way; if I'm going to date someone, it's because I'm interested in getting to know him, not because I want free handyman services.
But aside from that, my home is my biggest investment, and I'm not going to have anyone working in it who I don't already know is well-qualified, insured, and doesn't have any motives other than doing an honest job for honest pay. JMO. | |
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| After the second date would you start to work on a women house.
Posted: 2/27/2009 7:49:43 PM | For those women who are cinical about me I'm real and no money is needed to get the work done. Due to my christian upbringing I've learn to help women while I date them. I know there are some women that think this is a joke but mark my words I do this to any women in my area. If you don't believe contact me to see if a job get done with no pay.  | |
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| After the second date would you start to work on a women house.
Posted: 2/27/2009 7:59:53 PM | Great! Can you come over I have a kitchen that needs to be redone and I've been thinking about having the floors tiled along with new double pane windows of course new construction. I'll have the pizza and beer waiting. If I'm not here the keys under the mat. Thanks alot your a great guy! That's why I'm crazy4mars.
ppppssssssstttt........this is a very generous gesture...one that I'm sure some women would take advantage of...I would not do this. I'm self employed and I feel that anyone providing a service should be paid. I know your a big guy but, for your own safety and liability reasons I feel this is not a good idea. | |
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| After the second date would you start to work on a women house.
Posted: 2/27/2009 8:06:42 PM | | Life is a gamble no doubt about it. I totally understand you about being taken advantage of. But would put my foot down if hanky panky was involve. I do it for Jesus Christ too. I know women don't like men who believe in Jesus Christ . Their lost my freedom. | |
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| After the second date would you start to work on a women house.
Posted: 2/27/2009 8:32:53 PM | Sodturner, I'm not sure why you would say "I know women don't like men who believe in Jesus Christ." this is not a true statement. Are there not any women in your church? I'm not here to talk about religion. My concern for you was not the hanky panky but to say that their are some unscrupulous people.
I had a friend who was being helpful to a woman whom he knew. She later called the police on him and accused him of raping her and damaging her property. Which was not true. This was a very ugly situation. It was heartless and cruel on her part. I'm just saying. Be careful. | |
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| After the second date would you start to work on a women house.
Posted: 2/27/2009 8:42:16 PM | | Thank you crazy4mars. I understand what you are saying. I try not to do anything that would be put out of contents with a lady. I agree there are women that would do that in this area. There are creepy ladies too! I appreciate your advice and will take heed in it. I heard of creepy ladies in the chicago area doing that. I think when any women does that it is harder for men like me to trusted and well as other men too. I think it Satin that doing that to the battle of the sexes. God Bless and hope you find a great man in your life too. Thank you for replying to my forum. | |
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| After the second date would you start to work on a women house.
Posted: 2/27/2009 11:33:06 PM | Well it depends I guess... As long as the job isn't too big you can kind of turn it into a date...
But at the same time for all you know she could be using you as free labor to improve her house so she can turn around and sell it or something...
I'm all for helping people out, but there are lines that you don't cross when you're only on your first date or 2...
Everyone has their own niches I guess... | |
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| After the second date would you start to work on a women house.
Posted: 2/27/2009 11:39:00 PM | Not intentionally, I was running late for a date & my car wouldnt start. So I called to inform the guy(who was already at the restaurant) that I wouldnt be coming. He asked why & offered to come and help. I refused at first, but he insisted. So fixing my car turned out to be our first date. Focusing on the car and not on whether what i was wearing made me look IckY, took alot of pressure off.
Bottom line: Guy's aren't spinless wimps. They wouldn't offer to help, unless they actually wanted to help. So dont feel bad about accepting it. | |
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| After the second date would you start to work on a women house.
Posted: 2/28/2009 12:23:33 AM |
Life is a gamble no doubt about it. I totally understand you about being taken advantage of. But would put my foot down if hanky panky was involve. I do it for Jesus Christ too. I know women don't like men who believe in Jesus Christ . Their lost my freedom.
Sorry dude, I ain't buyin' it. If you were simply doing it because you are a Christian then you would be doing it for ANYONE that needed it, not just potential love interests. It's not very Christian like to do it for the prospect of getting some tail! There is no need to go through the whole game of trying to justify what you do. If that is the card that you play and it works for you then, cool. Chefs will cook for dates, guys with planes and boats and great cars will use those. Do what you do.
Bottom line: Guy's aren't spinless wimps. They wouldn't offer to help, unless they actually wanted to help. So dont feel bad about accepting it.
This is the attitude that you need to watch out for. Miss, some guys are 'spineless wimps'. Some offer help not because they want to help, but feel obligated, pressured or feel that is a path to gaining the interest of the woman. It is up to you to ask your self what is the motivation of the person asking to assist you and is the offered assistance simply more than what is appropriate. | |
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| After the second date would you start to work on a women house.
Posted: 2/28/2009 1:03:30 AM | I happen to believe that not all women dislike a christian man....
I know women don't like men who believe in Jesus Christ .
I think alot of women on this site think that it is an extremely selfless act for you to work diligently on a woman's home without expecting anything in return.
The people making jokes don't mean to be cruel. They are honestly looking out for your best interests, and yes, to make you aware that your volunteer work can back fire on you....be careful, thats all.
And good luck.  | |
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| After the second date would you start to work on a women house.
Posted: 2/28/2009 6:15:00 AM | Who doesn't love a friend that is willing to help with unpleasant household chores? But I think there is also something very intimate about someone offering to help you in that way. It feels as if the man wants to 'take care of you or fix your worries'. That usually happens far a long in a relationship not on a 2nd date. At the 2nd date most men have not been to my home and I certainly would not be wasting good flirting time talking about roof repairs.
I have a dozen things around my house that I have no idea how to fix or even have the time or tools to do it properly. If a man I was dating wanted to start fixing them, I would assume he was looking to move in together and build a 'home' together. Otherwise he wouldn't care if my hinges needed oiling.
If he/I were not ready for that step I would feel uncomfortable with the whole thing. If you're just dating then go out on dates. You have spent 53 years alone, I wounder if you have been giving mixed signals to women who think the same way I do. I volunteer as well through church or womens groups but the people I help are strangers who really need it. | |
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| After the second date would you start to work on a women house.
Posted: 2/28/2009 6:52:17 AM | | Jeffry Dahmer was a Christian too. And we all know what went down there. No thanks, if I need my roof fixed I will not have a "date" be the reason it gets fixed. Talk about nut cases. No pay? Something will be owed later. Fava Beans, anyone???? It rubs the lotion on its' skin.......until it gets the hose again. | |
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| After the second date would you start to work on a women house.
Posted: 2/28/2009 7:18:26 AM | I've tried doing DIY with a date, though not as early on as you do. It can be fun and it is a good way of learning about the other. In my experience it will either challenge or elevate the relationship. My Ex and I couldn't even attempt any DIY without it ending with one of us wanting to strangle the other. Whereas my current boyfriend and I work together like clockwork. It can be a good test of how your communication styles mesh.
I would just be careful the lady is comfortable with getting that kind of help. If it's too soon it can feel like an imposition, or giving too much too soon, like expensive gifts. Also, as mentioned by previous posters, the risk you take with doing that kind of work before you really get to know someone is that it leaves you open to being used as free labor. | |
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| After the second date would you start to work on a women house.
Posted: 2/28/2009 8:06:48 AM | I've found that there are many women who do not know how to react to a sincere, generous man. I think that with many women, an offer to work on her house too early on, might make her run, or more confused about who she really is, because she's not used to accepting that there are generous men out there.
Many women are used to getting what they expect...and that means a lying, cheating selfish man.
Yes, there are some good women out there, who know what they want, and who they are.
I like to give and be with a woman who's also a giver. I save my handyman skills, and other ways of showing a woman what she's capable of experiencing , when we get to know each other better. And my experience is that women seem to appreciate it more. | |
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| After the second date would you start to work on a women house.
Posted: 2/28/2009 8:20:14 AM | OP, while I think this is SUPER DUPER nice of you and it is a really good way to get to know one another. I would be curious to know whose idea it was.
For me, I enjoy doing things around the house, cause ya know I am SO DARN handy (in my mind at least) I am not sure I would have someone help me on the first or second date, I would never want the "USED" card laid on me. Just sayin. | |
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| After the second date would you start to work on a women house.
Posted: 2/28/2009 10:48:10 AM | OP, you sound like a sweet man with a heart of gold.
But, i would worry that you are being taken advantage of.
BTW, whats your number? I need some work done.
To me that wouldnt even be a date.
An ideal date for me would be to get AWAY from the daily grind, i can work on my house any old day, a date would be my special night out to enjoy being OUT, not working on the house!!!
I would save that stuff for when we are married and sharing a home together. Not a date. | |
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| After the second date would you start to work on a women house.
Posted: 2/28/2009 11:22:22 AM |
For those women who are cinical about me I'm real and no money is needed to get the work done. Due to my christian upbringing I've learn to help women while I date them. I know there are some women that think this is a joke but mark my words I do this to any women in my area. If you don't believe contact me to see if a job get done with no pay
OP - For what it's worth, I was not making fun of you, nor was I assuming you have ulterior motives - I see in your profile that you like to volunteer in general, and I think that's nice. You seem sincere. The man I was referring to in my post was another story - he was using an offer to help me around my house to try to get me to let him come over without ever having met me, and he tried to make me feel guilty for turning him down.
I think in an established relationship, partners helping each other is fine; for instance, if I cook a lot of meals for myself and someone I've been dating exclusively and he offers to help me paint my living room. That's the kind of balance of give and take and sharing one expects to see between partners.
Accepting that kind of help from someone on a first or second date is more than I would personally feel comfortable with. It makes you vulnerable to many women who would, unfortunately, be all too happy to take advantage, and it does create the potential for liability issues for both you and the other person.
Since you like to volunteer and do home improvement, I wonder if you've considered or tried Habitat for Humanity. I used to be a volunteer with my local chapter, and many women do volunteer with them, so it's possible you could meet someone there while fulfilling your need to be helpful. That way, too, you could still benefit from getting to know someone in the process of working on a project together, but instead of having that pressure from liability or whether anyone is owed anything, you'd be working toward the common goal of helping someone else. Just a thought.
Best of luck with your search. | |
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