Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Sexually attracted to somebody you don't like?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Dazzling Girl
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 1
view profile
History
Sexually attracted to somebody you don't like?Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
Maybe this is a normal occurence, but it's a first for me in my 38 years....but I'm finding myself strongly attracted (sexually) to a man I don't care for, which surprises me. Anybody else ever have that happen to them? Just curious.
 whytwater
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 2
Sexually attracted to somebody you don't like?
Posted: 3/1/2009 5:09:43 PM
I've had sex with a woman I didn't like, but I didn't realize that til later, much later.
Nope, can't say that sort of attraction has ever visited me, OP, and don't think it will, cuz I can't seem to separate the form from the contents anymore.
I have been sexually attracted to women I've never met, but it kinda sounds like this guy is your neighbor or a co-worker.
 ~rain~
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 3
view profile
History
Sexually attracted to somebody you don't like?
Posted: 3/1/2009 5:28:00 PM
yes! This has happened to me!!

He was younger, an actor, very easy on the eyes! but everytime he talked all I heard coming from his mouth was noise that sounded like "charlie brown's teacher" mwah ma ma mwah,,It was frustrating!! He had an ego and it always seemed to be all about him. I finally had to tell him that I didnt think it would be a good idea for us to be friends anymore..(shrugs)

I am the type of person who needs to be stimulated mentally before physically! Which kind of sucks because we are such visual creatures. I tend to "window shop" all the time I see lots that I would love to "try on" but as soon as I get to know the person better I say to myself..what the hell are you thinking and then I usually bolt!
This is why I like it in here, I can get lost in words and ideas. Create my fantasies about how men really should be. *sighs* then we meet... and it all falls apart!

I think I should just stick to romance novels
 Dazzling Girl
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 4
view profile
History
Sexually attracted to somebody you don't like?
Posted: 3/1/2009 5:37:44 PM
Whytwater--he's a friend of several friends, so I know him and see him around, but he and I aren't particularly close.
 whytwater
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 5
Sexually attracted to somebody you don't like?
Posted: 3/1/2009 6:17:06 PM

he's a friend of several friends, so I know him and see him around, but he and I aren't particularly close.


Hmmm, so this Lancelot is gonna be titillating you indefinitely, and, just guessing, but I suspect this feeling didn't just hit you yesterday. Is he attracted to you? You could, as Guinevere did, "try him on" (yeah, I'm fond of Rain, and I'm just taking a break here from writing my first novel, about love and lust and other gooey stuff); that might work as a cure (not trying to offend with this radical suggestion, just being a typical guy and offering up possible half-baked solutions). Might not even be necessary to take it to the mat; you might just build up enough revulsion on the way to cure your urge. Seems like these forum pages overflow with pan-flashing failures. Of course, that could backfire, especially if he's a fixture in your social/friends circle.
Other than that, grin and bear it? I've been reading these forum pages fairly regularly for the last six months, and haven't come across this particular issue from the distaff side. Seems like (again, no offense), a more common situation for a guy. And most of them would probably choose Door #1 (above).
For what it's worth, OP, I'm encouraged (from a distance) that a woman is not only sufficiently aroused to be in this conundrum, but confident enough to lay it out on the table. Both are laudable, imo. Just wish I could offer better magic.
Oh! Have you tried shouting "Serenity NOW!!" ? Lol.
 nexthyme
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 6
view profile
History
Sexually attracted to somebody you don't like?
Posted: 3/1/2009 6:30:59 PM
Yes, after I first got divorced... I didn't have sex filled marriage like I envisioned, and was starved to death, plus 36, which is around the time that some women go hormonally nuts...

I didn't want an actual relationship, because I had kids to raise, and injuries to heal... So I developed a FB (call it what it was) because the sex was good, yet he as a person totally sucked... I wouldn't have been friends with him or even want to know him beyond what we had...

He was cool with that, because he was getting some, and didn't have to wine and dine me...

When I was done, I was done, it bummed him out a lot, because sadly he wasn't ready for a good thing to end... I on the other hand was ready for some sort of relationship that meant more than just a tumble in the hay.

I could feel bad about that, but sexuality for women is evolving, and sometimes we only want the sausage and not the whole hog... Just like men want some milk without buying the cow.

You will get tired of it after a while, but for now if he is clean and you use protection, what the heck,...
 Izarith
Joined: 4/14/2008
Msg: 7
view profile
History
Sexually attracted to somebody you don't like?
Posted: 3/1/2009 6:46:50 PM

Maybe this is a normal occurence, but it's a first for me in my 38 years....but I'm finding myself strongly attracted (sexually) to a man I don't care for, which surprises me. Anybody else ever have that happen to them? Just curious.


Hello Dazzling,

You have to understand that their is a big difference between what your mind wants and what your body wants. They are all one in the same but our mind creates a reality very different from the one we truly experience. I guess you could say your body is picking up his sent and finding his body highly acceptable for procreation but your mind is saying..."Really?!?!.....No!!.....Reallly?!?!".

Just Double-Damn foock him and give your body what it wants.

TA!! Izzy.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 8
view profile
History
Sexually attracted to somebody you don't like?
Posted: 3/1/2009 6:51:09 PM
~OP~ It's a Seinfeld and a Sex and the City episode. George had "angry/hate sex" with his object lacking affection and Charolette married Harry ~ so I suppose just about anything is possible. If you find you feel this way for long, maybe you are really feeling something exactly opposite of what you are thinking??? I don't know ~ I have to actually like someone long before I get to the sexual attraction stuff. JMO
 theadventurestartsnow
Joined: 1/17/2005
Msg: 9
Sexually attracted to somebody you don't like?
Posted: 3/1/2009 7:28:54 PM
This happened to me at least 3 times. I really despised this girl and I felt the feeling was mutual but the second we were alone the last thing we did was talk.

Its pretty common.
 Valentinne
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 10
view profile
History
Sexually attracted to somebody you don't like?
Posted: 3/1/2009 8:35:33 PM
Yes. It's super hot to actually despise someone and want to rip their clothes off too. I never did it though. I really did hate him, lol!
 HarDayKnight
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 11
Sexually attracted to somebody you don't like?
Posted: 3/1/2009 8:48:07 PM
Once (when I was in my early twenties), I met a girl that I didn't like at all on a personal level, but something about her made me crazy to get her into the sack. That's the only time it's ever happened that way. I'm more likely to like someone on a personal level, and have no physical attraction to them at all... Now THAT is frustrating. Especially if they want more.
 Riverkilt
Joined: 11/16/2008
Msg: 12
view profile
History
Sexually attracted to somebody you don't like?
Posted: 3/1/2009 9:03:14 PM
Sort of - Kind of

Have been attracted to women who didn't like me and I didn't much like them...think its an ego thing though...if I could just show them how good I am in bed then they'd change their mind about me...but what's the point? I don't like them...just my ego wanting to change their minds....

Testosterone poisoning
 brendantime
Joined: 10/31/2008
Msg: 13
Sexually attracted to somebody you don't like?
Posted: 3/2/2009 12:52:07 AM
It happens all the time. You meet a girl who looks fine, but is actually a stuck up, good for nothing c*nt. You still want to defile her and throw her away like a piece of garbage after, but you'd never keep her as your girlfriend or anything.
 lacos
Joined: 1/30/2009
Msg: 14
view profile
History
Sexually attracted to somebody you don't like?
Posted: 3/2/2009 4:06:36 AM
i would have to have feelings for them before i sleep with them.dont know why i am like that but just the way i am need to feel something not just sex.
 .Marc
Joined: 2/11/2007
Msg: 15
view profile
History
Sexually attracted to somebody you don't like?
Posted: 3/2/2009 4:12:25 AM
It happens very occasionally. Usually the attraction comes before you realize that the other person is a horrendous jerk.
 TooShadows
Joined: 9/26/2008
Msg: 16
view profile
History
Sexually attracted to somebody you don't like?
Posted: 3/2/2009 6:34:23 AM
Sure,I've been in this situation. but since I'm not desperate for sex I'm not going to sleep with anyone I don't like.
 Dazzling Girl
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 17
view profile
History
Sexually attracted to somebody you don't like?
Posted: 3/2/2009 6:37:06 AM
Well, I've read everybody's answers, and I have to say I'm glad this isn't so unusual--I had initially been thinking, "This sounds like a bad romance novel."

WW--since you asked, it actually did hit me suddenly. I'd seen him around a couple of times, made polite small talk with him, and moved on. I didn't feel a sexual attraction to him until the last party when I left and hugged a bunch of people goodbye, and since he was standing there too, I just went ahead and gave him a quick hug as well--and that's when it hit. As for whether he's attracted to me or not, I really couldn't say. ::shrug::
 Pontoon guy
Joined: 2/16/2009
Msg: 18
view profile
History
Sexually attracted to somebody you don't like?
Posted: 3/18/2009 10:02:21 PM
It has happened...you find someone very attrative only to talk to them and discover that you don't like them,,,now they are still hot! but is it worth selling out just to have sex?
 Redwolf George
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 19
Sexually attracted to somebody you don't like?
Posted: 3/18/2009 10:20:28 PM
It's more physical than actually mental. Even though you might not enjoy this persons company, if the feromones are very similar to your brain receptor tuning (and vice versa) then it will be a nice jump in the hay, when this is not happening, you wont touch these people with a 10 ft. pole.
 UrsulaMajor
Joined: 6/21/2008
Msg: 20
Sexually attracted to somebody you don't like?
Posted: 3/18/2009 10:24:40 PM
Hmm, someone I don't like, or don't respect?

Both would be difficult, but someone I didn't respect at least in some way would be just about impossible.

Nope, can't wrap my mind around it.

Let us know if you end up liking him more after awhile in his presence.

You meet a girl who looks fine, but is actually a stuck up, good for nothing c*nt. You still want to defile her and throw her away like a piece of garbage after, but you'd never keep her as your girlfriend or anything.

Umm...there went my fledgling urge to meet men out the window. Eek.
 ohio07
Joined: 12/27/2008
Msg: 21
Sexually attracted to somebody you don't like?
Posted: 3/19/2009 9:45:43 PM
There was a girl I worked with who was an absolute ideal ten for me physically, but she was the worst person I have ever known. Very selfish, cliquish, and self absorbed. Suck up to the boss, ratted on any and everyone for perks. Despicable. And I wasn't the only person who felt like this.

Trying to get along with her in a work setting was almost impossible. She never resisted to dig a lttle every time I had to speak to her.

Some people will never respect you no matter how hard you try, to even get it to neutral.

That experience taught me that looks aint Sh!t!!! Personality, character (biggie) and liking and being comfortable with yourself and others are what are really attractive, to me at least.

Some women I've dated weren't anywhere close to ten, but I wouldn't have traded one second with them, for a minute with that one person.

I'm glad I know better now to be more cautious of women I find very attractive, and still keep my eye open for that "diamond in the rough".

The most attractive women by most peoples' standards that I have known, have just been crappy people; who have no problem using you, themselves or others to get whatever it is that they want, at a given time. Exceptions to this rule are quite rare, in my experience. Believe me I'd love to be able to say the opposite, but I just can't.
 cubic_zirconia
Joined: 8/10/2008
Msg: 22
Sexually attracted to somebody you don't like?
Posted: 3/19/2009 11:22:28 PM
One of my best friends...so yes I like him but not like that until recently.
 namrael
Joined: 8/10/2008
Msg: 23
Sexually attracted to somebody you don't like?
Posted: 3/20/2009 12:20:12 AM
Yes. Very good-looking boy, several of my friends and I thought so. . . and then he kept talking. I think he thought one of my friends was joking when she said, "Stop talking, you're ruining it!", but the rest of us knew she wasn't. His personality killed the attraction pretty quickly for me.
 Blondecharmthe3rd
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 24
Sexually attracted to somebody you don't like?
Posted: 3/20/2009 2:18:29 AM
Yes, slept with a guy who really should have worn a ball gag. He was pretty, the sex was hot, and then that was the end. No long story, just figured I enjoyed what was the best part of him (his body) and ignored the rest for a period of time. I would NEVER sleep with him again, even tho the sex was hot. Too high maintenance and not worth the effort.
 spicynicegirl
Joined: 8/10/2008
Msg: 25
Sexually attracted to somebody you don't like?
Posted: 3/20/2009 2:22:47 AM
Yes. One of the dads at my kid's school. I got into an argument with him over wrongful parking but I find him physically attractive.....................LOL
Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Sexually attracted to somebody you don't like?