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Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Girl  > Why do women stop responding to me when I ask them out on dates?      Home login  
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 ThievesInThe Night
Joined: 9/17/2008
Msg: 1
Why do women stop responding to me when I ask them out on dates?Page 1 of 1    
What confuses me is when I meet some women, they seem interested in me (smiling, responding with more than one word/sentence answers, etc.) and I let them know (or it is implied) that I would like to meet up with them in the future. So we exchange telephone numbers or e-mail addresses and communicate. The communication continues until I tell them I would like to meet up...at which point they stop responding to me.

Example 1: About a month ago at a speed dating event, I met a woman. I thought she was attractive, I talked to her a while and she had a personality I liked and I thought that she was attracted to me so we exchanged e-mail addresses; this was Friday night. I e-mailed her on Monday to see how were weekend was. She e-mailed on Tuesday and responded. On Wednesday, I tried to meet up with her on the weekend. She responded the next day saying she already had weekend plans. I e-mailed her again on Monday asking her her weekend was, she responded Wednesday say she had fun but she might have caught a cold. The next day, I wrote back talking responding to the comments she had in her e-mail and saying that we exchange telephone numbers and that we meet up this weekend if she was feeling better. It had been almost two weeks since we had met and I did not want the attraction to die down. She did not respond so I assumed that she was not interested and left her alone.

Example 2: Monday of last week, I see a girl eating her lunch while reading. I approach her, compliment her and we began talking. I thought she was attractive and that we had a good conversation. I ask her if she was single, she said yes, I asked her would she like to go out for coffee, and she says "Sure, why not?", she said she was preparing for mid-terms and she had a friend coming in from out of town but she she should be able to take a break inbetween studying on the weekend to meet so we exchange contact information. I talk to her a little more before I leave. I called her the next day, no response, but I sent her a text message immediately afterwards. She responded to the text message within an hour and seemed interested. I called her the next day (Wednesday), no response, but I send her a text message immedaitely afterwards to see how she was doing. She responded that she wanted to talk but couldn't because she was talking to her friend from out of town. I responded soon after saying that it is fine and that I wanted to know if she could meet up this weekend. No response for the rest of the day or Thursday. I called on Friday she didn't pick up but I left a message on her voice mail saying that I called to say hi. No response. I called yesterday (Monday) for the final time and she did not pick up or respond to the message I sent her so I assume she is not interested.

The vast majority of the women I end meeting and exchange information with I never end up dating because of situations like this. As soon as I ask them out they stop talking to me. Am I doing anything wrong? Is it anything more than them not being interested in me? Am I moving too slow or fast or seem desperate?
 cfb62
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 2
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Why do women stop responding to me when I ask them out on dates?
Posted: 3/3/2009 6:36:06 AM
It happens to all of us.
Who knows why, but don't take it personally.
Good Luck!
 Rushâ„¢
Joined: 2/17/2009
Msg: 3
Why do women stop responding to me when I ask them out on dates?
Posted: 3/3/2009 6:36:41 AM
It could be a number of things, OP. You could have been moving too quickly, or maybe the women you were conversing with are flakes. It happens.
 nexthyme
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 4
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Why do women stop responding to me when I ask them out on dates?
Posted: 3/3/2009 8:09:17 AM
Seems like girl two may have had interest, however you came on a bit to strong. She told you she was doing mid terms, and had company from put of town.

Sometimes women do have a busy life beyond dating, and need a bit of time to get into dating mode. She may have had interest at first, but found you a bit too aggressive and got the "creepies", that happens.

Perhaps a little less energy in trying to connect with the date.

It just depends on where a person is in their life, and these things take time.

One key thing I notice you saying is, "you found that woman attractive", there is nothing wrong with dating attractive women, but perhaps you may just want to go out and find someone that may not be a knock out good company as well... JAT
 celts123
Joined: 5/15/2008
Msg: 5
Why do women stop responding to me when I ask them out on dates?
Posted: 3/3/2009 10:11:20 AM
This has happened to me a few times. There could be many different posssible reasons for it.
 minako79
Joined: 1/15/2009
Msg: 6
Why do women stop responding to me when I ask them out on dates?
Posted: 3/3/2009 10:30:13 AM
Who knows why this women you're meeting are not interested in meeting up with you? I would let go and move on. Best of luck op and good things come to those who wait.
Why do women stop responding to me when I ask them out on dates?
Posted: 3/3/2009 11:04:53 AM
Yeah, it is pretty typical....I have had a few that I got the vibe that they would never meet so just moved on......I have found that a few dont have current pictures posted and looking for somebody to email with them for months...
 bklynrebel
Joined: 11/30/2008
Msg: 8
Why do women stop responding to me when I ask them out on dates?
Posted: 3/3/2009 11:05:06 AM
If I hear that phrase "he/she is just not that into you" one more time, I'm gonna barf. Anyway, just keep moving on, easy does it, don't take it so seriously. If you're more relaxed, you'll have more success.
 jetty65
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 9
Why do women stop responding to me when I ask them out on dates?
Posted: 3/3/2009 11:18:10 AM
You sound desperate and needy,clingy, almost stalker like.This is a major turn off.

Calling someone everyday and if they don't answer, immediately texting or emailing, its too much especially for someone you hardly know. One of the woman you talked about was in the middle of studying. People have other things to do.

Ease off a bit, she was interested and when you kept pushing you turned her off.
 The Siege
Joined: 2/4/2009
Msg: 10
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Why do women stop responding to me when I ask them out on dates?
Posted: 3/3/2009 11:51:47 AM
it happens to everyone thats on here, and the irony is this is ment as a DATING site, lol. i cant see hte harm in meeting someone i have talked to for a while in a safe open populated setting, whats gonna happen? right?

I have met people i was not interested in just as friends on here. but dont let it bother ya, just remember its there loss man. you put your effort in and thats anyone can ask of you, so keep it up youll find some that wanna date, promise.
 ThievesInThe Night
Joined: 9/17/2008
Msg: 11
Why do women stop responding to me when I ask them out on dates?
Posted: 3/3/2009 12:20:53 PM

You sound desperate and needy,clingy, almost stalker like.This is a major turn off.

Calling someone everyday and if they don't answer, immediately texting or emailing, its too much especially for someone you hardly know. One of the woman you talked about was in the middle of studying. People have other things to do.

Ease off a bit, she was interested and when you kept pushing you turned her off.


Thanks. I text after calling because a) in the past, I would continually miss the calls of the girls that were interested in me and they would miss my calls because we were busy hence we could never schedule a chance to meet and the attraction died and b) It is much easier to communicate by text messaging since people are busy but most girls rather you call them, hence call them first, but if they miss your call, send a text message.

I called as much as I did because a) I wanted to meet before the attraction died down and she lost interest (we were total strangers ) b) I wanted to talk to her before we met so she would feel more comfortable about meeting again and c) I was under the impression that if a woman liked you, calling only once a day or two is not calling too much and d) I did not want to waste time on someone who may not be interested or after talking to, I may not be interested in.

After reading your post, I can see how it may come off as desperation.
 Jewlsey*
Joined: 1/24/2009
Msg: 12
Why do women stop responding to me when I ask them out on dates?
Posted: 3/3/2009 2:53:19 PM
^^^^^^yeah, too many calls and texts. That would annoy me to no end....
 Bellydanza
Joined: 11/25/2007
Msg: 13
Why do women stop responding to me when I ask them out on dates?
Posted: 3/3/2009 4:20:57 PM
For future reference. If you CALL once, stop. No text, no follow up calls. You have left the ball in her court. If she doesn't respond, then you have an answer to ''is she interested''...badgering them for an answer doesn't work. If they don't call you back, dont think twice, just move on with life. If they call you later on when less busy, you'll have a nice surprise, and maybe even bigger one for them that you are onto someone new who has time for you. They'll learn not to let a good thing get away by ignoring it.

I have a guy right now calling me everyday. I have told him I am not interested. Stopped taking his calls last friday. Today he text me, and I have to pay for my texts. I refuse to even respond to messages or texts and he still can't get it through his head I'm not interested.

Some men don't give up, and it's beyond desperate and obsessive....scary
 MizAnj
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 14
Why do women stop responding to me when I ask them out on dates?
Posted: 3/3/2009 4:35:11 PM
My humble opinion is that you went overboard. A text after a call ONCE is ok. Otherwise, she will either get back to you after life settles down, or she won't. Pushing the issue is not usually going to garner you the result you are after.
 KISS MY A$$
Joined: 9/6/2008
Msg: 15
Why do women stop responding to me when I ask them out on dates?
Posted: 3/3/2009 4:39:32 PM
""If I hear that phrase "he/she is just not that into you" one more time, I'm gonna barf""
rebel you so totally crack me up...
now get the bag ready!!

Op. I'm sorry I think she was just not that into you.
 sequoyah61
Joined: 12/8/2008
Msg: 16
Why do women stop responding to me when I ask them out on dates?
Posted: 3/3/2009 5:22:41 PM
OP, I agree with previous posters who felt you were being a bit too aggressive with Girl #2.

Don't be discouraged.

The one you're looking for just may be behind Door #3.

Good luck to you!






Sequoyah
 OSGF
Joined: 12/14/2008
Msg: 17
Why do women stop responding to me when I ask them out on dates?
Posted: 3/3/2009 5:38:35 PM
I don't agree with most of the posts. I think in scenario #1, you waited too long to follow through, so she probably assumed you weren't that interested OR she met someone else.

Scenario #2: Well, I'm guessing she wasn't that interested in you to begin with. She's probably very preoccupied. Don't take it personal. You may have called a few too many times, but it shows initiative. Which, unfortunately, is what most men lack these days.

Either way, better luck next time!
 bsg789
Joined: 12/4/2007
Msg: 18
Why do women stop responding to me when I ask them out on dates?
Posted: 3/4/2009 7:51:16 AM
Woman # 1 - I don't think the OP did anything wrong.
Woman # 2 - Perhaps he did contact her too many times.

But I think in both cases, these women simply were never that interested in him.
 Herding Cats
Joined: 8/15/2008
Msg: 19
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Why do women stop responding to me when I ask them out on dates?
Posted: 3/4/2009 8:06:53 AM
Calling someone everyday and if they don't answer, immediately texting or emailing, its too much especially for someone you hardly know.


I really do agree with this. No matter how hot I thought someone was when I met them in person, if they text me right after I have not answered my phone (they can always leave a message) it irritates me. I can only imagine what they would be like as a boyfriend, constantly texting me to know where I am, what I'm doing, why didn't I pick up when they just phoned a few minutes ago, who was I talking to...

Yeah... Not attractive.

I loathe texting.

Loathe, loathe, LOATHE it.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 20
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Why do women stop responding to me when I ask them out on dates?
Posted: 3/4/2009 8:59:05 AM
^^^^Add me to the "I know you tried to call me, once is enough" list. In this day and age there are too many ways to find out someone called you once, no one has to call or text twice. I get back when I get back. If you don't like the frequency - calling and texting does not make me respond any faster...in fact, it may slow me down.

BTW - GREAT pics Herding! Holy crap! If I weren't a woman I'd be hitting on you! Maybe you can take some pics of me so they'll come out better? Sheesh!
 luvbud1
Joined: 11/2/2008
Msg: 21
Why do women stop responding to me when I ask them out on dates?
Posted: 3/4/2009 9:55:49 AM
I hear you! This happens over and over! I've even had girls initiate a meeting, and then when pressed for a place and time, they're no longer interested! I sometimes feel like it's a game just to see if they can "score" the date when in reality, they had NO intentions anyway!
As far as those who say you're moving too quickly...isn't this a "dating site", or am I missing something?? Good luck with sifting through the whack jobs.
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