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 AUTHOR
 HavinFunRU
Joined: 6/22/2005
Msg: 1
Fun One LinersPage 1 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
I'd like to hear your fun one liners...here's mine:

I have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do you want fries with that?

Ham and eggs. A day's work for a chicken, a lieftime commitment for a pig.

The trouble with life is there's no background music.

You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.

Earth is the insane asylum for the universe

AND my favorite.......

My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He though he was God and I didn't.

Lets keep it clean too.

Thanks
 bitemywhat
Joined: 4/16/2005
Msg: 2
Fun One Liners
Posted: 6/27/2005 12:28:58 PM
Its not premartial sex if you have no intention of getting married-Author Unknown
 pauluk306
Joined: 4/6/2005
Msg: 3
Fun One Liners
Posted: 6/27/2005 2:23:26 PM
here a few
no one listening to you till you make a mistake!!!!!!!!!!!!!

if we aren`t so supposed to eat animals,Why are they made with meat?????

he who laughs last thinks slowest!!!!!!!!!!!

laugh alone and the world thinks your an idiot......tongue:

WORK...... is for people who dont no how to fish.....
 snorkeler
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 4
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History
Fun One Liners
Posted: 6/27/2005 6:36:33 PM
I am in shape........round is a shape
 Asterich
Joined: 4/26/2005
Msg: 5
Fun One Liners
Posted: 6/27/2005 6:43:54 PM
A skeleton walks into a bar and says, "I'll have a beer and a mop!"
 HavinFunRU
Joined: 6/22/2005
Msg: 6
Fun One Liners
Posted: 6/27/2005 8:26:37 PM
^^^^^^^^ you guys are good.

Here's a few more

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.


Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.

He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead!

I smile because I don't know what the heck is going on.

Stupidity is not a handicap. Please park somewhere else.

I shouldn't tell you this one cuz I'm female...but I still think its funny.

They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken....lol

Keep em coming.......
 snorkeler
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 7
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History
Fun One Liners
Posted: 6/28/2005 9:01:00 AM
"what do you do for a living?"---"as little as possible"
 electriclettuce77
Joined: 1/26/2005
Msg: 8
Fun One Liners
Posted: 6/28/2005 1:22:40 PM
What do u call an empty jar of CHEEZ WHIZ__________CHEEZ WUZZ
 Dr. Me
Joined: 4/6/2005
Msg: 9
Fun One Liners
Posted: 6/28/2005 8:21:12 PM
A horse walks into a bar , the bartender ask "why the long face"
 evanism
Joined: 6/25/2005
Msg: 10
Fun One Liners
Posted: 6/28/2005 8:25:22 PM
A sandwich walks into a bar, the bartender says we don't serve food here.
 bambi75
Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 11
Fun One Liners
Posted: 6/28/2005 9:52:11 PM
I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar
 Asterich
Joined: 4/26/2005
Msg: 12
Fun One Liners
Posted: 6/28/2005 10:10:17 PM
Hehehe, I gotta remember that one.
 HavinFunRU
Joined: 6/22/2005
Msg: 13
Fun One Liners
Posted: 6/28/2005 10:20:56 PM
I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
 bambi75
Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 14
Fun One Liners
Posted: 6/28/2005 10:27:14 PM
Is reading in the bathroom considered Multi-Tasking?
 hellbilly
Joined: 6/28/2005
Msg: 15
Fun One Liners
Posted: 6/29/2005 12:57:07 AM
I was watching Leave It to Beaver the other day, I love that show, and Eddie was teaching Beaver how to insult people. The Beav practiced on Wally with this one,"Hey Wally is that your face or are you just breaking it in for a monkey?" I thought I was going to die laughing.
 barbie98765
Joined: 6/29/2005
Msg: 16
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History
Fun One Liners
Posted: 6/29/2005 12:44:26 PM
"They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken....lol"

You know why men don't get Mad Cow disease?

Because they're all pigs.
 tampablu
Joined: 4/22/2005
Msg: 17
Fun One Liners
Posted: 6/29/2005 12:50:37 PM
You must have mirrors in your pants, cause I can see myself between your legs...
 jersychik1984
Joined: 1/25/2005
Msg: 18
Fun One Liners
Posted: 6/29/2005 2:35:26 PM
don't like my driving stay off the sidewalk.

is that a keg in your pants? cause i'd sure like to tap that ass!!
 HavinFunRU
Joined: 6/22/2005
Msg: 19
Fun One Liners
Posted: 6/30/2005 8:20:37 AM
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
 HavinFunRU
Joined: 6/22/2005
Msg: 20
Fun One Liners
Posted: 6/30/2005 8:43:01 AM
You have to do this one with Jeff Foxworthy in mind...kinda use that "red neck" talk...

If you wake up in a corn field.........You just might have a drinking problem....

lol
 korky
Joined: 12/4/2004
Msg: 21
Fun One Liners
Posted: 6/30/2005 4:48:47 PM
You have as much chance of winning as a one legged man in an Ass kicking contest
 HavinFunRU
Joined: 6/22/2005
Msg: 22
Fun One Liners
Posted: 7/1/2005 7:36:13 AM
Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive!
 crashgirl38
Joined: 5/14/2005
Msg: 23
Fun One Liners
Posted: 7/1/2005 11:02:22 PM
1.Never give up hope on your dreams...it gives you something to do while rolling joints.
2.I'm only a social drinker but I smoke crack like a motherf.u.c.k.e.r.
3.show me someone who has a loathing for the general public and I'll show you someone who works retail.
4. I may be fat,but you're ugly and I can always lose weight.
5.What Would Tony Soprano do?
6.If you love someone,set them free,if they come back they're yours,if they don't call them at 3am when your drunk.
7.Don't annoy the crazy person.
8.I am looking for a little piece and quiet,just give me a piece and then I'll be quiet!
9.Gas,grass,or ass..nobody rides for free!
10. Is that your face or did your neck throw up?
11.Please standby...the next intelligent word out of my mouth may be coming out shortly.
12. Due to high overhead costs,the light at the end of the tunnel has been permanently turned off.
 mickiesthe1
Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 24
Fun One Liners
Posted: 7/2/2005 6:06:15 AM
my favs include.........im not a completye idiot, im missing a few parts........brb im thinking,lol
 pdxdriver96
Joined: 6/2/2004
Msg: 25
Fun One Liners
Posted: 7/2/2005 6:33:42 PM
Other people are ‘types’. One always thinks of oneself as an individual.

The trouble with political jokes is they usually get elected.

If something doesn't feel right, you're not feeling the right thing.

A person who smiles in the face of adversity... probably has a scapegoat.

Women are like phones - -they love to be held and talked to, but if you push the wrong button - - -you're CUT OFF !
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