| Careers that Drain Your Energy
Posted: 3/6/2009 12:49:09 PM | | It's great to have jobs in this unstable economy. But, if jobs are stressful and time-consuming (60 hours a week or more), how do you guys find the energy to love each other? Seems to me it's either a choice of downsize our dreams (live in a small apartment instead of a massive house, one economy car instead of two luxury cars, etc.) or downsize our emotions and become robotic worker drones. | |
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| Careers that Drain Your Energy
Posted: 3/6/2009 12:58:28 PM | Being a realtor in this economy... I'd be ecstatically emotional to be working 60 hour weeks again 
.. even Kraft dinner is romantic if ya light a candle and share with the right company ..
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| Careers that Drain Your Energy
Posted: 3/6/2009 1:03:43 PM | | I've downsized my dreams. Life is too short and you can't take it with you. Besides, accumulation of stuff requires maintanence, takes up space, makes it difficult to be mobile. I like a small place, easy to keep up, easy to afford, and spend extra money on things that are consumed, then gone.... like dinners out, theatre, and trips. That's the lifestyle for me. I so much happier since I realized what was really important to me. | |
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| Careers that Drain Your Energy
Posted: 3/6/2009 1:09:47 PM | | I usually average around 50 to 60 hours per week. Being with somebody now isn't as time consuming as going to constant meets with new people. Plus, I'm finding that I'm not spending nearly as much money either. So far so good. | |
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| Careers that Drain Your Energy
Posted: 11/2/2009 8:17:33 PM | energy, patience...you name it. I sometimes wonder if someone in a profession i.e. police, military, ems/fire etc would be better for me? just because we understand the emotional /physicals rigors of the job.
i know my ex was in the bar business..he dealt with one ***hole while i dealt with a different kind...extreme opposites and didnt work out...if he only saw what I saw ...
but anyhow..i guess a draining career nowdays is better than the unemployment line | |
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| Careers that Drain Your Energy
Posted: 11/2/2009 8:21:50 PM | | yeah, a job can be draining, but it's gotta be done. no real answer. you just get used to it. | |
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| Careers that Drain Your Energy
Posted: 11/2/2009 8:31:38 PM | I am a Custodian. 40 hours at a high school. 20 hours part time cleaning offices.
Yes, sleeping is becoming a fave past time. I guess I am a robot drone, especially when co-workers at the school frequently call in. I have my work and the other guys. Talk about drain when I am doubling up and the other guy sits home gets paid for it. | |
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| Careers that Drain Your Energy
Posted: 11/2/2009 9:12:45 PM | I think that pretty much any career, even a mere job, can drain your energy if that's the type of person you are. Work definitely steals energy and time, and if your work is a vocation, as it is likely to be if you are unable to squash yourself into a robotic drone mindset, it doesn't matter how little money they pay you. Another aspect of this is that creative energy, fulfilled, can be energising: those able to be passionate with their work are, to my mind, more likely to be able to be passionate about life in general and in relationships. It can create a virtuous spiral instead of a destructive one.
It comes back partly to the difficult question of balance but also to compatibility and understanding. My partner and I both get very absorbed in and passionate about our work (though neither of us earns much at all) and both of us understand that type of 'being focused' and don't feel upset by it -- though we do wish there were more hours in the day... | |
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| Careers that Drain Your Energy
Posted: 11/2/2009 9:13:00 PM | I honestly have more energy when I'm working 60 hours a week then when I am only working regular hours. Put that together with looking forward to seeing that special someone when I get home. I'll find the time and the energy no problem.
Put all of that together with a weeks worth of commuting 15 hrs a week, and you have the makings of a good life if your willing to live it! | |
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| Careers that Drain Your Energy
Posted: 11/2/2009 10:26:25 PM | | I usually work 50 hours per week. I have had to work up to 80 at times (2 jobs to pay the bills) but gave up a job I loved to go back to one that pays the bills with a 50 hr average. When I work early, I can be off by 4 and usually go for a walk by the river to "destress" before I go home to the kids. When I get home, they help me clean for 30 minutes - after that we call it good enough. Usually the homework is done by then as well so it does still allow time for dinner and a movie or whatever. For the last year it hasn't been so hard to balance family and a career, but it did mean giving up the career I wanted. The current job is not so bad though and it's worth it to have more time with my kids. I am grateful to have it. As for the housework, I pay somebody for a couple hours on payday and spend one of my days off catching up - it will never be perfect. | |
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| Careers that Drain Your Energy
Posted: 11/2/2009 10:41:34 PM | None of my dreams have to do with money, except for the one with the monkey, because he smokes expensive cigars. The rest I can do flat broke. The economic concept I like best of all is: enough. How much is enough? That's all you need to make before balancing extra against free time.
Food, shelter, clothing, motorcycle, cell phone, computer, toothpaste. Work 1 or 2 days a week. Travel around, stop to stare back at cows on a country road. Meet interesting people and talk to them anyway. Plenty of time to waste posting online in forums.
The 60 hour a week thing is good for stacking up a pile of cash, to take time off work for a while. As a routine it would cramp my style. I would only need two cars if I planned to crash them into each other. I worked 60-80 hrs a week for 3 months then took most of the rest of that year off. It was good making the money but the days sure went by fast, not enough daydreaming, and no naps. It all depends on what you like to do with your time. If I didn't have things I liked to do other than work, I would work more hours. | |
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| Careers that Drain Your Energy
Posted: 11/2/2009 10:50:07 PM | People should learn "Objectivism" as a philosophy.
Is it stressful to be hungry to the point of starving to death?
Is it stressful to be homeless with no roof over your head, exposed to the elements?
Is it stressful to NOT be able to feed your kids, and thinking tomorrow you are homeless too?
Having a job.. ANY job.. RELIEVES stress.. ESPECIALLY in this economy.
SUPPOSEDLY.. "Love conquers ALL" Now ALL means everything.. and everything includes Stress.. Stress from ANY source.
So.. Stress has NO effect on LOVE. In fact.. whenever stressed.. just go LOVE someone/something.. and that love will overcome the stress.. problem solved!
I sense a troll here seeking to create a long long thread. | |
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| Careers that Drain Your Energy
Posted: 11/3/2009 5:19:03 AM | there's a lot that could be said about this but i'll keep it brief.
reacting to the "massive house" and "two luxury cars" reference, gosh there have been so many mcmansions and beemers bought on easy credit... there's an almost epidemic lack of savings in ths country, and meanwhile so many have been carrying ridiculous amounts of credit card debt and only making the minimum payments. it's about damn time people in this country started living more within their means. well it's just too bad so many have had to learn that lesson the hard way, boo hoo! ok just a little rant...
second comment is, you should be damn happy to have a job -- and act that way -- so that you don't end up on the short list for the next round of "rightsizing". some jobs are naturally stressful and time-consuming, even when the economy isn't down. generally speaking, these kinds of jobs (law and consulting immediately come to mind) are filled with people who believe the stress is a fair trade for whatever payoff they're getting, and nobody held a gun to their head and told them they had to take the job in the first place. if that's not the case for you, then go back to square #1 where i mentioned being grateful that you even have a job.
i guess i just can't help looking at this scenario a whole lot more in the context of "opportunities" and a whole lot less based on what i think has been taken away from me. if you have your health, a job and a roof over your head, you have a whole lot more than a lot of other people do. would you like to trade places with any of them?
as a single person sans BF/SO, i don't have any problems about whether or how to love anyone because i'm working too many hours. but if i did, i'm sure we'd figure something out. god if that's the biggest problem anybody has to worry about, I'LL trade places with YOU.
 NO WHINING
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| Careers that Drain Your Energy
Posted: 11/3/2009 5:54:35 AM | My dad talked to me about how his father, my grandfather, owned a hotel. He was never home, he tried to "do it himself" with hardly any help because he just didn't want to pay someone to help him. He wanted all the money and glory. He was a workaholic. My dad saw that and lived with that but yet he did it himself. He was always working. My mom is close to 60 and still works 12 hour shifts. My step-dad owns his own business and yes there are days he works 7-5 but for the most part its more like 7-7 or later.
I personally work 40 hours at a retail job. I want a 2nd job because I want to save some money but then again if I do that I am also following my own families path of being workaholics. When I was 21 I went to college and held down 2 jobs and kept a B average. My situation has always been either work a lot and have plenty 0f money and no time or work a little and have time but no money. I'd rather have the plenty of money. I'm not greedy like my grandfather but I still want to do the things I love to do.
It is a very hard thing to balance. Who hurts the most with this isn't the person working all the time but there family and friends. I don't know how many times my family has called to tell me about the next reunion or get together and I cannot because of my job. Grant it my family is very spontaneous so if they planned ahead of time and gave me notice I probably could get with them because I could request those days off.
But at the same time if I had a Mon-Fri 9-5 job like the general population has I could do these things because the majority of them happen on the weekends.
I would love to have the time and energy to do everything I want to do. But I must reserve that for the things I NEED to do.
Best of luck to everyone  | |
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| Careers that Drain Your Energy
Posted: 11/3/2009 6:11:27 AM | | My boyfriend's job takes him away for weeks, sometimes months at a time and when he is away he is literally working 24/7. When he comes home he is completely drained. The last time he came in he wasn't himself; he was so worn out and stressed. It was terrible. I think there are some careers people get into that don't leave any room for a girlfriend or family. I think my boyfriend's is one of them... | |
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| Careers that Drain Your Energy
Posted: 11/3/2009 6:33:58 AM | I used to have a nice big house on a lake. Now I have a small house. Sometimes I have to work on weekends and nights. Some other times I don't. I am thankful that I have work in this economy. Am I worried? Of course I am. After hearing what happened to Cit yesterday, I wonder what the repercussions are going to be for small business. If there is another credit crunch, many of the small and medium size companies that depended on consumer credit to be flexible then will go out of business. So I worry. I worry because my gf has cancer and during the Chemo is practically out, which makes it difficult to have a job. I also feel that the depression or as some are calling this "the grant recession" is about over. But I also believe that these holidays are going to be the toughest and most testing for us all.
Now is any of this a drain of energy? I don't have time for that. You are drained if you allow it to drain you. But if instead you are constantly doing something, adapting, growing, changing, then there's no drain. | |
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| Careers that Drain Your Energy
Posted: 11/3/2009 6:36:01 AM | Hence my early retirement (47), I have lived enough for three lifetimes, so it's now time for family and friends. I have worked on two careers at the same time, yes two and refused to slow down, including all my adventures that have taken me around the world, it's nice to get paid for a career that does not feel like work. Then my health became an issue and I was told to slow down, I was actually forced to retire. I was dedicated to one career in particular (a high level readiness unit) which required great sacrifices and I was never home (an empty house is not what I considered home), heck my home was a hotel and a suitcase most of my life, but I loved what I did and would do it all again. My son now wishes to follow in my footsteps, I just hope he realises when it's time to step out of those footsteps, turn around and come home.  | |
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| Careers that Drain Your Energy
Posted: 11/3/2009 6:49:30 AM | The woman I started seeing recently is a law student and in the office where she works part time as a legal assistant, some lawyer's clock 70~75 hours. She sees them loving the money they make and the perks it brings but she also wonders if it is worth her losing her prime to work for potential financial security down the line.
HEck, she's still young, so she has a chance to change directions if she wishes.
I on the other hand have been a disciple of Dave Ramsay forever, so I have no debts nor do I live extravagantly and my job is stable working for a company that is growing, so I haven't felt the impact of the recession. | |
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| Careers that Drain Your Energy
Posted: 11/3/2009 7:08:35 AM |
It's great to have jobs in this unstable economy. But, if jobs are stressful and time-consuming (60 hours a week or more), how do you guys find the energy to love each other? Seems to me it's either a choice of downsize our dreams (live in a small apartment instead of a massive house, one economy car instead of two luxury cars, etc.) or downsize our emotions and become robotic worker drones.
OP -- I don't think that I'll ever get to the robotic worker drone stage. Not if I can help it. In all my life, I think the most I've worked is 45 hours in a week steady. There was a time (temporary) shortly after my split with my ex fiance where I voluntarily worked 55 hours a week (all we were allowed to work (no shift longer than 12 consecutive total hours)), but that was just a 2 month gig to take advantage of the overtime being offered so I could catch up with some bills. I was working from home, so this was just a double bonus.
Now even being an entrepreneur, I still will never work more than 45 hours a week.
Yea I got bills to pay, and yea there's things I'd like to have or places I'd like to go...but my health and sanity are far more important than trivialities.
I just think about all the people I knew or know that routinely work 80 hour weeks for "all that frickin overtime man!!" and what kind of life they really have...and it's no contest in my eyes. I have it 100x better. Sure they have "things", but what else do they have? Nothing. Trying to live on 4 hours of sleep daily just so they can get "stuff" and feel important and robust. One failed relationship after another because they have but maybe an hour daily to devote to sustaining it. Living outta fast food joints. Good for them. I can't help but shake my head and laugh at them all.
All this for what...stuff. Sad.
So looking ahead, what impact does this have on me personally? Well, when I meet someone, one of the things I'll go over is their job. Not so much what they do or how much they make...but how much TIME they spend there. If a prospect tells me they're pluggin' away 60+ hours a week on a regular basis for "all that frickin overtime man!!" my alarm bells go off in unison, and it's over for me. I will never again in my life involve myself with someone who's a workoholic. I work to live, not live to work...and that's a trait I look for in a mate. If she's "one of them", then I'm just wasting my time.
Sure I could be working up to 80 hours a week and making a sick killing doing so...but for what reason? So I can have a lot of money, but no TIME to enjoy it? And at the expense of my personal life? Not a chance. It's a no brainer for me. I like having a social life AND time to enjoy it more than I'll ever like having gobs of money that I can't properly enjoy surrounded by a bunch of "stuff" that doesn't get enjoyed either except to serve as a bragging medium.
Yep. | |
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| Careers that Drain Your Energy
Posted: 11/3/2009 7:20:03 AM | Kindman, stress has a HUGE NEGATIVE effect on love and relationships if it is allowed to. It can destroy relationships and love as well if it is not managed correctly and dealt with postively.
Also, if someone is putting in too many working hours why bother seeking a relationship? My ex worked long hours and traveled too much for business purposes both by choice because he was very materialistic. They were the main factors why I ended the relationship. Who wants to be with someone whose conveniently never around? | |
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| Careers that Drain Your Energy
Posted: 11/3/2009 7:50:17 AM | I am self-employed, after years of being part of a large corporation. Finding freelance is extremely time consuming, for every hour of paid work I do, I've done an average of 7 hours of campaigning for that project. Stressful? You bet!
Why am I seeking out a relationship? Because finding that balance between all work and no personal life (my old job) or unstructured work and a personal life (now) is something I've always wanted. And good relationships don't exist in a vacuum, stress is a part of life in good economic times or bad. | |
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| Careers that Drain Your Energy
Posted: 11/3/2009 7:59:22 AM | Jobs are draining when you are not in control of your life and your time. I love what I do and love spending time with my work. I can still have a relationship because I'm not interested in a relationship where I am tied to the hip of my partner. I'm happy if we can connect at 9pm after a long and productive day, share a glass of wine and chat for abit. There is more time on the weekend. I don't want a relationship where my partner wants me to sit down to dinner at 6pm every day. Too suffocating. And I don't want a partner who has a 9-5 job with an expectation that I should be there to occupy his time.
so it all depends on what you want in a relationship and in a lifestyle. if a man needed me to give up my work, likely he wouldn't be the man for me. So OP, there is a huge middle ground between the two extremes you propose. That simplifies life too much. | |
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| Careers that Drain Your Energy
Posted: 11/3/2009 8:43:49 AM | Work comes first, especially in this economy. Love is for when you're not working, the bills are paid and you've gotten some sleep. If there's no time for love - that's fine too.
It's recreational. | |
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| Careers that Drain Your Energy
Posted: 11/3/2009 1:57:45 PM | Props to you, Barbee! After doing housecleaning for 20 yrs, i gave it up 6 yrs ago. Just got to be too physically demanding.
Now i'm in retail and I'm happy to have a job!
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| Careers that Drain Your Energy
Posted: 11/3/2009 3:41:32 PM | Interesting that this post was dredged up again after 7 months lol. Interesting stories, folks!
My situation has changed considerably since then. Was (and still am) free-lance...but, thanks to this pesky "little" recession, after almost starving to death, I finally landed a part-time steady job (never heard from the FTs I inquired repeatedly about), so now, I'm grateful to be a humble employee to another small business owner who recognizes and is rewarding my talent (I'm in wedding photography/videography, and get higher-paying weekend gigs in addition to the low-paying weekday salary he's paying me to help him build his business, deal with the tedium of administrative paperwork, sending out vendor contracts, maintaining his websites and blogs and calling leads). Not getting rich, but staying afloat, and I'm grateful.
Back in the mid-to-late '90s, I was on salary and put in A LOT of unpaid overtime to the company I was working for, out of the goodness of my own heart and because I was doing my part to build the small company (about 25 employes) into a bigger company, so we could all enjoy bonuses, profit-sharing, etc. It never happened. The company, bleeding by the throat because it was using revolving credit to make payroll and finance elaborate, high-tech video production and post-production equipment, went out of business in 2000 and I've been free-lancing ever since, up to this year, when there was almost no work at all for the better part of 2 months this summer. Even if that company had survived, my 40-something wisdom tells me what my 30-something idealism didn't want to grasp...that upper-management were the only ones profiting off the company...us workers be damned. I've said "bye bye" to corporate America, for as long as possible anyway, but having to constantly market to get work has been stressful too. So I've been on both sides of the spectrum!
I'm in the "middle ground" now, working steadily and AND free-lance, still no more than 40 hours a week, and staying on top of the bills, but being cautious as far as giving too much free time to my new employer. Sometimes ya give an inch...and they take a mile. But, if overtime is paid, great--I'm all for working overtime.
I just wanna do work that I find easy and fun, and have that work flow in in a logical, methodical stream so I can plan my life around it. Work is a necessity, a necessary evil. Love is a luxury, a nicety and the finest thing in life, that is, along with good health, the true priority, especially at my age, 44.
The eco seems to be ironing out, at least temporarily (God willing, there won't be another plunge like there was in 1929 and then deeper in '37). Save our pennies, folks, and don't overextend your wants! | |
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