Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Science/philosophy  > Why do people Kill those they love???      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Byrd
Joined: 7/19/2004
Msg: 1
view profile
History
Why do people Kill those they love???Page 1 of 1    
Comments focusing on Family Mass Murderers..Mother Father, Children..Usually it's the Father killing his family..It's happening alot now because of our plight with the ecomomy...I wonder why Fathers kill the whole family? Why don't they just kill themselves why do they got to take everyone else with them..I'm sure if the others had a choice they would not want to go..Especally the children..Why kill a child who has their whole life ahead of them? Usually Husband/Wife homicides deal with other things but there are homicides that involve couples losing everything..Having No Hope maybe that has alot to do with it..I don't understand why Fathers do that and I'm wondering what others think? I had a rough childhood that almost killed me but my dad never pointed a gun in my face or talked about killing the whole family while he was sober....What in your opinions is going through a persons mind while they are killing their family?
 abby156
Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 2
Why do people Kill those they love???
Posted: 3/10/2009 9:09:03 PM
They usually do end up killing themselves also. Its just insanty.
 jbking2
Joined: 1/22/2009
Msg: 3
Why do people Kill those they love???
Posted: 3/10/2009 9:11:51 PM
My guess, and really this is just speculation since any Father that has done this is likely on the other side and unable to answer, dwells on the premise of the afterlife being better and him wanting everyone to still be together. Could life here be so horrible that he figures he'll take everyone out with him so that they are still together as quickly as possible?

At least that would be my personal take on it, where I have had some dark, disturbing thoughts along those lines. Keep in mind that if he feels sufficiently justified he may believe whatever afterlife judge there is will forgive him and keep the family together.

An alternative theory is something like, "If I can't have you, no one will," where the murder is out of jealousy and then the suicide is just a way to simplify things for those left behind.

At least those are my top few theories at the moment.
 Byrd
Joined: 7/19/2004
Msg: 4
view profile
History
Why do people Kill those they love???
Posted: 3/10/2009 9:51:29 PM
That actually sounds understandable different beliefs, and then there's insanity...I have had dark thoughts most of my life like constantly unable to really partake in love at the time..I have known quite a few killers in my time and most of their reasoning is shot..Many that use a gun hoping to play personal paybacks miss hitting innocent people..Maybe I should understand more than all having taken a life in self defense..For me it was fight or flight, now or never and I was just trying to slow the guy down before he caught up to me..I never mean't to kill him, I just wanted to get away...It was different then saying.."Honey drug the kids were killing them tonight.." Of all the crazy experiences I've had the ultimate horror to me would be my parent killing me..KIDS DON'T WANT TO DIE! They want to live, try, hope..KIDS HAVE HOPE. When I was a kid I got beat everyday..At home, school everyone thought I was retarded so they beat the shit out of me I got beat so much it became part of my life..I knew that someday I'd grow up and there would be a choice for me..I wouldn't get beat no more, I had hope even through all that the glass was half full not half empty..My 2 hundred dollars..
 Merrylass
Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 5
view profile
History
Why do people Kill those they love???
Posted: 3/11/2009 7:37:27 AM
Some of the people who kill their families are so depressed that they feel they have failed their families - they also worry about what will happen to their families without them so they kill them to spare the families further shame. Yes, it's twisted but depression can twist your thoughts into spaghetti. You can see the logic to the thinking but of course it's all because of the murderer's inabilty to recognize his flawed assumptions.
 greg8001
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 6
Why do people Kill those they love???
Posted: 3/11/2009 7:47:56 AM
The factors which influence someone to the point they are willing to commit homicide are complex. In the case of spouses or partners killing other spouses or partners, or their children, this is unfortunately more common than strangers killing strangers. In the case of people who are estranged from their partner, no doubt a key factor in a homicide may well be a loss of self-control due to impulsive rage or anger motivated by hatred, extreme jealousy or a subjective sense of injustice towards an estranged partner, especially if the homicidal partner has had an unfavourable outcome in a dispute involving financial matters, property or custody of children. These emotional factors may be compounded if there has been infidelity in a relationship or if one partner in an estranged relationship has left and formed a new relationship.

Homicides may also occur where there is an ongoing situation of domestic violence in a relationship. The abusive partner may deliberately or inadvertendly kill their victim(s) during acts of abuse or violence, or an abused partner may kill their abuser in self-defence or to prevent further abuse.

Other homicides in family situations arise out of arguments and disputes which escalate out of control. People have also murdered in a calculated way in order to obtain some benefit (such as money from a trust or will, or a life insurance policy). In other cases, homicide can occur through neglect, when one person fails to care for a vulnerable family member in their care and the person dies as a consequence.
 xzanthius
Joined: 9/28/2004
Msg: 7
Why do people Kill those they love???
Posted: 3/11/2009 8:05:33 AM
Hate and love are closely related. The opposite of hate and love is indifference... people dont kill who they are indifferent to.
 EmbraceHug
Joined: 2/18/2009
Msg: 8
Why do people Kill those they love???
Posted: 3/11/2009 9:51:53 AM
I think their minds just snap.
 shmodzilla
Joined: 10/6/2008
Msg: 9
Why do people Kill those they love???
Posted: 3/11/2009 10:00:01 AM
I'll bet the thought of "i don't want anybody else to have them" sets in. Look at couples that split up, get with other people and still complain to each other that the other person should'nt be with somebody.
 Byrd
Joined: 7/19/2004
Msg: 10
view profile
History
Why do people Kill those they love???
Posted: 3/12/2009 10:19:17 AM
That's very common I remember years ago I was in a 12-step program and worked nights so I was there for people in the program that wanted to talk at night,(motel hell night auidtor) this one fella starts showing up at my work telling me about how much he was in love with "Liz" his girlfriend who liked to sleep around especally with other women....They were next door neighbors. She broke up with him, big surprise! He would not let go he didn't have to go far to stalk her, but next thing ya know he drilled holes in the attic and through the walls even through the floor so he could watch her...When he showed up at work with a gun I called the Sheriff..A couple days later they took him down as he approached her with flowers and gun..He wasn't in jail long but long enough for her to get out of town..I was pretty jealous when I was a kid but not that jealous and I grew out of that in my 30's...I have a hard time understanding someone who would kill their own children even though they think it would be better for them if they were dead...
 scorpiomover
Joined: 4/19/2007
Msg: 11
view profile
History
Why do people Kill those they love???
Posted: 3/12/2009 11:31:55 AM
We hurt the ones we love the most. I personally know people who told me they beat me "only because they loved me". It's called "killing with kindness".
 god_of_rock
Joined: 1/17/2009
Msg: 12
Why do people Kill those they love???
Posted: 3/12/2009 11:35:48 AM
^^

or, also a lot of people are full of BS about saying they "love" someone.

the word 'love' is thrown around quite casually

often"I love you" means (more accurately):

"I am obsessed with you"

or: "I want to own/possess you"

or: "I love having sex with you", "I lust for you", etc.
 GGarbo
Joined: 10/8/2007
Msg: 13
Why do people Kill those they love???
Posted: 3/12/2009 1:32:01 PM
My first reaction is they are just nuts but then that doesn't quite explain traditions of killing wives/favorite female slaves and having them buried with you like ancient men did.

Perhaps some men are just more prone to think of wives and children as possessions rather than individuals. It's like if they see another man, then that is an individual but if it's a woman or a child they think that is mine or someone else's. To lose your wife and child is to lose your most prized possession. If you kill yourself, at least this way no one else will possess your possessions....they will remain your possessions forever.

To think that way is not a love people though, it's a love of possessions.


We hurt the ones we love the most. I personally know people who told me they beat me "only because they loved me". It's called "killing with kindness".

I heard that before, it's a crock used by abusers or those willing to be abused.

"I care about you so much and you are the only one I let in so close that you get to see me at my weak moments. If I didn't love you so much, you wouldn't see that side of me."

The issue is, they have a side like that. It is not acceptable for them to be so out of control with their own emotions that they cause harm to you.

 hamango
Joined: 3/8/2009
Msg: 14
Why do people Kill those they love???
Posted: 3/12/2009 2:22:19 PM
I understand wondering why but I agree it is insanity. That's when your mind either thinks it is making sense when it isn't, or when you just have stopped making any kind of sense at all. From that point there is no reason that makes sense except to that one insane person having the thoughts, assuming they are even thinking at all. In some forms of mental illness people experience secondary or even multiple personalities, so maybe that has something to do with it. Maybe their brain creates some kind of illusory ego that dictates commands suitable to act out the troubled emotions they are having. There's no telling what people will go by when their intellect is bumped aside by their reptilian cortex, or whatever it is.

I have never been anywhere near someone who was having a homicidal psychotic episode so I can't guess based on observation. The closest thing that comes to mind from personal experience is the few people I have seen lose it in rage here and there, like road rage or some other trifling offense. I can imagine that if that state of mind lasted a while the person would become extremely violent. The creepy part to me is when someone does it and people say they seemed calm and deliberate beforehand, or afterward if they didn't also commit suicide.

Maybe the brain gets freaked out and desperate and so it needs to find some way to make sense of things, and the only kind of sense that matches how it perceives the world is one that is as violent and terrible as it feels in its altered state. But that would be more how it happens than why it does, I think. I doubt if why applies past the departure from sanity. Now I'm bummed out thinking about it. I will go find a happier thread.
 Byrd
Joined: 7/19/2004
Msg: 15
view profile
History
Why do people Kill those they love???
Posted: 3/12/2009 3:01:17 PM
Any happy homicidal manic's out there?!!!! We have another" Man kills 3 and self in Texas" These things seem to occur in groups..Maybe it's like negative repition convincing themselves their crazy until they finally snap..I have been close to that but my reasoning that "I'm not that kind of person always won out.." another being Not only do I have to touch it I have to get up off my butt and bury it to..People say weird things to me alot having known my family history and the way I look they say things like "Don't kill me.." I usually say "Yea right like I want to ruin my life.." When they say "What life?" I kill.....I guess I'm wondering about this one fella from India now they have their customs but....His wife, two beautiful teenage girls, a son, a beautiful home he's an engineer but he's been laid off.......SO DAMN WHAT? WASN'T HE UNEMPLOYED WHEN HE GOT OUT OF COLLEGE? On top of that he owned his own home..You know what? I'd like to really hurt someone like that...I must add everytime one of these angry jackoffs go off they usually have a nice car that's what I always look for What kind of car do they drive it pisses me off they have a nice car and I cannot afford one...
 shmodzilla
Joined: 10/6/2008
Msg: 16
Why do people Kill those they love???
Posted: 3/12/2009 4:30:36 PM
I have to wonder in some cases if it was not one in the family but the whole family that pushes it. Lets just pretend this guy was the one provider.He works 12 hours a day, gets home ,the house is a mess ,dinner is cold,the wife is passed out. One kid is complaining her new ipod isn't as good as her friends,the other is complaining she can't go to the college she wants because the funds are divided 3 ways and the third got money from mom out of dad's account for 2300 dollars in new rims for his ricer. Bam ,the jobs gone,money is real tight but nobody will lay off about begging dad for money, mom and one girl are screaming at each other then finaly one of them yells "I HATE YOU BOTH" to mom and dad cracking that last blood vessel holding dad together in reality. Just a thought, i bet it happens. Hell i know i wouldn't hurt one i love,the lord knows if i would of it would have happened by now. But if some jerk ruffles his feathers up in my face i can feel the chemical reaction in my body. Everyone has a different level of control. Some are in that perfect recipe for disaster.
 cookie22222
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 17
view profile
History
Why do people Kill those they love???
Posted: 3/13/2009 8:45:03 AM
Hard economic times usually come hand in hand with rises in all sorts of domestic violence numbers...being unable to care for the children, sometimes drives people to resentment and abuse...and sometimes people decide that it would be "best" for them not to go on living, if the parents are dead. It's a very self-centered view isn't it? They become so wrapped up in their troubles and stress of financial woe, that they only see things from their own point of view, and come to believe the children would suffer without them. People are being driven over the edge nowadays, and those that were borderline to being with are often the first to go.

I can't fathom killing your own child. But it happens all the time.
Show ALL Forums  > Science/philosophy  > Why do people Kill those they love???