| Do the forums help with dating and relationships,
Posted: 3/13/2009 12:58:07 PM | Does Posting help?
I’ve been thinking lately (imagine that) that in many respects I’ve benefited from posting.
1) It’s given me an outlet to discuss grief…being widowed…the holidays were brutal…
2) The discussions on how to approach initial contact have been helpful.
3) I’ve found friends to chat with thru posting.
4) I’ve found that I still harbor some grief and have expressed it thru anger…not a good thing….but a good thing to recognize…both the grief and the anger component.
5) I’ve re-found the humor side of me.
6) I’ve laughed at many of the postings…both for the humor…and for the absurdity of some.
7) I’ve seen the wisdom of many on so many different interpersonal relationships.
I think that my observations can be interpreted as painting with a broad brush so, let me narrow it down a little:
Has posting helped you cope with your own emotions, the difficulties inherent in internet dating, or with your interpersonal relationships? | |
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| Do the forums help with dating and relationships,
Posted: 3/13/2009 1:04:10 PM | | Yes, postings has helped with going through some hard times. If there is something I can say to someone in the forums which will make their day brighter, that is a big plus. Also, the forums seem to tell a lot about who a person really is and what they stand for. I can understand where you are coming from regarding the loss of a loved one. I lost my son last year and it helps to reach out to people on the forums to ease the pain of the loss. | |
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| Do the forums help with dating and relationships,
Posted: 3/13/2009 1:11:02 PM | Oh definitely, yes. Not only do I enjoy all the different personalities enormously, and have found plenty of fresh and useful perspectives on things, I've also often found myself taking my own advice.
It's been pretty good. Hope it's helpful for those to whom I originally write it, too! | |
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| Do the forums help with dating and relationships,
Posted: 3/13/2009 1:11:51 PM | I think they help, in a couple of ways.
Sometimes it's good to get another perspective... the forums are GREAT for that!!! 
Also, it's great if you're interested in someone and they post on the forums. You can check out their posts and get a glimpse of their personality. Sometimes that's enough to make you say "hell no!!!!!" and sometimes it's enough to make you think you'd like to get to know them better.
I think the forums are great. Such a diverse world we live in!!!  | |
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| Do the forums help with dating and relationships,
Posted: 3/13/2009 1:18:14 PM | Ah, I love the forums.... yeah, some of them have been helpful, others have given me reasons to laugh, some have been educational and some just give me an outlet to rip into someone and get any aggressions out.
I also think the forums are a good way to get to know anyone you might be interested in. think about it... you can read the last 25 posts that someone has made... if you're interested in that person, what better way to find out what kind of person they are than by reading their posts??
I've also met some really cool people on the forums. Not in person persay, but people who are forum regulars who have a lot of good stuff to say. Some of them have earned my utmost respect. :-)
Best dern forums in the land... POF! | |
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| Do the forums help with dating and relationships,
Posted: 3/13/2009 1:22:54 PM | Hey #6 on my list is answered....
Eye's water....belly giggles....eyes roll over about a hundred times....YOU, are a hoot...and I always enjoy the dry humor....
Too bad your a man!
Not yet (I've only been here FIVE years lol) but .....
I get to look at pictures of da girls ........ YAY.
Don, do ya think the gals would share some private pics with us....shhhh
Irish | |
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| Do the forums help with dating and relationships,
Posted: 3/13/2009 1:31:02 PM | Huummmm I think the forum could help but there seems to be too many people more concerned with ****ing ie girls V girls or people who just pop in who haven't even read the thread properly and just start making remarks that aren't really relevant.
Oh and I don't think God of Rock even referred to you in my thread btw... Didn't know why you thought he did?! Maybe I missed something though.
I think it is nice though that some people on here genuinely seem to want to help. | |
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| Do the forums help with dating and relationships,
Posted: 3/13/2009 1:43:04 PM | Ok, I usually come to the Forums for laughter. But most of the time, I learn a lot about things I was never aware of. At times, I feel I may have been too sheltered because some of the questions brought forward here are too foreign to me. 
But I am impressed at the eloquence of some posters in providing some insights on so many relationship problems. In that sense, having taken a mental note, I will be applying them in the future and hopefully avoid pitfalls that are so common, it appears.
For instance, I did learn that normal caring could be taken as neediness. So, something to avoid.  However, Forums have not really helped me in my POF relationship. Though some people do not bother to read the Fora, some of the guys are bothered by people participating in it. Someone even told me to stop posting here. 
Oh, something that really makes me wonder is how some of us could be so cruel/rude/uncharitable/replete of compassion to dispense our so called advice but to actually project our own problems and judgmental nature. I thought Fora was intended to be a participation in community discussions and at times when I feel the creator of the thread is expecting that, some of us tend to be in a lynching mood and add insult to injury. But most other times, I think it is a great avenue for exchanging ideas and making friends. | |
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| Do the forums help with dating and relationships,
Posted: 3/13/2009 1:46:13 PM |
Do the forums help with dating and relationships,
Let see...
Communication is the key to relationships. Forums are a way of communicating. Therefore forums are the key to relationships.....I tried.
I think discussion helps if you know the general direction you want to explorer - and the forums can be helpful in that regard. I also think the forums can be extremely unhelpful for people who can't filter "bad advice" because it makes things that much more confusing/complex.
If at the end of the day each person does not do their own bit of hard thinking, the forums can be more damaging than helpful - there are a lot of jaded people giving advice, and lot of people who haven't really thought about the advice they offer. | |
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| Do the forums help with dating and relationships,
Posted: 3/13/2009 1:47:55 PM | | I enjoy the forums for the social interaction and I've met some great folks whom I could not or would not date but that doesn't mean they lack value. I also find fresh perspectives. I've even been known to (GASP!) change my mind/opinion. | |
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| Do the forums help with dating and relationships,
Posted: 3/13/2009 1:50:15 PM | | I think forums can be beneficial towards dating and relationships because you can learn a lot from them and share experiences. Like the first posting on this topic mentioned earlier, it also gives you an avenue to vent a little as well. The great thing about these postings is you can get some great advice from people that have went through unique situations and a lot of people on this site handle the topics with a lot of maturity unlike other sites I've seen. | |
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| Do the forums help with dating and relationships,
Posted: 3/13/2009 1:50:18 PM | | I love these forums, kinda wish I'd read them awhile before I started dating! It's amazing how educational they can actually be. I mean where else can the opposite sex get so much insite and understanding about the other? Quite addicting really. | |
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Rush™
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Joined: 2/17/2009
Msg: 14 | |
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| Do the forums help with dating and relationships,
Posted: 3/13/2009 2:04:02 PM | Posters,
Have I ever given you my "Life is like a golf lesson" analogy?
Life is like a golf lesson...if you do the 50 gazillion things the golf pro tells you to do...you'll chuck your clubs and take up bowling...the key is to find the one or two things that work for you...hone them...and the results will amaze you.
VVVVHit #6 on my list again...lol | |
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| Do the forums help with dating and relationships,
Posted: 3/13/2009 2:12:29 PM | | Am honing... If my strip club thread has taught me anything it is how lucky I am to have my man as some men are total asses! haha Plus all this talk of having sex with him and thinking of him and only him has got me feeling frisky so he gonna get some serious loving when I see him next! hehe 2 good things I honed in on there! lol x | |
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Landra
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Joined: 9/10/2007
Msg: 17 | |
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| Do the forums help with dating and relationships,
Posted: 3/13/2009 2:18:48 PM | After spending a particular amount of time here, you will hear everything and begin to realize that just about whatever happens in the human condition follows predictable patterns. In addition whatever events there are going to be people there are those that play victim, while there are those that want to take control of the situation and do something.
Have I learned something here that I can apply to my relationship. Yes, a ton of stuff. Not only about my previous relationships, but also why I was not interested in having a good relationship to then developing one, that even though we split 5 times we are together right now and working on the long term.
So it's all good. | |
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| Do the forums help with dating and relationships,
Posted: 3/13/2009 2:22:55 PM |
Has posting helped you cope with your own emotions, the difficulties inherent in internet dating, or with your interpersonal relationships?
OP -- It's nice to know that you've gained something from your time in the fora. Beyond just an outlet to post, it seems that you've also managed to get "something back" from your time here. Good on you.
As for me, I wouldn't say being here or posting here has afforded me any chance to "cope" with my emotions, or any difficulties with internet dating (as I'm with someone)...but it does open a lot of doors for enhanced interpersonal relationships. On that, I'll have to say being here has indeed opened my eyes wider than they were before, and much for the same reasons a lot of have cited.
From the sublime to the ridiculous, I have witnessed a lot of keen insights just as I've witnessed a lot of "cookie cutter" posts that all seem to say the same thing. Watching how people respond to any particular item is what fascinates me the most, and gives new definitions as the days go by.
Forums can also have the interesting side effect of creating acquaintances that may not have developed out there in the "real world", and that never gets old.
Good post. Well done. | |
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| Do the forums help with dating and relationships,
Posted: 3/13/2009 2:33:19 PM | | Since I work odd hours the forums are fun to read and on occasion post to. Have actually found some wonderful, literate, funny, eccentric, profoundly interesting men and women on POF. Some are very opposite of how I live but hold my attention because they are nice, and simply challenge my thinking. And its a hoot to get e-mailed by offline friends who are also on POF. | |
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| Do the forums help with dating and relationships,
Posted: 3/13/2009 3:17:06 PM | Gosh I have some of my favorite posters, those who crack me up every time I read one of their sarcastic comments. They add a bit of humor to my otherwise dull work day.
I appreciate lots of the women around here for some are so assertive and opinionated that it gives me someone to admire. | |
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| Do the forums help with dating and relationships,
Posted: 3/13/2009 3:36:10 PM | I think the forums are fun.....I like to learn about what people think on certain subjects so reading some of these posts......sure dosent take long to learn about some posters.....
some of the posts are very informative....
some are funny....
some are foreign because I cant make a bit of sense out of them......
some are like novels......
and then you have the ones that just end up pissing most of the posters off.....
great reading!!!!! | |
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| Do the forums help with dating and relationships,
Posted: 3/13/2009 3:39:40 PM | What I've discovered from the forums:
(1) More than one woman has wanted to kill me for more than one of my posts.
(2) When they contact me, I can persuade them to only want to hurt me real bad.
(3) I could probably have casual sex more often if I lived wherever women in the forums live, which for some reason, doesn't seem to be within a one hour drive.
(4) Then again, they might kill me if they were within a one hour drive (except for that cute Canadian who's never said anything about killing me , yet - you know who you are).
(5) Women are no more comprehensible online than they were offline, but online, I have more opportunities to be perplexed.
(6) If I followed my own advice, I'd be better off. | |
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| Do the forums help with dating and relationships,
Posted: 3/13/2009 3:56:52 PM | | The forums have been useful to me for relationship advice/sharing/aspects. Sexual topics, and health and fitness. But I see too many trolls being allowed to slide and good topics get erased because some forum Nazi's simply don't agree with OP or topic...Better moderation would definatly be in order! Hell, I bet this thread gets the boot! | |
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| Do the forums help with dating and relationships,
Posted: 3/13/2009 4:13:29 PM | Ok Posters,
I'll come clean!!! I had a little reflection time to create, what I think is a good tread topic....I got the 10 day ban...And yes, I deserved it. I was name calling...But in that time out...I got to read, what I hadn't, the forum posting rules....very comprehensively....lol...and I'd looked, where I'd never looked before, at the complaint thread....WOW there's some people out here with way way wayyyy too much time on their collective hands...posting complaints left and right. I understand the position the mods have...way too many complaints...a few valid...and many I just don't comprehend...and too few mods to look more closely at what's transpired...so in this respect the forums have helped me understand the forums....lol
I'm glad to see some familiar and respected faces visit this thread...and post jokes...nice comentary...and their collective views on posting...
Being my age...the 2-D world is somewhat abstract to me...I hate IM...same with texting...I really like email...I like to write...so, having said that, I'd like to think that the bits and pieces that I think will work for me, in what ever regard, I take into the 3-D world..It's where I live...
My posting has helped me cry, laugh, roll eyes, make serious comment, make funny comment, shake my head wondering wtf was it that I'd just read...
anyway....take care, and enjoy!
Irish | |
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