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 edible47
Joined: 8/24/2008
Msg: 1
heartache over much a younger woman Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
I fell for a wonderful lady ...half my age. I admit we did have some issues that were probably generation gap but we really did fall in crazy love. After almost 4 years in a relationship it has ended. We called it a mutual agreement to do so and I do understand her logic...........but I miss her soooooo much. We have talked on phone and when I hear her voice I get all thrilled and get my hopes up to see her again.
Anyone wanting to chime it with some words of wisdom, i would love to here. I will go into more details upon hearing from you.
thanks, Ed
 Irish Eyez
Joined: 12/30/2008
Msg: 2
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heartache over much a younger woman
Posted: 3/14/2009 7:35:01 AM
Hold dearly onto your wondrous memories and move on with a smile on your face. :)
 ~Hello~
Joined: 7/30/2008
Msg: 3
heartache over much a younger woman
Posted: 3/14/2009 7:36:49 AM
edible .. my take on it is - You have to make a 'clean break' .. stop the contact and torturing your heart .. It's hard to get over someone you're spending time chatting with .. Not saying you have to totally stop all contact forever .. just til you're over the romance..
Be gentle with your heart

good Luck!
 Rushâ„¢
Joined: 2/17/2009
Msg: 4
heartache over much a younger woman
Posted: 3/14/2009 7:42:27 AM
I agree with the other ladies. The pain will just worsen, if you don't just move on.

Good luck, hun.
 MahoganyRush
Joined: 2/25/2009
Msg: 5
heartache over much a younger woman
Posted: 3/14/2009 7:43:50 AM
Ed my man, you need to cut of contact with this woman, there is no point in torturing your self, you cannot be friends with someone when every time you see her or hear her voice you desire her even more.

Here's what you do NO CONTACT for a minimum of 60 days, or until you get over her whichever is longer. Cut off your fingers, delete your email account, throw away your cell phone/I phone/blackberry/fido do whatever it takes to NOT contact her. Don't call, don't write, don't take her calls, text's, emails, even a note on a pigeon on the window, whack the bird if you have to,If you still feel you can't let go, ask for help , and dont be afraid.
 psssst
Joined: 6/4/2007
Msg: 6
heartache over much a younger woman
Posted: 3/14/2009 7:46:43 AM
Whelp... I'm sorry OP... but I'm not going to be quite as nice as the other posters...

There was 30 years difference between you and her... that's not a generation gap, that's nearing on two generations that the relationship would have to over-ride. You must have known that it wasn't going to be a forever thing...

Do what you have to do to forget about her... hire a hooker, pick up a one night stand or however it works where you live... but c'mon... you're just being masochistic in continuing to communicate with her...
 Arabianangel
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 7
heartache over much a younger woman
Posted: 3/14/2009 7:55:24 AM

whack the bird if you have to


Bird looks at Iceman ruffles it's feathers, and says " Hey man what's a bird got to do to get some respect here"
 Pitch Blease
Joined: 3/4/2009
Msg: 8
heartache over much a younger woman
Posted: 3/14/2009 8:09:44 AM
I am sorry for your heartache. It gets better with time. Going cold turkey is probably the best. It's over, get used to it.

Now for some tough words. You are in your 60s. I'm sure this is not your first breakup. Suck it up and move on. You say it was a mutual agreement, then you should be able to not wallow in the thrill of her voice anymore. If it was amicable, then wish her the best and get over it.
 Jumbie564
Joined: 5/20/2008
Msg: 9
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heartache over much a younger woman
Posted: 3/14/2009 8:37:23 AM

There was 30 years difference between you and her... that's not a generation gap, that's nearing on two generations that the relationship would have to over-ride. You must have known that it wasn't going to be a forever thing...


And you felt it was necessary to add this bit of commentary, why?

People of all ages and uncommon backgrounds fall in love and make it work. Are the odds against a relationship lasting with such an enormous age difference, yes; but you can't say every relationship under those circumstances fail.

This man took a chance at love and it turned out badly for him. He's simply hurting like anyone else in the same situation. He's not asking for anyone to judge him, he's simply asking for a little advice on how to cope.
 kebs4fun
Joined: 10/31/2008
Msg: 10
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heartache over much a younger woman
Posted: 3/14/2009 8:50:34 AM
Don't be sad that it's over, smile that it ever happened at all.
 psssst
Joined: 6/4/2007
Msg: 11
heartache over much a younger woman
Posted: 3/14/2009 8:53:22 AM

And you felt it was necessary to add this bit of commentary, why?
Common-sense - if someone leans on a stove when dinner is being served, they are going to get burnt.


This man took a chance at love and it turned out badly for him.
If he wanted coddling, he should have posted in the broken hearts forum...

Yeah, it sucks that he's hurting... I'm not going to argue that... but I'm also a realist...

Cheers...
 The Ringleader
Joined: 10/25/2008
Msg: 12
heartache over much a younger woman
Posted: 3/14/2009 9:02:34 AM
I think you believe that you are only "heartbroken" due to the fact she was half your age? Age is irrelevant in love...anyone would be terribly saddened after a break up of four years regardless of the age of their partner, right?
You ask for words of wisdom, my suggestion is to keep yourself active with things you enjoy. If that doesn't work for you try alcohol!!!
 kpooks
Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 13
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heartache over much a younger woman
Posted: 3/14/2009 9:03:43 AM
Weep...and look for the next one...perhaps a little closer to your age.
 hamango
Joined: 3/8/2009
Msg: 14
heartache over much a younger woman
Posted: 3/14/2009 9:08:17 AM
Go on a space voyage at almost the speed of light until when you get back she will have aged but you won't and so she will have caught up. By then her age based reason for breaking up will have become obsolete. Take along some condoms in case you run into any loose space babes.
 Jumbie564
Joined: 5/20/2008
Msg: 15
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heartache over much a younger woman
Posted: 3/14/2009 9:31:27 AM

Common-sense - if someone leans on a stove when dinner is being served, they are going to get burnt.


Falling in love is the antithesis of common sense. In fact, if we let common sense rule our hearts the institution of marriage would never exist and only the rich would have children.
 Crystalnight
Joined: 8/12/2008
Msg: 16
heartache over much a younger woman
Posted: 3/14/2009 9:36:30 AM
Maybe I'm too much of a romantic but I believe that if her and you still have those feelings for each other. Why couldn't you just try again and this time make it work? Why don't you tell her how you feel? I believe that counselors would say that you can get back together but you guys have to communicate. You guys have to be equally as sharing. I believe any relationship can work. As long as there's no abusive spouses and kids involved there's nothing to worry about.


Heidi
 Crystalnight
Joined: 8/12/2008
Msg: 17
heartache over much a younger woman
Posted: 3/14/2009 9:39:19 AM
I hate when people think alcohol is a cure for a broken heart. Why can't you just try mending your broken heart? If she really loves you why can't you guys have the most passionate night of your life? Why can't you guys find the tools and tactics to get back together but for right now just take a break..
 pbear511
Joined: 11/22/2007
Msg: 18
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heartache over much a younger woman
Posted: 3/14/2009 9:43:31 AM
i agree with most of the posters in this thread but iceman said it the best.
no contact. none. as odd as it may sound, it's also the best chance you have of her being interested in you again but you'll have moved on by then and won't that feel so much better?

good luck.
 *Sanscheyle*
Joined: 3/2/2009
Msg: 19
heartache over much a younger woman
Posted: 3/14/2009 9:55:37 AM
OP, I was in a relationship with a man 16 years my junior for 7 years. We had everything against us from the beginning. He was German. I was American. He hated the United States with a passion and I'll simply kill for my country if I have to.

The only advice I have for you is to not let your emotions for her cloud your judgement. 4 years may be a long time for you but 7 years was a longer time for me at my age. I learned my lesson the hard way. I was already an adult and he wasn't.

A woman half your age may offer excitement for a time but a woman your own age will offer wisdom, intelligence, patience and the maturity to know when to kick your a$$ to the curb if she thinks you're dumb enough to think a woman "half your age" can give you what you need.

Get over your lust for her, grow the he!! up and move on to a mature, stable future with someone your own age.

Sans
 breath~
Joined: 1/13/2008
Msg: 20
heartache over much a younger woman
Posted: 3/14/2009 9:57:51 AM
Well OP, it seems you've made a good start "getting over" someone.
You've got a profile here on PoF.. it's upbeat and says nothing about already being in love with, and heartbroken over, someone else.
You've started a thread that advertises you as an older man who can 'handle' 'be with' (whatever) a "much younger woman".
(I mean, after all, what does age really have to do with heartache.. but you just had to tell that, eh?)

Yeah, you've made a good start.



okay, this was my cynical post of the day, I admit it.
 The Ringleader
Joined: 10/25/2008
Msg: 21
heartache over much a younger woman
Posted: 3/14/2009 10:11:03 AM

I hate it when people think alcohol is a cure for a broken heart.


Give me a break, I was not serious about drinking himself to death over his broken heart.........it was only meant to make him smile!


Geez, I just hate it when people have their heads so far up in the clouds. (thought I was going somewhere else with that, huh?)
 red_relaxed
Joined: 7/18/2007
Msg: 22
heartache over much a younger woman
Posted: 3/14/2009 10:11:47 AM

I will go into more details upon hearing from you.

I'll refrain from offering my WOW until then.

Sorry to hear you're all busted up.
 Tuckers Dad
Joined: 11/20/2008
Msg: 23
heartache over much a younger woman
Posted: 3/14/2009 10:14:12 AM
Dating younger/older people happens all the time. While age is just a number, some numbers cannot be overcome. There are very few people who can handle the difference of 30 years in age. IMO 10 years is really the maximum. If a 60 year old dates a 30 year old, and he/she wants children, what then? Or how about retirement planning? There are all kind of logical obstacles that we fail to consider when we think with our hearts and not our heads.

As for other suggestions of a clean break, that really is the best way to handle things. No contact at all until you can handle it without pain or remorse.

Perhaps you might ask yourself what you truly miss? Is it the person herself, or what she offered you? I know after difficult breakups, the emptiness and ther void are sometimes the hardest things to fill. Take up a hobby or volunteer in the community to take up the time.

It does get better and easier. Good luck.
 Niflheim
Joined: 10/30/2008
Msg: 24
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heartache over much a younger woman
Posted: 3/14/2009 10:21:01 AM
OP, I have to cosign with poster#6 insofar as I must ask what the hell were you thinking it would last? This reminds me so much of a high school chum who wound up marrying a man 16 years her elder a year after graduation. A decade into the marriage, she started cheating on him, and the marriage dissolved shortly after that. While I don't condone what she did, I couldn't help but inform her ex what a dumb a$$ he was thinking that some sweet young thing would just throw away her youth to accompany him through his mid life crisis---and this was part of his rationale for marrying her at age 35.

Don't wish to pontificate, but how in the name of God can you relate to a woman half your age? I couldn't fathom entering into a relationship with a girl who is young enough to be my daughter---and yes, most women in their mid to late 20's aren't women yet in my opinion. If your now distraught over the fact that there is nothing left to resurrect your youth, then that's really sad OP.
 Chronomancer
Joined: 2/22/2009
Msg: 25
heartache over much a younger woman
Posted: 3/14/2009 10:48:01 AM
I have been in the reverse of your situation and I'll tell ya this old bean, just do what you feel. If she does not respond in kind then just accept that part of your life is over with her. If you're still friends and that is not enough for you and she is not willing to strive with you as a mate then take her friendship if it is true and look for someone who will accomodate your needs. You're wasting time pining over a love that will never be, thats one thing we don't have an infinite amount of.
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