| Terms of endearment, are they offensive or a colloquialism ?
Posted: 3/16/2009 4:59:43 PM | A comment on another thread reminded me of a situation I saw on another site ( a chat room). Two ladies were ripping into a guy who had addressed someone as 'sweetheart'. He was a Londoner and could just have equally called her 'treacle',or if from Stoke called her 'duck'. (etc etc with different postcodes  ).
Every area has these types of names, are you offended by them or accept them as local 'patois' ?
If they offend .................... why ?
This is not a polarised thread, I call guys 'mate', how do they feel about how a female is addressed ? | |
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| Terms of endearment, are they offensive or a colloquialism ?
Posted: 3/16/2009 5:14:31 PM | I use the term 'babe' with affection, some think babe = pig, if someone calls me 'babe' I know they can't remember my name, NOT that they think I am porcine
I used to use the term 'sweetie' until someone talked about liquorice allsorts which I felt was insulting to Dolly Mixtures and Parma Violets. | |
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| Terms of endearment, are they offensive or a colloquialism ?
Posted: 3/16/2009 5:32:11 PM | | if you go round the black country then the women call the men c0ck or c0cker lol imagine the pc brigade hearing that! we used to have a laugh if we had a young lad with us and watch him crap himself. if you ever meet black country women you know why! lol | |
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| Terms of endearment, are they offensive or a colloquialism ?
Posted: 3/16/2009 6:32:01 PM | Excellent thread .
Brother went to a pub one day and said hey up me duck have you got change for the phone. She stares at him, gives him change. He goes off uses the phone. His mate stays at the bar and over hears the bar maid say to some blokes , 'he's just called me a duck', blokes say' do you want us to sort him out', mate speaks up, 'don't be offended by that its just a term of endearment where he lives, its not an insult.' Brother retrns, says thank me duck, and walks off. Blokes and bar made stare at each other like he's on another planet.
I accept local terms of endearment and because of my travel I hear most of them. They add character to the language and identity to the areas.
I sometimes use me duck myself as a bit of a micky take as its not strictly from round here but 6 miles up the road. Strange that, how a term of endearment can have such a sharp cut off boundary. Same with names for food such as Batch and drink, mash up, but that's another thread.
If I know where they're from I accept them. What I don't like is terms of ensearment that I think should be reserved for partners, 'love' out of its area, sweetie, babe, huni, honey, darling.
Someone recently called me all of these. I was a bit miffed when I found out she called everyone and his dog them too. I mean a do named babe, who ever heard of such a silly thing.
So I think they should be used where appropriate and sparingly.
Funniest was when I went to the rover Birmingham plant on a delivery, I asked a huge west indian bloke for direction. I expected this deep rough west indian accent to come out, but no, He said, 'yo alrite me luv, yo go left owt of ea....' In the highest pitch Black country accent you could imagine. Totally opposite of what I expected and I'd never been called luv before so that took me by surprise too. Really friendly and helpful though. | |
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| Terms of endearment, are they offensive or a colloquialism ?
Posted: 3/16/2009 11:01:35 PM | The North-eastern "hinny" - said with the right accent, of course - just makes me go weak at the knees, even if it's being said by the 75-year-old grandmother in the corner shop!
My most interesting exchange was with a work colleague who in the course of one day asked, "How's it going, girl?", "Are you OK, woman?" and "Everything all right, missus?" My life history in 8 hours! Although I must say I really noticed it because I don't like being referred to as "girl" at my age and with my wrinkles and grey hair... but I wouldn't go so far as to say I find it offensive, just short-sighted by the speaker. | |
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| Terms of endearment, are they offensive or a colloquialism ?
Posted: 3/17/2009 12:36:33 AM | Awwwww they're all wonderful...
I'm c0cka to my aunt and uncle, duckling to my beloved Dave, was sunshine to my grandad, petal to my nanna....
I have been called chick, chicken, love, lover, hen, pet, bab, babes, shug, sweetie, lass, rackamalibus (although I think that's the same as buggerlugs)...
I've never found them derogatory or offensive... I do find it mildly amusing though when being served by a girl half my age and she calls me bab..
Hey Josh, welcome back and if he was a black country lad he'd more likely have said Yow'm awroit luvv, yow'm guw left owt eya... (yow rhyming with how ).. I love the black country accent ... | |
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| Terms of endearment, are they offensive or a colloquialism ?
Posted: 3/17/2009 12:50:37 AM | I use many terms of endearment and I use them liberally. Babe, chick, chicken, duck, ducky, duckling, poppet, petal, flower, blossom, sweetpea, love, lover, lovebug, sweetie, honey, darling, etc...
I use them because I like using them.
My dad used to call me kidda or killer (Scouser)
My Granny called me hen (Edinburgh). Hen is about the only one I don't use - it doesn't sound right in an English accent.
Duck was used among proper Northamptonians when I was growing up but was being wiped out by the influx of Londoners and other non-locals who came with the New Town.
I like to hear them, I like to be called them and I have never found them offensive in their own right.
Oh, and I used to have a cat called Buggerlugs. | |
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| Terms of endearment, are they offensive or a colloquialism ?
Posted: 3/17/2009 1:20:01 AM | I love the london ways & sayings & miss going to the markets & hearing people call you treacle etc. I remember when my Mum came to stay with me in London & she found it offensive to start with being called treacle & darling until I said it doesn't mean anything the same as when I used to visit her in Derby & I noticed eveyone called everyone duck.
I often call people sweetheart & do it without even realising sometimes.
I love listening to the endearments & the different ways people have depending on where they're from.
I certainly don't think there is anything offensive about it. | |
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| Terms of endearment, are they offensive or a colloquialism ?
Posted: 3/17/2009 2:40:31 AM | I tend to call Love the senior ladies and Boss any male I deal with. However, I don't call females as a whole babe/baby as that sound a bit accondescending to me.
There's nothing wrong with terms like unless they are meant as a put down . | |
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| Terms of endearment, are they offensive or a colloquialism ?
Posted: 3/17/2009 2:47:22 AM | I find it varies as much on someones generation as from where they live.
The older generation tends to use words such as sweetie, duck, chicken, lovely the younger love, babe, hun.
I don't find it offensive, only cringed when one of my sons friends tried to be smooth and said " you ok milf" | |
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| Terms of endearment, are they offensive or a colloquialism ?
Posted: 3/17/2009 10:02:27 AM | | Some people read too much into this I think. Its generally just a figure of speech and related to what area your from. Yorkshire men tend to call other men " Love " which can be a little disconcerting and worrying if your not used to it. I'm not to keen on a spotty teenager calling me sunny or sunshine . I find that a bit patronising . Other than that it doesn't bother me . I tend to call women love or Mrs. I guess it could be inappropriate in the work place for example or certain situations. But for the most part its harmless IMHO. | |
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| Terms of endearment, are they offensive or a colloquialism ?
Posted: 3/17/2009 10:30:41 AM | yes, it really depends on who says it and in what situation.
I love the North Eastern 'hinny" and 'pet' (memories of a Geordie bf) but if anyone called me 'hen' I would run a mile!!
Equally, when a teenager calls me 'dear' when serving me in a shop, I want to slap them!!
My 81 year old mum gets to call me 'dear' no-one else....bless her xx
I like to use 'toots'  | |
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| Terms of endearment, are they offensive or a colloquialism ?
Posted: 3/17/2009 10:50:17 AM | I've been called all kinds of names as terms of endearment from memory we have wee bairn, bonny lass, honey, duck, c0ck, babe, my lover, sexy, darling, even tart to name but a few.
I call my mates babe or honey and my kids get called every name under the sun from honey bunny - munchkin, all children I call sweetheart!!
I don't take offense if the names are called in a certain way!! | |
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| Terms of endearment, are they offensive or a colloquialism ?
Posted: 3/17/2009 1:18:06 PM | Its all subjective isnt it, some offend some people, some dont, me personally dont like to be referred to as "babes" by a virtual stranger or sweetheart actually, its lazy speak i think used by people who cant be arsed to address someone they are trying to get to know without bothering with their name.
Sweetheart and babes is fine in a relationship | |
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| Terms of endearment, are they offensive or a colloquialism ?
Posted: 4/22/2009 3:38:26 PM | Thought of this when reading the 'soup' thread
If you can be called c0ck as a term of endearment, and c0ck-a-leekie soup has been going for years, whats wrong with 'c0ck' soup, we can have 'duck' a l'orange, 'treacle' pudding. 'love' hearts, 
struggling to find any more at the moment but give me time | |
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| Terms of endearment, are they offensive or a colloquialism ?
Posted: 4/22/2009 3:41:36 PM | | Being a Yorkshire lass, I used to call everyone Love.................and it didn't half get me into trouble. I had more complaints about me when in the police due to people thinking I was taking the pee...........................still do it now, apart from certain Londoners here who I call "Treacle" !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! | |
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| Terms of endearment, are they offensive or a colloquialism ?
Posted: 4/22/2009 4:03:56 PM | I don't really like being called 'darling' by blokes at work but don't say anything,just grit my teeth ( no smart quips JCL! )
I have the habit of calling folk chick,even blokes.Some look at me as if i've insulted them
Babe,hunni,chick,baby are all ok but if someone calls me 'mate' i shudder | |
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