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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Is e-dumping becoming social acceptable?      Home login  
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 KurvvyKat
Joined: 12/30/2008
Msg: 1
Is e-dumping becoming social acceptable?Page 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
If you met online is it ok to dump or be dumped online? Say you met online, have exchanged phone numbers, had a few days or many dates. And things don't work out, do you take the cowardly, immature and selfish way out? Or do you man/woman up be sensitive, mature and brave enough to face the person?

I think it is the chickens way out. At least give the person the respect to make the phone call if not meet in person.

What do you think?
 EdwardPartSix
Joined: 4/6/2007
Msg: 2
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Is e-dumping becoming social acceptable?
Posted: 3/21/2009 11:26:00 AM
I think I'd prefer to be dumped by email.
 SMaggs
Joined: 3/9/2009
Msg: 3
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Is e-dumping becoming social acceptable?
Posted: 3/21/2009 11:27:11 AM
My take is dump them in person, it's much more noble. Take them out for coffee and lay it out, in writing if you have to. Working in HR, we have the Term letter template LOL ;).


Dear Date,

Your relationship with [person] has been terminated as of [date]. Here are your rebound rights, and your 60 day election period starts now.

Regards,

Your ex

I dumped my ex in person, and she went crazy after it, and called me all hours of the night. What has to be done is done. That was 3 years ago.
 Sweetface75
Joined: 3/16/2009
Msg: 4
Is e-dumping becoming social acceptable?
Posted: 3/21/2009 11:27:43 AM
I would at least like to hear it from the persons mouth, Why ppl cant be adults about it is beyond me,but is it going to change ? Not likely
 hamango
Joined: 3/8/2009
Msg: 5
Is e-dumping becoming social acceptable?
Posted: 3/21/2009 11:49:06 AM
I think if it's OK to "meet" online then it would be natural to "dump" online. The online virtual realm of dating illusion provides safe distance at both ends of a relationship. Some people have their entire relationship online. The electronic version of a Dear John letter. If I was going to tell someone it's over I would do so face to face wearing protective gear. But I would rather be told online by email than hear it in person if the tables were turned. The only way to end a relationship that I would consider good enough would be when you both decided at the same time after talking it through, agreeing that it is a mutual choice. If that can't happen then the medium used will not matter in terms of how much it sucks.
 The rock man
Joined: 4/13/2008
Msg: 6
Is e-dumping becoming social acceptable?
Posted: 3/21/2009 11:58:45 AM
When you get picked up from a coop, what do you expect?

E-pick up seems to line right up with an e-dump!

So I am a chicken for avoiding any more of the issues that have gotten me to decide to dump the person in the first place? Like drama or chaos. Childish behavior and or immature people. Lying and deceitful actions. So be it!

Be happy you are getting anything other then ignored and left wondering!
There are many that don't deserve an e-mail much less a personal phone call!
 Jewlsey*
Joined: 1/24/2009
Msg: 7
Is e-dumping becoming social acceptable?
Posted: 3/21/2009 11:59:01 AM
I think it depends on how serious the relationship was. A few months ago I met someone online and we were dating and had hidden ours profile only to find out that he tried to pick up a friend of mine online...well, he didn't really deserve an in person dumping IMO.
 KurvvyKat
Joined: 12/30/2008
Msg: 8
Is e-dumping becoming social acceptable?
Posted: 3/21/2009 12:34:30 PM
I have to admit I did it once, not my proudest moment. Would I do it that way again? No!!!
 mynamesnotjesus
Joined: 2/26/2009
Msg: 9
Is e-dumping becoming social acceptable?
Posted: 3/21/2009 1:03:04 PM

If you met online is it ok to dump or be dumped online?

I personally do not feel where people met or were introduced is relevant.


do you take the cowardly, immature and selfish way out?

Cowardly, immature, and selfish as defined by you? Me? My date? My mom? Your mom?


Or do you man/woman up be sensitive, mature and brave enough to face the person?

Sensitive, mature, and brave as defined by you? Me? Your mom? My date?


What do you think?

I don't really believe it matters what I think...you've already judged the behavior.

But for shites and giggles I will post my opinion to an opinion board.

I prefer people don't waste my time, and me not wasting theirs. I personally prefer to "dump" (or be dumped by) someone when the decision has been made. Sometimes that happens when I am with them, so will tell them. Sometimes I am not with them, so I use the method they've shown they are most comfortable with and/or which is easiest for me to convey my decision about my life with a guarantee they will receive it.

No matter what "dumping" is "dumping." If everyone did it face to face someone would bytch and complain about why they pretended everything was fine until they could get together a week later to dump them. Or not wait, act funny, be called on it, and do it over the phone. Someone would bytch and complain because the "dumpee" interpreted a laugh or humor in the "dumper's" eye, or they weren't "sensitive" enough.
Someone would bytch and moan (eventually) about always having to look at another person when being dumped, they would prefer someone did it quickly via a phone or email so they could get on with their life.

Until being "dumped" is legally mediated, or two people legally agree on how to do it before the first date, there is not going to be an amicable way to do it and people will rarely behave how you think they should.
 Frau Blücher
Joined: 8/27/2006
Msg: 10
Is e-dumping becoming social acceptable?
Posted: 3/21/2009 1:03:56 PM
I would hate to be taken out for a final “dump date”...

“I don’t want to see you anymore.................you gonna finish those fries?”

Does it make it less painful to be dumped in public, while noshing on buttered scones and tea? If you’ve had enough of me, just leave me a voice mail or send an email. I don’t like taking a dump in public.
 Wench2pointOh
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 11
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Is e-dumping becoming social acceptable?
Posted: 3/21/2009 1:12:47 PM
in high school I had a guy dump me christmas eve took me out gave me flowers had me open my gift then said I wont be seeing you again when he dropped me off.. its like being fired after working your entire shift.. very wrong. an email is certainly better than the fall off the face of the earth, and texting.. but if you are in a long term relationship it needs to be more personal anyway.
 Cogie36
Joined: 10/23/2008
Msg: 12
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Is e-dumping becoming social acceptable?
Posted: 3/21/2009 1:36:44 PM
I think from reading the threads that most people delete their profiles....block their profiles....or just disappear never to be heard from again....so I guess I would go with.......cowards way out......people in general dont like rejection so if this is how you met i'd guess this is how it would end....... JMO
 RedQuill
Joined: 2/7/2009
Msg: 13
Is e-dumping becoming social acceptable?
Posted: 3/21/2009 2:08:48 PM
Well, look at it this way: You could be told, or you could be left out in the cold.

Most people would prefer a face-to-face discussion about where things went wrong, how each of them feels and come to a mutual understanding, but in a vast majority of cases, that simply won't happen because, yes, one person would feel uncomfortable doing that. Phone would be second best, but you're still talking to them and would still have to answer questions...so we end up with text-message breakups and email breakups. I prefer any proper breakup over silence. :)
 Archer61
Joined: 3/9/2009
Msg: 14
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Is e-dumping becoming social acceptable?
Posted: 3/21/2009 2:16:07 PM
My personal opinion on this would sound very much like Mynamesnotjesus' post. Yes, e-dumping is socially acceptable. Describing a non face-to-face dump as 'cowardly' assumes certain things about the so-called relationship. What about the relationship warrants the effort to get them face to face? There may be something about the other person that makes the dumper feel they'd be better off/safer/more whatever if they did it from a distance with that particular individual. Or gee, maybe they truly don't want to see them or hear the other person's voice for whatever reason and are emailing as a courtesy. One thing about doing it email is you don't have to answer questions. Why avoid questions? Cuz you don't want to see their face or hear their response when they hear the answers. There are all sorts of reasons, 'cowardly' or not, for doing it from a distance. Nothing to do with how you met them either.
 notatowniegirl
Joined: 4/18/2006
Msg: 15
Is e-dumping becoming social acceptable?
Posted: 3/21/2009 2:24:15 PM
who cares?

All I need to know about the dumper is that he says it's over. There's no need to bytch, moan or complain about the hows, whys and whens. Unless you're that insecure that you need to invent reasons why he/she is an awful person to make yourself feel better.
 *Sassy Redhead*
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 16
Is e-dumping becoming social acceptable?
Posted: 3/21/2009 2:41:18 PM
I think it depends on the depth of the relationship what venue you use to stop the relationship. The most mature way to end something is to do it face to face or via a phone call (guilty of that once on Christmas Eve ). IMHO the most immature way to end something is to just fade into the sunset without giving someone the reason behind your feelings or lack of feelings. I don't see any harm in emailing someone the reasons you can't see them any longer if your schedules just aren't able to connect anyother way. I would rather know via email or text then to be left wondering.

OP you should see the movie "He's just not into you". One of the funniest parts of the movie is when Drew Barrymore talks about the 7 different portals of technology to be rejected in this day and age. I guess it is just a hazard of technology evolving and dating today.
 KurvvyKat
Joined: 12/30/2008
Msg: 17
Is e-dumping becoming social acceptable?
Posted: 3/21/2009 3:34:21 PM
Sassyredhead,

I guess I will have to wait til it comes out on DVD, I am not sure it would be a good date movie. Maybe it would be...
 Landra
Joined: 9/10/2007
Msg: 18
Is e-dumping becoming social acceptable?
Posted: 3/21/2009 4:01:17 PM
e-dumping is better than disappearing without a word.
"exchanged phone numbers, had a few days or many dates" doesn't obligate anyone to you. People drift off all the time. I'd rather be told via email than not at all. And no need to face me-- why do I need to be dumped in person? Or by phone for that matter.
 Herding Cats
Joined: 8/15/2008
Msg: 19
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Is e-dumping becoming social acceptable?
Posted: 3/21/2009 4:07:26 PM

I think I'd prefer to be dumped by email.


I'd agree.

I'm with the other poster that said they don't want to be taken out for a "dump" date. And I don't really NEED to hear it on the phone. Just give a heads up and that's good enough.

Better to be told one way or another rather than left wondering if they're dead on their kitchen floor being gnawed by their cats.
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 20
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Is e-dumping becoming social acceptable?
Posted: 3/21/2009 4:09:41 PM
Send me the email with the check for dumping such a nice person, and all will be fine..............

If you think this is impersonal, try getting those papers served for divorcing and you did not even know it was happening........a few of my friends have experienced that, and for me, that is far from being socially acceptable.......

Just my opinion..........
 *Sassy Redhead*
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 21
Is e-dumping becoming social acceptable?
Posted: 3/21/2009 4:34:39 PM

I am not sure it would be a good date movie. Maybe it would be...

It may be a good way to end something with someone you are dating though. Take the guy to the movie and then after when you both are critiquing it, you could start a discussion regarding the ordeals of dating and it could lead into the.... "I'm just not into you" discussion .

It is a chick flick and probably best as a renter.....
 *buzz*
Joined: 6/1/2006
Msg: 22
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Is e-dumping becoming social acceptable?
Posted: 3/21/2009 4:43:22 PM
As there are always two sides to every story, even if it means the end - for whatever reason and as hard as it might be - I always preferred finale face to face.

To turn a page over when reading a book is easy but in a relationship to turn a page over takes some time. It's only fair to listen and voice themselves when one cannot take it anymore.
 uultramann
Joined: 2/5/2009
Msg: 23
Is e-dumping becoming social acceptable?
Posted: 3/21/2009 5:55:30 PM
Being dumped sucks. Period.

E-Dumping just shows that the person doing the dumping is either a true coward or has truly become an anti-social.

The Coward: Too scared to tell you face to face, or even by phone. E-Mail/Text Messages are impersonal, and don't require emotion. I was once dumped by text message. Was not cool.

Anti-Social: Maybe the person doing the dumping thinks that it is okay. Maybe the person doing the dumping thinks that it is a part of everyday life.

Personally, I like to feel human. I like to be able to hear my lover's voice. To look into my lover's eyes. To feel my lover's warm skin. The way I see it, once we meet, we should minimize the online part of the relationship.
 SimplyKmplicatd
Joined: 11/14/2008
Msg: 24
Is e-dumping becoming social acceptable?
Posted: 3/21/2009 7:29:20 PM
Honestly, an email is nice. If we met online and it was only a short term thing, say, not even 6 months, then an email is perfectly acceptable. Hell, I've had men just fade away and disappear and I will admit I've taken that approach myself a few times before.

Now if it was a long term thing, eh, again it depends on the type of relationship. The two and a half year one I was in ended in a screaming match at a friend's house. Is it better than an email? Prolly not to my friends. But a face to face breakup is almost necessary after that much time. Just do it in private. I hate people who go to restaurants or something to dump someone just cause they think it will save them a scene.

A breakup is a breakup. Especially when it's not mutual, it almost shouldn't matter how it's done. You're not gonna get any different answers in person than you would online, or on the phone, or texting, or whatever.
 thatnickguy
Joined: 7/17/2008
Msg: 25
Is e-dumping becoming social acceptable?
Posted: 3/21/2009 7:31:35 PM
Nah, I think something like that should be done in person.

Just because I meet someone online, it doesn't give me the right to dump them that way, too. I mean, by that logic, if I met someone through friends, I'd have to get my friend to dump them for me, too.
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