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| Why do Strong, Independant, and Outspoken MEN scare the hell out of the modern-day woman?
Posted: 3/21/2009 9:04:07 PM | Reading the forums and posts here on PoF has shone a lot of light on something very disturbing to me.
Most women these days want a man who she can mold to her own whims. Any man who is independent, sticks to his opinion(s), or outspoken about an issue is "flamed"as a jerk, insensitive, uncaring, cocky, alpha-male, etc etc.
In short, any man who is bold enough to act as a man is considered somehow not a prime "dateble" material. In the forums here, even some men will go as far as "play"the role of a "softie" just to please some women posters. I have also seen this play out in real world!
So now tell me, what kind of a man do you want? Why cant we let men be men and we concentrate of us being women (not referring to "being in the kitchen etc etc "! ) | |
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| Why do Strong, Independant, and Outspoken MEN scare the hell out of the modern-day woman?
Posted: 3/21/2009 9:10:03 PM | | This is really taking things to the extreme, do you really see that this is always happening? Big generalization. I want a man who is himself, someone that is compatible with me, I don't care what other women think of him. Personally, I don't like rude men or men who act all huffy/cocky like they have to be Alpha to be men...boring. I'm not the least bit interested in molding a man, he would need to come already all grown up and know his own mind, I'm not looking to mother someone. There are way too many variables to consider per each individual to make such broad-brush statements as you have made in your post. | |
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| Why do Strong, Independant, and Outspoken MEN scare the hell out of the modern-day woman?
Posted: 3/21/2009 9:11:22 PM | Guess it depends on what you think is acting like a man. I have no problems with outspoken, strong and independent men when they actually know what they are talking about and can back up their bullshit but individuals that are condescending and employ flawed logic don't impress me whether male or female.
I think it is much more unusual for a man to be really accepting of strong, independent and outspoken women because while these are perceived as good traits in men they are viewed as obnoxious and unfeminine in women by many people.
If I didn't appreicate a strong, independent, outspoken man in my life I would be having a problem right at the moment. | |
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| Why do Strong, Independant, and Outspoken MEN scare the hell out of the modern-day woman?
Posted: 3/21/2009 9:18:37 PM | I don't see smart, realistic, honest, responsible, clued in guys being shot down. A big hurray to them.
I see guys that are condescending, bitter, jaded, ignorant, bigoted and contemptuous getting their asses kicked by people intelligent enough to put them straight ....and so they should. | |
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| Why do Strong, Independant, and Outspoken MEN scare the hell out of the modern-day woman?
Posted: 3/21/2009 9:20:20 PM | Well we are supposed to be on our best behavior while on a date site.
In a sense lie about who we are in order to seem gentlemanly or sympathetic etc.
Then wait till we have them hooked to let our true colors out! (aka spine)
Also take into consideration that those flaming the guy for having a spine will usually not be in any shape to date them selves. ( bitter or angry about the last relationship going wrong)
I could care less if people get offended by a post or two of mine. I am happy with who I am and will not change to impress anyone. There seem to be just as many people who love me for me as there are that hate me for being me. Hell if not more.
I am the Alpha fecking male. I'm the RocK MaN baby. Who cares if some bitter or hating person doesn't likes that. I'm good with it!
Think about the safety people find behind their computers also. Most would never be as mouthy or judgemental in person. | |
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| Why do Strong, Independant, and Outspoken MEN scare the hell out of the modern-day woman?
Posted: 3/21/2009 10:36:41 PM |
OP!!! SAVIOR!! YOU ARE THE MESSIAH, LEAD US TO THE PROMISE LAND!!!...
 Classic! Well there are plenty of nice women still left on the planet. There are also plenty of real....um.... 's ?!?!
I've found that the best results in finding good women is achieved by employing a healthy dose of sarcastic wit. The good women will appreciate this, and will joke around with you. The bad women will call you a pig, and will then go back to their cave to mastermind their plan of stealing Christmas....or something. | |
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| Why do Strong, Independant, and Outspoken MEN scare the hell out of the modern-day woman?
Posted: 3/21/2009 10:56:58 PM | OP,
It's not gender specific. Strong, independent, outspoken wo(men) scare the hell out of EVERYBODY.
A motivational speaker that is regarded as an expert in my narrow profession publicly states,
"90% of people are sheep. 5% are wolves that prey on the sheep. 5% are sheepdogs that protect the sheep from the wolves. The sheep don't like the sheepdogs, because they have long teeth, like the wolves."
Someone else once said to me,
"Ignorance can be fixed with education. You can't fix stupid."
Bottom line, it's easier to reject somebody that isn't like you, or conform readily to your expectations, then to engage in self - analysis which might lead to the conclusion that !DUH! I'm a stupid sheep!
Personally, While I find the analogy of sheep / wolves / sheepdogs amusing, it's not entirely accurate. Both wolves and dogs prefer to run in packs. Some of us prefer to ride alone.
And that REALLY scares the hell out of everybody.
Cheers! | |
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| Why do Strong, Independant, and Outspoken MEN scare the hell out of the modern-day woman?
Posted: 3/21/2009 11:07:26 PM |  Oh please, there's nothing wrong with people being whomever they are, this ~my side or you are a jerk/witch~ is silly. Not everyone wants the same type of person, there is room enough for all different kinds. Just because a man isn't my type doesn't mean I think there is something wrong with him or that he must be bashed, I just don't date him. It's so simple, we do not have to make fun of or attack those we aren't interested in, why would anyone feel the need to do that? Just don't date them, they aren't out to get you.  | |
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| Why do Strong, Independant, and Outspoken MEN scare the hell out of the modern-day woman?
Posted: 3/21/2009 11:09:56 PM | The only men I have a problem with on here are those who go on and on that all women are gold diggers, all women just want a rich man, all women want a man who has power, all women do this or do that. Get my point?
I also have a problem with the women who go on and on about all men being cheaters, all being abusers, all being this or that.
I have no problem with anyone who voices their opinion, speaks up or acts like who they are. These types of people speak from experience and not just form generalizations of another sex.
There is a huge difference between those who are outspoken and those who act like assclowns.
There are many people who have opinions different than my own but I respect them because they don't make others wrong or pick on those who have different opinions.
~Carrie | |
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| Why do Strong, Independant, and Outspoken MEN scare the hell out of the modern-day woman?
Posted: 3/21/2009 11:21:30 PM |
Reading the forums and posts here on PoF has shone a lot of light on something very disturbing to me.
Me too!
Why cant we let men be men and we concentrate of us being women
Kinda what I was thinking! Just without the gender specific labeling.
Why do people (especially online) tend to see other people as extensions of themselves?
Why do so many people ask questions such as "what are they thinking...what are they feeling...why don't they call...why don't they define things the same way I do (relationships, happiness, cheating, considerate, honesty, caring,etc)...why don't they value my feelings the same way I do...why don't they validate my subjective definitions of right and wrong."
And not focusing on "Why am I thinking this way...why or how am I feeling...Why don't I call them, if they don't call frak it, I have better things to do...I define what I'm worth, I define who I am, and I am going to live up to it and how they treat me and act is a reflection of them not me...I find my emotions important and I give them value...I don't react to my emotions, I question why my emotions react to the situation...I determine what right and wrong are according to my life and live up to them without attempting to force others to my way of thinking..."
Easy answer is insecurity, fear, socialization vs. individuality, nature vs. nurture, instant gratification, maturity, rationalization and self deception, and solipsism.
The complex answer is how the preceding list interacts within the individual and actually thinking for a long time about the concepts. | |
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| Why do Strong, Independant, and Outspoken MEN scare the hell out of the modern-day woman?
Posted: 3/21/2009 11:56:33 PM | | Taipei that was honestly the funniest post I've seen in a long while lol. But hey we are not all that evil. Believe it or not some of us do want strong, indepndant, and outspoken men in our lives because it makes us feel like a lady. No I doubt its always your fault if a girl cries lol and stop comparing us with animals! OP I must say you bought up a good point, I do see eye to eye with your post and this is my honest opinion. | |
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| Why do Strong, Independant, and Outspoken MEN scare the hell out of the modern-day woman?
Posted: 3/22/2009 12:11:47 AM |
Most women these days want a man who she can mold to her own whims. Any man who is independent, sticks to his opinion(s), or outspoken about an issue is "flamed"as a jerk, insensitive, uncaring,****, alpha-male, etc etc.
Where did you read this OP??? I read these forums a great deal and can't remember seeing this so I guess I musta missed it. Or could it be, that I'm just not looking for it??
In short, any man who is bold enough to act as a man is considered somehow not a prime "dateble" material. In the forums here, even some men will go as far as "play"the role of a "softie" just to please some women posters. I have also seen this play out in real world!
Really??? I haven't seen it there either. And you think some men play roles??? Are you saying that men aren't honest?? Really???
So now tell me, what kind of a man do you want? Why cant we let men be men and we concentrate of us being women (not referring to "being in the kitchen etc etc "! )
We're not letting men be men??? Oh no... Who says we have any influence at all never mind "letting" them be whoever they wanna be...
The only thing I could think when I read this thread is that some should really put their Saturday night booze down and back slowly away from their puters!
Sheesh!!! | |
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| Why do Strong, Independant, and Outspoken MEN scare the hell out of the modern-day woman?
Posted: 3/22/2009 12:38:04 AM | Msg1.
You know I asked my girlfriend why that is, and she answered: "If their truely a modern woman they wouldn't be." She later added: "Essentaily those traits are same ones displayed by the modern woman herself." "If she's intimidated by those traits then she's not truely a strong modern woman. She's pretending to be."
After a thoughtfull discussion, I fully agreed.
But the question is: What is a "modern-day woman"?
Most women these days want a man who she can mold to her own whims. Any man who is independent, sticks to his opinion(s), or outspoken about an issue is "flamed"as a jerk, insensitive, uncaring,****, alpha-male, etc etc.
The above quote is not a broad brush for all modern day women, just the ones like their male counterparts that must be domineering in their relationships, if one can call them that.
Sexism has many subtle guises. As does the need to dominate based on one criteria or another. Of current none is more ignoble and tiresome than sexism masquerading as femanism and the "modern day woman" that engenders that perversive need for inequality.
The question never was "who wears the pants" but whom "should". Neither sexes are intrinsically qualified to lead, hence all others follow, because of their reproductive roles and differences.
9to9 | |
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| Why do Strong, Independant, and Outspoken MEN scare the hell out of the modern-day woman?
Posted: 3/22/2009 1:12:23 AM | IMO... Daynadaze is spot on, OP, and I second:
There are way too many variables to consider per each individual to make such broad-brush statements as you have made in your post.
Not everyone wants the same type of person, there is room enough for all different kinds. Just because a man isn't my type doesn't mean I think there is something wrong with him or that he must be bashed, I just don't date him. It's so simple... | |
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