| The REAL reasons you decline a person
Posted: 3/22/2009 4:27:57 AM | We have all been in a situation where someone messages you and you click on the profile only to find that they have some REASON why you wont date them, so you either delete the mail or give an excuse. But what is the real reason you would decline an offer?
Too short
Too tall
Too far away
Not the profession you want
No car
Too fat
Too thin
Too old
Too young
Bad skin
What are your REAL reasons? | |
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| The REAL reasons you decline a person
Posted: 3/22/2009 4:31:03 AM | All of the above, i dont understand why people become so spiteful with regards to others preferences, we are all different and we all like different things, i find it immensely immature how people on these forums love to attack those who have differering views to their own.
*breathes deeply* mini rant over
I will bin him OP if he doesnt have a large wallet, and a large winkle  | |
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| The REAL reasons you decline a person
Posted: 3/22/2009 4:32:25 AM | Well basically we don't make contact with these people because we don't fancy them. I'd have thought that was pretty obvious.
Its not about a REAL reason its about THE reason, and that's individual to each and every one of us. | |
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| The REAL reasons you decline a person
Posted: 3/22/2009 4:48:54 AM | I get a lot of that kath, I feel like the other person either isn't putting the effort in so isn't really interested or isn't making what they're after obvious enough so I'm confused as to which way to take the conversation what to say. I don't think I've ever not replied to a first contact though.
Anyway, I'm happy as I am so no rush. | |
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| The REAL reasons you decline a person
Posted: 3/22/2009 4:51:57 AM | Interesting responses so far and I would further ask
Do you tell them the REASON you are DECLINING them or some other excuse?
If my reason is because of the physical appearance which is out of their control I must admit I make another excuse. | |
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| The REAL reasons you decline a person
Posted: 3/22/2009 4:59:26 AM | I find people often message me who are far too young like 20 yrs younger (whats all that about) or they smoke and I absolutely will not compromise on smokers. Ever.
Oh and I get messages often from the still married variety, which is mega annoying.
I usually say exactly why the answer is thanks but no thanks but then block them if I get asked why.
Respect people | |
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| The REAL reasons you decline a person
Posted: 3/22/2009 5:21:22 AM | | If you don't like them you don't like them no need to tell em the reasons your rejecting them they aren't going to get a date out of you or anything else so its pointless a bit like this thread really. | |
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| The REAL reasons you decline a person
Posted: 3/22/2009 5:37:08 AM |
Do you tell them the REASON you are DECLINING them or some other excuse?
If my reason is because of the physical appearance which is out of their control I must admit I make another excuse.
I never used to be blunt in my reply, im not here to hurt or upset anyone, now i have on my profile that im not going to reply only use the forums. | |
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| The REAL reasons you decline a person
Posted: 3/22/2009 5:37:29 AM | if someone takes the time to write you a message, (one with well thought out sentences rather than the ayup, fancy a shag veriety) then its entirely reasonable to expect a reply.
as for giving reasons for rejecting someone then thats a bit different.
If someone checked most boxes for me but smoked 40 fags a day then i would reply giving the reason why she didnt do it for me. However if she had two heads with no chance of surgery then id probably not reply.
Its all a bit accademic for me as no bugger replies to my messeges anyway  | |
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| The REAL reasons you decline a person
Posted: 3/22/2009 6:25:11 AM | | What gets me is when their stats are up to par... everything you'd be looking for in an ideal match, and then they get to the "about me" section and their grammar is horrendous (or if the grammar is horrendous in their first message to you). The other messages I hate are "hi, my name is so-n-so and I'd like to get to know you better" and they leave it at that. Ummmmmmmm ok. I hate trying to have to start a conversation with someone who initiated the contact themselves. | |
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| The REAL reasons you decline a person
Posted: 3/22/2009 6:27:53 AM | Let me get a message and I might be able to answer.....
We just dont fancy them. It is a shame messages that have taken time to be written are just read deleted. But thats the game we are in. You get pretty thick skin in here. | |
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| The REAL reasons you decline a person
Posted: 3/22/2009 7:54:06 AM | Simple .........no attraction to the person portrayed in the picture.
Do I tell them the truth ?.............by not replying you are already intimating that you don't find them attractive.......... | |
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| The REAL reasons you decline a person
Posted: 3/22/2009 8:09:54 AM | ahhh it's so easy to say no from our wine soaked chairs and toast crumbed keyboards, plus all that choice....once upon a time we would date someone from work, simple drink and chat...now i have to give out a history lesson or pass some kind of psycosymetric test before i am deemed worthy of a response.
3 letters for you E.T.C
energy
time
commitment
if someone can demonstrate that they have the energy, time and commitment. then you should reciprocate this, it dosnt always have to be all 3...2 should be good enough, but one on its own prob wont cut it.
if someone cant show me that they have the energy ie fitness level (not super fit) time, time set aside for long comfy chats and commitment, my version of commitment is...everything sorted in your home...kids, dinner out of way, no telly, no phone and for goodness sake a decent internet connection...this is now mine and yours time...1,2 poss 3 hours of uninterupted chat...save letting the dog out, coffee, tea and wine refills. | |
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| The REAL reasons you decline a person
Posted: 3/22/2009 8:23:17 AM | Ok i know i am going to be flamed for this, but...
I do not date beneath me, do not like skinny men, people with hangups or problems (i know we all have them but if you are strong in character you can deal with it ), other than that i have no qualms with regards to a man physically except for being thin, i am curvy as my mom would call it the "It" factor.
But i would never be so direct in telling them the reasons unless they become abusive or pushy. | |
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| The REAL reasons you decline a person
Posted: 3/22/2009 8:37:27 AM | micaremi1
I hate trying to have to start a conversation with someone who initiated the contact themselves
That is quite annoying. . I had a message yesterday that read " Well tell me a bit about yourself " That was it . My profile is probably the longest [& funniest  on this site and tells you pretty much everything you need to know. This ladies had about two sentences [& that was a load of sh*t]. I just find that quite arrogant actually.
I don't know about men but women very rarely ask you out directly in a first message and are very good at reading between lines generally. So its possible to reply and make it known your not interested without being rude or nasty. | |
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| The REAL reasons you decline a person
Posted: 3/22/2009 8:42:04 AM | | My main reasons for declining someone on here are 1. they don't fit with what I've said in my profile which suggests they haven't actually read it e.g. I state that I'm looking for someone without kids but most of the responses that I get are from men with kids 2. age - if they're young enough to be my son or old enough to be my dad that's a bit of a problem for me! What's an even bigger problem is that most of the messages are from men old enough (or nearly old enough) to be my dad! | |
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| The REAL reasons you decline a person
Posted: 3/22/2009 11:33:05 AM | my reasons
1 dont lie
2 dont be under 40 i am a lover not a teacher
3 ask ur wife
4 no i can buy my own wine i dont need to nip to urs for a glass
5 dream on
6 no 1 night stands
and last BORING BYE | |
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| The REAL reasons you decline a person
Posted: 3/22/2009 1:19:29 PM | It of course does all come down to whether you fancy them or not, of course if they are loaded then that will compensate for a lack of looks or height, luckily I have all three, in abundance.
I simply just write one word in a message I may send to a potential 'date', and that is simply 'stunning'. I get a very good response level, again down to my extremely attractive pictures, and I have of course not had a word of complaint out of any of my 'dates'. I even had one rather 'desperate' potential victim/date send me her phone number today urging me to contact her if ever I was in a particular area of the north east. I doubt I will be visiting that particular enclave of poverty though.
So stop complaining, accept it as part of life, some of us handsome devils will always have the ladies swarming round us, like flies round a turd. | |
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| The REAL reasons you decline a person
Posted: 3/22/2009 1:30:51 PM | well generally speaking I don't get asked out for a date on a first message and I think it's easy enough to let things find their own end if/when the request for a date comes and you don't want it.
I'd not be hones in my reason to decline, no, I think this game is tough enough as it is without someone saying personal reasons why they don't find you attractive especially when there is usually nothing that can be done to change it. | |
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