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| | Has anyone read "Act like a lady, think like a man"Page 1 of 2 (1, 2) | I've just finished reading this book........apparently Oprah recently did two shows on it, but I missed both (some of us have to work......lol). I'm curious to know if anyone has seen the shows or read the book, what you thought of it. In principle, I agree with it, but my reality tells me something very different! Do you think it is more applicable to the younger crowd? I would like to think that age shouldn't matter, but I'm afraid if women followed the principles in this book, we would simply end up old and alone.
The premise of the book, as far as I can see, is old-fashioned. Yes, women should be respected, but the author also doesn't think we should make first contact, we shouldn't pay our way on dates and we should wait 3 months before having sex, plus alot of other stuff. | |
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| Has anyone read Act like a lady, think like a man
Posted: 3/23/2009 9:51:56 PM | | You know what it sounds like a book that would not interest me, sometimes Oprah is a little bit off. The premise of the book as you describe it sounds like a few steps backwards. I think both the woman and man should pay on the first dates. | |
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| Has anyone read Act like a lady, think like a man
Posted: 3/23/2009 10:04:37 PM | But the interesting thing is that, the book is written by a MAN, who is supposedly sharing secrets that men don't tell us!
P.S. I rarely watch Oprah either, even when I am home, but that is not the point. | |
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| Has anyone read Act like a lady, think like a man
Posted: 3/23/2009 10:25:59 PM | I was working on a big project that had me pretty much anchored to my desk most of the afternoon, so I had the TV on, but without paying much attention to what was on.
The minutes turned into hours, and after a while Oprah came on and she introduced her guest, Steve Harvey, the book's author. It was his voice that got my attention. I don't know where I recognized him from, some movie probably.
The only thing I remember hearing before changing to a news channel was he said sex is like a cookie. You don't care what kind of cookie it, but everybody likes cookies.
Yep, I like cookies. 
Okay, I know someone is going to say it so I'll say it first , we're not talking about Girl Guide Cookies. 
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| Has anyone read Act like a lady, think like a man
Posted: 3/23/2009 10:30:32 PM |
the book is written by a MAN, who is supposedly sharing secrets that men don't tell us!
There in lies the problem, hot tip- Most men are pretty stupid when it comes to relationships and don't have secrets.
And if you don't think men are retarded when it comes to matters of the opposite sex just look at current divorce rates.
Amazing what a man will do or go through for the off chance for regular sex. | |
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| Has anyone read Act like a lady, think like a man
Posted: 3/24/2009 1:01:34 AM | Cookies are great but crispy & crunchy are hardly erotic.
I think sex is more like chocolate ..... creamy milk chocolate ...
melts in your mouth, in your hands & all over your body ... smooth, silky, sensuous & sweet. Mmm ...
I thought the saying at first was "act like a lady in public and a ho in bed
I can act like a lady in public and be a ho .....
in the bedroom
in the kitchen
on the patio
in the bathroom
in the laundry room
in the den
in the car
in the boat
in the great outdoors
in the _____ (open to suggestions)
but right now, I'm just a ho .....
in my dreams.  | |
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| Has anyone read Act like a lady, think like a man
Posted: 3/24/2009 6:32:43 AM |
But the interesting thing is that, the book is written by a MAN, who is supposedly sharing secrets that men don't tell us!
He's sharing secrets that some men have. He's basing his book on his discussions with his friends - a self-selected group of likemindeds. I'm sure he speaks for a segment of men, but I doubt it's all men.
Years ago, John Gray let people know how male brains work - he, too, missed the mark in some respects. If you read Harvey's book, don't take it as Bible that all men operate exactly the way he describes.
Bottom line, men are humans - every one different. People purporting to explain the behaviour of an entire gender are BSing you because it can't be done. The best anyone can do is illustrate what's true for a group that shares some characteristics and values.
Not only that, but Oprah keeps telling us that there are aspects of social life for folks of her race that people who aren't part of the same group don't know about. I didn't realize it and have only her word to take for it (well, and the response of people in her audience, who agreed totally) so it's also possible that Steve's advice pertains a bit more to a segment of men which is also delineated by his race.
That said, I totally believe in his '90 days before sex' rule because science tells us that sex generates bonding chemicals - you don't want to be creating chemical bonds with the wrong guys - and, c'mon ladies - who hasn't got hooked on totally unsuitable men before? If you leave the physical out of it, you're better able to assess the guy as a potential partner with your head unfogged by oxytocin and its companion chemicals.
However, the 'don't call', etc. business; fah. You've seen countless posts from guys who think it's hot when women take the initiative. If Steve's friends prefer their women submissive and compliant, good on them, but, to repeat my point, men are not all alike. | |
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| Has anyone read Act like a lady, think like a man
Posted: 3/24/2009 7:52:17 AM |
He's sharing secrets that some men have. He's basing his book on his discussions with his friends - a self-selected group of likemindeds. I'm sure he speaks for a segment of men, but I doubt it's all men.
Good points, thanks Merrylass! Like I said, I didn't see the shows. I totally forgot about John Gray and his books.......always found him too long-winded to wait for the bottomline. I guess what really threw me was, if I was to take the book as "gospel", I would start believing that my ex-husband actually loved me......lol.
Harvey doesn't actually say (in his book) that men prefer their women "submissive and compliant", (rather that we should have high standards and expectations), but yeah, I could see how it could be interpreted that way. For the record, I've always considered myself abit of a feminist, so maybe that is why I am having trouble with his advice. | |
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| Has anyone read Act like a lady, think like a man
Posted: 3/24/2009 6:12:22 PM | 
That said, I totally believe in his '90 days before sex' rule because science tells us that sex generates bonding chemicals - you don't want to be creating chemical bonds with the wrong guys - and, c'mon ladies - who hasn't got hooked on totally unsuitable men before? If you leave the physical out of it, you're better able to assess the guy as a potential partner with your head unfogged by oxytocin and its companion chemicals.- Merrylass
Thank you for putting it so well. I was begnning to think I was the only one who felt that way....I am not saying it is easy to do. But very definitely worth the wait, for a million reasons, I found.
MN | |
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| Has anyone read Act like a lady, think like a man
Posted: 3/24/2009 8:59:52 PM | Now what woman in her right mind would want to voluntarily "think like a man"?lol Sorry I cannot I am a WOMAN!! Sheeeeeeeeesh ! I got my man figured out anyhow!!He's a happy man! | |
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| Has anyone read Act like a lady, think like a man
Posted: 3/24/2009 10:58:20 PM | That said, I totally believe in his '90 days before sex' rule because science tells us that sex generates bonding chemicals - you don't want to be creating chemical bonds with the wrong guys - and, c'mon ladies - who hasn't got hooked on totally unsuitable men before? If you leave the physical out of it, you're better able to assess the guy as a potential partner with your head unfogged by oxytocin and its companion chemicals. - Merrylass
I always knew that sex tended to bond people, but I didn't know there was any science to back it up. What I have heard/read however, is that
sexual tension (waiting for sex), stimulates chemicals in the brain, that help/make it eaiser to fall in love. Which is why relationhsips where people
have sex too soon, often fail to flourish. | |
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| Has anyone read Act like a lady, think like a man
Posted: 3/24/2009 11:36:26 PM | Oh man, is this guy who writes this book, ever something else.
Had a few sneak previews of some of the pages from this guys book, on the web.
A couple things that I had noticed from his book were, first of all, in one of the chapters from his book, it states,
"The Three Things Every Man Needs", Support, Loyalty and the Cookie".
Ya ok, however tho the guy also goes on and states that the ONLY way a woman can truely be completely SATISFIED, is, GET THIS dudes, to get herself four, thats right, "F O U R" different men, to satisfy her different needs.
The four different men are, "an old one, an ugly one, a Mandingo, and a gay guy".
Hmmmm, interesting, and you dudes think that men's needs of Support, Loyalty, and the Cookie, are going to get met with that??????
Guess again, NOT a CHANCE, dude, because ALL THREE have just been shot out the tubes, all in one shot, YOU INCLUDED, DUDE.
Ya, the book maybe directed at the woman, but, you guys had better get your hands on a copy of this book, like ASAP, to read what the author is telling the woman. | |
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| Has anyone read Act like a lady, think like a man
Posted: 3/25/2009 12:59:02 AM | I was just reading some of the book and have to agree with quite a bit of what he says...It sounds like healthy advice, totally win-win.
Yes win-win for both parties POSTER 15. You are obviously misunderstanding what you read.
I found what I read informative and helpful, also comforting is some ways.
I'd recommend it to my daughters! And my sons too! 
MN | |
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| Has anyone read Act like a lady, think like a man
Posted: 3/25/2009 2:39:47 AM | "POSTER 15. You are obviously misunderstanding what you read."
Oh, did I now, then if I misunderstood it so much, then how come it came right from
his online book.
How come, that he states, the three things that men need, are, "Support, Loyalty and the Cookie".
Followed by, the ONLY way a woman can truely be completely SATISFIED, is, to get herself four, thats right, "F O U R" different men, to satisfy her different needs.
Which are, "an old one, an ugly one, a Mandingo, and a gay guy".
Followed by, that woman can change the parameters anytime they want.
Got that right from his online book, unless he is lying.
Don't try and fool me with "I must of misunderstood it," old enough, and too wise to understand, and figure that game out.
Especially when I seen , and read what he had said with my own eyes, from HIS book.
Read the book, again, and see what he says, from a "LOGIAL" point, rather then from an "EMOTIONAL" point. | |
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| Has anyone read Act like a lady, think like a man
Posted: 3/25/2009 7:33:14 AM | ^^^ I think you're taking what he said far too literally. You can only read a bit of the book online so you haven't read what he meant. Clearly, he doesn't actually mean four men.
By the way, it would never be 'I must OF' anything. It's 'I must HAVE' - contraction 'must've' - which sounds like 'must of'. | |
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| Has anyone read Act like a lady, think like a man
Posted: 3/25/2009 8:18:32 AM | ^^^^^^^^Excuse me, as said before, I read it, EXACTLY what the guy said.
Besides, ya going to deny it????????????
As for taking it too far, uhhhhh, don't give me that crap , old enough, and too wise to know and figure that game of manipulation out, thank you much.
Nice try, didn't work. | |
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| Has anyone read Act like a lady, think like a man
Posted: 3/25/2009 10:49:13 AM |
^^^^^^^^Excuse me, as said before, I read it, EXACTLY what the guy said.
Besides, ya going to deny it???????????? -DTC
Yes you read it, yes that is what he says exactly, BUT you are misunderstanding it because you did not read the explanation which makes total sense.
The title does not inferr that women should think like men, but rather learn how men think and what they want, what moves them. Oddly enough, from what I read I understood that men want women to be women and proud of who they are. In other words they want us to be exactly the way we want to be (ourselves), with higher standards so they can rise to be better men.
No manipulation here DTC, on the contrary, very comforting to know that being my natural self is all that is required. The book dispells a lot of mutual misunderstandings between the genders.
MN | |
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| Has anyone read Act like a lady, think like a man
Posted: 3/25/2009 11:59:50 AM | Uhh...
Does the book tell you how to get Yogurt out of certain orrifices??? All this "trying to be a woman-man" stuff sure has me confused.
I think I need to cry, and then puch something. Followed by a good chat about how I feel when I cry and punch, followed by a stop at the peeler bar. Then I will buy some shoes... and a dildo, which will envoke all kinds of personal insecurities....
HELP | |
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| Has anyone read Act like a lady, think like a man
Posted: 3/25/2009 3:38:00 PM | "Yes you read it, yes that is what he says exactly, BUT you are misunderstanding it because you did not read the explanation which makes total sense."
Yuppers, I read it, and it IS, exactly WHAT he said, and NOPE, I did not misunderstand anything.
Totally understood EXACTLY what he was saying, WORD for WORD.
Sooooooooooo, what I had said before, stays, and does NOT change at all.
So, you can agree with it or not, that is YOUR CHOICE, not a problem, and you can think I am being an a s s or not, once again, your OUR CHOICE, however, that does NOT change my opinion, on it.
And thats all there is too it.
Because, I am not changing it, and DO NOT, try to change me, either.
Anyhow, enough said, ENOUGH badgering the living, crappen h e l l out of it.
What's said is said,and whats done is done, movin on.
NEXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!! | |
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| Has anyone read Act like a lady, think like a man
Posted: 3/26/2009 3:15:01 PM | I trust this will please my late night caller…
…. I'm afraid if women followed the principles in this book, we would simply end up old and alone. .
it is not the principles of the book why women end up old and alone, it is the principles women set and constantly change that leads to being alone…lol
…. The premise of the book, as far as I can see, is old-fashioned.
seems to me it is rather to sell and make money, just another one of those self-help thingies our parents and grandparent generations never needed 
….yes, women should be respected, but the author also doesn't think we should make first contact, we shouldn't pay our way on dates
utter nonsense.
people should ideally respect each other regardless of gender, and no one should expect a free ride
Anyone reasonably free of any gender biases wouldn’t care who initiates a contact
and we should wait 3 months before having sex, plus alot of other stuff.
anyone who respects other persons also understands that each of us is different and has different values, so act respecting those
sexual tension (waiting for sex), stimulates chemicals in the brain, that help/make it eaiser to fall in love
no secret here
generally that condition is referred to as horny or desperate
usually when encountered in men women 
usually when encountered in women men drop their pants, hence the saying caught with yer pants down
Which is why relationhsips where people have sex too soon, often fail to flourish.
gross misinterpretation of reality
relationship for men lasts as long as the sex, since men think straight linear and logical having the woman around combines all conveniences he may seek including sex, ‘k this is sarcasm…lol
alas, here is where men go wrong and that is no secret
the book is written by a MAN, who is supposedly sharing secrets that men don't tell us!
nonsense, strictly monetary interests
that MAN knows women are like mushrooms…lol
men don’t have secrets, every woman knows after five minutes of pillow talk she’ll know it all
it is the women’s secrets that confuse the hell out of men, cuz every time we think we got it figured things weren’t what she said they’d be….just look what this has done to guido.
Amazing what a man will do or go through for the off chance for regular sex.
Bravo Viper, needs to add some men….
men are not all alike.
thanks marrylass and neither are all women
none of us is perfect either and be it mistake in relation ship or other we all make them and learn, well some may be slower at it …lol
there are many possible reasons why we may choose a wrong partner, generally and oversimplified speaking it is part of the evolutionary intent to create diversity…no need to be hard on yourself…
a grown up man or woman with some life experience also knows getting together with the opposite sex cannot be forced into a 20-60-90 day rule, all we need is to make some rational decisions knowing what is good for us and maybe assessing the possible consequences if things should not work as planned, in the meantime a healthy portion of hope and common sense should do it
, I would start believing that my ex-husband actually loved me......lol.- toronado,
why would you want to doubt that?? You both were married and spent a few years together, so you are different , feel, express differently. Believing he did not love you only devaluates your own judgement and self-respect, you are bigger than that.
Oprah had too many cookies, she is the epitome of Dumb and Dumber flattering herself with bullshiat makes the world go round, obviously it works she gets richer by the minute…
"act like a lady in public and a ho in bed"
a life of experiences says it all, and private should remain private IMHO | |
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